37. If there is still a tomorrow

The beginning and end of "Little Reunion" contain the same sentence: "On the morning of the big exam, the bleak mood is probably comparable only to the dawn before an army goes into battle, like the slave revolt in 'Spartacus' watching the Roman army arrayed in the morning mist. It is the most terrifying scene in all war films because it is all about waiting."

Fang Kaixuan's wait was not terrifying. But it was far too long.

Because it's all about waiting.

The two of them were preoccupied with their own thoughts, unlike the last time he came to Beijing, when he was simply happy.

This time, perhaps knowing that time was too short, he wanted to make it feel like it would last forever. Fang Kaixuan was like he was defying someone, determined to make every second count.

Then she thought about it and wondered, who should she be angry with?

Aside from themselves, who would care about the joys and sorrows of an ordinary couple?

"Is it because you know there's no tomorrow that you're so happy?" Fang Kaixuan asked quietly as they lay on a yoga mat, both of them preferring to sleep on the floor.

He propped himself up with one arm and said earnestly, "May I offer you a little criticism? Just a tiny bit."

Fang Kaixuan nodded.

"You seem to be exceptionally prone to pessimism, yet you immediately force yourself to be humorous and optimistic. But isn't that exhausting?"

If someone else had said this, Fang Kaixuan would probably have thought that the other person was just blaming her for being hypocritical and pretentious.

But the person in front of me didn't possess the skill of being sarcastic and ironic; all his words came from the heart.

Fang Kaixuan did not refute.

A seemingly optimistic attitude stems from a fear of being hurt, so they act as if it's okay to be hurt, laughing all the while.

“I don’t agree with the premise of that statement,” he continued.

"What premise?" Fang Kaixuan had already forgotten his casual remark.

"Of course there will be a tomorrow, as long as..." He seemed to realize that he had nothing to be sure of.

Fang Kaixuan gently added, "Believe. Just have a little faith."

He nodded. "I was going to say that as long as you are healthy, go to bed early and get up early, eat a balanced diet, and exercise regularly."

"You'll live a little longer, won't you? You'll become more and more of a smooth talker, like a 21st-century man."

"Honestly, I prefer the 20th century."

“Guess what? Me too,” Fang Kaixuan replied. “Back then, people still cared about their manners.”

Unlike now, when people are vicious and utterly uncivilized.

Perhaps it's true that he's getting older, but Fang Kaixuan has been feeling nostalgic lately, much like the old woman in Lu Xun's story, feeling that nothing is right about the present world. The weather is exceptionally hot, the people are exceptionally fierce, and the food is exceptionally unpalatable.

"Alright, what shall we do tomorrow?" He asked hastily when he saw her frown again.

In the end, there were no special arrangements. It was just my usual routine: waking up early and going to bed early, eating three meals a day, taking walks in the park, watching the ducks, playing with the dogs, and looking after the children.

They were very ordinary from the very beginning.

Strangely enough, Fang Kaixuan isn't someone who's easily swayed by everyday life. Xiao Ju also says she always likes to maintain a certain air.

It wasn't that she deliberately acted unnaturally; it was simply because she had been disciplined for so long since childhood that she rarely truly relaxed, even in her dreams. Every morning when she woke up, her cheeks ached because she clenched her teeth even in her sleep. Before falling asleep, she often found her hands unconsciously clenching tighter and tighter, her nails almost digging into her palms.

Not to mention in front of men. Even after marriage, she rarely appeared without makeup in front of her husband. When Xiao Ju first heard about this, she was shocked and didn't know whether to say that Fang Kaixuan was extremely hypocritical or that Chen Zhilun was skilled at taming his wife.

Fang Kaixuan always wanted to be a perfect person. She used to believe that only perfect people would be liked.

But in front of Gu Qiye, it didn't matter if she didn't wash her face, or wear an old, discarded T-shirt as pajamas. She didn't need sexy lingerie or special hair styling; he'd already seen her exhausted to the point of near collapse on the volcano. Back then, forget about makeup; even sunscreen was washed away by sweat, leaving white streaks—she looked utterly disheveled.

He never felt anything was wrong. What's rare is that Fang Kaixuan could also be at ease with it.

She had never felt so at ease in front of a man in her entire life.

Gu Qiye explained to her, "Women in our time no longer wore makeup."

"Do we no longer need to pursue beauty?"

"I will still pursue muscle shape, but I won't paint my face with red and white."

Fang Kaixuan glared at him, "You've caught the straight male chauvinism so quickly."

But she was happy to be relaxed. Once you understand the joy of wearing elastic-waisted pants and flats, who would want to wear stilettos and fitted dresses?

He didn't seem to care what she wore.

If there's a flaw, it's that he's too calm and composed. Aside from a brief moment of passion between them by the lake, such a significant event simply passed by. Of course, this was because he was emotionally stable.

