Chapter 48: Legend of Bread Knight [VIP]

594.

The next morning, Alfred came in with breakfast and looked at the group of people in the Batcave.

Dick, trying to split a steak with a baguette.

Jason, adding a piece of cheese to his hot dog.

I was gracefully arranging prosciutto on a plate and practicing my knife skills.

Tim, stirring his Coke in his coffee cup with a sacred ritual.

Stephanie, seriously drawing a staff on a bag of hot sauce.

Kashan was using a watermelon to block the potatoes thrown by Barbara.

Barbara was throwing potatoes at the watermelon that Kasan was holding.

Damian was eating a vegetable salad with carrots.

Alfred: “…”

Alfred sighed and whispered—

"...You guys went crazy again last night?"

595.

Facing Ah Fu's calm smile, Tim began to recall the extremely chaotic night last night.

It all started with Jason's baguette.

At that time, he suddenly thought that he should try different European food again, and then he found that the baguette was just like the first time he ate it, which was beyond the tolerance of American teeth, so he put it on the table and ignored it.

Then, Dick came.

Dick felt that the hardness of this baguette was comparable to that of some kind of melee weapon, so he suddenly had an idea and found a large loaf of bread from the refrigerator in the kitchen.

We didn't know what he was trying to do.

Until that night, Dick stood in front of us, holding an indestructible loaf of bread in his left hand and a baguette as hard as steel in his right hand, and solemnly announced:

"I now possess the strongest spear, capable of piercing all defenses in the world; I also possess the strongest shield, capable of withstanding all attacks in the world."

Then, he looked around at everyone present and asked seriously—

"Would you like to buy one too?"

…

Dick Everyday Dick.

I endured it.

596.

At 1:52 in the morning, I was sleeping soundly in bed when I suddenly felt something poking my quilt.

I opened my eyes drowsily, and saw Dick standing in front of my bed with a holy (??) smile on his face, holding bread in his left hand and a baguette in his right hand, looking at me sincerely.

"Tibao!" he whispered. "I am the Knight of the Hundred Packs, and my journey is about to begin! Will you join us and become my loyal companion?"

I squinted my eyes and tried to clear my mind.

"…Are you sick?"

Dick remained unfazed and shook his head firmly: "It's this world that's sick, and I'm the knight who came to save it!"

I:"……"

I don't have a care in the world, I just want to sleep.

597.

Two:01 in the morning.

I couldn't understand why they had to go crazy at the door of my room.

Jason took out two guns from somewhere, put them on his belt, leaned against the door with a piece of cheese in his mouth, and looked at us with a nonchalant look on his face.

"Knight of the Hundred Bags," he began, "Are you in need of a cheese gunner with unmatched marksmanship?"

Dick's eyes lit up, "Of course! Hundred Pack Superman needs the strongest partner, and you're the legendary Cheese Gunner!"

Jason nodded and chuckled, "I'm in."

Then he pulled out a gun, fired a gunshot, and grabbed a piece of cheese with his other hand and took a big bite.

…

I can't stand it anymore.

I huddled into the quilt, thinking viciously: Damn it, you've pissed me off!

598.

Two minutes to five in the morning.

“Hahahahahaha!”

I could almost hear Leona's laughter close by.

"Then I want to be the best ham swordsman in the world! I'll be a perfect match with you guys!"

Dick nodded solemnly: "That's right! The Ham Swordsman, the Hundred Bag Knight, and the Cheese Gunner, the two of us are an invincible combination!"

Jason snorted softly, "That sounds reasonable."

Then, the two of them looked at each other, hit it off, and officially formed a team!

All this happened in Tim's room. He got up and worked for a while, staring at the ceiling as their lively music played in the background, thinking expressionlessly:

Oh no, the virus has started to spread.

599.

2:10 in the morning.

Stephanie excitedly brought Cassandra to join the rescue team. She was the hot sauce wizard and Cassandra was the watermelon warrior.

Barbara was woken up by them, opened the door and was about to talk to them, but after listening to their story, she happily joined in.

She calls herself a potato archer.

This family is beyond saving.

600.

Two twelve in the morning.

Damian said that this was an extremely stupid game and very childish, but he proudly decided to join the team and said that he was the Carrot Assassin.

Oh my god, are there really no normal people left in this world? My king?

"The devil is Bruce. He is the devil of baked lobsters with cheese, all baked lobsters with cheese in this world. I asked him yesterday what to say indignantly.

What a strange and unpleasant way to take away your only remaining five dollars, Dick.

