Chapter 20

Su Yu is going crazy with studying.

It's April 20th on the calendar. Birds are flying freely in the bright and clear sky, and flowers are blooming on the green grass. But the upcoming college entrance examination makes people too busy to appreciate these natural beauties.

Su Yu became famous in our senior year. I can't remember which mock exams were the most difficult, but he got the highest score in the whole school in English, and he was still far ahead of the second place by a lot of points.

His fame spread so far that even some high school sophomores came to pay their respects, though they only glanced at him as they passed by our floor.

This is how they described Su Yu:

He had thick, black hair; if he took good care of it, he would definitely be a handsome guy. I couldn't see his facial features clearly, but he was wearing a pair of rather large glasses. He was slim and liked to wear a gray hooded sweatshirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and the zipper undone.

He usually wears a pair of dark blue sneakers, which look loose and baggy, so his legs probably aren't thick.

The only abnormal thing was his overall demeanor; he seemed like he was about to die.

...

The above is the incomplete information I have collected, which differs from what I imagined, but it is roughly the same.

Seeing Su Yu's dark circles almost reaching his nose, and his increasingly unpleasant complexion, it truly pained me. But he acted as if nothing was wrong and continued to bury himself in his studies.

To keep his grades from dropping, he studied day and night. Teachers would chase after students like me with sticks, but they only showed concern for Su Yu.

During lunch break, we seniors would just sleep on our desks in the classroom, which was really uncomfortable, and I rarely managed to fall asleep. I sneaked outside to clear my head, and unexpectedly but predictably, I found him always huddled in a corner reading.

"Brother, what are you doing?"

"Memorize some vocabulary."

"My God, aren't you sleepy?"

"The college entrance exam is coming up soon, I have to memorize it..."

There's absolutely no need to worry about his grades; if he could participate in some kind of competition like others, I wouldn't be surprised if he got a guaranteed admission.

Su Yu spends less time in the classroom than in the office; he's seen going to various teachers almost every day to memorize texts and notes. I understand the pressure he's under, and as time goes on, even Qiu Jiajia senses something is wrong.

"You need to talk to your brother."

It was a peaceful evening study session. The biology teacher was sitting at an empty table at the back of the classroom supervising the class. Qiu Jiajia was holding a small mirror and curling her bangs when she inadvertently glanced at someone coming in through the back door.

Upon closer inspection, it was Su Yu.

He came to the biology teacher with his test paper and book to ask questions, which was fine, but Qiu Jiajia's heart tightened when he stumbled on the threshold.

"They're studying, what are you talking about?"

"Tsk, look at your brother's current state of mind, isn't it? If this continues..."

She frowned and tapped the table with the tip of her pen.

"From now on, you'll only see your brother on the wall of honor."

"Oh...it's that serious."

I have carefully considered Qiu Jiajia's words and also believe that this is something that cannot be ignored any longer.

I started to wonder why he had to work so hard.

From kindergarten to junior high school, he performed exceptionally well. While not outstanding, he was praised by teachers and parents as he grew up.

Our parents never put much pressure on us; they always said that it was best if we did well in school, and if we didn't, so be it.

In their eyes, as long as my brother and I are healthy and safe, it doesn't matter how successful we are.

Needless to say, I absolutely adhere to my parents' teachings and don't put too much pressure on myself.

But it's still the college entrance exam, so I have to put in the effort.

Su Yudu started acting strangely, becoming increasingly distant from his classmates, and his senses became so acute that he could hear even the slightest "ding" from a microwave oven on the other side of the ocean.

That day, I went to the toilet during my evening study session as usual, but before I even left the room, I overheard a conversation between Su Yu's homeroom teacher and his subject teacher.

I tried my best to press myself against the curtain, and I could vaguely hear words like "the pressure is too great," "this can't go on," and "he's pushing himself."

If it gets to the point where even the teachers can't stand it anymore, then I'll have to take action.

On the night before the holiday, while Su Yu was away, I packed our things, asked the homeroom teacher for leave, and then took Su Yu out.

He was still clutching a crumpled political knowledge booklet in his hand, the highlighter marks penetrating the paper as if about to drip down.

"Where are you going? Is something wrong at home?"

When Su Yu came out of the classroom, her eyes were unfocused, and the next second she was about to lean on me.

"Something happened to my family."

My words made him nervous, and I pulled him outside. As we went down the stairs, I felt like he hadn't realized what was going on. I didn't know if I was leading him or if I was a puppet.

I picked up my backpack and luggage, sent a message to Xiaoxing, and then, looking at my location and room number on my phone, I hailed a taxi.

Su Yu was still nagging me about what was wrong, completely unaware that the knowledge points in her hands were about to be torn apart by him and Feng Qili.

The car wouldn't arrive for a while, so I put down my things and stood at the school gate. The streetlights cast a yellowish-white glow, making Su Yu's face look even more pale.

I hugged him tightly.

I was so tight he couldn't say anything. I felt him gradually lose his strength and his breathing slow down, so I tried to loosen my grip with some skepticism.

Instead, he hugged me.

It would be a lie to say I wasn't excited, and it would be an even bigger lie to say I wasn't enjoying it.

Reason prevailed, and I patted him on the back.

A sobbing sound came from beside my ear, and a patch of my clothes on my shoulder was soaked.

Holy crap, he cried.

Didn't I say before that my brother doesn't cry easily? Only something really big can make him shed tears. Now I need to think about this carefully.

I remained silent, watching the car approach. I pulled him away; his handsome face had eyes as red as crystal, and his tears were like the clearest glass.

