Chapter 73 Do Not Miss Me (Part 2)

Lou Sanbai paused for a moment when she heard those words, then nodded to indicate that she understood. She stopped bothering Lou Erbai with questions and, as usual, picked up a small stool and sat down at the door to listen to the story.

This made Lou Erbai uncomfortable. She started hanging around Lou Sanbai more often, sometimes just staring at him as if waiting for something. But after waiting for more than half a month, Lou Sanbai still didn't say anything.

"You! You're not even going to ask me about what happened last time? You don't even have any reaction?" Lou Erbai finally couldn't hold back anymore. She angrily moved a stool and sat down next to Lou Sanbai.

What happened last time? Lou Sanbai thought hard for a moment before he suddenly realized that Lou Erbai was probably referring to the phrase "no one to see him off in his final days".

"What's there to ask? If no one's going to deliver it, then no one's going to deliver it."

Lou Sanbai was a little confused, but when she saw that Lou Erbai seemed to be angry for some reason, she quickly added.

"My life and death will not implicate anyone, how wonderful."

As a result, Lou Erbai got even angrier and ignored her for three days. But whenever Lou Sanbai passed by her room, he would hear her seemingly cursing someone.

"Look what you've done! Such a good person, and you made her life miserable from the beginning, and now she has no one to care for her in her final days. How could you be so blind?"

"Is she cursing the gods again?" Lou Sanbai shrank her neck. Actually, after living with Lou Erbai, she increasingly felt that the gods were all good-tempered, because Lou Erbai would curse them when she was in a bad mood. She also told her that this was how it should be, to curse these guys for how bad the fate they wrote for you was, to shout it out loud, to question them, to make a scene, to throw a tantrum.

Lou Sanbai thought, it's not really that bad. Although the gods made her early life difficult and she died alone, they gave her happiness now, isn't that enough? She's already content.

But she didn't tell Lou Erbai these things, because her intuition told her that the man would be even angrier.

It's the fourth day, and Lou Erbai still ignores her, locking himself in his room and refusing to come out for meals.

Lou Sanbai felt very wronged. She didn't understand what Lou Erbai was angry about, and she didn't even know how to apologize. But she remembered what her mother had told her: she should be more tolerant of those younger than her, coax them, and be more submissive.

So that night, she knocked on Lou Erbai's door, and as expected, she didn't hear "come in," but she still pushed the door open and went in.

She sat down in the dark on the edge of Lou Erbai's bed, patted Lou Erbai's shoulder and asked her.

"Erbai, Erbai. You said I'm older than you, so why did you name me Sanbai? Can you change my name to Yibai?"

At first, no one responded to her. Lou Sanbai waited and waited, until she was sleepy, when she suddenly felt the person under her move. A muffled voice came from under the covers and said.

"No, because Lou Yibai has passed away. She... was my friend, just like you."

That night, Lou Erbai finally told her story, saying that she was actually from the Southern Qi Dynasty.

Lou Erbai was found by Lou Yibai when he was a child, but actually they were both just little kids at the time, so it's not really a matter of one finding the other. It's just that Lou Erbai didn't have a name at the time, so Lou Yibai said, "Okay, then, your name is Lou Erbai!"

Later, Lou Yibai fell seriously ill, and no one could cure her. Lou Erbai took her to a place called "Qingluan Medicine Valley" to seek medical treatment, but Lou Yibai died as soon as they arrived there.

Lou Erbai said that she was cursing the gods at that time.

"How did you curse?" Lou Sanbai asked curiously.

"It seems like I was cursing God as shit, but that was so long ago, I've forgotten."

Lou Erbai said that she suddenly seemed to think of something and laughed.

“I remember now. Actually, I came here at first because I heard from others that there were the most gods here. I came here in a huff to curse them. I thought that I could curse a lot of gods here.”

"But I don't know when it started, but as I was cursing, I could hear someone talking in my ear. Saying, stop cursing, stop cursing, it's really not our fault."

"Then, I don't know when, it seems that people found out about me talking to the sky. They came to me in droves, saying that I was a sorceress and that I could solve their troubles."

