Chapter 55 I am in my thirties and suddenly I want to rebel.

Changing her name wasn't as complicated as Chen Qingqing had imagined. She'd initially assumed it would take several months, but after two visits, the clerk reminded her it was over. She inquired if there were any other procedures, and was told to simply go home and wait for the ID. A few days after she returned from the police station, her new ID card was delivered to her home. The speed of the process left her feeling a bit dazed. She'd originally imagined this marriage would take another six months or a year.

Standing by the dining table at home, Chen Qingqing took a photo of herself holding her new ID card and two marriage certificates and sent it to Wang Shu. She held up her phone with both hands, waiting for a reply from the other party. The other party was typing at first, then didn't, and after waiting for ten minutes, he simply didn't reply. Chen Qingqing sighed softly, put down her phone, and saw the wall of unopened express boxes right behind her.

Wang Shu had been working day and night for Haojie this month. His successful career was a clumsy way of showing affection, showering Shen Qingqing with gifts. She had sent a wall of packages, but she hadn't opened any, leaving them all at her door. The only news she had about Wang Shu was from trending searches on Weibo: one day his game was on the charts, the next day the CEO posted a message thanking the players. Sometimes she'd also come across promotional videos from influencers on websites. She wondered what Wang Shu was up to. What was he like? Was he lost in his own excitement, thinking about his marriage and losing focus?

Chen Qingqing recalled the time when he pursued her, and then laughed at herself. Now Mr. Wang is very busy and doesn't have that much time to spend with someone. The only change he has made now is that he clumsily makes breakfast for Chen Qingqing before going to work every day. But she has not worked for the past few years and has been waking up late, so eating breakfast has long been out of her mind. So even though there is a hearty meal every day when she opens her eyes, she doesn't want to move, as if eating means she has lost the game. She doesn't want to show that she doesn't want to divorce.

She didn't feel any urgency to get a divorce, because Shen Qingqing didn't know what she would do after the divorce. She didn't want to date a new man, nor did she have any sense of ritual for getting a marriage certificate. Whether the marriage was suspended or not, it made no difference to her now.

The attitude towards divorce makes Shen Qingqing feel that there is a very vague boundary in her heart, and even she herself does not understand her own complexity.

-

On the weekend night, Wang Shu worked overtime as usual. Chen Qingqing called Shen Xue and wanted her to return to Beijing, but Shen Xue hesitated on the other end of the phone and finally told her that her husband no longer allowed her to work far away. Chen Qingqing wanted to ask more questions, but she heard the sound of a child calling for her mother again, so she had to hang up.

She then called Shen Qiwen, and it was her mother who answered. Chen Hua told him that Shen Qiwen was having dinner with his grandfather.

Shen Qingqing was a little embarrassed, not knowing what to say. It would be awkward to just hang up. She rarely chatted with her mother, but after thinking about it, she said, "Mom, what's wrong with Shen Xue? I was going to let her go back to Beijing, but she said she didn't want to come back."

Chen Hua said, "I heard from your father a few days ago that she wants a divorce, but her husband doesn't agree."

Shen Qingqing asked why?

Chen Hua said, "It seems your brother-in-law beat her... He said Shen Xue was very conceited after returning from your place and suspected she had other intentions."

Shen Qingqing thought it was ridiculous. "How can you hit someone? Why can't you wear two beautiful clothes? And why can't you get a divorce?"

Chen Hua said, "Our conditions are not good, so we are sensitive. If we divorce, who will take care of the three children? No matter who takes care of the three children, it will be difficult to find a new partner."

Shen Qingqing didn't know what to say for a moment, and finally said silently. "I'm going to divorce Wang Shu."

Chen Hua subconsciously called out Shen Qiwen.

She didn't hear her father's response. After a while, Chen Hua said, "Yan Yan, your dad doesn't have time to answer the phone right now. Why do you want a divorce? You can talk to your mom.

Facing her mother, Shen Qingqing found it difficult to explain the cause and effect of the journey, and only said, "It doesn't seem very appropriate."

