Chapter 17

After saying that, Shang Mu raised his head and looked Zhou Wangchuan in the eye. He had beautiful eyes, with long, thick eyelashes, and a carefree and cold look in his eyes.

Fu Nian on the side also said: "Yes, Doctor Zhou, let's go together."

At this moment, the mobile phone in Zhou Wangchuan's hand vibrated. When he saw the message, his face changed instantly.

"Sorry, something happened at the hospital," he said. "I won't go."

Shang Mu raised his eyebrows and said, "Then after we finish eating, can I ask you to pick me up?"

Zhou Wangchuan stopped at the door, said "OK", and left in a hurry.

The message was sent by the nurse on duty at the hospital. Grandma Xu in bed eight had fluctuating vital signs and was undergoing emergency treatment.

By the time Zhou Wangchuan arrived, the patient had already passed away, despite desperate efforts. She had died in her sleep, her face serene and calm. The apple by the bed had oxidized and turned yellow, becoming as lifeless as the person in the bed.

It was already late at night when they finished their business. When leaving the hospital, Zhou Wangchuan turned on his phone. Shang Mu hadn't called him, so he thought Shang Mu might not be home that night.

The key clicked as it turned in the lock, and Zhou Wangchuan entered the house, surprised to find someone else home. Through the gap in the carved pearwood entrance cabinet, he locked eyes with the person on the sofa.

The living room was dark, with only the dim glow of the television. The volume was low, and I had tuned in to a random legal education program. A suit-clad speaker was speaking passionately.

Shang Mu, wearing pajamas, leaned lazily on the sofa with a thin blanket on his legs and the remote control loosely held in his hand.

The two of them stared at each other for a while across the antique shelf. Zhou Wangchuan bent down to change his shoes and broke the silence: "Why didn't you let me pick you up? Did you have fun?"

Shang Mu pressed the remote control, changing channels several times in a row. Lights and shadows flickered in the dark living room. He said, "It's okay."

He casually asked again: "What happened?"

Hearing this, Zhou Wangchuan recalled Shang Mu's question to him a few years ago, when he first faced the death of a patient. He mentioned his desire to become a traveling doctor, which met with Shang Mu's puzzlement, believing that he should not be saddened by birth, old age, sickness and death.

Looking back now, Shang Mu's face had a hint of impatience when he talked about that, as if he was tired of listening to him talk about those things. So at this moment, he just said, "Nothing, just an emergency."

There was no expression on Shang Mu's face, his lips were pressed into a straight line, and he changed channels more frequently.

Zhou Wangchuan went to the bathroom to take a shower, wiped his wet hair with a towel, sat on the sofa, and asked, "Aren't you going to sleep yet?"

"Not sleepy."

The wall clock had already pointed to one o'clock. In the dark living room, the image of the TV was reflected on the wall, presenting colorful spots of light.

Zhou Wangchuan tilted his head to look. Shang Mu was lying on the sofa, his chin propped up by his elbow, staring at the TV, frowning and looking uncomfortable. Zhou Wangchuan reached out and pulled him to lie on his legs.

Shang Mu didn't look at him. He moved around and adjusted himself to a comfortable position, still staring at the TV.

Zhou Wangchuan pulled a thin blanket over him and covered him with it. His arms naturally fell around his waist, loosely holding it.

The TV was showing a blind date variety show, which was boring and exaggerated, but Shang Mu was watching it very seriously.

Zhou Wangchuan looked at it for a few minutes, and his thoughts drifted back to the ward.

Under the plate of oxidized and yellowed apples, there was a piece of paper with crooked handwriting that read: "Dr. Xiao Zhou, may good people have a peaceful life." There was also a small smiley face drawn next to it.

The nurse said that half an hour after he left, Grandma Xu rang the bell and asked for paper and pen. The nurse didn't understand why, but she still found some for her. An hour later, she passed away peacefully in her sleep.

"...Do you remember what your college days were like?"

The sound brought Zhou Wangchuan back to consciousness. He lowered his head. Shang Mu was still lying on his lap, staring at the TV, his thin lips gently pursed, and it was impossible to tell that he had just spoken. His eyelashes were long and black, and Zhou Wangchuan subconsciously wanted to reach out and touch them, but felt resistance.

When he looked, he saw that their hands had been pulled together at some point, with their fingers interlocked.

"Hmm?" Zhou Wangchuan thought slowly, "Why are you asking this suddenly?"

Shang Mu stopped talking and simply closed his eyes.

Zhou Wangchuan turned off the TV, and the room suddenly fell into deep darkness. He wanted to tell Shang Mu to go to bed, but he was overwhelmed by sleepiness and fatigue and fell asleep as well.

The sofa was too tight for two grown men to fit on, so when they woke up the next morning, they were cuddled together, sharing a thin blanket. Their arms and legs were intertwined, leaving no gaps between them, like two little pigs trying to keep each other warm.