She was so much like her. Lou Yibai picked up Lou Erbai, and Lou Erbai picked up Lou Sanbai. Lou Sanbai thought about it, found it amusing, and burst out laughing. She suddenly remembered her business and quickly asked.

"So you're not angry anymore? Don't be angry with me."

"At first I was angry that you said something like 'burdening others.' How could you say that? It's not a good thing that you haven't burdened anyone. Sometimes, you have to burden others to survive."

Lou Erbai deflated like a punctured balloon, staring at her listlessly.

"Later I got angry. I was angry that no matter how much I cursed those gods, they insisted that it was no use and that I was destined to die alone."

"It's okay, it's okay. I won't say it anymore, I won't say it again, I'll only drag you down with me in the future."

Lou Sanbai quickly spoke. Although she didn't understand some of what Lou Erbai was saying, she had to go along with what he said at this point.

Then she saw Lou Erbai smile. She smiled happily, holding Lou Sanbai's hand in the darkness, revealing a set of white teeth with satisfaction.

...

The reign title at that time was still Zhenping, and the late emperor was still alive. Every year, she would come to the Kingdom of Thousand Buddhas for two months just to accompany the Princess. When she heard about the sorceress, she summoned Lou Erbai.

Lou Sanbai was on tenterhooks all day. She waited from morning till night until Lou Erbai came out of Yongfo Temple completely safe and sound before she could finally breathe a sigh of relief.

"What did His Majesty ask you?" Lou Sanbai asked on the way back.

"It's the same old problem, nothing special, even the Emperor is the same." Lou Erbai snorted disdainfully.

"Birth, aging, sickness, and death are nothing more than these."

"Then, did you tell His Majesty?" Lou Sanbai asked curiously, because Lou Erbai usually wouldn't answer such questions; she would only answer trivial matters.

"I don't know, the gods won't tell me," Lou Erbai shrugged.

"But the gods told me that the princess might face a calamity in her life. His Majesty seemed very distressed. He said that the abbot of Yongfo Temple had also told her the same thing."

His Majesty really dotes on the Eldest Princess. On the third day after that incident, the construction of the Duobao Hall began in earnest.

Lou Sanbai asked Lou Erbai if it was her idea that he gave to His Majesty.

Lou Erbai glared at her angrily and said, "How could that be? This was a terrible idea from the abbot of Yongfo Temple." She clearly told His Majesty that there was no need to worry about it, that everyone has their own destiny, and that Princess Chang should just live her life well.

That magnificent tower took many, many years to build.

But Lou Sanbai only remembered that many, many people died.

Some of them died from exhaustion, while others accidentally fell from the tower and died. Lou Sanbai heard that Her Highness the Princess had tried to dissuade the Emperor from continuing the construction, but His Majesty refused to listen and remained stubborn.

One winter day, Lou Sanbai felt it was too cold and didn't want to get up early. But in her hazy state, she heard the cry of a baby, a cry as if it were bleeding blood, heartbreaking to hear.

Lou Sanbai quickly got up, pushed open the door, and found a basket by the door containing a crying toddler who couldn't speak yet. There was no one around, only a trail of footprints.

She quickly took the child into her arms and patted her back.

Lou Erbai appeared out of nowhere. She reached out and rummaged through the basket containing the child. Sure enough, there was a letter inside.

“The child’s mother fell to her death while repairing the Duobao Hall. I am all alone and unable to raise this daughter. I humbly request that you take her in as your goddaughter and give her a place to live.”

“The child’s father is no good either. If he was truly unable to raise the child, why did he just abandon him and run away? He clearly thought the child was a burden. If the two of us hadn’t heard the crying, the child would have frozen to death.”

Lou Erbai cursed. But soon, she fell silent, looking at the child in Lou Sanbai's arms without saying a word. After a long while, she suddenly spoke.

"Lou Sanbai, shall we take care of her?"

"Raise?" Lou Sanbai was somewhat dazed when she heard these two words. She looked at the wrinkled child in her arms. How small the child was, only as long as her arm, yet it felt as heavy as a thousand pounds.

“Yes, this is your child,” Lou Erbai said.

