Chapter 86 The Meaning of Existence... How do you say it in German again... Ich...?

This wasn't the first time Heinrich had drowned.

He remembered the feeling. The moment he fell into the water, his body instinctively held his breath. Then, water rushed into his trachea from his nose, his throat coughed uncontrollably, his chest heaved violently, and even though he was submerged, his internal organs felt as if they were being scorched by flames. It would be over soon, he would soon lose consciousness, as if he had simply fallen asleep quietly, forever lost in a dream.

In this long, seemingly endless dream, his home was not burned down by his own hands, his parents still treated each other with respect, his younger siblings surrounded him with flowers, and he stood in front of the church altar in a magnificent formal suit, kneeling devoutly on one knee before his fiancée.

“Heinrich, I do take you to be my husband.” Lilith, dressed in a snow-white wedding gown, smiled sweetly at him. “I will live here with you. I will leave behind the past, focus on our family, and strive to be a good wife and mother.”

"No!" Heinrich was terrified, his face turning deathly pale. He stared at her blankly, then suddenly stood up and shook his head vigorously. "You are not her."

"But I will remain faithful to you, I will be with you forever, I will be your wife, I will take care of the household chores for you, and I will bear your children..."

"No. This can't be real..."

Heinrich looked around in panic and found that his parents, his younger siblings, and Lilith standing before him had all turned into lifeless wax figures, and so had Lilith, whose stiff face bore a fake smile. It was all fake, all an illusion.

Disappointed, Heinrich raised the candlestick and resolutely lit the human-shaped wax in front of him, burning away all his delusions—at that very moment, he suddenly felt fresh air flow into his lungs once more, and a real, intense pain shot through his chest. He coughed up a mouthful of water and opened his eyes as if waking from a dream, seeing wet, red, tentacle-like objects hanging in front of him.

"Haha, look what I caught!" Lilith, sitting on his waist with a mischievous grin, suddenly punched him hard in the chest, causing him to reflexively spit out another mouthful of water. Heinrich looked up blankly, meeting Lilith's cunning green eyes.

"Do you remember who I am?" She poked Heinrich's pale face, which was suffocated by oxygen. "I'm Lilith, the loan shark, your master. I saved your life, and now you'll have to be my dog ​​for the rest of your life to repay my kindness. Do you know how tired I was when I pulled you out? You were so heavy... and the water was so cold. If I hadn't been a good swimmer, I would have frozen to death..."

Heinrich looked around somewhat dazedly and found himself and Lilith on a dilapidated boat, with a dense forest on the shore. The dark clouds in the sky had dispersed, and the cool moonlight spilled onto the shimmering water. There was no one around, only the sound of the flowing water. Lilith was dressed in a smart men's suit, but her clothes were completely soaked, and she shivered in the winter wind.

"Oh no. Has she really turned into an idiot..." Lilith frowned. "Well... an amnesiac, silly beauty... it's not that I can't afford to raise her... it's just that I still prefer a smart one..."

Heinrich finally coughed up all the water from his chest, sat up with the help of the deck, and suddenly opened his arms to hug her, tears welling up in his eyes.

"Hey, hey, be a little more reserved." Lilith chuckled and patted his back. "Good dog, you can't be so enthusiastic towards strangers. Listen to your master. Uh... can you understand me?"

“Lilith…” Hot tears streamed down Heinrich’s cheeks and dripped onto Lilith’s shoulder. “Why did you go to such lengths for me…?”

"So you didn't lose your memory!" Lilith breathed a sigh of relief. "Because I promised to help you. I may not be good at fighting, but I'm very good at running away. Look, I not only escaped from you, but I also took you with me."

"You could have escaped to a safe place by yourself, you could have just stopped caring about me..."

“No way.” Lilith deliberately feigned nonchalance, as if rescuing someone from the water was as easy as picking up a stray dog. “The bishop of Venice said the documents might be forged… divorce cases require both spouses to be present to make an exception for me. If I don’t rescue you, I’ll have to be a widow again, but you promised to give me my freedom.”

“If I die… even if you’re still my wife in name only, you’ll be free.” Heinrich slowly released his arms from her, lowering his head, unable to look at her. “You don’t need to…”

“I love you,” Lilith suddenly grasped his hand and said to him firmly.

"...?"

“Because I love you, Heinrich, I don’t want you to die!” Lilith’s cheeks flushed red, and her hands trembled uncontrollably, causing her to grip them even tighter, her nails digging into Heinrich’s skin.

Heinrich stood frozen in place like a statue, unable to believe his ears. If it weren't for the throbbing pain in his hands and chest, he would have thought he was still dreaming.

"What did you say……?"

"I love you……"

"Oh no... I think I got water in my ear..."

