Finding Joy in You

He was once the only light that shone into my bleak senior year of high school, and also the root of all my pain.

A closeness that began out of guilt blossomed into the most genuine悸动. When t...

Dating

Dating

On Saturday, the sky was clear and it was a rare good day.

When Jiang Yile received a call from Gu Nanxiao, he was at home worrying about his math test.

His voice came through the receiver, with a hint of electricity and deeper than usual.

"Do you have time?"

He asked directly, but with a barely perceptible nervousness.

"……have."

Jiang Yile held the phone, his fingertips tightening slightly.

"The Central Bookstore has just received a new batch of art albums. Want to take a look?"

He gave a reason that sounded quite legitimate.

"good."

She had almost no hesitation.

After hanging up the phone, Jiang Yile turned around in a circle before rushing back to the room to change clothes.

It took me twice as long as usual to choose clothes. In the end, I wore a goose yellow sweater and light-colored jeans, which looked fresh and bright.

When she arrived at the Central Bookstore, Gu Nanxiao was already there.

He was standing in front of the tall bookshelf in the art book section, looking up at something.

Today he wore a simple white sweatshirt and black trousers, which made him look less cold and aloof than in school uniform and more youthful and handsome.

The sunlight poured through the glass skylight on top of the bookstore, casting a soft halo on him.

He seemed to sense something, turned his head, and his eyes found her accurately.

At that moment, Jiang Yile seemed to see a slight flicker of light in his eyes, which were always as calm as water.

He walked towards her and handed her the thick, beautifully bound "Collection of Impressionist Masters" in his hand: "I saw this and thought you would like it."

Jiang Yile took it and looked through it. Inside were high-definition prints of paintings by Monet, Renoir and others that she liked very much.

She looked up in surprise: "How do you know I like Impressionism?"

Gu Nanxiao turned his eyes slightly away, looking at the bookshelf beside him, and said calmly: "In your sketchbook, you copied Monet's "Water Lilies."

Jiang Yile was stunned.

It was a copy she had made a long time ago, with only a few strokes, and was placed in the corner of the sketchbook. Even Zhou Xiaowei didn't notice it.

But he saw it and remembered it.

A feeling of being carefully cherished, like warm spring water, instantly flows through the whole body.

They stayed in the bookstore for a long time, standing side by side in front of the bookshelves, quietly flipping through picture albums.

Occasionally, he would point to a painting and whisper a word or two about his opinion. His insights were unique and profound, and she benefited greatly from them.

She would also excitedly share with him her favorite painters and works, and he would listen quietly with a focused look in his eyes.

It was already afternoon when I came out of the bookstore.

The sun is shining brightly, and it feels warm on my body.

"Are you hungry?" Gu Nanxiao asked.

"A little."

He took her not to those busy restaurants, but turned into a quiet old street and found a noodle shop that looked quite old.

The store is not big, but it is clean and tidy, and the proprietress greeted them warmly.

He ordered a bowl of signature beef noodles and looked at her: "What about you?"

Jiang Yile looked at the menu and had difficulty making a choice.

“The wonton noodles here are also good, the soup base is very fresh.”

He recommended it seemingly unintentionally.

"Okay, wonton noodles then."

Jiang Yile is quick to follow good advice.

While waiting, the two sat by the window.

The sunlight shines through the clean glass windows and falls on the old wooden table.

He didn't say anything, just took out his cell phone and seemed to be reading a message, but Jiang Yile noticed that the corners of his mouth were slightly raised, showing that he was in a good mood.

The noodles arrived quickly.

Just as he said, the wonton noodle soup is clear and delicious, and the wonton skin is thin and the filling is large.

He ate the noodles gracefully, quietly and quickly.

He silently put a few slices of braised beef from his bowl into hers.

"It was more than I could eat."

He explained, his tone natural, as if he just didn't want to waste it.

Jiang Yile looked at the extra beef in the bowl and felt sweet in his heart, so he didn't expose him.

She ate the noodles in small bites and felt that this was the most delicious meal she had ever had.

After dinner, they took a slow walk along the old street.

On both sides of the road are some old sycamore trees, whose branches and leaves have not yet fully grown, and the sunlight shines through the gaps, casting mottled light and shadows.

Occasionally, a person on a bicycle would pass by with the jingle of his bicycle, bringing up a breeze.

They still didn't hold hands and kept a perfect distance from each other.

