3 guests

"Really, that's great!" Fei Yu's voice could be heard from afar.

"What's wrong?" I asked, holding my book, as I approached Fei Yu's territory. Fei Yu now lives in our mother's old villa, which is closest to the main house. It has mountains and water, and many adorable goldfish, cats, dogs, and other animals. They are all Fei Yu's toys.

"Brother, Brother Han and the others said they need to handle some business here and will stay for a year or two. Dad invited them to stay at our house. They agreed. Then we'll have someone to play with. What do you say, brother?" Fei Yu tugged at my sleeve. How could I say no?

I looked up and saw Han Beiming sitting to the side, looking me up and down with a half-smile. I immediately looked down, my damn face burning hot again.

"Okay, from now on, Feiyu will have so many older brothers to play with you." I stroked Feiyu's hair; it was so soft and smooth. It gave me a feeling as if I were seeing my mother, whom I had never met before.

"In that case, Fei Yu, why don't you show us around here?" Han Yitian said with a smile, standing subtly between Fei Yu and me. I was a little confused, looking at Fei Yu's excited expression and Han Yitian's complete lack of attention towards me. Why was he hostile towards me?

"Then, how about I take you on a tour?" I turned to look at Han Beiming. He was leisurely drinking tea.

"From now on, I'll follow Yi Tian for now. I need to keep a close eye on him to prevent him from doing anything inappropriate."

Although I didn't understand, I nodded anyway. Since he's a friend, I should consider his actions trustworthy. I should respect his decisions and help him. But why do I still feel so lost, all the frustration building up inside me? I'm so sad. What's wrong with me?

My thoughts are in turmoil. Watching Fei Yu and Han Yitian playfully teasing each other, I can't understand Han Yitian's provocation towards me. Seeing Han Beiming talking to Fei Yu, however, fills me with a pang of heartache—a strange, inexplicable emotion. I can't understand my problem, and no one tells me what to do. If only my older brother were here; he would surely give me an answer. I used to envy the love Fei Yu received, especially how much our father doted on him. Fortunately, Fei Yu is innocent and naive, and with my brother's encouragement, he wasn't spoiled. But this feeling of not wanting Fei Yu and Han Beiming to be together is growing stronger, even more unbearable than Fei Yu stealing everyone's affection.

"What's wrong? You seem downcast." Han Beiming and I were lying on my roof, looking at the stars. The night was rather gloomy, with only a few scattered stars remaining.

"It's nothing," I replied.

"If you're feeling down, you should express it. If you consider me a friend, you should rely on me. Don't you want to talk about it?"

Do you know why Han Yitian is hostile towards me?

"You're upset over this? Ignore him. He's never been quite right. We became friends after a fight back then."

"But Fei Yu seems to like him a lot. It makes me feel like I'm no longer her brother. It feels like she's been taken away from me."

"...You like Fei Yu?" Han Beiming suddenly sat up and looked at me.

"Of course, who doesn't like him?" I looked at him, puzzled.

"That's different. Fei Yu seems to depend on you a lot." There was a hint of bitterness in her voice.

“We are twins,” I declared. “We share the same parents and are born of the same twin, so of course we’re closer. It’s normal for him to depend on me; we’re the same age.”

"Really?" He suddenly became serious. "You two are so close that you can share a bed?"

“We…” I hesitated.

"Even if you're siblings, men and women shouldn't be too close. I'm surprised that your relationship seems a bit too good."

"No...is it okay?" I know, but I have never treated Fei Yu as a younger sister. He is a younger brother, and always will be.

"Feiyu will never get married." Han Beiming smiled and patted my shoulder.

“Fei Yu won’t get married. I’ll take care of him for the rest of my life,” I said with a smile. “My second brother will take care of him too. He’s our precious child.”

"Any girl will get married, why would you want him to become a monk?" Han Beiming was somewhat displeased. I couldn't catch his thoughts.

“The chances of Fei Yu getting married are very low, he…” I looked at Han Beiming’s increasingly cold gaze. I was going to say that he could never leave this family because he should marry, not be married off. But I changed my mind. “He’s in poor health. I’m very worried that his future in-laws will mistreat him.”

"I see. Just find someone reliable who is good to him." Han Beiming's coldness had disappeared, and his gaze softened considerably.

“But…Feiyu can’t have children,” I said quietly. “Will anyone still want him?”

"Why do you always speak ill of your sister?" Han Beiming suddenly changed his tone, as if interrogating a criminal. "Are you so inseparable from him? How can you be so selfish? Don't you want Feiyu to experience his excitement? Or are you so jealous of him that you won't allow him to marry or to experience his excitement?" His words were flat, his voice devoid of emotion. The cruel words left me speechless, unable to refute or answer.

"Wait, you..." The anxious voice behind me couldn't stop me. I walked away without turning back, because I didn't want him to see my tears.

Why did I cry? Was it because his harsh words were similar? Or was it me…?

I'm a man, I can't cry, I can't show weakness. It was his fault to begin with, I'm right. Why say that about me? I'm not wrong, absolutely not wrong, not at all…

I buried my head in the blanket, crying and pinching my own flesh hard until the physical pain surpassed the sorrow in my heart.

When they weren't around, I would go play at my older brother's place, but now they've taken it over; the back hill is my paradise. The back hill is beautiful—green grass, peonies, trees, a small hill, a stream, and a waterfall. Beneath the waterfall is a delicate lake, not too big, not too small, with a thousand-year-old tree beside it. I love being there, either doing nothing, watching the waterfall flow gently, the fish swimming in the lake, or holding a book, munching on fruit, lost in the enchanting world of literature.

"Fei'er, you're here. I've been looking for you everywhere." Han Beiming's voice rang out from under the tree.

"Hmm." I didn't answer. I continued reading my book.

"Fei'er, are you still angry?" Even when Han Beiming was apologizing, he didn't feel inferior. It was as if that natural domineering aura belonged to him.

Ignore him.

“Fei’er, I’m sorry,” he said sincerely. “I shouldn’t have said that. I know you wouldn’t slander your sister.”

"How did you know?" She was fiercely criticizing me last night. Today, she's completely changed her tune.

"Feihua told me that Feiyu is indeed in poor health and may never be able to have children."

"Hmph." He still doesn't believe me, actually asking my second brother such a question. My second brother must be in a difficult position too.

Suddenly, my vision blurred, and he pulled me down. I fell from the tree, book and all, landing right in his arms. As a hot-blooded young man, I had never had such physical contact with anyone except Fei Yu, and I immediately blushed.

"Let go!" I struggled, trying to jump out of his arms.

"Still can't forgive me?" Han Beiming gave me no chance to escape. His face drew closer and closer. His gaze was so intense that I couldn't ignore it.

"I forgive you. Put me down." My heart was racing, and I quickly said this.

"Really?" Han Beiming smiled, his face less than a centimeter away from mine making me feel uneasy.

I felt both sad and a bit hot.

"I forgive you, really, really. Put me down."

"Okay, I won't tease you anymore." Han Beiming let go of me, and I jumped far away to guard against another attack.

"To show my sincerity, I will definitely give you something. Just tell me what you like," Doctor Han Beiming said, patting his chest.

"May I have your jade flute?" Han Beiming always carried a sword and a rare flute. Those without internal energy couldn't produce a sound, and those unfamiliar with music couldn't play a tune. He rarely used it, assuming it was merely an ornament. Having it was of no consequence.