“I said I love you! Heinrich! I love you! I love you! I love you! Ti-amo—can't you hear me, or don't you understand? What's it in German again…Ich liebe dich. I want to be with you forever! No, maybe not forever, no one can guarantee forever, but I hope it can be as long as it lasts…”

Suddenly, Lilith lunged into Heinrich's arms, biting his lips fiercely and beginning to kiss him passionately. Heinrich suddenly felt his body, which had been cold and numb from being soaked in water, become hot again. He hugged his lover tightly, gently responding to her kisses, until she pushed him away breathlessly.

“Lilith, I love you too. If it weren’t for the desire to see you again that drove me to fight… I probably wouldn’t have been able to break through so many guards, confront Helmut alone, and finally finish him off cleanly. But Lilith… you have no idea how foolish and wrong I was. I don’t deserve your love at all…”

Heinrich helplessly lowered his head, buried his face in her chest, and sobbed as he poured out his heart to her:

"My revenge is a complete joke. Helmut is not the villain I imagined, who killed his father and married his mother to seize power. It was my mother who killed my father, ended a terrible marriage with poison, and then cruelly lost her life because of my so-called revenge... Lilith, I finally understand why you were so determined to kill me back then. I think your choice might not have been wrong, which is why I jumped into that deep pool myself."

“Lilith, I love you, so I don’t want you to ever repeat my mother’s mistakes. If my existence is a threat to you, it would be better to eliminate that threat as soon as possible. But you came to save me yourself and told me you love me… I don’t know what to do… I don’t even know what the meaning of my existence is. I’m so weak and foolish… But Lilith, hearing you say you love me makes me so happy…”

Lilith fell silent. Heinrich's words were quite revealing; even she needed a moment to process them all. After a while, she straightened Heinrich's shoulders, made him look into her eyes, and said earnestly:

"Although the truth is unbearable... knowing the truth is far better than being kept in the dark forever. Perhaps it's not a bad thing to violently expose all the facades of peace and tranquility. Since everyone involved has passed away, it's better to consider it all over. At least now you no longer have to bear the responsibility of avenging your father, and you can go find what you truly want to do and start a new life."

"What threatens me is the wifely duty that confines my freedom, the corrupt and foolish marriage, the 'husband' who symbolizes oppression and power, not the Heinrich I know before me. I know that even though you have done many bad things for me... you are still a kind person at heart. Your 'weakness' allows you to sensitively empathize with the plight of the powerless, and you feel 'foolish' because you constantly reflect on your own shortcomings. Heinrich, no one is perfect, and it is precisely this imperfection that I love in you. So please stop saying that you are not worthy of being loved. Please don't deny my taste and aesthetic sense, okay?"

She smiled and poked Heinrich's nose, wiping away the tears on his cheeks, and continued speaking to him:

"Actually, I was very afraid of loving you before. I don't even know when I fell in love with you... At first, I just thought you were very obedient, very useful, and good at making me happy. It wasn't until you told me you loved me during that fire that I realized there was such a possibility. I only know that I don't want you to die, I don't want you to leave me, so when I found out you were back in my life, I took the initiative to kiss you..."

"But I'm still afraid to love you. I've always felt that in order to become a successful, independent woman, I shouldn't love anyone. Because love can control your emotions, make you do many irrational things, and might even make you lose yourself, willingly becoming someone's slave..."

"However, love can also make people stronger, love can help you grow, and it can help you and the person you love become better versions of yourselves. There is no inherent conflict between career and love. Therefore, I have decided to face my heart and express my love for you."

"As for questions like the meaning of existence... I haven't really figured it out yet. I only know that many things I might want to do in the future will require a lot of money. So the most urgent thing is still to earn more money. In short, let's focus on the present. I believe we will find the answer someday."

"Lilith, thank you. I really don't know how to thank you enough."

"Didn't I say before that you'd be my dog ​​for life to thank me? Once you've recovered and successfully inherited the title, you must help me establish a branch in Frankfurt, and you're not allowed to work for the Fugger family anymore... You're mine."

“Yes, madam, I will do as you say.” Heinrich blinked obediently. “You’re so kind…”

“Oh, right, there’s something else I need to tell you.” Lilith suddenly frowned and said seriously, “You are absolutely not allowed to tie me up again, not even in the name of protecting me. I was just comforting you because you’re pitiful right now, don’t think I’ve forgiven you! You have to make it up to me.”

"I was wrong. You can punish me however you want..."

“I realize it now. What you call punishment is actually a reward for you.” Lilith sneered, shoving Heinrich aside, and grabbed an oar to return to the stern. “Alright, I’m not talking to you anymore. I’m going to keep rowing. I’ll settle the score with you when we get back.”

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Author's note: [Starry eyes][Starry eyes] More tomorrow!