Chapter 12

After Xu Gui stood up, he grabbed his fortune-telling banner and ran towards the old man across the street.

"Old man, may I borrow your pen and ink?"

She slammed her fortune-telling banner onto the old man's table, took the brush he had placed there, dipped it in ink, and began writing on the banner.

The old man curiously leaned over to see what she was writing, leaning his body towards her. The person filming also pointed the camera at her, only to be met with a disdainful glance from the old man.

Under the watchful eyes of tens of thousands of people in the live broadcast room, Xu Guilong wrote two large characters on the fortune-telling banner with a flourish.

"Science." The old man pronounced the words she wrote down slowly and deliberately, then praised her, "I didn't realize you had such beautiful handwriting... But why did you write those two words?"

Xu Gui raised the fortune-telling banner.

Originally, the words "fortune telling" were written vertically on her fortune telling banner, but now she has added the words "science" horizontally. So now, when you look at the fortune telling banner, you see "science" horizontally and "fortune telling" vertically.

Xu Gui looked smugly at the paparazzi and said, "You said I was practicing fortune-telling and superstition, right? Well, look now! This is science now!"

The photographer fell silent.

Xu Gui said, "Now you can't say I'm promoting feudal superstition and that it doesn't fit the program's purpose, right? Hmph, with my two big sciences, who dares to say I'm not scientific enough?"

At this moment, the production crew is backstage.

"She's clearly exploiting a loophole!" the show's director exclaimed angrily. "Does she think that by writing the word 'science' on it, her fortune-telling will become truly scientific?"

The others comforted him, saying, "Director, don't be angry, don't be angry..."

Some people said, "Why don't we just let it go? I think Xu Gui has been quite sincere. Don't push her too far. What if she really refuses to record?"

The director snapped again, "She dares!"

As soon as he finished speaking, Xu Guiyu said threateningly, "If this doesn't work, I'll find a broken bowl and beg for food right now! Humph, begging has been a profession since ancient times, so don't say that this profession is not acceptable."

Through the camera, it was as if Xu Gui was having a conversation with the director from a distance, and the crew fell silent.

"...Actually, I think fortune telling is pretty good. Haven't some people said that fortune telling is actually psychology, right?"

"Yes, yes, look how popular astrology is among young people these days! There are tons of people giving astrological readings and tarot card readings. At least Xu Gui is promoting a national treasure!"

"That makes sense. Fortune telling is a unique cultural tradition in our country. It would be good to promote it. Besides, Xu Gui also wrote about science, which is very scientific!"

Director: "..." I'm just listening to your nonsense.

but……

"What you're saying makes some sense," the director said rather reluctantly. "So, let's just let her continue like this, scientifically?"

Speaking of science, even the director's lips twitched, but he couldn't really make Xu Gui beg for food, could he? This guy seemed capable of actually doing that.

The director has a headache.

...

"...The director told me to tell you, 'I'm scared of her, let her do whatever she wants,' that's what he said."

The photographer followed Xu Gui and relayed the director's message.

Xu Gui listened to the repeated "she, oh she," and after two seconds understood what it meant. He immediately raised his head, satisfied.

"I already told you, fortune telling is my specialty!" she muttered, thanked the old man, and took the fortune-telling banner home.

"Wait!" the old man suddenly called out to her, "I just remembered I haven't asked you your name yet!"

Xu Gui was taken aback: "Didn't I say that?"

The old man nodded firmly: "He didn't say."

“…Maybe I forgot,” Xu Gui said, then introduced himself to the old man: “My name is Xu Gui, and as you can see, I’m a fortune teller!”

The old man finally knew her name, and then muttered to himself: "Among the people I know, is there anyone with the surname Xu? Could she be the granddaughter of the Xu family?"

The old man looked up and introduced himself: "My surname is Lu, you can just call me Grandpa Lu."

"I understand," Xu Gui said, carrying her fortune-telling banner as she prepared to go back. She thanked the old man, saying, "Old man, thank you for your pen and ink."

Old man: "...I already told you to call me Grandpa Lu."

*

Xu Gui returned to his stall, then placed his signboard—the fortune-telling banner—steadily to the side, and began to wait for customers to come to him.

However, in their line of work, customers are all about chance, so after sitting for a long time without seeing any customers, she simply lay on the table and played on her phone.

Having just come of age and only recently started using a mobile phone, Gui was already showing signs of becoming an internet addict. She found mobile phones incredibly fun and could play with them all night long. Unfortunately, she was human now; if she were still Gui, she could play for ten days and ten nights without rest.

Xu Gui sighed regretfully.

Next, everyone watched as she sat playing on her phone, then moved to her left side, then to her right side...

Comments: [Look at how many different poses she's taken in just one hour! It's like I'm hallucinating myself when I'm on my phone!]

That feels so familiar.

She spent almost the entire morning playing on her phone. Because the content was boring, many people left the live stream. After all, who wants to watch someone play on their phone on live stream?

However, before lunch, Xu Gui finally had a guest.

"Master, I think my whole family is possessed by evil spirits!" the visitor said as soon as he sat down, his tone heavy.

Xu Gui looked up at him, and when her gaze fell upon his pale, bluish face, her expression turned serious, and then…

"...Scan the QR code to pay first." She handed the payment QR code to the other party to avoid them skipping out on the payment.

