075 | (Seventy-four) Blacklist

"It's Mom's fault."

Xie Jinyu embraced her daughter and gently patted her back, just like when she was a child and she was being put to sleep.

“You’ve always needed someone to take care of you since you were little. You need to be pampered wherever you go. After I divorced your father, I felt that he was spoiling you. I kept you by my side, always wanting to toughen you up and make you stronger so that you could take care of yourself when you grow up. But… I didn’t do a good enough job. I was too hasty in some things.”

When Xie Qingyan was a child, she was spoiled by Zhang Fulan, especially during the period after returning from France. Her spoiled nature reached its peak, and she would throw a tantrum and cry if she didn't get her way. This shows how much Zhang Fulan pampered her.

Seeing that her daughter was getting older but still not mature at all.

Xie Jinyu had tried to force her daughter to grow too quickly, intending to cruelly neglect her and change her temperament. Now, it seemed she had gone too far and the opposite of what she intended. Being a parent is an art; no one is born a good parent. Xie Jinyu thought to herself that she still had a lot to learn.

Xie Qingyan sniffed: "I don't blame Mom. I think you are really amazing. Since I was little, when my classmates talked about their mothers' professions, I could proudly tell them that Mom is a big boss who manages a lot of people, and then I would show them the works that Mom designed."

Xie Jinyu is a top student in architecture. Her company runs a well-known design team. Some of the trendiest landmark buildings in Jincheng and even across the country were built based on her designs.

She really liked Ms. Xie Jinyu's decisive and efficient manner, her way of directing her subordinates, her dashing and capable demeanor, her unwavering commitment, and how a single casual glance could make people ponder her carefully for a long time—she was incredibly cool.

As long as she's not too harsh on her and spends more time with her, Xie Jinyu is the best mother in the world. She's so easy to coax, Xie Qingyan thought smugly.

Xie Jinyu reached out and tidied her daughter's stray hairs by the temples. She then changed the subject and said, "If Mom does something wrong, you can tell me directly in the future. But if you do something wrong, I will still punish you when necessary. I can't let you always get away with it by being cute."

"I don't care." Xie Qingyan hugged Xie Jinyu's arm. For now, she was going to play the role of a mama's girl and coax Xie Jinyu into forgetting about the punishment: "If you want to punish someone, it'll be next time."

"There will be a next time?" Xie Jinyu frowned.

"You misheard me," Xie Qingyan said with a silly grin.

Xie Jinyu patted her hand and added, "Xiao Xing got soaked when she came to find you, so remember to thank her and don't be rude."

Xie Qingyan's face fell at the mention of this person. He said "Oh" and pouted, looking very unhappy.

Xie Jinyu noticed that there was a small gourd hanging from her mouth and asked, "Why are you unhappy again? Did you two have a fight? I noticed he wasn't talking to you just now."

Xie Qingyan was afraid that her mother would notice something was wrong, so she straightened her back and said coldly, "What do you mean by having a conflict? My relationship with him has never been very good."

Xie Jinyu smiled slightly and said incisively, "When you were little, you would pester others to play with you, but they would ignore you and complain to me. You would be so awkward and make me go and find them to come and play with you. Now that you're grown up, you've become like strangers."

Xie Qingyan refused to admit that she had enjoyed playing with that little mute boy when she was a child, stubbornly denying it: "You're talking nonsense. That was so many years ago, I don't remember at all."

"You two children, really." Xie Jinyu shook her head. Perhaps it was because she was getting old, but she couldn't understand what the young people were thinking. She could only recall the way Su Xingmao looked at his daughter, which always seemed to have a deep meaning.

Xie Qingyan was spoiled and too self-centered, which was very much like her. When Zhang Fulan and she argued the most, she always said that she disregarded other people's opinions and complained that she didn't love him as much or as deeply as he did. She had thousands of things on her mind, and he was the last one to come to her.

Later, after countless arguments and endless quarrels, they were both exhausted and weary. He looked at her with such sorrow and grief, and said in a dying struggle, "Let's get a divorce."

Without hesitation, she agreed.

She thought that it was better to part amicably than to be a bitter couple.

Much later, Xie Jinyu finally realized that Zhang Fulan didn't really want a divorce. Perhaps he was using his resolute words to force her to stay, or perhaps he would rather be a miserable couple with her. But by then, it was too late to say anything.

Xie Jinyu gazed at his daughter's features, which resembled her father's.

Her daughter is probably the same; she is slow to develop romantic feelings and is clueless about emotions, unable to understand their meaning.

Xie Jinyu is not a stubborn parent; she was also rebellious when she was in school.

Su Xingmao was someone she had watched grow up. Apart from being quiet and a bit cold, she was reserved, steady, and knew her well. If her daughter also had feelings for him, and provided it didn't affect her studies and she paid attention to safety, she would turn a blind eye.

"You think you can just forget me like that? You turned off your phone just now, and I couldn't get through. It was raining so hard outside, I was so worried about where to look for you. I was almost about to call the police, but Xiaoxing came over and said he could find you."

How could their relationship be bad? Xie Jinyu didn't believe it.

