Chapter Thirteen

Li Nan shook her head and said helplessly, "Your self-awareness is quite accurate. Just like you said you are a pessimistic person, and sure enough, you really are like that."

You've been stuck in a sad mood and can't get out of it, kid. Wake up. Things aren't that bad. Have you encountered any major problems that you can't solve? No, so why are you panicking? Why are you sad?

I think people really shouldn't wallow in self-pity. I'm not like that. Be optimistic. No one really owes you anything.

You're still alive and healthy, and that's already a blessing. Don't expect everything to go your way. I once met a girl who lost both hands but still insisted on drawing with her feet.

Compared to this girl, many people are lucky. Many people only know how to cherish something when they lose it. Not everyone can be healthy. Some people are born with disabilities, but they still live strong lives.

Suffering should not be compared, and one cannot derive pleasure from the pain of others. I just want to say that we, as celebrities, are truly much luckier than most people.

So what can we offer to those watching us? Emotional value. Even if you're in a bad mood, you can't show those negative emotions on camera.

Nobody turns on the TV to see someone with a long face. Most people already have a lot of troubles at work, so they watch variety shows to have some fun.

If you can't make the viewers laugh, then you're not doing a good job. We're paid a lot of money; this is work, not a game. If you get paid, you have to do the work.

We have a responsibility to provide the positive emotional value we deserve to those who might be watching us. I also don't want to have a gossip session with you that puts you in a bad mood.

After all, I saw you were smiling quite happily at first. If I hadn't told the truth, you might still be happily shipping couples right now. But I don't regret it.

Anyway, recording this show will take a long time, and you'll find out the truth sooner or later. If you find out the truth later, you might still be in a bad state.

So I don't think I did anything wrong. It's just that seeing you like this, I can't help but feel a little guilty and remorseful.

It's simply a matter of dying sooner or later. You'll have to face the truth sooner or later. My choice to speak up early is perfectly justified; I'm right.

Xu Weiwei was amused and said, "Of course you're right. Overemphasizing it shows how much you value it, but it also makes me think that you might be insecure and trying to comfort yourself."

I want to say that I'm grateful you told me the truth; I don't want to be deceived. I like the truth, and even if the outcome isn't what I hoped for, I don't like to be trapped in a happy dream.

Because I know that those dreams are ultimately not reality, not true. Someone once said that humans can have deep communication and interaction through dreams.

Some people say that if you dream about someone, it means that person is thinking about you. But that's not true. I think that the seemingly bizarre and fantastical nature of dreams is actually just what you see and think before you go to sleep, which makes up the dreams you have after you fall asleep.

Everything is related to yourself, not to others. If you dream of someone you might know, it's not that they miss you, but that you miss them.

If you don't think about him, he won't appear in your dreams. Human thoughts are fleeting; if you don't write down what you think of one second, you'll forget it the next.

Even things you thought of just a few minutes ago, wrote down, and recorded, seem so unfamiliar and strange when you look at them again. How could you have come up with something like this? It's amazing.

For example, I once met a famous singer-songwriter who wrote a song for someone else in less than ten minutes. The other person sang the song and it became a hit. He listened to the song and thought the lyrics were really good. When he looked into it, he realized that he was the lyricist.

He then realized that it was a song he had written. Logically, this shouldn't have happened; it seemed too naive. But actually, I understand that feeling perfectly.

Do you know what? Every time I finish filming and return to reality, when I'm out of character, I feel dazed. It's like I look at myself in the mirror and feel completely unfamiliar.

A part of every character I've played has remained entirely within me, and a part of who I was has also been left in those characters I've played; I can never get it back.

So I know I can't have love, because every time I film a movie, I become a completely new person. You might like a certain aspect of me before, but after I finish filming a movie, that aspect might no longer exist in me. I leave it in my characters.

The characters I play are completely different from me in real life. Every time filming wraps up, I say goodbye to them properly, and I don't do any reshoots.

Even if the play is incomplete, I think it's acceptable, since the director can edit the footage from the role I played before to create the effect he wants.

I can't get into a role a second time. I can only get into each role once. Once I'm out of the role and say goodbye, I can't play that role again.

It exists there, alive and well. It is not me, and I am not it. I am already alive. I cannot play the role of someone who already exists, and besides, there is no point in playing that role.

