Chapter 5 He had a hard life

If she were to say who she felt most sorry for in her previous life, no one could be better than the woman in front of her.

My grandmother's family favored boys over girls. My mother, Su Xiaojuan, dropped out of high school when she was a teenager. She fell in love while working in the south and had her daughter before she was 20 years old.

My boyfriend is handsome and good at talking, but he becomes panic-stricken and helpless when something happens and has no plans for the future.

Su Xiaojuan was strong-willed and broke up immediately. She asked her fellow villagers to raise money to go to the hospital and prepared to live her life as usual.

But after she signed the abortion consent form and took half a step into the operating room, she turned around and ran away.

Su Xia knew very little about what happened after that.

As far as I can remember, the mother and daughter rarely went back to their grandmother's house to celebrate the New Year. Young Su Xiaojuan didn't need to rest and had no tears. She was beautiful, smart and capable. In just a few years, she transformed herself from a girl working at a clothing stall to a female boss who drove a Mercedes-Benz.

Su Xia doesn't remember anything before she went to school, so there aren't many hard times in her childhood memories. Starting from kindergarten, she had the best food, clothing, and other necessities. Even her nightgown was made of silk with little rose ribbons. She had everything she wanted.

Su Xiaojuan herself has never been to college, but she is obsessed with her daughter's education.

If you can get into the best school, then apply. If you can't, then spend money. Finally, Su Xia was sent to No. 1 Middle School.

Despite having the best teachers in the province and a school building with red walls and green vines, Su Xia only has Zhou Zhiyan in her heart and eyes.

She quarreled with Su Xiaojuan every few days, and she kept saying "None of your business". Occasionally, when the quarrel got too intense, Su Xiaojuan rubbed her temples and yelled at her to get out, but she would not give in, and even blurted out the harsh words that her grandmother had used to scold Su Xiaojuan.

Later, a major accident occurred in the factory and Su Xiaojuan was implicated and imprisoned. At the last moment, she tried her best to deal with the situation just to leave more property for her daughter.

And what about Su Xia at that time?

She was frightened by the overwhelming media attention and cried all night because of Zhou Zhiyan's cancellation of the engagement. Even when she went to visit Su Xiaojuan in prison, she only cared about venting her grievances.

The omnipotent mother seemed to have aged and become thinner overnight.

Su Xia didn't look closely.

She has such a hot temper, I wonder if she is bullied in there.

Su Xia never asked either.

A month before reuniting with Xu Jiqing, the police called and said that Su Xiaojuan had died of cardiac arrest in prison.

Three days later, Su Xia returned to the old house to pack up her mother's belongings. The princess dresses she wore as a child were neatly folded, and the photo albums filled the entire cabinet.

Su Xia pulled out a book.

They were all photos that she thought were ugly, with Su Xiaojuan's flamboyant handwriting on the white borders:

"Xia Xia has new teeth, and I can't help but touch them."

"The toy store at the corner of the street closed down. My daughter looked like a princess wearing this two-dollar plastic necklace."

"At the cultural performance, I gained weight and couldn't wear a skirt, so I cried at home."

"Why are you ugly? There is no girl prettier than you. You are the only Xia Xia in the world."

…

Su Xia flipped through it randomly, but couldn't put it back in. She didn't know where to put it, so she subconsciously called out "Mom".

During the long silence, the old clock on the wall ticked forward.

The room was empty, with only her shadow on the ground. Su Xia's heart was clenched into a piece of mud, and she cried so hard that she couldn't even stand.

How long has it been since she called her mother?

Three years after Su Xiaojuan's death, the loneliness of having no blood ties in the world was so unforgettable that she still felt uneasy when she called out this name again.

The air conditioning in the car is very cool.

Su Xia held her mother's waist tightly and rubbed her face against the woman's clean dress without any effort. The brooch scratched her delicate skin, causing a burning pain.

Su Xia didn't feel any pain, she just felt lucky——

How lucky do you have to be to have a chance again?

She was only seventeen years old at the moment.

The second year of high school has just started, and the new factory building has not yet begun to be built. It is a bright summer day outside the window, and she is wearing a school uniform skirt that Su Xiaojuan washed and smells delicious. She and her mother still have a long future to walk together.