For the next half month or so, both of them were very busy with work and rarely saw each other. When they returned home at night, the other was already asleep or had not yet returned home, and they rarely communicated.

Zhou Wangchuan knew that Shang Mu and Fu Nian went to practice again until late at night.

On the day of the Mid-Autumn Festival, Zhou Wangchuan asked Shang Mu on the way to work, "Are you free tonight? I'll pick you up after get off work. Let's go to my parents' house to celebrate the Mid-Autumn Festival together."

Shang Mu unbuckled his seatbelt and got out of the car, saying coldly, "Forget it. It's tiring to act affectionate."

Before leaving work, Zhou Wangchuan called again, but the call ended after two rings. The text message that followed contained only a short sentence: "Working overtime, no reply tonight."

Shang Mu's father and mother were both away, and he had no other relatives. So during the holidays, Zhou Wangchuan would take him home. Zhou Wangchuan's parents were open-minded and humorous, and had no objection to the two boys dating. After learning about Shang Mu's background, they became even more fond of him.

Hearing that Shang Mu had to work overtime tonight, Cheng Yunxuan thought of the conversation she had with her son half a month ago, and she felt a little clear in her mind.

After the family finished their meal, Zhou Wangchuan prepared to leave on the pretext of going to the hospital.

Cheng Yunxuan stopped him and went to the upstairs bedroom to get a small sandalwood box. She said, "This is the bracelet I mentioned last time. I was planning to give it to Xiao Mu tonight. He will probably like it very much. Go give it to him for Mom."

Zhou Wangchuan agreed, took the box, said goodbye and left.

After getting in the driver's seat, Zhou Wangchuan hesitated for a moment, stroking his phone before dialing Shang Mu's number. He thought the other party wouldn't answer, but after two rings, the call was connected, and the first thing that came out was deafening music.

"Hello?" Shang Mu's voice was very clear, and it was particularly distinct amidst the loud music and noisy voices.

Zhou Wangchuan asked: "Are you outside? Do you need me to pick you up?"

Shang Mu said indifferently: "If you want to come, then come."

Immediately afterwards, a location was sent over, which was an entertainment club.

When Zhou Wangchuan drove there, the street lights were just coming on and the club was bustling with activity.

He walked through the bustling corridors of the magnificent palace and stopped in front of the private room number Shang Mu had given him. When he pushed the door open and walked in, everyone in the room focused their attention on him.

Shang Mu sat closest to the door, and the moment the door opened, the two of them looked at each other.

These days, the two of them often have this kind of stare-in-the-eye exchange. Something is mixed in their eyes, no words are needed, only silent sighs.

Zhou Wangchuan glanced around the room and spotted a few familiar faces: Shang Mu's colleagues, including Fu Nian. He smiled, greeted everyone, and sat down next to Shang Mu.

Amid the blaring music, Shang Mu asked, "Aren't you celebrating Mid-Autumn Festival with your family? How come you have time to come see me?"

Zhou Wangchuan said, "I'm here to take you home."

Shang Mu paused for a moment as his hand drooped on the sofa, then he said nonchalantly, "Today's company team building will take a long time."

Zhou Wangchuan said: "It's okay, I'll wait for you."

As they were talking, Fu Nian came over with a glass of wine, sat down on the other side of Shang Mu, and casually put his arm around Shang Mu's shoulder. He said to Zhou Wangchuan, "Doctor Zhou, what a rare guest! Would you like to have a drink together? The company is holding a welcome party to welcome me to the company, and I didn't expect Xiao Mu to be so kind as to attend. He was never nice to me in college, and now it's all thanks to you, Doctor Zhou. I told him a long time ago that people like us won't last long with outsiders."

Shang Mu tilted his head to glance at the arm on his shoulder, a hint of hidden disgust and irritation flashed in his eyes, but for some reason, he did not struggle, but just raised his head and stared at Zhou Wangchuan with ambiguous eyes.

Zhou Wangchuan's gaze passed over the arm. Amidst the clatter of singing and drinking, only this tiny space was filled with silence.

The two pairs of eyes just stared at each other, and no one spoke.

Fu Nian moved closer and broke the silence with a smile: "I'm afraid Doctor Zhou will have to wait a long time today. After we finish here, Xiao Mu and I still have to go to the hotel, right?"

He laughed frivolously and impudently.

Shang Mu pursed his lips, staring at Zhou Wangchuan calmly without saying a word.

Zhou Wangchuan suddenly lost his mind and remembered the year when he had just started dating Shang Mu.

At that time, he was on a business trip. One morning, Shang Mu called and asked him if he could come back today. He said he was afraid not, as the business trip would take two or three days.

Shang Mu uttered "oh," a single syllable, but it was tinged with a hint of disappointment. After a pause, he said, "Then I'll go play with my classmates."

