Chapter 14 The act itself is the meaning of existence…

"Can't you sleep?"

It was still that familiar, cold voice. Sometimes, Shang Shu couldn't help but wonder if Gu Sui had installed a camera or a tracking device on her.

"Hmm." Shang Shu responded softly without looking at her, but simply raised her hand and took another drag of her cigarette. She hadn't had enough of this numb pleasure yet.

Gu Sui frowned slightly. She was very sensitive to the smell of smoke; she didn't dislike it, but she certainly didn't like it either.

She turned her head to look at her. In the moonlight, Shang Shu's profile seemed to be covered with a thin halo, or perhaps the misty smoke blurred her vision. Gu Sui felt that the person in front of her was somewhat unattainable.

“You were there the day I reprimanded Li Yun.” Shang Shu flicked the cigarette ash off her hand and blurted out abruptly.

"This is not your fault." Gu Sui seemed to have been searching for a long time before finally understanding her thoughts.

Isn't it her fault?

Of course she knew that.

But she dared not say that none of this had anything to do with her.

Feeling a burning sensation at her fingertips, Shang Shu belatedly stubbed out her cigarette, clutching the small, still-steaming butt.

"My mother didn't leave behind many things, and this is one of the few things I can hold onto." Shang Shu forced a bitter smile, turned her head to look at Gu Sui beside her, then turned her head away again, choosing instead to look at the hazy moon in the sky.

"I remember you told me that the more you try to hold on, the easier it is to lose. I didn't believe it then, but now I do."

She wanted to keep too many things: her mother, her company, her home, and a lover who belonged only to her, so things were destined to go against her wishes.

The winter nights in Macau seem to seep into one's bones with cold. The wind blowing from the river mouth carries a subtle salty dampness from the sea, which clings to the skin and envelops every pore.

Gu Sui quietly looked at her thin body wrapped in a bathrobe and her stubborn face. She seemed to always be like this, displaying her domineering passion on one hand, and hiding away to lick her fragile wounds on the other. This was true in Aicheng, and it was also true when she returned to Macau.

Even when their feelings were at their most intense, she could clearly feel this. Shang Shu could obey her, satisfy her, and even say she loved her to the greatest extent possible, but she couldn't give her trust without reservation. It seemed that only when the other party took the initiative to briefly expose the bloody wound could she be qualified to kiss the other party's already healed scar.

“But philosophy is dialectical.” Gu Sui also raised his head slightly, gazing at the moon entwined with wisps of clouds.

"Our existence precedes our essence, so we are destined to be sentenced to freedom. This absolute freedom forces us to constantly shape ourselves through choices and actions. We cannot escape it, and it naturally brings responsibility and anxiety."

"So, Ah Shu, the act itself is the meaning of existence, even if we will eventually lose it."

Shang Shu blinked slowly, shifting her gaze back to the other person's serious face.

The wind lifted Gu Sui's long, black hair, and the moonlight outlined the faint contours of her high, straight nose. As she spoke, her eyelashes trembled slightly, exuding a cool and captivating charm that was beyond the reach of others.

Gu Sui is beautiful, not just in appearance. Her rationality, intellect, and gentleness are like a fine wine that is intoxicating but not to be overindulged in. It is an ultimate sensuality that makes Shang Shu unable to help but fall for her. Whenever Gu Sui talks about her professional field, she seems to shine. Although she only half understands some of the things she hears, she likes Gu Sui very much.

"That sounds so pathetic." Shang Shu's lips curved into a smile, it was hard to tell whether it was sarcasm or pity.

She lowered her head and pondered for a moment, then finally chuckled softly and continued in a muffled voice, "So, death is actually a kind of relief, isn't it?"

"I'm telling you all this not so you'll overthink things." Gu Sui panicked; she remembered the marigold again.

She pulled at the sleeve of Shang Shu's robe with a mixture of urgency and pleading: "It's so cold outside, shall we go inside?"

Shang Shu also felt a bit cold standing there. She looked down at the sleeve that had been pulled up, and surprisingly did not resist. She obediently followed her back to the villa.

If sensitivity is a talent, then she must be of a high caliber, just as she easily captured Gu Sui's momentary panic.

"Even a PhD in philosophy is averse to this?" Shang Shu chuckled. She had been teased by her so many times, it was time for her to be teased too.

Gu Sui, unusually cold-faced, pulled her icy hand and gently warmed it: "Don't think about these things at such a young age."

Shang Shu wanted to laugh when she heard this, thinking that the other person still regarded her as a child who had just come of age.

She sniffed: "Gu Sui, I'm twenty-five this year."

"I know." Gu Sui lowered his eyes and led her upstairs.

How could she not know her age? She remembered everything about herself.

"Smoke less and drink less." Gu Sui led her to the bedroom door and subtly released her hand.

They're pushing their luck.

Shang Shu crossed her arms and leaned against the door frame: "Managing people like this will make it hard to have any friends."

"Goodnight." Gu Sui didn't reply to her, and only returned to his own room after watching her close the door.

A heart-shaped lighter sat on the bedside table. Gu Sui leaned against the edge of the bed, sitting in front of the large French window, looking down at the scattered camphor tree leaves in the garden. The old leaves on the ground were yellowing, a stark contrast to the green leaves on the trees.

Why would Shang Shu think of death so naturally?

And why...did she come so close to death?

She didn't want to think about it, and she dared not think about it anymore.