In the back seat of the car, the girl's tears covered Su Xiaojuan's chest. Her pretty little face was a mess of tears, and she was choking and couldn't even utter a complete sentence.

Su Xiaojuan froze in mid-air for a moment before ruffling Su Xia's hair. Her hard tone softened as her heart softened. "...Are you really heartbroken this time?"

"I told you long ago that boy is unreliable. The sooner you recognize him, the better." Her daughter had been rebellious for years, and she hadn't been hugged like this since she started high school. Su Xiaojuan was a little uncomfortable. "Do you want dinner? Western or Chinese?"

Su Xia said in a muffled voice, "I want to eat the food my mother cooks."

"Don't give me that," Su Xiaojuan twisted her ear, "you were looking down on me a few days ago, saying that I could only make candied tomatoes."

"I lied to you."

The girl's eyelashes were wet, and she nuzzled into her mother's neck again. "I just like tomatoes with sugar."

"No matter how nice your words are, you still have to play the violin. Teacher Li's lessons are ridiculously expensive. If you skip it again, I'll cut off your pocket money for next month."

Su Xia hummed and hummed randomly, sniffing like a puppy.

Laundry detergent, sweet skin cream, the plaster on the woman's shoulder, and that inexplicable attachment that seems to be innate.

This is the taste of mom!

-

It was just after four in the afternoon.

The roads in the city center have become congested, and I had to wait for three red lights before I could cross one street.

The elementary school at the corner of the street had just finished its session, and a large group of children, backpacks on their backs, ran out chattering. Among the parents waiting at the door, there was, quite unexpectedly, a teenager wearing a No. 1 Middle School uniform.

Su Xia looked up through the car window.

It was late summer, the sun scorching the asphalt road. Xu Jiqing squatted by the roadside, tying the shoelaces of a little girl with a mushroom-haired hairstyle. The dappled light from the sycamore tree fell on his back, swaying softly. From Su Xia's perspective, all she could see was the boy's thin chin.

Xu Jiqing moved quickly and tightened the shoelaces on both of the little girl's feet, but he did not stand up immediately. He still squatted there and gestured to the girl.

It was too hot, so he rolled up the sleeves of his school uniform.

The boy has cold white skin and long, strong forearms.

Even from such a distance, the scars, alternating in depth and shallowness, were still clearly visible. The most obvious one was on the right arm, running almost from the elbow to the wrist bone. The stitches were hideous and rough.

Su Xia twisted her body and looked for a long time, until the green light came on and the white school uniform shrank into a dot of light at the end of the traffic flow, then she turned her head back.

"Did you see your classmates?" Su Xiaojuan glanced over and saw nothing but cars.

"……nothing."

Su Xia hugged her mother again and swallowed her emotions.

She knew he was having a hard time.

But many of the hardships that she thought would only come in high school had actually been placed on Xu Jiqing's shoulders even earlier.

-

Back home, because Su Xia had never been so coquettish and submissive, Su Xiaojuan gave the cook a day off and personally cooked a table of quick dishes:

Sugar-coated tomatoes, fried luncheon meat, and two bowls of instant noodles with green vegetables and fried eggs.

The appearance was ordinary, just the kind of home-cooked meals that Su Xia would never have liked in her previous life.

The taste is still the same, but this time she understands the value of ordinary time and finds it extremely fragrant.

The lights in the restaurant were soft. Su Xia held chopsticks in one hand and a spoon in the other, burying her head in her food and wolfing it down.

After finishing the last mouthful of noodle soup, she burped unladylike while holding the bowl and prepared to go to the kitchen to clean it up.

Su Xiaojuan stared in amazement.

Because the boy she liked called her fat last semester, Su Xia tried her best to lose weight. No matter how much people persuaded her, she refused to eat dinner. Even when she was so hungry that her legs were weak, she would only take a couple of bites of an apple.

She almost forgot the last time her daughter had a happy and full meal.

Su Xiaojuan was worried that she was upset by the breakup. "...If you're really upset, don't go to your cello class. I'll ask Teacher Li for leave for you."

"Why ask for leave? I will go on time every time from now on."

Without even raising her head, Su Xia rubbed bubbles with a sponge. The scent of lemon detergent wafted in the air, and her pleated skirt swayed.