This stability is exactly what Fang Kaixuan needs at this stage.

Two or three years ago, she would have thought that such a man was not enthusiastic enough.

It was just right, a perfect match, so they didn't experience any deep sadness or shared lamentation. Instead, they went to the market, bought some simple vegetables, and ate a hot meal together. Fang Kaixuan, however, didn't have many of these ordinary moments in her memory. She had several relationships, but by chance, none of them progressed to cohabitation. Later, after going abroad, she lost interest even more, and then came marriage.

So, the ordinary things like grocery shopping and cooking together at home are actually more romantic to her. She doesn't need to go to the rooftop bar of the city's tallest building or a four-course French restaurant in a courtyard house to experience that exhilarating feeling.

Staying at home is enough.

It's a little disappointing that he doesn't drink.

"You really don't know how to enjoy life. What good is advanced technology if you can't even take care of your physical body?"

He smiled and said, "Indeed, purely physical pleasure is considered a depraved act."

"Why?"

"Because life is so short, there's not enough time to work hard and benefit humanity, so how can we do meaningless things?"

Fang Kaixuan never expected that humanity would go around in circles, still wavering between "tomorrow will be better" and "I don't want to work hard anymore".

"But you disagree?"

He nodded, looking dejected: "I've actually fallen so low that I find it quite enjoyable to do nothing."

Fang Kaixuan knew he was joking.

However, falling in love with the sunsets, smoke, rain, coffee, and cocoa of this century were all outside his plans.

She turned off all the lights in the room, leaving only a single candle.

What night is this, that we share this candlelight? If we can still understand each other like poets from a thousand years ago, then a difference of a hundred years is nothing, isn't it?

Looking at the flickering faces of the people around her in the candlelight, she felt an extraordinary tenderness welling up inside her.

It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter at all. Just having experienced it for a moment is already a great blessing.

In the long river of time, each person's life is but a fleeting moment.

He seemed to understand her inner thoughts and said, "I'm so lucky."

Fang Kaixuan had been in several relationships, but no matter how heart-wrenching the love and hate was, it seemed nothing compared to this extremely quiet night. Naturally, without speculation or doubt, he accepted everything and forgave everything.

I just feel extremely at ease.

It's like traveling all over the world, but only in this little house do I feel like I've truly come home.

He took out a plain ring, seemingly a little embarrassed, "It's nothing precious."

Although Chen Zhilun later turned out to be a jerk, and initially proposed empty-handed with only a soup bowl, he later made up for it by giving her an engagement ring. It couldn't compare to the carat diamond rings of female celebrities, but it still cost him almost half a year's salary.

Fang Kaixuan cherished that diamond ring very much, and he was reluctant to wear it for fear that it would slip off when he shook his hand. He would even carefully take it off when washing his hands.

He took it back immediately after the divorce. After all, it was worth over ten thousand yuan.

Apart from that, Fang Kaixuan has never worn a ring.

Thinking of this, Fang Kaixuan smiled, extended his right hand, and gestured for him to put it on. Then he turned his hand around and examined it closely under the light.

"Isn't it a coincidence? I happen to like these thin silver rings, especially the kind you buy in local Antigua shops." She smiled, pursing her lips. "I don't like the others."

He seemed to want to say something but hesitated.

"Please speak." After spending some time together, Fang Kaixuan had come to understand the meaning behind his expression.

"It's just a small gift, I don't mean you have to wear it." He was vague, but Fang Kaixuan understood what he meant and replied, "But I really like it, is that okay?"

A ring represents a commitment or possession.

"I shouldn't have too many expectations or hopes." He rarely said such disheartening things. Fang Kaixuan had a strange feeling, as if his life force would significantly decrease in the city.

"...But?" she asked tentatively.

“But,” he said, bowing his head, “don’t forget me.”

Fang Kaixuan laughed. Usually, she's the one in a relationship who's prone to melancholy and afraid of losing the relationship.

She was pleased to see him, usually so calm and composed, suddenly become so greedy today. It was because of this greed that he wanted to beg.

“Let’s go,” she suggested.

Where to?

“The ring is beautiful, so I can’t wear it in the dark.” Fang Kaixuan raised his right hand. “Let’s go, even though it’s already past midnight.”

On a winter night, your breath freezes in the cold air, making you instinctively want to snuggle into someone's arms. No wonder in the North, even if you want to break up in winter, you have to wait until spring.

"The fundamental desire of love is to find a free covenant amidst a sea of ​​strangers."

I forget who said it, but Fang Kaixuan felt that it couldn't be more true.

Amidst the sea of ​​people and the rush of time, Fang Kaixuan stretched out his right hand in the cold wind, a thin golden line on his ring finger gleaming under the streetlights. It wasn't a constraint, nor was it witnessed by anyone; this covenant was one Fang Kaixuan had voluntarily entered into.

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