018 | Chapter Eighteen - It's Not Enough for Just You

—The whole world can push me away, but you… you’re not allowed.

Even after that day, Xiaoyue continued to avoid Diaz.

She deliberately avoided mealtimes, rarely went out, and would even hide back in Mark's room as if she had seen a ghost whenever she heard or saw the numbers on the private elevator.

Even though half a month has passed, and running away has become a bit childish, Xiaoyue is still not ready...

Her "I love you" that she once blurted out not only went unanswered, but now she has another "cheating" incident with irrefutable evidence. How can she forgive Diaz?

How can we move forward like adults, face the issues, and sit down to resolve them properly?

"In the end... he's clearly not the kind of person who can sit down and 'solve problems properly'..." Xiaoyue said with a sigh, holding Mark in her arms, breastfeeding him while looking out at the night view.

The diamond ring on her ring finger glittered slightly, serving as a constant reminder of her identity over the past two weeks, and how utterly powerless she was... a "godmother" who could only be protected by others.

"Since we're husband and wife... shouldn't we at least break this awkward silence?" She lowered her eyes, sighed deeply, and looked at Mark, who was gradually falling asleep in her arms, feeling a mix of emotions.

Because it wasn't that she hadn't thought about divorce, but whenever that devilish whisper rang out, another voice would always follow—"Are you willing to do that?"

So now, what choice do they have besides enduring it? Let's assume Diaz really agrees to the divorce...

Can she truly let go of Diaz? And let go of Mark?

After leaving this fortress-like building, how will she, who has been married and has children, and who has been a prostitute, survive?

While gently patting Mark's little bottom to soothe him into sleep, Xiaoyue temporarily cleaned up the still-flowing breast milk with a nursing pad, standing in front of the crib with a gloomy back view.

But just then—

Let's go back to about half an hour ago.

Diaz sat on the living room sofa, blankets and his suit lying haphazardly on the floor, the ashtray on the low table overflowing, the whiskey glass filled with the vibrant colors of the night, and water seeping from the ice forming a puddle on the table.

He was as desperate as a soldier who had run out of ammunition and food, facing the dimly lit night scene alone, the silvery moonlight only making his figure appear more desolate.

The cigar held between his fingers, its smoke winding upwards, remained motionless like a statue, simply lighting one cigar after another without ever taking a puff.

He leaned back on the sofa, examining the ring on his ring finger, his brown eyes already dull and lifeless.

He didn't know how to handle the situation. That bitch Mary had disappeared into the sewers like a cockroach. Even with all his connections, he was always just a little short.

The symptoms of dizziness and insomnia became more and more severe each day, and Diaz could not even eat or sleep.

His thoughts were entirely focused on his wife and son.

I had thought about just dying like this...

However, he was never one to enjoy ambiguity or dragging things out. Besides, he hadn't been able to get over that feeling of injustice since returning from Mexico.

And his life, like quicksand, slowly vanished.

Thinking of this, he could no longer sit still. He stubbed out the cigar in his hand, letting the sparks and white smoke make a sound in his palm, as if he were completely oblivious.

Perhaps it was because the heartache he was experiencing at that moment had forced him to shut out other, insignificant senses.

He got up and walked towards the stairs, heading towards the floor where the child and Xiaoyue were. Even though his steps were firm, only he knew how uneasy he felt at that moment.

Diaz stood in front of Mark's door, his hand already on the doorknob, and after a few deep breaths—

"Crack!"

He finally saw the face he had longed for for half a month, and those blue eyes that seemed to hold the entire universe. At this moment, she was using an extremely sexy back view to tidy up her fragrant breasts, and in the dim light, he could even see the damp fabric.

At that moment, I could even feel my chest tighten, and I forgot my duty to breathe, and I forgot that he was there to "communicate properly".

It seemed that the moment he saw Xiaoyue, his body's instincts would spiral out of control, heating up on their own, and his initial trepidation would be replaced by impulsiveness—

He needs her! Now! Immediately!

Diaz didn't care what Xiaoyue would think; he only knew that every cell in his body was screaming, "I'm going to make her mine!" But he swallowed it all down his throat and didn't say it out loud.

In a swift movement, he scooped up Xiaoyue, carrying her lightly on his shoulder as if she were weightless, and quickly carried her out the door, quietly closing the nursery door behind him.

"I have something to say to you... Let's go back to the room." His attitude was still uncompromising, but it wasn't as forceful as before, or rather... it was so weak that it was heartbreaking.

Although Xiaoyue was shocked, she also felt a sense of relief. She nodded slightly on his shoulder without saying a word.

Although she had been staying with Mark to avoid trouble these past few days, she had been hoping that Diaz would take the initiative to break the ice. However, she did not expect that Diaz's originally low tone and vulnerable demeanor would gradually turn into a beast-like impulse and desire after seeing her.

