Chapter 36

Chen He woke up with a strange feeling.

Before he was fully conscious, his body had already received some kind of signal. Someone was behind him, very close, doing something.

The sensation was subtle, like something cool was pressed against his skin, or like someone's hand roaming over his back. Chen He's mind was still in a daze, but his body's instincts had already kicked in.

He instinctively tried to cover something.

Halfway up his hand, Chenhe hesitated for a second in his dazed state, wondering whether to cover his neck or his groin? Should he cover his front or his back?

This absurd thought brought him to his senses a little. He closed his eyes, his mind filled with the outrageous comments he had seen in the comments section and forums a few days ago, such as "who is 1 and who is 0", "how to mark double A", and "I feel like Chen Yuchuan will bite people" and other such nonsense.

Shen He was so speechless that he wanted to slap himself. He had actually been brainwashed by those so-called geniuses.

But the next second, the icy touch on his back became clearer, accompanied by the rustling sound of fabric rubbing together.

Shenhe suddenly snapped back to his senses and instantly became clear-headed.

Almost reflexively, she twisted her body, instinctively covering her back with her other hand. The movement was so large that it crumpled the sheets into a ball.

Chen Yuchuan was clearly startled by his sudden reaction. His hand holding the ointment froze in mid-air, and he frowned slightly: "Why are you so agitated just after waking up?"

Shen He turned his head and saw clearly that Chen Yuchuan was sitting on the edge of the bed, holding a bottle of ointment in his hand, and the back of his pajamas was lifted up by more than half.

"...I haven't even asked you what you've been doing here so early in the morning without saying a word? Are you trying to scare me to death?"

Shen He's voice was still hoarse from just waking up, his hair was curly, and there were red marks on his cheek from being pressed against something. When he saw Chen Yuchuan, he let his guard down, still looking a little dazed from sleep, completely different from his usual cold and aloof demeanor. Chen Yuchuan couldn't help but linger on his face, and felt a little like laughing.

Only when he saw Shen He's puzzled frown did he guiltily look away. He waved the ointment in his hand, glanced at Shen He's hand covering his back, and a hint of indescribable emotion flashed in his eyes.

The emotion was subtle, but Shenhe still caught it; it seemed like heartache, or perhaps frustration.

"I'll apply the medicine for you." Chen Yuchuan's voice was lower than usual. "I drank too much last night, and I pushed you there..."

He paused, his gaze falling on Shen He's back, his tone unusually gentle: "I bumped into your back."

Shen He was stunned for a moment.

He then remembered the stupid things Chen Yuchuan had done after drinking too much last night. He had indeed bumped his back against the door, but he didn't care at all, since it didn't hurt.

"Is it really necessary to make such a fuss over something so trivial?" Shen He released his hand from his back, his tone slightly disdainful.

"I saw it, it's bruised." Chen Yuchuan said, his eyes shifting away somewhat uncomfortably. "I'll put some medicine on it for you."

Shenhe remained silent for two seconds.

He rarely saw Chen Yuchuan in this state. It wasn't an apology or a show of weakness, but a rare gentleness that made Shen He feel awkward. He couldn't tell if it was strange or... something else entirely.

"I'm really fine," Shen He repeated, his tone relaxed. But he still warned, "Don't mess around after drinking too much next time."

Chen Yuchuan nodded without replying, but gestured for Shen He to turn around.

Shen He hesitated for a second, then sighed resignedly. He supported himself with one hand, and with the other hand, he pulled up the hem of his pajamas, letting the fabric bunch up just above his waist, revealing a clean-lined back. Then he relaxed and buried his face in the pillow.

"Hurry up and finish." Shen He's voice was muffled, with a hint of morning grumpiness.

Chen Yuchuan hummed in agreement and reached out to push the edge of his clothes up a little further.

On his pale skin was a light blue mark, with a red stain from the friction of his clothes. His back was soft yet strong, his frame was well-proportioned, and his shoulder blades moved slightly with his breath.

Chen Yuchuan stared at the bone for a few seconds, and suddenly felt a surge of dryness in his throat.

After waiting a few seconds and hearing no sound, Chen He casually asked, "What are you still standing there for?"

Chen Yuchuan held the ointment in his hand, his Adam's apple bobbed, his tongue touched the roof of his mouth, and his eyes involuntarily looked at the exposed back, unable to look away for a moment.

He clicked his tongue softly, his lips pressed tightly together, forcibly pulling his gaze away, afraid that he might reveal some inappropriate emotion.

"I'm preparing, don't rush me."

He spoke in a deliberately nonchalant tone. He squeezed out some ointment, applied it to his fingertip, and gently pressed it down.