Don't come to me crying poor when the time comes. I won't pay anyone who doesn't work for me, not even Gotham's golden boy.

Golden boy.

Otherwise I will never agree!

Two minutes later, the brave team that gathered in my room left holding cheese, bread, potatoes, carrots, hot sauce, watermelon, and ham. Before leaving, the ham swordsman told me that they were going to the library to make a plan, and if I changed my mind, I could go find them there.

Only a fool would play this game with them.

…

Time passed minute by minute, I looked at the documents that I had not touched at all, sighed, closed my laptop, and slowly stood up.

He walked to the window and looked at the night outside with a deep gaze and a complicated expression.

"T, ranged physical dps, melee dps, magic... you're still missing a healer."

"Well, this family really can't do without me. I, Pastor Coke, will join your team and lend you a hand."

601.

"So, something so interesting happened last night, but you didn't call me?!" Guan Luo widened his eyes, lying on the dining table and swinging his tentacles with a snapping sound.

"Because it was already past two in the middle of the night, I kindly went to check and saw you sleeping soundly in the pool." I shrugged.

"The Demon King won't wait until the hero wakes up his sleeping teammates before he starts destroying the world." Dick shook his head.

Tim sipped his Coke. "Besides, we couldn't bear to wake you up from such a deep sleep."

Guan Luo proudly crossed his tentacles until they were knotted, "I don't care, I want to join! You can't abandon me, the strongest alien warrior!"

"So... you're going to call the Starfish Warrior?" Stephanie blinked.

Aren’t we all named after food? Or, Steve, you…don’t treat cans as food?!

"No, no, no!" Guan Luo said excitedly, "I'm Tomato Ranger, a part-time bard! How can the brave rescue team be without someone to record their legend and spread the story? Let me complete such a difficult task!"

"Great!" We applauded loudly.

602.

"Tomato Ranger, I grew up listening to your stories!" I said with a smile.

"Tell me another story, the one about you choosing Bruce over everyone else!" Stephanie cheered.

"Wow, this sounds great!" Dick's eyes lit up and he poked the little starfish's left hand.

"Tell one! Tell one! Tell one!" Everyone's voice gradually became unified and loud.

Under everyone's flattery, the little starfish shyly turned away her eyes and twisted her body shyly, "Since everyone is looking forward to it so much..."

"Oh oh oh--!" Jason screamed and clapped his hands. He pushed out five pieces of clothes that were very suitable for Guan Luo to wear.

No, why do you have clothes that Guan Luo can wear? Why do you carry them with you? You didn't make these yourself, did you?

Kashan used extremely skillful techniques to carve a watermelon into a stage. We watched as Guan Luo changed into a suit in a split second, even adjusting his bow tie with great care. Then, he walked onto the stage with extremely graceful and dignified steps.

"Thank you, thank you all for your support!" Guan Luo waved to everyone around him.

603.

A burst of powerful music sounded.

I turned my head to look in the direction of the music.

Tim pushed over a small speaker and Barbara handed Guan Luo a small microphone.

Dick thought for a moment and took out a pair of sunglasses with only one frame. Stephanie gave him a small chair made of bags, and I made him a small harp by hand on the spot.

Damian looked at his sisters, then at his brothers, who, unwilling to be left behind, carved a gallery out of carrots. The audience, with their various expressions, looked particularly lively.

Come on, Guan Luo! You can definitely become the champion of the "Tell Me the Story of Batman and Me" contest!

Although you are the only participant in this competition.

But who cares, you can definitely become the champion!

604.

Can Luo stood on the watermelon stage carved by Cassandra, wearing a mini suit that Jason had conjured up from nowhere. One tentacle held the sunglasses given by Dick, and the other tentacle gently plucked the small harp I had just made. The whole starfish exuded the confidence of "I am the most handsome guy in Gotham tonight."

We all sat around the audience seat that Damian had carved out of a carrot, looking at it with anticipation.

Tim adjusted the sound system, Barbara handed over the microphone, and Stephanie clapped excitedly: "Yeah!"

"Ahem." Guan Luo coughed twice, cleared his throat gracefully, and spoke slowly -

"It was a stormy night."

"I, a fragment of what once was the great Starro, drifting in this vast ocean of the universe."

"The whispers of countless stars echoed in my ears. Should I inherit Starro's legacy and conquer the world? I felt extremely confused, and my future seemed hazy... At this moment, the gears of fate began to turn quietly..."

"I met my electricity, my light, my only myth——"

Everyone held their breath.

