Chapter 151 The Train Heads North "Shengping, I won't be going back."...

At one o'clock in the morning, he finally got through to Jiang Yueming on the phone.

The call log was overflowing with unanswered calls. The surroundings were pitch black, with only a single nightlight on. Li Leshan's eyes were red-rimmed. After a two-second flash, Jiang Yueming's face finally appeared on the other end.

He didn't look well either; his eyes were red, even worse than Li Leshan's. Perhaps he had already received news of Xiaobai's departure, or perhaps there was something else.

There was a silent tension in the air. The two people looked at each other across the screen, neither of them speaking first.

After a while, Li Leshan suddenly seemed to come to his senses. He reacted and quickly took the card out of his pocket.

The bank card appeared on the screen without warning, and Jiang Yueming was stunned at a glance.

"All these years, you've been sending money to Li Yong." Li Leshan's tears fell again, appearing especially clear on the screen.

Jiang Yueming choked up, realizing that he couldn't keep it a secret any longer; Li Leshan had found out.

“Yes…” Jiang Yueming began, his voice slightly hoarse.

Li Leshan was stunned. His hands trembled uncontrollably, and he was so agitated that he could barely use sign language. "Why...why did you do this? Why did you do these things?!"

Jiang Yueming looked at him, a dull pain flashing in her eyes. He forced a very faint, extremely bitter smile onto his lips. "Why can't I do it?"

Before Jiang Yueming could speak, Li Leshan continued gesturing. He almost begged Jiang Yueming to tell him, because he still couldn't believe it. He wanted Jiang Yueming to tell him herself, "Li Yong said you had a knife... Is he lying to me?"

He looked at Jiang Yueming's expressionless face and suddenly smiled, accompanied by a soft chuckle that reached Li Leshan's ears.

"So what?" Jiang Yueming said in a low voice.

Li Leshan felt a sudden darkness before his eyes and a severe headache.

So what?

So what...?

What the hell do you mean, "whatever"?! That's a knife; you'll die if you stab someone!

"Are you crazy! Are you fucking crazy?!" Li Leshan frowned deeply. He felt like he was going crazy too. To be honest, he really couldn't understand the situation. His tinnitus was severe, his vision was blurry, and all he could feel was his heart pounding as if it was going to jump out of his chest.

"Am I crazy?!" Jiang Yueming seemed to be completely ignited by these words. He leaned closer to the camera, his eyes red and seemingly brimming with tears. "What can I do? Tell me what the hell I can do! Do you want to see that bastard drive you to the point of wanting to die? If I don't stab myself, am I supposed to stab him? Am I supposed to become a murderer? I have no choice!"

Jiang Yueming has never regretted his choice to this day. He would do anything to make Li Yong give up completely and stop harassing Li Leshan. He has no regrets! He never expected that Li Yong would find out about this, but he still doesn't regret it because it was the best solution he could think of at the time. He was seventeen years old then; what good solutions could he possibly come up with?

"Are you blaming me now?" Jiang Yueming gritted his teeth, his face contorted in pain. He didn't ask Li Leshan to understand him, nor did he ask for Li Leshan's pity. He accepted everything he had done. But Li Leshan only thought he was crazy. Well, then he was crazy. Was he satisfied?!

"Haven't I been good enough to you!" Jiang Yueming's voice trembled uncontrollably. He had already done more than enough, what more could he possibly want?

Li Leshan was completely stunned. He opened his mouth, his heart aching as if it were shattering. He had never heard these words from Jiang Yueming before, and the shock was too great. For a moment, he forgot what to say or do.

Only tears flowed uncontrollably.

“You…you can tell me. You can…” Li Leshan felt as if his heart was being tightly gripped by an invisible hand, the pain making it almost impossible for him to breathe.

"I can't!" Jiang Yueming interrupted him before he could finish signing, his voice trembling with tears, "The day before you cried and said you wanted to die, how am I supposed to tell you that..."

Li Leshan could barely hear what he said after that, but he could hear suppressed sobbing. He didn't know if it was his own or Jiang Yueming's. At that moment, a bitter feeling welled up in his stomach and heart, making him almost unable to stop himself from vomiting.

Yes, there's no way to say it. He wanted to die the day before; he told Jiang Yueming he didn't want to live anymore. What could Jiang Yueming say? He couldn't say anything.

A long silence followed, an eternity of time. The entire world remained silent for a while. Finally, Jiang Yueming's voice came from the other end of the screen, weary and filled with an indescribable emotion. He took a deep breath, his words barely audible, "Li Leshan, I'm tired..."

"I'm really, really tired..."

Li Leshan suddenly raised his head, his eyes instantly filling with tears.

Looking at Jiang Yueming's expression through the screen, he didn't know what he could do to alleviate her pain.

Is it because I'm mute? Is it because I'm a burden, dragging you down with me? Is it because I was born into this family, with this kind of father? Or is it because of something else...?

He suddenly remembered what Jiang Yueming had blurted out many years ago: "You still like him even though he's mute?" Those words, like a boomerang, had swirled for a long time, and today they pierced Li Leshan's heart again. From that moment on, it felt like a piece was missing from his heart, something that could never be filled. He tried not to think about that void, as if it didn't exist, but he knew that the gap would always remain…

But was this the first day he became mute? He didn't want it to happen, more than anyone else. He couldn't choose his birth, and he didn't want it to happen. He was only a burden; he had always been a burden to Jiang Yueming.