When Chen Yuchuan's palm touched her skin again, this time Shen He was mentally prepared and it didn't feel so strange. Chen Yuchuan's hand had a bit of force, but it was also quite gentle. Shen He was a little sleepy, but this made her back quite itchy. She wanted to laugh, but felt that laughing would be too embarrassing.

The ointment clung thickly to his skin, and he felt the gentle touch of Chen Yuchuan's hand. That feeling… a strange thought suddenly popped into Shen He's mind.

It really did look like a snake crawling on his back. Cold, sticky, and carrying a faint, unsettling sense of danger.

Shenhe suddenly opened his eyes and fell into a silence that seemed to question the meaning of life.

Why am I starting to make wild connections again?

Last night, after Chen Yuchuan got drunk, he kept hugging him, holding his hand, and touching his face, which almost drove him to a nervous breakdown, and he didn't sleep well at all. That's probably why his mind wasn't clear. Shen He gave himself this reason, but thinking about Chen Yuchuan's inexplicable behavior last night, he couldn't help but ask, "What were you trying to do last night, hugging and touching me like that?"

Chen Yuchuan suddenly coughed, and stopped applying the medicine, causing all the ointment to fall onto Chen Hebei's back.

"...So be it." Chen Yuchuan's voice sounded a little guilty.

"What kind of weird fetish do you have?" Shen He turned his head and looked at Chen Yuchuan. "When you're drunk, you just have to sleep holding someone, right?"

Chen Yuchuan's eyes darted around: "That wasn't..." He stopped mid-sentence, realizing he couldn't continue the story.

Shen He stared at him: "Not what?"

"..." Chen Yuchuan was silent for two seconds, then shamelessly and self-righteously said, "We're all brothers. I'm drunk and not feeling well, so what's wrong with borrowing your body for a hug?"

Shen He was speechless and laughed.

"Fine, bro." Shen He was too lazy to argue with him anymore and lay back down on the bed. "Can you be a little quicker, bro? The ointment is practically plastering my back into a cement wall."

Chen Yuchuan chuckled, sounding quite pleased, but his movements became more nimble.

A moment later, Shen He suddenly remembered something and said with a hint of disdain, "Go have dinner with Zhou Wen later. I'll send you the address."

Chen Yuchuan paused again, and tentatively asked, "Aren't you on good terms with him? Why don't you go yourself?"

"Ugh, I don't want to go." Shen He's tone was flat, as if stating an obvious fact. "Besides, which eye of yours saw that we're getting along well?"

Chen Yuchuan opened his mouth, wanting to say that the two of you used to be very close.

But then I saw Shen He's displeased expression when he talked about Zhou Wen, his brows furrowed slightly, and his tone clearly impatient.

Chen Yuchuan suddenly found the expression inexplicably adorable. When Shen He was with him now, he felt a sense of relaxation that he himself hadn't even realized. A wave of satisfaction washed over Chen Yuchuan, and he felt inexplicably happy.

He cleared his throat and changed his tone: "I'm not familiar with Zhou Wen either. Do you expect me to go and stare at him blankly?"

Shen He lay down on the bed, his body completely relaxed: "Last night you kept calling out Zhou Wen's name, I thought you two were really close."

Chen Yuchuan scoffed lightly: "If it weren't for you, who would want to know him?"

He paused for a moment, feigning difficulty, as if he had suddenly thought of something: "How about this, I'll go with you. If he dares to say anything you don't like, I'll beat him to death for you."

As he spoke, a hint of smugness crept into his voice: "Anyway, the two of us brothers can take on one of them, so he won't get the better end of the deal."

Shen He stared at Chen Yuchuan with the eyes of someone looking at a lunatic: "Are you still drunk? All you do is talk about fighting and killing all day long."

"He woke up a long time ago." Chen Yuchuan said without changing his expression, screwing the cap on the ointment. "I'm serious, I just think he's a real jerk."

Shen He remained silent for a few seconds, then finally sighed helplessly: "Are you out of your mind?"

Even so, he still got up to wash up.

At 12:30 p.m., the two appeared on time at the restaurant entrance. Zhou Wen was already waiting there, casually scrolling through his phone, his gentle expression and every detail, from his clothes to his posture, was exquisitely perfect.

The moment he saw Chen Yuchuan, his gentle gaze froze almost imperceptibly. His smile remained unchanged, but a shadow flickered in his eyes.

“Chenhe, this way.”

Shen He walked over, and Chen Yuchuan followed behind him, his arm naturally around Shen He's shoulder in a relaxed manner, like two good buddies.

Zhou Wen glanced at Chen Yuchuan and chuckled, "I don't think I invited you, did I?"

Shenhe didn't reply.

Chen Yuchuan responded quickly, his voice low: "I live with Shen He. Wherever he goes, I go. What's it to you?"

Shenhe had no idea what he was trying to achieve by embellishing his story.