But the atmosphere is relaxed and warm.

They talked about the upcoming monthly exams, their favorite movies and music, and their vague aspirations for future college life.

He talked a lot more than usual. Although she was the one talking and he was listening most of the time, he would respond seriously and his eyes were always on her.

Walking to a stall selling handmade candies, Gu Nanxiao stopped, bought a bunny-shaped marshmallow and handed it to her.

The snow-white, fluffy rabbit has its eyes and mouth dotted with pink syrup, and looks very cute.

Jiang Yile took it and couldn't help laughing: "Why would you buy this?" This really didn't seem like something he would do.

"Looks... a lot like you."

He looked at her and Marshmallow, his eyes soft in a way that she herself didn't even notice.

Jiang Yile's face turned red again. He carefully licked the marshmallow. The sweet taste instantly melted in his mouth and went all the way to his heart.

This weekend afternoon, like a candy carefully wrapped in candy paper, with bright colors and sweet taste, has become the most vivid and warmest bright color in Jiang Yile's memory of that spring.

The sweet daily life is like a trickle of water, quietly permeating the boring life of senior high school.

Every seemingly ordinary moment is given different meaning because of the existence of another person.

Jiang Yile discovered that the gentleness beneath Gu Nanxiao's cold exterior was long-lasting and omnipresent.

He would remember the approximate time of her menstrual period, and during those days, he would always prepare warm brown sugar ginger tea in her thermos.

When he did this, his face remained expressionless, as if he was just completing a task, but the temperature of the glass of water was always just right to soothe her.

Once, she casually complained that she got hungry easily when reviewing at night.

The next day, there was a box of individually wrapped cookies of her favorite flavor and a bottle of milk in her desk drawer.

It wasn't signed, but she knew it was him.

During basketball training, he accidentally sprained his ankle. Although it was not serious, he walked with a slight limp.

After school that day, he still walked beside her silently, but stubbornly refused to let her help him.

Jiang Yile was angry and distressed. He kept watching his footsteps all the way, his brows furrowed even tighter than his own.

She didn't breathe a sigh of relief until she dropped him off at the familiar alley near his residential complex and watched him walk in.

The next day, she came to the classroom early and put a bottle of blood-activating spray and several plasters on his desk.

When he came, he saw the things, was stunned for a moment, and then looked up at her.

Jiang Yile pretended to lower his head to read, but his ears turned red.

He didn't say anything, but carefully put the bottle of spray and ointment into his schoolbag.

And her love for him is also reflected in countless subtle moments.

When he represented his class in a physics competition, she would secretly slip a small note with the words "Come on" and a smiley face on it into his pencil case.

She would notice the brand of black gel pens he liked to use, and when he was almost out of them, she would "happen" to buy a few more and then "accidentally" put one in his pencil case.

She remembered that he had mentioned that he liked a certain rock band, so she took great pains to find the digital source of that out-of-print CD, and carefully gave him half of one of her headphones during lunch break.

The headphone cord was not long, so the two people had to be very close.

As the powerful music exploded in her ears, she saw him closing his eyes, tapping his knees lightly with his fingers to the rhythm, with an expression of relaxation on his face that she had never seen before, almost intoxicated.

At that moment, she felt like she had glimpsed another wild and free world deep in his heart.

They still maintain an appropriate distance in school, without being public or ostentatious.

But in the eyes of their classmates, the atmosphere between these two good-looking classmates is no longer the same as before.

Zhou Xiaowei often winked at Jiang Yile, and Zhang Hao would occasionally joke, "Class monitor, your study group is so efficient," but Jiang Yile would always brush them off with a blushing face.

These bits and pieces of daily life, like scattered pearls, are strung together by the thread of emotion, weaving into a brilliant and secret memory of youth.

Apart from the mountains of test papers and endless review, they carefully guarded this budding relationship, drawing courage and strength from it to face the future.

They all naively believed that this relationship, which began in early autumn, fermented in the cold winter, and bloomed in spring, would follow the river of time and sail smoothly towards the other side called "the future."

However, they didn't know that the torrent of fate had already been brewing in the dark.

The past that Gu Nanxiao carried heavily on his shoulders, the truth about rainy nights, blood and illness, was like a crack hidden under the ice, which could completely tear apart all the beautiful yet fragile things in front of him at any time.

But at this time, they were just immersed in the sweetness and throbbing of first love, enjoying the last and most gentle tranquility before the storm.