Lou Sanbai was puzzled and asked.

"Why is it mine? Why isn't it yours?"

"Wouldn't that mean you'd have someone to take care of you when you die?"

Lou Erbai clapped her hands and laughed, her eyes shining brightly, as if...

"Oh dear, how come I didn't think of that before... Lou Sanbai, this is your daughter! She was given to you by the gods!"

Lou Sanbai then realized that Lou Erbai's anger at that moment was more fear than anger.

Lou Erbai felt that she was without a rope in the human world, like a blade of grass swaying in the wind, ready to leave at any moment. So, she insisted on finding her a rope, a small life, wanting to firmly tie her to the human world.

...

"...and so we had a long period of good days. We named the child Yuefeng, Lou Yuefeng. Isn't that nice? We can't call him anything like 'one, two, three' anymore."

Lou Sanbai looked at Lin Chengye.

Lin Chengye still looked preoccupied. Although she was sitting at the stone table, her brows were furrowed, probably still worried about the vermin.

Lou Sanbai narrowed her eyes, as if she were immersed in the wind of that time, when the gods and fate were quite lenient towards her.

"But everything changed the following year, the year after Zhenping 49, which was the winter of the first year of Yongjing. Because..."

Lou Sanbai paused for a moment, then said.

"The ghost disease has appeared."

...

In the first year of Yongjing, Lou Erbai's health suddenly deteriorated; she was in pain all over, but no doctor knew the cause. Lou Sanbai had intended to take her to the Qingluan Medicine Valley, which she had mentioned before, but he heard that the place was gone, apparently because the entire family had been wiped out.

Lou Sanbai could only carry Yuefeng on her back and visit famous doctors around the Thousand Buddha Kingdom. She dared not go too far because Lou Erbai still needed her to take care of him.

I remember one day just as dawn broke, Lou Erbai suddenly started shouting loudly, repeatedly calling out the name Lou Sanbai. He called her to his bedside and mysteriously slipped a piece of paper into her hand.

Lou Erbai said that during the day, one should memorize the words on the document, and at night, one should do as instructed.

But this time, she didn't listen to Lou Erbai.

...

"She died that night. She was the first person to die like that, and after that, no one dared to enter our house again."

Lou Sanbai said. She was still smiling as she spoke.

But Lin Chengye couldn't laugh at all. Looking at Lou Sanbai's smiling face, she felt that behind that smile were countless crying faces, crying hundreds of times, until now, when Lou Sanbai's hair was gray, he could finally laugh and talk about it.

“It’s strange. Ever since Lou Erbai died, I feel like I can hear the gods talking. It’s just vague and indistinct, like they’re swirling around in my ears. So, I always smile, just like Lou Erbai said, so that the gods won’t look down on me.”

Lou Sanbai looked at Lin Chengye, and as she looked, tears welled up in her eyes, and her voice trembled.

"You're right, I do know the first girl you brought back."

“That’s my daughter, Yuefeng.”

Lin Chengye opened her mouth, wanting to comfort the person in front of her. But she couldn't utter a single word. Everything seemed so pale and insignificant in the face of fate's mockery.

Everything Lou Sanbai possessed was taken away by the ghost disease; in an instant, she had nothing left. It was as if fate had spent its entire life playing a cruel joke on Lou Sanbai, and only now, as the curtain was about to fall, was it finally letting her go.

“I have to tell Lou Erbai that she still couldn’t outwit the gods. Yuefeng is dead, and I’m destined to die alone.”

Lou Sanbai's trembling hand took out a piece of paper from her bosom. The paper was already very old and worn, as if it would crumble at the slightest touch. She handed it to Lin Chengye and said...

"I didn't listen to Lou Erbai, but you, you must listen to him."

Lin Chengye unfolded the paper, on which was written.

"I feel like I'm being eaten by insects; I'll surely die tonight."

You should stay by my side and wait until that thing breaks through my body before stabbing me with a dagger. Do not let the insect escape.

Remember not to feel pity, only then can I die in peace.

Sanbai, don't worry about me.

Author's note: Actually, Lou Erbai appeared before; I wonder if anyone noticed (?).