"A man clad in darkness, with eyes as sharp as knives, stretched out his hand to me!"

"His cloak billowed in the wind, his voice was deep and magnetic!"

"He lifted me up, he brought me back. His figure in the silent universe seemed like the incarnation of the Creator!"

"He is! - Batman! My salvation, my faith! My dad!"

Everyone: “…”

605.

After five seconds of silence, Jason was the first to lose his temper.

He covered his face, his shoulders shaking wildly: "Hahahahahahaha! God, what kind of chuunibyou literature is this?"

Dick fell back in laughter. "A stormy night... the gears of fate... Hahahahaha, why is the story of your meeting always different?"

Tim propped up his face with one hand. "I remember he said last time that Batman saved him from being torn apart on the battlefield. The time before that, he said Batman found him wandering around in the depths of the Pacific Ocean. And the time before that, Batman used his love to change him after he was brainwashed by the villain..."

"Oh my god, is there even a standard version of this story?" Stephanie poked Guan Luo's head with a finger (?).

Barbara held her forehead and said helplessly: "Can Luo, do you think Bruce is the Gotham version of the Knight King?"

Guan Luo held his head in his hands and took small steps away from Stephanie, twisting his tentacles proudly. "Isn't that him?! He is a lone figure in the darkness, a guardian under the night sky. He carries the hope and despair of this city! He is - Batman!"

us:"……"

Damian nodded appreciatively and said condescendingly, "You're quite good."

Guan Luo: "You too, bro!"

606.

Guan Luo quickly forgot our complaints.

It excitedly began the second story: "I always thought that Batman was a cold and ruthless warrior. He didn't need emotions, partners, or help! He would only fight evil alone until the last moment... until I came to this house!"

"I've witnessed the glory of the Hundred Bag Knight! The precision of the Cheese Gunner! The sharpness of the Ham Swordsman! The carrot assassin's... carrots!"

Damian: "??? Say it again???"

"Here, I learned what family is, what bonds are, and what... love is!"

Guan Luo was so moved that he covered his only large eye and said passionately, "I finally understand. Dad isn't cold-hearted, he just can't express it! He actually loves you guys so much!!"

Everyone: “…”

Dick laughed like crazy: "I'm afraid Bruce would prefer that your impression of him remain at the first stage, hahahaha!"

"Bruce has studied the art of language for many years. He can't stand hearing people say that he can't express himself." I winked at Guan Luo.

"Does he know that your filter for him is eight thousand meters thick..." Tim complained silently.

"Of course he knows!" said Can Luo firmly, "and I'm his favorite Robin!"

"You're not!!!" Damian, Tim, Jason, and Dick said in unison.

"I am!!!" Guan Luo swung his tentacles without giving in. "Dad said I was his 'favorite Robin'! He said that! I can swear!"

Everyone looked at Bruce with distorted expressions.

Bruce looked expressionless, but everyone could see his blue eyes trembling.

Then, he took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and calmly told the truth—

"...I was trying to shut you up."

607.

Everyone breathed a sigh of relief.

Dick wiped the nonexistent sweat from his forehead. "I was wondering how you could be Batman's favorite Robin? Bruce and I are known as the Dynamic Duo! All of Gotham, no, the whole world knows we're the best duo!"

Xiao Ba suppressed a laugh: "But the world's best duo is Batman and Superman?"

Dick yelled in dissatisfaction, "Hey!"

Jason slammed the table and said, "So you're not Batman's favorite Robin at all. You're just a starfish who talks too much!"

Tim held his forehead and said, "Bruce actually used the same method of coaxing a child to deal with you, Luo. How long have you been bothering him in the Batcave?"

Guan Luo's eyes widened in shock: "...So he's not serious???"

Bruce: “…”

Bruce didn't want to answer. Bruce wanted to throw the starfish back into the ocean.

608.

In the end, it was Barbara who gently patted Guan Luo's tentacles and comforted him, "Okay, okay, don't be sad, you are still a member of the Bat family."

"That's right!" Dick picked him up with a grin, "Although you're not Batman's favorite Robin, you're our favorite Starfish!"

Jason crossed his arms and snorted softly, "You might be noisy, but you're cuter than some of those demon cubs."

Damian gave him a cold look. "Who are you talking about?"

Jason said lazily, "You."

…

…

Five seconds later, the sounds of Damian and Jason fighting could be heard from the training room in the Batcave.

Guan Luo looked at this scene, shook his head, and sighed with emotion——

“Ah, this is what home feels like.”