“I…I’m coming to find you,” Li Leshan jumped up, a little anxious, his sign language faltering as he waved for the camera. “I’m buying a ticket now, to the south, we’ll talk in person, wait for me…I…”

"Forget it." Jiang Yueming's voice was cold, carrying an unyielding weariness. "You never let me stand in front of you, you're right. Standing in front of you is too tiring... It's all my fault for being willful, and I have only myself to blame."

"Shengping, I won't be going back." These were Jiang Yueming's last words.

The screen went dark, reflecting his own face. Li Leshan saw helplessness, confusion, and a sense of being at a loss in it. He stared blankly at everything before him, perhaps it had all been foreshadowed, but he hadn't noticed or dared to think about it.

A few seconds later, a suppressed, broken sob finally escaped from his throat. He curled up, burying his face deep in his knees, his shoulders trembling violently.

He used to always think about escaping and retreating. He said he didn't want Jiang Yueming to do these things for him, he didn't want him to do anything. But in the end, he gained so many peaceful days through Jiang Yueming's actions, without even realizing it.

Jiang Yueming was so good to him, but he always had to maintain his pride in the face of that kindness. In fact, he had only himself to blame.

He dragged Jiang Yueming into his messy affair with Li Yong; he was always a burden, dragging others down with him. Li Leshan should have realized this long ago, perhaps he should have let go. He clearly realized long ago that he was the one clinging to Jiang Yueming. He said he couldn't bear to let go, but what did his reluctance bring? Pain, torment, endless exhaustion…

He has wronged Jiang Yueming; this debt can never be repaid, even in the next life. Will he have another chance to repay it in this life?

Li Leshan deposited all the money he had into the card that Jiang Yueming had given him, along with the money he had transferred to Li Yong and the money Jiang Yueming had given him; he didn't keep a single penny.

He took the card, boarded the train to the south, handed the card to him, and took one last look at him.

Li Leshan asks for nothing else.

He let Jiang Yueming go, or rather, he should have let her go long ago. He should have realized from the beginning that someone like him wasn't worth Jiang Yueming spending her life with. How could he have dared to hope for a lifetime together?

The moment he boarded the train heading south, Li Leshan truly understood just how far the distance was. They were separated by such a vast distance, unable to see each other even when they looked at each other. How did Jiang Yueming manage to get here? What were his feelings? What was he thinking?

Looking back now, Jiang Yueming wasn't crazy, he was stupid. Choosing to be with me was the stupidest thing he ever did.

Li Leshan wrote Jiang Yueming's name and major in the memo. He didn't know anything about Jiang Yueming except which school he attended and which major he was in. He didn't know which class he was in or where he lived.

It's really difficult for a mute person to inquire about this business. Li Leshan walked around, stopping and starting, asking around for who knows how long, until he finally met a girl who was in the same major as Jiang Yueming.

The girl, with her hair in a ponytail, warmly asked Li Leshan if he needed any help.

Li Leshan quickly typed on his phone, "Hey classmate, do you know Jiang Yueming, who's in the same major as you?"

"Oh, let me think. There are four classes in our major. Our class doesn't have any, but I'll look for it for you. Don't worry." The girl scrolled through the class information on her phone.

Li Leshan quickly bowed and thanked him. He waited patiently to the side, looking at the school gate and the crowds coming and going, hoping to see Jiang Yueming among them.

The girl searched carefully from class to class, but her brows furrowed more and more. "Is he from the class of 2013?"

Li Leshan nodded.

"That's strange," the girl looked again carefully, her tone apologetic and confused, "There's no one in our department named Jiang Yueming, classmate, are you sure you've got the right person?"

If Li Leshan had known that the Jiang Yueming he saw at Shengping Railway Station was the last time he would ever see him, he thought he would have done nothing but quietly watch him, watch his smile, watch his departing figure, and watch for a little longer, just a little longer.

I wonder how long it will take to make that one glance last forever.

In June 2014, Jiang Yueming disappeared without a trace, as if he had vanished into thin air. No one knew where he went; his aunt couldn't reach him by phone, and he couldn't be found anywhere—in the south, the north, or Shengping.

As the train headed north, Li Leshan spent countless nights afterward repeatedly reliving that painful period of his youth. Eight years had made him forget many things, but eight years of relationship left him with many unforgettable memories.

However, some people and some things have already subtly become part of his bones, growing with him as he grows.

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Author's Note: After overcoming numerous difficulties, this chapter has finally been published. With this, all major milestones in this story have come to a complete end.

Looking back, the later stages of writing were particularly difficult. The earlier chapters were too lengthy, making it challenging to wrap things up. This is the final chapter I've revised and cut countless times. In fact, I was still trying to rewrite it an hour or half an hour before publishing it, and even considered taking a break to do a major overhaul. But in the end, I chose not to. I didn't want to torture myself or waste my energy on internal conflicts.

I've laid a lot of groundwork beforehand to make this inevitable separation seem less abrupt. As for all the doubts and reasons, I will gradually explain them to you in later chapters.

I'll accept whatever the outcome. Writing can't be perfect. I often tell myself, "Finish first, then perfect." I will continue to learn from my mistakes, revise what needs changing, fix what needs fixing, maintain a good story rhythm, refine my writing, and strive to write an even better book next time. As for this story, I truly did my best.