She pouted, holding back tears and sobbing softly; you'd think she was a child who had made a mistake.

Once in the car, he remained silent, his tears stopped, and he just stared blankly at the scenery flashing by outside the window. The shops were already closed, and I knew that the outside world could not heal his pain.

He arrived at his destination not far away and was a little lost.

Standing behind me, looking around at the unfamiliar surroundings, he had no choice but to follow me.

Xiao Xing is really something... I asked him to book a small hotel, and he got me a big hotel.

I can only afford half the room rate for this kind of place, bro!

Who asked you for it?

(rolls eyes) (nail polish)

So loyal!

In my next life, I'll be your dog and your brother will be your cat.

:roll

I casually stuffed my phone back into my pocket and glanced at my brother sitting next to me on the sofa, still not quite recovered. I got up to get my card from the front desk, and he followed closely behind.

In the elevator, he whispered that I acted like an adult.

I have a feeling something's going to happen tonight.

I've never stayed in such a luxurious hotel before. The place I'd only ever seen on my phone is now right in front of me. Staying calm, I put my things away and let Su Yu take a shower first.

When he came out, he was wrapped in a bathrobe and sat down next to me. The scent of his shower gel filled my heart.

When I finished washing up, he was still memorizing the key points.

I folded the printed paper neatly, then grabbed his hands with both of mine and shook them violently, determined to shake him until he was completely broken.

Finally, he smiled and even blew a snot bubble from his nose.

The room was quiet. I took his pajamas and helped him change, then went to tidy up my other things. Suddenly, I felt a warmth on my back, followed by immense pressure.

This brat sat on my back, and just when I, this mountain, was about to collapse, he stood up, went around to the front of me, and helped me up.

The faint redness in his eyes couldn't hide his worries at all, but he was still pretending to be fine, no matter how I asked, he said he was fine.

Now I believe that "nothing happening means something is wrong".

He turned his back, and I watched him. After a few rounds, he covered his eyes with his hands.

Then she hugged me and started crying loudly.

The cries were earth-shattering and echoed throughout the sky.

I was worried that he might cry himself hoarse, so I guess Xiaoxing's comment about good soundproofing was because he expected my brother to cry.

They helped him to the bed, but he couldn't sit up at all.

As I lay down on it, I have to say something unrelated: this bed is so soft.

He remained with his eyes closed, his body lying stiffly on the chopping board like a fish.

I put one leg up on top of him and wrapped one arm around his waist, listening to him cry and tell him how he had endured these past few days.

It's so painful for me to hear, but I'm his shoulder to lean on now.

He said he failed his exam, and that the more he memorized the knowledge points, the more he forgot them, while everyone around him was improving their scores.

He said that standing still is regression, and that the exam was just a fluke and a stroke of luck.

He said he found that his ideal university was far from his own, and he didn't want to repeat a year of high school.

He said he didn't want to go through all of this again, and he didn't want to go back to the way things were.

He said he didn't want to disappoint his parents.

He said he wanted to earn money to support me, and he said he wanted to die.

He is much more profound than me. I haven't thought that far into the future; I just want to cherish every moment I spend with him in the present.

Su Yu's face had turned into little steamed buns. I comforted him, kissed him, and caressed him, wanting to tell him that I was right here and that he could express himself freely.

I don't know how many words and phrases I thought I would never be able to say in my life have been said. It turns out that when facing the people we truly cherish and love, some things really don't matter.

As the crying subsided, I conjured up a cup of honey jasmine water for him from the bedside table. After feeding him the water, he calmed down and slapped his face several times.

He looked at me and laughed, wearing the eyes of a "sad frog".

That night we talked all night long, from when I was still an infant to now when we are lying next to each other.

“You’ve grown so much from such a tiny little thing.” He raised his hand, gesturing with his index finger and thumb, then stretched it out and looked back at me.

His eyes were sparkling, and I was reflected in them.

As our desires intensified, we almost took our first step towards adulthood, but ultimately we managed to restrain ourselves.

Su Yu was looking at my phone over and over, seemingly examining something, when suddenly he exclaimed in surprise.

"What are you searching for?!" You twisted my ear so hard it felt like it was going to be eaten with a drink.

I got embarrassed by him and started grabbing his phone in a mess. He wouldn't give it to me, so I started making a scene, and we ended up making a huge fuss about the bed.

Finally, things quieted down during my parents' video call.

"Oh dear, is she crying? What happened?!"

As expected, Mom got anxious.

"It's okay, it's normal for students at this stage." Su Yu lowered her voice to make it sound normal.

"Is it that difficult? If it is, then don't learn from us! Don't put so much pressure on yourself. Your father and I only hope that you will be healthy and safe in your lives..."

After these words were spoken, my husband, who "specializes" in education, also had to speak out.

"Hey, that's right. Eldest and second eldest, we gave birth to you and raised you, not so that you could compare with other people. Live your lives well, and if you can, live a wonderful life. If not, that's okay too. Your mother and I can take care of you."

"But boys still need to be self-reliant. They can't be poor and have nothing to offer when they look for a wife in the future."

I stopped myself in time, otherwise we'd be talking about outer space.

After turning off our phones, Su Yu and I fell into an eerie silence, the previous joy and noise gone.

We're all here, all thinking about what Dad said.

Get married and have children.

...

“Look, we’ve made the bed look like we’ve already done it,” Su Yu whispered in my ear as she leaned close to me.

"I'll let you come and do the real thing when I get home tomorrow."

"Um!"

The night was deep, and we fell asleep holding hands.