Back in the bedroom, Diaz placed her on the large bed. His chest heaved violently, causing his originally pale face to flush. His fists, which clenched and unclenched repeatedly, spoke of his suppressed emotions.

"Mary and I have never been lovers."

He looked at Xiaoyue, and even though his desire was beginning to ignite, he still wanted to make things clear.

"That woman's a crazy arms dealer. When I was young and naive, I traded my body for a few sets of weapons, and that's how she got clingy to me." He continued, plopping down next to Xiaoyue, and sighed. "Plus, she'd helped me out a bit. I went there this time simply to cut ties with her, but I never expected that bitch to pull such a dirty trick on me!"

He looked at Xiaoyue with a rare expression of deep affection and seriousness, "Only you... are different to me."

"You are my only weakness, and no one is allowed to offend you."

Diaz tried to speak to Xiaoyue in the gentlest tone, saying things he had never told anyone before, hoping she could understand that he was truly forced into this situation and that he was absolutely loyal to the marriage.

When he reached out, wanting to touch Xiaoyue's thigh—

She instinctively pulled her leg back.

Even though Diaz's words were sincere and she was moved by them, her body chose to pull away the moment he approached...

This simple, almost unintentional mistake deeply wounded Diaz's heart.

—His large hand gripped her leg in an instant!

"Don't you dare run away." He turned his head, his brown eyes like molten lava from hell, churning with a terrifying heat, yet the force with which he gripped her was so strong it almost left finger marks. "I... you can never escape from me."

His breathing grew heavier and heavier, and Xiaoyue knew exactly what this meant. Her body instinctively tried to move to the side—even though she knew she shouldn't run away, the intense pressure made it impossible for her not to.

However, this action was nothing more than provoking the Lion King.

The next second, Diaz not only grabbed her thighs, but also leaned in on her!

"Di, Diaz...wait! We...we're supposed to have a proper talk, aren't we? Don't be impulsive!" Xiaoyue was pinned down by him and couldn't move, so she called out nervously in a low voice.

Her heart pounded wildly as if out of control, and a feeling of bewilderment welled up within her.

...She wasn't ready, not ready for Diaz to touch her!

The one who was touched by another woman... Diaz.

"Wait...? I've been waiting for you for half a month, Xiaoyue." Diaz had already leaned down and pressed his entire body against her neck, like the most thirsty beast, fiercely inhaling her scent, his hot lips pressed against her skin that was sweating from nervousness, slowly and carefully rubbing against it.

"Now that I'm taking the initiative, you're telling me to 'wait'?" His voice was low, husky, and sticky, sounding like a coquettish plea, yet also like a declaration that was about to tear her apart.

Sure enough, the next second Diaz's hand tore the thin nightgown apart, as if to destroy all her vulnerability and hesitation, and it split in two with a "whoosh."

Xiaoyue understood perfectly what Diaz was saying, but the image of him and Mary entwined became clearer and clearer with his kisses, the sticky sounds of water, the heavy breathing, and the blatant provocation.

Those images filled her limbs like poison, even though she knew Diaz hadn't done it "voluntarily."

...But she just couldn't do it!

"No!" She pushed Diaz's chest away, her voice choked with sobs, her eyelashes glistening with tears, trembling slightly.

Diaz was shocked by her rejection again. He looked down at the woman in his arms and she pushed him away, trembling.

Just like the first time he assaulted me in the brothel.

He should have stopped, but he couldn't. Because he didn't know where Xiaoyue would run off to after he let go.

That alone is why he can't let go.

Although Xiaoyue subconsciously said "no," only she knew in her heart that she could never truly "reject" this man.

This... man I loved with all my might.

"Don't want to? You have no right to refuse!" Diaz suddenly said sternly, his tone several degrees lower, and he pressed her down on the bed with one hand, his lips forcefully breaking through her teeth, intertwining with hers in the most domineering way.

"The whole world can push me away—" His hand reached for her soft private parts without hesitation, and began to roughly rub the thin, soft fabric, while he said angrily.

"...You're the only one who can't do it!"

The more domineering Diaz was, the more Xiaoyue couldn't help but resist.

The two were pulling at each other like people heading in opposite directions, yet they couldn't stop their entanglement—

That night, Diaz possessed her completely in the most intense way, as if trying to wash away his own impurity in this way, again and again.

Even though Xiaoyue was somewhat resistant at first, by the fourth time, she couldn't remember why she was resistant or what the point of it all was.

The two were like flames burning at their most intense intensity, their eyes fixed on each other, oblivious to everything else.

It was as if the end of life was no longer frightening.

It was as if the world consisted of only the two of them, and nothing else mattered anymore.