Chen Hua breathed a sigh of relief over there. She was still digesting the news.

Shen Qingqing added, “We didn’t cheat.”

Chen Hua asked, "What will you do after the divorce? Have you thought about it?"

Shen Qingqing said, "The person you marry after your divorce is probably also a second marriage, and may even have a child."

Chen Hua quickly denied it. "Oh, that's not what I meant. I wanted to ask what you plan to do after the divorce? Will you stay in Beijing? Or go back to Dalian?"

Shen Qingqing thought for a moment and said, “I should stay in Beijing, shoot some things, and realize the value of life.”

"Well, not bad." said Chen Hua.

Shen Qingqing hummed and said nothing more. The phone between mother and daughter fell silent, but no one said to hang up. Until Shen Qingqing heard Chen Hua take a breath, then let it go, repeating this several times, he finally said silently, "Actually, your father and I are divorced too."

Shen Qingqing almost lost control of the water cup in her hand. "What are you talking about, Mom? Aren't you with Daddy now?"

"It was on your birthday last time. We had an unpleasant argument in Beijing. I got divorced when I returned to Dalian in a fit of anger. Of course, it was because of a lot of small things piling up. I felt I couldn't stand him anymore, and then I started scolding him, and I found out that he had been putting up with me for a long time." Chen Hua couldn't help laughing when he said the last sentence.

Shen Qingqing thought carefully about that birthday. They were indeed stiff, but she was also dull. She just thought they had conflicts and didn't expect that they were divorced. "It's been more than a year? What's your situation now?"

"After we got the divorce certificate and came out of the Civil Affairs Bureau, your dad was hungry, so we went to Jinzhou to have some mutton soup. On the way, we chatted casually about what to do after the divorce. At that time, the house was still being renovated, and we wanted to talk about the division of property. Well, actually, you are our only child, so no matter how we divide it, it will be yours in the end. The only thing that got off track at that time was the current house in Zhongshan, because we both liked it when it was being renovated, and we both wanted to live in it. Then I asked your dad what to do, and your dad said why not just live together." Chen Hua said.

Shen Qingqing now felt like a mushroom cloud had exploded above her head. The water in her hand was still scalding hot. She blew the water awkwardly while talking to her mother, making a whirring sound into the microphone.

Chen Hua continued, "We're living together illegally now, and I've found that I don't dislike your dad that much anymore. I used to think he was boring, nosy, and like a savior, but later I found him to be very kind and warm-hearted. Even after our divorce, he didn't make a big fuss about it and told the whole family. He still visits your grandpa a few times a week, and when he gets into a fight with the neighbor next door, it's your dad who goes to mediate. He's not a son-in-law anymore, but he still has no regrets..."

"Does grandpa know that you are divorced? Does your uncle know? What is everyone's attitude? This is too ridiculous." Shen Qingqing put down the water cup and kept asking.

"After the Lunar New Year this year, your uncle found out. Last year, when he came back from abroad, he had a lot of things he couldn't handle. He needed to register a company in China to take on the work, so he called your dad directly. Your dad went to help your uncle solve the problem without saying a word. It wasn't until you guys returned after the Lunar New Year this year that the company's legal representative had to renew the business license, and I overheard your dad making the call."

Chen Qingqing was already sitting on the ground hugging her knees, thinking, look at our family...

Chen Hua said, "Yan Yan, you know that being a legal representative is a very risky thing, but your father still did this even when divorcing me."

Shen Qingqing asked, "What about now? Are you remarried?"

"No, after I found out about the legal person, I felt really sorry for your dad. I thought he had no obligation to bear the risk for our family after the divorce, but he said that we've been family to him for so many years, including me. I suggested remarrying, but your dad actually said it was fine not to. After all, we're still living together, and all our social and family relationships haven't been damaged, and there's no rift. It feels quite relaxing and free. As for the property, you're the only child, so no matter how we get divorced, it will all be yours. He thinks it's fun to be able to do whatever he wants at this age."

Shen Qingqing was completely lost for words and rested her face on her knees. "Mom, you guys are so fashionable... Now I need to slow down."