The other person obediently took out their phone and asked, "How much?"

Xu Gui held up five fingers.

"Five thousand?" The customer gasped. "Why is it so expensive?"

Xu Gui's eyes widened as he turned to look at his fingers: "Huh? Are my fingers really that valuable? A single finger is worth a thousand?"

She clearly said around five hundred.

She looked at the guest in front of her and said, "Guest, you have a good eye!" You recognized the turtle's considerable value at a glance.

Customer: ??? Although I don't understand, I'll just take it as a compliment.

The customer obediently scanned the code to pay, and when Xu Gui heard the sound of five thousand yuan being deposited into her account, she felt that she had never been so generous. She was now incredibly wealthy, practically the richest woman in the world.

"May I ask your name?"

"My surname is Li..."

"Okay, Mr. Li, what would you like to have calculated?" Xu Gui asked patiently. "Are you asking about your safety? You look pale..."

"No!" Mr. Li interrupted her, speaking clearly and distinctly, "I want you, Master, to exorcise the evil spirits from me!"

Xu Gui blinked and earnestly advised, "...Mr. Li, this is feudal superstition, it's unacceptable. You'll be easily deceived if you do this!"

"..." A question mark slowly appeared on Mr. Li's forehead. He looked at Xu Gui and asked slowly, "If I weren't superstitious, why would I be looking for you?"

Xu Gui tentatively asked, "...So you have good taste?"

Mr. Li: "..."

Mr. Li laughed, but it was unclear whether he was angered by Xu Gui or amused by her.

"Master, you're not joking with me." He said, each word distinct and laced with a hint of gritted teeth, "I've come here genuinely to have you exorcise the evil spirit!"

“Alright…” Xu Gui relented and decided to hear what had happened, so he said, “Mr. Li, why do you think you are possessed by an evil spirit?”

Mr. Li's expression turned serious, and he slowly said, "It all started a week ago..."

Just a week ago, Mr. Li's family was a happy and harmonious family, but in the middle of this week, problems arose.

"First my mom started having nightmares, then she had diarrhea and vomiting, and then my dad..."

Finally, Mr. Li and his wife also started experiencing problems; they both had nightmares while sleeping, followed by vomiting and diarrhea.

At first, they suspected that the family members might be sick, but what kind of illness could cause them to fall ill one after another, almost at the same time?

“My wife went to the hospital for a checkup, and the doctor said it was probably food poisoning and prescribed her some medicine. When she got home, we threw everything out of the refrigerator and bought new things. We didn’t even dare to eat snacks…”

"I can guarantee that everything we ate this time was absolutely fresh and clean, but no one in our family has improved. We still have nightmares day and night, and we still vomit and have diarrhea!"

Mr. Li became more and more agitated as he spoke, "Tell me, what else could our family be but possessed by evil spirits?"

Looking at Mr. Li's greenish complexion, Xu Gui finally understood why he looked so bad. He had been having nightmares, vomiting, and diarrhea. It was no wonder he looked so pale.

Mr. Li swore: "Our family is absolutely possessed!"

Xu Gui couldn't help but ask, "...So, is it possible that your whole family has been poisoned?"

"Poisoning?" Mr. Li hesitated for a moment, then shook his head firmly and said, "That's impossible. Our family hasn't eaten out all week. We've been cooking for each other in turns. How could there be poison? As for food poisoning, that's even more impossible. We've replaced everything in our refrigerator. The food is absolutely fresh. There's no way we could get food poisoning."

Xu Gui: "Uh, what if the poison was put in your rice jar?"

Mr. Li slowly widened his eyes—he had never considered this possibility.

"Then, who is the person who poisoned us? Why would he want to harm our family? What deep-seated hatred do we have for him that would make him do this to us?" Mr. Li was very agitated.

Xu Gui: "..."

Xu Gui paused for a few seconds and then said, "Is it possible that this person is your mother?"

Amidst Mr. Li's numerous questions, Xu Gui slowly said, "...Your mother sprinkled pesticides into the rice jar, and your family ate rice with pesticides every day. How could your family not vomit and have diarrhea?"

Mr. Li chuckled and then said, "...Master, you must be joking?"

Xu Gui replied, "No, this is the whole truth about your family being possessed by evil spirits!"

After saying that, she kindly reminded him, "Mr. Li, if you don't believe me, you can call and ask your mother if this is true."

After a half-minute silence, Mr. Li took out his phone and silently dialed a number.

"...Hello, Anzi." A weak voice came from Mr. Li's elderly mother on the phone. She asked, "Have you found a master to exorcise the evil spirits from our house?"

The elderly mother declared with unwavering conviction: "Our family is definitely possessed by evil spirits. Only a master can exorcise them and save us!"

This demeanor was quite similar to Mr. Li's certainty when he told Xu Gui earlier that his family was possessed by evil spirits.

Mr. Li glanced at Xu Gui, then turned away and spoke quietly to his mother.

"...Mom, did you spray pesticide in the rice jar before?" he asked.

"..."

The elderly mother on the other end of the phone suddenly fell silent.

Mr. Li, sensing the silence: ?

Then, Mr. Li, suddenly realizing something: ? ? !!! !!!

Watching this scene, Xu Gui couldn't help but sigh, "An adult's breakdown can really happen in just a moment!"