Will he be able to find her?

Xie Qingyan was suddenly stunned, and realized for a moment that Su Xingmao seemed to be able to find her no matter where she was.

She couldn't believe it. Was he some kind of personal navigation system? Or had he installed a tracking system on her?

"Did he say...where can I find me?" Xie Qingyan asked casually, secretly perking up her ears to listen carefully.

"That wasn't mentioned."

...

As night fell, the rain gradually subsided.

Summer is gone, the cicadas have fallen silent, the noisy rain has stopped, and the night is quiet and still, with only a few stubborn leaves that refuse to bow their heads, still rustling in response to the wind's call.

Xie Qingyan picked up her phone, tossing and turning in bed, unable to sleep. She thought about her mother's words and how she had blocked Su Xingmao a week ago.

Xie Qingyan sprang up from the bed with a swift movement, tiptoed to the window, lifted a small corner of the curtain, and peered out to see if the light was still on in his window.

Xie Qingyan couldn't deny that she wasn't so angry when Su Xingmao came to find her, but... she just couldn't stop herself from saying something sarcastic.

Strangely, she couldn't stand his silent and composed demeanor, but whenever she saw Su Xingmao's usually calm face, her heart would beat exceptionally fast because she lost control of her emotions.

A moment's recollection of that time, and the thought that the once smooth and lustrous exterior had cracked open, revealing emotions rarely seen in daily life, all thoughts of self-discipline and restraint were cast aside. The brows dimmed with disappointment, and the eyes suddenly turned cold with anger...

She felt a surge of hot blood rushing to her face, making it feel incredibly hot, as if it were on fire. Her head was boiling, a strange mix of tingling and numbness, a strange sense of exhilaration and triumph.

This is probably a kind of wicked sense of humor; she seems to really enjoy making people angry.

But that didn't quite fit. Xie Qingyan thought about it carefully. She just really wanted to make Su Xingmao angry.

Who told him to be so good at feigning indifference?

He does not show his emotions.

Unlike her, her happiness and dislike are very clear.

It's more fun to make someone like that angry.

Xie Qingyan looked out.

Outside the glass, the window was pitch black, the curtains were tightly drawn, not letting in a single ray of light, quite different from usual.

The crape myrtle tree, its blossoms faded, stands alone, facing the sycamore tree in the next courtyard. Neither is in its prime; its lush greenery is gone, its leaves withered and yellow, lying scattered on the ground.

It's so late. Su Xingmao has a regular schedule and must have already turned off the lights and gone to sleep.

Xie Qingyan counted a few leaves falling through the gauze window before slowly lowering the curtain, climbing back into bed, and muttering under her breath, "How annoying! How can he possibly sleep?"

Her finger hovered over the screen, hesitating for a long time before clicking into the blacklist. Seeing the familiar profile picture, she hesitated for a moment before her fingertip fell, switching to his profile. She paused again and again at the "Add to Blacklist" button, then closed her eyes, gritted her teeth, and clicked it.

I saw that I had reconnected with [XX] as friends.

Xie Qingyan, feeling guilty, immediately turned off the screen, pretending she had pressed the wrong button and that Xie Qingyan couldn't see it.

My heart was pounding like a rabbit's.

In the darkness, she pressed the cool screen of her phone against her face to cool her burning cheeks, then reassured herself that as long as she didn't send any messages, Su Xingmao probably wouldn't notice. She could "accidentally" send him something in a few days—well, she'd say…

Xie Qingyan racked his brains, and suddenly a flash of inspiration struck him!

She said her mother asked her to come and thank him, and that's why she took pity on him and removed him from the blacklist. She figured that since he was such a quiet person, he probably wouldn't investigate further.

The next second, my phone chimed with a WeChat notification.

Xie Qingyan covered his face with one hand, his heart pounding so hard it felt like it was going to fly to the sky. Could it be?

He discovered she'd blacklisted him? So fast!

Xie Qingyan gripped the edge of her phone, waiting for her heart to calm down before slowly flipping the screen. Even though she was checking her own WeChat, she felt like a thief, filled with anxiety and unease, her heart pounding with nervous anticipation, like someone about to scratch a lottery ticket.

Before even seeing who posted it or what they posted, my mind is already rehearsing how to reply in a way that gives me the upper hand.

She closed one eye and squinted the other, then turned on the homepage and clicked on the message pop-up.

[Zhou Hanyu]: Yanzi, Yanzi, what are your plans for National Day? Want to hang out tomorrow? (Kuromi makes a heart shape with his hands)

ah?

Xie Qingyan immediately relaxed, pouting. "What? It's just an invitation from a friend."

It hurt her so much... She bit her lip.

Xie Qingyan entered the chat window and was pondering how to reply when a new message pop-up suddenly appeared at the top of the phone screen.

[XX]: Why did you drag me out?

Her breathing stopped.

Even through the screen, this calm questioning sent chills down her spine.

【XX】: Don't you hate me?

The bed was quiet, isolating her from all the sounds around her. She didn't like this annoying silence; all she could hear was the pounding of her heart.

It was extremely noisy.