"You're almost 32, right?" Chen Hua asked.

Shen Qingqing: Hmm.

"When I was 32, I just learned to drive, and your dad bought me my first car. I was so young then, and you were still very young, too. I didn't have to worry about raising a child, so every day I spent money... But then one day you left Dalian for college, and without young people around, the house became quiet. I was going through menopause, and I often wondered what the meaning of life was. I asked your Aunt Caicai, and she said that only people who have everything going their way question the meaning of life, while those who don't always think about how to live, so I was just complaining without any real reason."

Shen Qingqing didn't remember anything about her mother's menopause, because when she was growing up, her family never gave her any negative emotions.

"That day I went home and asked your dad, 'What's the meaning of your life?' Your dad said that taking care of the elderly until their old age, seeing Shen Yanyan get married, and then holding his grandchildren would satisfy him. Your dad's meaning of life is to fulfill his sense of responsibility. I've never experienced any major setbacks in my life. Divorce is the most rebellious thing I've ever done."

When Shen Qingqing heard the surname Shen, she couldn't help laughing. After listening to the other party, Shen Qingqing said, "Mom, being divorced and still living together is the most rebellious thing."

Chen Hua also smiled. "I'm full of energy every day now. I think I'm doing pretty well."

Shen Qingqing had been unable to figure out what she was going to shoot, but at this moment she suddenly figured it out.

-

Sasa stood in the cloakroom of Shen Qingqing's house, wearing her clothes, and Shen Qingqing opposite her was taking pictures of her. There was no place to stand in the cloakroom, it was full of piles of clothes and bags. The room was a mess. The only things that were not moved were the jewelry in the jewelry cabinet. At a glance, those diamonds were dazzling.

Sasa took off her long fringed skirt and put on another short pink one. After flipping through the Miu Miu brand, she asked Chen Qingqing, "This must be quite expensive, right? How much do you want it for?" Chen Qingqing said fifteen hundred. Sasa smiled helplessly, then asked Chen Qingqing while lifting the shoulder strap, "Have you decided?"

Chen Qingqing nodded and took out her phone to continue taking pictures of Sasa. Sun Ziyi, who was holding more clothes, piled two more pieces on the pile of clothes in front of him. "If you can't make a decision, sell the unused clothes. Your house can't accommodate them anymore."

Chen Qingqing sorted out the clothes she threw at her, and then went to reply to Sasa. "Well, what else can I do? I want to film something but I don't have the money, and I need to hire a lawyer to rent a camera. I can only sell some unused ones..."

Shen Qingqing sighed as she spoke and straightened her clothes, looking both gray and energetic.

Sun Ziyi added, "Chen Qingqing, I don't recommend investing too much in this thing. Documentaries don't make money, not to mention your topic... whether it can be broadcast is still a question, and it might even be banned if you're not careful."

Shen Qingqing nodded and said, "If I can't broadcast it, I can help others do things."

Sasa said, "You are just helping people do things. Are you just investing without considering the return?"

Shen Qingqing asked, "Then what reward can you get from this?"

Sasa said as she was picking out clothes, "I think, apart from giving you the title of documentary director, you won't make much money. Breaking even is good enough. Of course, I'm talking about assuming the show goes on air smoothly."

Chen Qingqing stopped talking and went to the bedroom to rummage through her clothes. Liu Sasa and Sun Ziyi looked at each other. Sun Ziyi whispered, "Chen Qingqing finally has something to do. We should encourage her!"

-

That night, after talking with Chen Hua, Chen Qingqing had a feeling of sudden enlightenment. Three couples were involved in divorce in one night. One was her parents who were financially free and could divorce at any time. One was herself and Wang Shu who were hesitant but divorce would not have much impact. The third couple was Shen Xue who wanted to divorce but couldn't.

She and her mother both have absolute freedom in dealing with marriage, but some people do not have such freedom.

At that moment, Shen Qingqing suddenly thought, what if she made a documentary about women? She wanted to provide legal or financial assistance to women who desperately wanted to gain "freedom" to divorce but were unable to do so.