The door to the private room was pushed open by the waiter, and the people inside stood up almost impatiently.

They are the parents who drowned.

Shen He raised an eyebrow, but before he could react, his wrist was grabbed with great force, and he was pulled behind him. Chen Yuchuan stood in front of him, glaring fiercely at Zhou Wen, then looked at Shen He's parents, his voice icy:

What are you doing here?

The tone was clearly hostile and wary. Shen He paused for a second, then almost laughed.

He didn't tell Chen Yuchuan what happened back then, but it was obvious that this person had privately inquired and found out about the conflict between him and his family. This overly protective demeanor suggested he was imagining some melodramatic scenario.

Shen He felt a little touched.

"It's just a meal." He reached out and patted Chen Yuchuan on the shoulder, his tone calm.

Chen Yuchuan turned to look at him, his eyes filled with a tenderness and stubbornness that Shen He couldn't understand. Shen He felt that this was the wolf-like quality in Chen Yuchuan.

Shen He smiled at him, looked away, and casually pulled out a seat to sit down. Chen Yuchuan followed and sat down next to him, still holding Shen He's wrist.

The pressure eased a little, but the warmth and tension in Chen Yuchuan's palm were still clearly felt.

Shen He glanced down, but ultimately said nothing, letting Chen Yuchuan pull him along.

Seeing this, Shenhe's mother concealed her emotions and put on a gentle smile, saying, "Xiaohe, seeing that you and Xiaochuan are still as close as ever, I'm very happy for you."

Shenhe didn't reply.

After a few seconds of silence, she spoke again softly, her tone hesitant and tentative: "Are you... having a hard time living alone? Are you doing okay?"

Shen He chuckled softly, his laughter devoid of emotion: "Isn't it obvious? I'm doing exceptionally well, exceptionally happy."

His mother's smile became even more stiff: "As long as you're doing well, that's all that matters."

His father gave a stiff smile but remained silent.

Shen He glanced at them a few times.

He saw worry, longing, sadness, and even regret, but he didn't see the guilt he wanted to see.

Shen He found it a bit boring.

He gestured for Chen Yuchuan to release his grip, then picked up his chopsticks and said in a flat tone, "Let's eat."

The meal was eaten in silence.

Shen He picked up some food, ate his meal, and occasionally sipped his tea. The food was quite good, and he even examined a few of the side dishes he had never seen before. His parents tried to start conversations, asking him about the competition, whether training was tiring, and what his teammates were like, but Shen He's answers were very brief, basically just "um," "not bad," or "pretty good."

Gradually, even they stopped speaking.

Shen He felt his mind completely blank.

A few days ago, after seeing his parents in the replay, some inexplicable emotions kept welling up uncontrollably, interfering with his thoughts. He went back and thought a lot, wondering why they had appeared, how they were doing now, and how he should face them.

Fortunately, this meeting was much better than the one where we parted. There were no arguments, no emotional outbursts, and no harsh accusations or tears.

But the emotions in those two pairs of eyes were exactly the same as the year he left home.

Shenhe suddenly realized that some things are deeply rooted and cannot be understood at all, nor can they be changed by "emotions". Even blood ties cannot build true identity.

Over the years, he always thought he didn't care, but in fact, he just avoided it.

He remembered the game he played yesterday.

The protagonist's unwillingness to give up his past, the obsessions and pain he couldn't escape, and the relief he finally achieved after much struggle.

If a person is always trying to break free from their cocoon, they will always be bound by it; if they are always fixated on others, their heart will never find peace.

After realizing this, Shen He felt it was necessary to accept the irreversible facts of the past, and even to have some things to say to his parents.

Shen He is still certain that what happened back then was their fault.

Moreover, knowing they were wrong, they chose to avoid and cover it up, and even at the last moment, they still used "we are your parents" to cover everything up.

Shenhe does not accept this, nor does he intend to accept it in the future.

But he also realized that his approach back then was indeed too extreme.

His words were too impulsive, his attitude too harsh, pushing everyone into a corner with no way out.

But that's just how he was at that stage and in that situation, and that can't be changed.

But now, he clearly realizes that they have their own stance, and he has his own principles, so there's really no need to argue about who wins or loses anymore.

He may not approve of their approach, but he doesn't have to impose his own standards on them.

Shen He thought that perhaps today was a good time to make things clear.

It wasn't about reconciliation, compromise, or hoping for an explanation like before. He simply wanted to turn the page completely—a relief for them, and for himself.

After that, we'll each live our own lives and not disturb each other. There'll be no more cautious probing, and no more keeping each other on edge, living such a tiring life.

Chen He took a sip of tea, the warm liquid sliding down his throat.

The suffocating feeling that had been pressing on my chest for so long finally eased a bit.