I believe in the saying "even if the play is bad, the actor is not." I'll just focus on doing my best in my role and leave the rest to fate. If the final product isn't good, I'll accept it.

After all, a good play requires the joint efforts of everyone, not just my efforts alone. It requires the right timing, location, and people.

Actors have their low points. If the characters I play are not liked by the audience, I think it's normal. I can accept criticism. But I will always love the characters I play. In my eyes, they are the best.

I am not a stubborn person who cannot accept criticism. Sometimes when others point out my mistakes, I feel that they are quite right, so I will accept them and then try to improve.

Do you know? I once knew a person who couldn't listen to other people's advice. Even though I had repeatedly emphasized to him that the charging battery couldn't be brought into the elevator when he bought the electric scooter, he insisted on bringing it and ended up being killed by the explosion.

I don’t know if he regretted anything before he died, but I think he probably didn’t. After all, the kind of person he was, even if he really encountered a problem, would only blame others and would never admit that he was wrong.

Is it good to persist in something futile? No, it's not good. People can make mistakes, but they can't refuse to correct them, and they certainly can't gamble with other people's lives.

The only thing I'm thankful for is that the person only killed themselves; they were alone in the elevator, no one else was there. Otherwise, how innocent and unlucky would others have been to encounter such a stupid and wicked guy? He was asking for his own death, so he shouldn't have dragged others down with him.

If I become a popular actor, I definitely cannot accept this outcome. Many fans have given me their sincerity and love, but I give them very little in return.

This would make me feel extremely guilty, and I cannot bear such a result. It's the same principle that truly conscientious businessmen rarely succeed; many businessmen who achieve commercial success have abandoned a part of their conscience.

I might throw away food I don't like, but if I opened a bakery and discarded a lot of unsold bread every day, instead of giving it away for free, I would think that's crazy.

Of course I can understand that this is a necessary operation in order to keep the bakery running, especially since in this day and age, not as many people starve to death as in ancient times.

But if I were to be the one doing this, I couldn't do it. I probably wouldn't be able to sleep day and night, and my conscience wouldn't allow it.

Because I know that not everyone in this world is so lucky to live in a peaceful environment like us. Some people are in war, amidst gunfire and chaos, and they are really starving to death because they lack food.

And I, living on the same planet, a fellow human being, am wasting so much space—it's truly wrong, I feel this is absolutely unacceptable.

Xu Weiwei frowned and thought for a while, and then said after a long time, "Actually, I think if we have extra money, we can open a stray cat and dog rescue station. Every day, the leftover bread from the bakery can be given to the stray cats and dogs."

This way, there's no need to worry about wasting bread, and well-cared-for cats and dogs can be adopted for free. Many stray cats and dogs roam around, actually causing a lot of trouble.

What you did really solved a lot of problems, but the cost was quite high, and most people probably couldn't afford it. But I believe that doing good deeds always pays off.

If you rescue stray cats and dogs, your business will improve, and you'll be able to earn more money. This will also improve the living conditions of stray cats and dogs, creating a virtuous cycle.

I suggested giving the cats and dogs to the strays because I know that giving them to people would cause the bakery to go out of business. Human nature is very complicated. Even if you do ninety-nine good things for them, as long as you do one bad thing, they will only remember that you did something bad to them, completely disregarding the good you did for them and showing no gratitude whatsoever.

Of course, I don't mean to say that stray cats and dogs are more grateful than people, but the cost of rescuing stray cats and dogs is still very low, at least you won't lose money.

I once heard of a kind middle-aged woman who was killed by someone she had financially supported. She never married and, after growing up and starting work, financially supported two teenagers who had dropped out of school because they had no money.

However, when she was forty-three, the company laid her off. She looked for a job for two years but couldn't find a suitable one because they thought she was too young. Her savings were also almost gone, so she stopped supporting the two people she had been paying for their education.

One of them said nothing and accepted the result calmly, while the other had just been admitted to university and had even received his admission letter, but was told that he would no longer be supported and would have no money to go to university.

He felt that his life had been ruined by his sponsor, so he took a knife and went to her house alone, found her, and killed her with his own hands.

And so, a tragedy occurred. I agree with your point that human nature is complex; I think so too. Being genuinely kind to someone doesn't always guarantee a return; in fact, it can lead to endless trouble.