☆, Extra Chapter 4: Love Shines Brightly Amidst Regret (Gu Shi's Story)

Our ill-timed love shines brightly amidst regret. — Gu Shi

Do I love you? I don't know.

Do you like it? I don't know.

Is it important? Yes, it is very important.

Do you care? Yes, I care a lot.

Nothing in this world lasts forever, but it took me twenty years to understand that.

But it's too late.

That person will never come back.

How could she like me? And how could she not like me?

I watched that tiny pink dumpling grow up, watched her follow me around, and watched her drift further and further away from me.

When I tried to turn back, I found there was nothing left.

It felt like a dream.

Was it because I neglected her too much, or because Jiang Chen was too good at disguising himself, or because her dependence on me was too strong, that I was completely unaware that Jiang Chen had been thinking about her for so many years?

I saw her again today.

I saw her laughing as she threw herself into the man's arms, I saw her snuggling affectionately against him, I saw her cheeks cupped and gently kissed.

I saw her face gradually turn red.

I stared straight at her, not knowing what I was thinking, or maybe I wasn't thinking anything at all.

My heart felt cold, as if I could recall the way she looked when she said she liked me.

She was a quirky and arrogant child.

Once she's made a decision, she never goes back.

I know her very well.

She seemed to see me; her eyes darted away slightly, but she still reached out and wrapped her arms around his waist.

Love and not love are pretty obvious, aren't they?

What's so strange about it? I don't know.

People always judge the depth of their love by the pain they feel after a breakup.

Maybe I loved her, so why didn't I admit it back then?

Is it because she's been by my side all these years that I thought she would never leave me?

Or is it that I subconsciously feel I'm not good enough for someone as pure as her?

I don’t know and I can’t figure it out.

You're wrong. You're wrong from the very first step.

I went to see Aunt Meng, selfishly hoping to get another chance. Aunt Meng just sighed softly, her face full of regret.

She said, "A-Shi, Ruo-Ruo, she..."

I understand what wasn't said, I just don't want to admit it.

Then she returned, her face beaming, and said frankly and sincerely, "Brother A-Shi."

For a moment, it felt like I was overlapping with the little girl who used to follow me around and call me Brother A-Shi.

Everything is different now.

This time, "Brother A-Shi" was not a term of endearment, but simply a sincere and honest way of addressing him.

She's moved on.

It left me completely in the past.

I don't blame her; I blame my belated realization and my selfish possessiveness.

I said, "Ruoruo, let's talk."

She nodded in agreement, and I followed her to the guest room, where she invited me to sit down.

At this moment, I am a guest, Gu Shi.

She was no longer the Gu Shi who could be bossed around by her.

My heart was suddenly ripped open, and gusts of cold wind blew in, leaving me feeling icy cold.

I looked up into her clear, bright eyes and chuckled softly, "How are you doing?"

She nodded. "It's fine."

A moment of silence.

We eventually went from talking about everything to having nothing to say to each other.

"Is he good to you?" I couldn't help but ask that question.

I started to feel jealous of him.

I was jealous that he stole the girl who was following behind me, jealous that he took her away from me.

She chuckled softly, her eyes filled with tenderness. "He's a good person. He's very good to me and loves me very much."

"Do you love him?" I pressed on, unwilling to give up.

I could be as despicable as she is if she hesitated even slightly.

Anyway, I've never been a good person.

Unfortunately, she didn't hesitate at all. She rested her chin on her hand, seemingly lost in memories, and said, "Oh, Ah Chen is so, so good."

Yes, I saw that same passion, tenderness, and love in her eyes as I had before.

Yes, for another man.

I clenched my fists tightly, suppressing the anger in my heart, wanting to say something but not opening my mouth.

Everything is important.

Nothing matters anymore.

An awkward atmosphere filled the air again. After a long pause, she spoke, "What about you? Have you found a good girl?"

I found it, but I lost it.

My heart answered her, pleading again and again, "Come back, let's start over."

But I still said, "Sigh, only those without love are gods."

She stared at me intently. "Ah Shi, stop playing around and try to love seriously this time."

I stared into her clear eyes and blurted out, "Then can I truly love you?"

Absurd, utterly absurd.

I'm talking nonsense again.

Before she could answer, the phone rang. She obediently answered it, and a man's voice came from the other end.

I know him very well, Jiang Chen.

He said, "Honey, what are you doing?"

She glanced at me and replied, "Gu Shi came to my house. I'll say a few words to him."

So open and honest, so free of guilt.

See, she has completely moved on from me.

The man on the other end chuckled softly, "Baby, you're so honest. I have a surprise for you."

Her eyes sparkled, and she asked with delight, "What is it?"

"Go downstairs."

She pouted and said coquettishly, "Xiao Chenchen, you're not coming to find me, are you? You love me so much, but we just broke up."

His face was full of arrogance, pride, and joy.

The other end of the line still smiled gently, "Yes, baby, I love you so much, I want to bring you home as soon as possible."

"whispering sound"

She hung up the phone with a haughty air, looking at me with some embarrassment. I chuckled to myself; her eyes clearly said, "Go on, go on, I have to go on my date."

After all these years, don't I know her well enough?

What an idiot.

I stood up and flicked her head. "Be happy, Ruoruo."

She nodded and hummed in agreement. "You too."

This must be a real farewell.

We must all look forward.

I followed her downstairs and saw the man standing in the moonlight. She quickened her pace and threw herself into his arms.

He was tall and gentle, she was petite and lovely.

They're a perfect match.

Very happy.

I stood not far away, almost blending into the night, watching them be intimate as if in self-torture.

Watching them being so affectionate, oblivious to everyone else around them.

She is pure and innocent, brave and passionate; she deserves to be cherished.

Her love should be accepted and reciprocated.

It was my vain attempt to imprison the moon beside me.

I think I've been able to let go of that feeling.

Then I sincerely wish that little dumpling will be happy forever and always be loved.

From now on, whether we meet or not won't matter so much.

She used to follow me.

From now on, I will protect her.

Anyway, in this long life, I will never meet someone like her again.

People will pay the price for their choices.

And I finally got my comeuppance.

Some people are already very lucky to have met someone.

Thank you for being there, thank you for your companionship.

Thank you for your love.

I only wish you peace and safety every year.