Gu Sui ran her fingers through her hair and buried her head deep in her knees. She should believe what Shang Shu said, or rather, Shang Shu wanted her to believe what she said. She shouldn't doubt the reason anymore.

But... if there's even the slightest possibility that it's related to her, then it goes against the original intention of making that decision. She doesn't know if it's right or wrong, she doesn't know anything anymore, she just wants to do everything she can to make amends, as long as it's for her own good.

The morning sun shines into the waterfront villa, and the aroma of baking bread wafts from the kitchen downstairs.

"Good morning." Shang Shu had already tidied herself up early and bumped into Gu Sui, who was also dressed neatly, on the stairs. Gu Sui was wearing a black shirt with the collar still open, and Shang Shu quickly looked away.

"Good morning, let's have breakfast." Gu Sui walked past Shang Shu and continued walking down the street, her shirt neatly tucked into her crisp wide-leg trousers, outlining her perfect waistline.

She walked quickly, barely making eye contact with Shang Shu, trying her best not to let the other person notice the dark circles under her eyes that she had barely managed to cover up after three attempts.

"Okay." Shang Shu followed behind her, trying her best not to look at the alluring figure in front of her.

The two ate breakfast quietly. Shang Shu took small bites of the toast and glanced at Gu Sui beside her from time to time. She still ate very little and very carefully, and drank flower tea that was different from the coffee in her hand.

Seemingly sensing her gaze, Gu Sui raised his eyelids slightly: "Am I that attractive?"

This person is really something.

Just as Shang Shu was about to say something, she noticed the faint dark circles under her eyes: "You last night..."

Didn't you sleep well?

But thinking that she would inevitably be teased by her again under the guise of concern, Shang Shu swallowed her words back.

"What?" Gu Sui took a sip of her flower tea and didn't hear the rest of her sentence.

Just as Shang Shu was about to say something, she heard a commotion outside the villa. It sounded like a young woman's voice. The villa was well soundproofed, so the commotion must have been quite loud.

The housekeeper immediately put down his work and ran outside to check the situation.

"What's wrong?" After a while, Gu Sui asked the butler who came in from outside.

"Second Miss, there's a Miss Pei outside the door who's insisting on seeing you."

Surname Pei? She didn't seem to know anyone with the surname Pei.

Gu Sui frowned, her face full of displeasure at having her breakfast interrupted. The other person not only knew her, but also knew the address of the waterfront. She had a bad feeling.

"I'll go take a look." She glanced at Shang Shu, then got up and walked towards the gate.

Shang Shu remained noncommittal, but was somewhat curious. However, she was too embarrassed to follow him out directly, so she continued to eat her breakfast as if nothing had happened, glancing towards the door from time to time.

Just as Gu Sui had expected, as soon as she reached the gate, the young woman who claimed to be surnamed Pei knelt down in front of her with a "plop".

Gu Sui quickly took a few steps back, but she still managed to grab his trouser leg.

"Miss Gu, please, please grant Zhao Min and my wish. We are truly in love," the woman surnamed Pei pleaded, tears streaming down her face.

Zhao Min?

Gu Sui was completely bewildered by her actions, but upon hearing Zhao Min's name, she seemed to have a guess in mind. She forced herself to calm down and said, "I don't know you, and I have no relation to Zhao Min whatsoever. Get up and say what you have to say."

The woman seemed very persistent, holding onto her trouser leg and refusing to get up, while continuing to say, "Miss Gu, the Gu family is powerful and influential, why must it be Zhao Min?"

The housekeeper also tried to pull the woman up, saying, "Miss, if you keep doing this, I'll call the police."

The woman on the ground had a shifty look in her eyes, glancing to the side every now and then as she spoke. When she saw that the time was right, she stood up and said somewhat timidly, "Miss Gu, I'm sorry."

Gu Sui followed the woman's gaze but saw nothing unusual. Seeing the woman's unusual behavior, even she, if she were stupid, would realize that something was amiss. She grabbed the woman's wrist: "You can't leave until things are cleared up."

Gu Sui had a general idea of ​​what was going on. The area around the waterfront villas was a high-end villa district with top-notch security in Macau. Ordinary people couldn't get in at all. This woman mentioned her relationship with Zhao Min, so she was probably also in the same circle. It wasn't surprising that she knew she lived in the waterfront villas through some means. But the most urgent thing was to find out her purpose for coming here.

Seeing that she couldn't escape, the woman said pitifully, "Miss Gu, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to cause trouble. I... I just heard about the arranged marriage and I'm so scared. I really can't live without Zhao Min..."

The woman spoke as if pouring beans from a bamboo tube.

Inside the house, Shang Shu waited for a long time, even finishing two pieces of toast, before walking to the door. What she saw was Gu Sui holding the other woman's wrist, and the woman looking like she was about to cry, the two of them pulling and tugging at each other.

Seeing Shang Shu come out, Gu Sui wanted to let go, but then he remembered that there were still some questions that hadn't been answered, and he couldn't let her leave so easily, so he kept holding her and met Shang Shu's gaze.

Her wrist was a little itchy. Shang Shu bit her lower lip and glanced at Gu Sui indifferently: "You're busy, I'll go first."

"Ah Shu, I..." Gu Sui looked at her resolute back and paced anxiously in place.

"Keep an eye on her for me." She quickly handed the woman to the housekeeper and then hurriedly chased after her.

A note from the author:

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