She told her mentor that she wanted to make this happen, and the mentor told her that with her current fame and ability, it was impossible for her to get money to shoot the film. The only possible way to do it was to make it herself, that is, to shoot it herself and then sell it to TV stations or platforms. The mentor said, of course, the risk of not being able to sell it accounts for 80% for someone like you who has not had any works for many years.

Shen Qingqing went back and thought about it all night, and sent a message to Sun Ziyi early in the morning.

"I'm thirty-two years old and I really want to rebel."

-

At this moment, Chen Qingqing ran back from the bedroom with another pile of clothes. When she couldn't hold them anymore, she threw them all to the ground, then sank into the pile of soft clothes. She simply lay flat on her back, then turned over in a daze, staring blankly at the ceiling and replied to the two people's words just now, "Even if it's impossible, you still have to try. My dad has found the meaning of life." After saying this, she gave the two people a mysterious look and said, "His meaning is very cool."

The two people asked what the meaning of Uncle Shen's life was, but Shen Qingqing didn't answer and just smiled silently.

Sasa suddenly became concerned about the pile of clothes, and asked Chen Qingqing in a nonchalant manner, "Will the clothes lose their value if wrinkles appear on them if they are pressed like this?"

Shen Qingqing said, “Don’t worry, I have a pressing machine at home, you two can lie down, it’s very comfortable.”

Sun Ziyi and Sasa also lay down when they saw this. The three of them lay down in a pile of clothes. Shen Qingqing took out her mobile phone and connected it to the speakers at home and played a song.

She Will Be Loved

“

I love this song so much. Every time I listen to it, I feel like I'm eating a burger at a street vendor, then wrapping up my windbreaker, throwing away my cowhide bag, and going to kill and rob people.

Sun Ziyi turned his head to look at her. "This song, Shen Yanyan, do you remember that night?"

Chen Qingqing smiled and said, "I remember." Sasa looked at the two of them and waited for them to finish.

Chen Qingqing explained to Sasa, "Originally, we were just assistant director and assistant screenwriter, the kind of relationship where we exchanged pleasantries and liked each other's posts on WeChat Moments. But one night, the director, screenwriter, and producer were having dinner together. We were standing on the street seeing the director and screenwriter off, and then a man appeared across the street. He glanced at me, then at Sun Ziyi. I subconsciously sneered and took a taxi away."

Sun Ziyi continued, "I also know that person. I noticed Shen Qingqing's sneer at the time. I was very curious and itchy, but I was embarrassed to ask directly, so I looked for clues online and found that Shen Yanyan and that person followed each other, but never interacted. I was very curious at the time, so I went to ask her, and guess what happened?"

Sasa asked, "Who is your mutual crush? Party A?"

Sun Ziyi said, "That person used to be Shen Qingqing's colleague. I met her at a party. Shen Qingqing and I met this woman before we even knew each other. We both hated her, and she hated both of us."

"From then on, we liked each other more and more, and eventually became good friends who could talk about anything... Sister Sun even became my bridesmaid."

Sasa couldn't help laughing, "That's it?"

Sun Ziyi said, "Isn't that enough? What kind of fate is this? Shen Qingqing and I met three years after I had an encounter with that girl. This is Beijing! The probability of this happening is even lower than meeting love, and we're not even in the same circle!"

Chen Qingqing reached out, took Sun Ziyi's hand, put it on her chest, and said in tacit understanding, "Good sister. When we ran into her on the street, the burger shop on the street was playing this song. We later decided to make this our love song!"

Sasa laughed so hard that she covered her mouth. Sun Ziyi gave Chen Qingqing a tacit look in return. Chen Qingqing used her other hand to pull Sasa's hand that was covering her mouth, and finally put both hands on her chest, looking so pious that it was a little funny.

"This picture of them holding hands looks like they are about to worship or pray in the next moment."

"Then pray that my project goes well."

"What's the name of your documentary? We have to have a name in mind when we pray for you to have everything go well, right?"

"Let's break up, how about we break up?"