"Okay." Zhou Wangchuan said, "Then remember to send me the address."

That night, Zhou Wangchuan walked in, holding a large bouquet of roses. Everyone in the room looked over. Shang Mu was sitting in the back seat, playing with his phone. The moment he looked up, his eyes were filled with surprise and disbelief, and he remained silent for several seconds.

The classmates all started to make a noise: "Hey, who ordered these roses?"

Shang Mu came back to his senses and walked to the door, stepping on the light spots on the ground.

Zhou Wangchuan smiled, leaned forward and kissed him on the lips, saying, "Happy birthday, baby."

He handed over the bouquet of roses.

Shang Mu took the rose. Perhaps because the color was too bright, a faint red tint was also imprinted on his cheeks and behind his ears. He asked softly, "Aren't you on a business trip?"

Zhou Wangchuan said, "I'll take a flight early tomorrow morning and rush over."

They leaned against the door and whispered to each other. The classmates in the private room had already started to make a lot of noise, with whistles echoing one after another, and everyone encouraged Zhou Wangchuan to sing.

Zhou Wangchuan chose a song called "Faith." His voice was deep and deep, and it sang with great affection. While he sang, he kept looking at Shang Mu with a gentle smile.

Shang Mu lowered his head and didn't look at him. He just took a rose from the bouquet and held it in his hand, gently stroking the petals with his fingertips.

That night they were in a corner of the private room, talking about love, so loud that they had to be close together to hear each other. They whispered in each other's ears, drank from the same cup, and exchanged a kiss from time to time.

Then they went to the hotel. Their first intimate encounter was tender and intoxicating. The alcohol slowed the passage of time, and the air was filled with tenderness and tenderness.

In the following years, Zhou Wangchuan recalled that scene countless times - Shang Mu walked towards him through the crowd, stepping through the noise all the way.

Now he thought, maybe it was just a beautiful dream.

Fu Nian's voice brought him back to consciousness: "...By the way, Dr. Zhou, do you want me to teach you? About the position and strength that Xiao Mu likes..." He was a little drunk, and his words became more and more outrageous.

Zhou Wangchuan's face was as dark as water. He stretched out two fingers to pinch Fu Nian's wrist. He knew the human skeleton and structure very well. With just a light pinch, Fu Nian let out a scream of pain, and his arm slipped from Shang Mu's shoulder.

Fu Nian's eyes widened, and he was about to fight back, but was stopped by Shang Mu's cold words: "Go away."

The others also noticed something was wrong, and a colleague came to pull Fu Nian away. The others turned up the volume of the music, leaving space for the two people at the door.

Zhou Wangchuan said softly, "I'm sorry."

Shang Mu looked at him and said, "At least he was right about one thing just now. People like us should really find people like us."

The two had argued countless times over practical issues, but had never proposed breaking up, either openly or covertly. This was the first time Shang Mu had brought up this topic.

Zhou Wangchuan was speechless. His fingertips touched the small wooden box in his pocket. He took it out and handed it over, saying, "This is a Mid-Autumn Festival gift from my mother. She said you would like it."

Shang Mu paused for two seconds, then slowly reached out to take the small wooden box. He asked, "Do you have anything else to say?"

Zhou Wangchuan has a lot to say.

But he remembered what Grandma Xu had said before she died: "People always come alone and leave alone." The beginning and the end were already determined, so the process didn't seem that important.

He recalled the quarrels and cold wars.

He recalled the backs of people leaving indifferently one after another.

Finally, he thought of the bouquet of roses on the restaurant table. Once vibrant and vibrant, they had lost their moisture and withered because no one cared. Eventually, the waiter tossed them into the trash along with the leftovers, ending up in the city's landfill.

A colleague was sitting on a high stool, passionately yelling into the microphone, which was the song "Faith".

"I love you because I am loyal to myself and to my belief in love..."

Zhou Wangchuan said slowly: "Go home and let's talk."

Shang Mu finally went home with him.

They both left early and returned late, leaving the house unchanged from when they left. Daffodils were blooming gracefully under the moonlight, and freshly washed clothes were hung out to dry on the balcony. The thin blanket they had used together was neatly folded and placed on the sofa.

Shang Mu must have drunk some wine, as his face was slightly red. He sat on the sofa with his head slightly lowered, making it difficult to see his expression.

Zhou Wangchuan poured hot water for him.

Shang Mu didn't answer, but just said: "You must have wanted to break up with me a long time ago, right?"

The word "break up" appeared openly between the two for the first time.

Zhou Wangchuan said: "No."

He really hadn't thought about it. He knew they would break up one day. But he never actively thought about it, not even on those days when they were constantly arguing and exhausted.

Shang Mu added: "You should have had enough of me a long time ago."

Zhou Wangchuan still answered: "No."

Shang Mu was silent for a moment, then laughed coldly: "Do you still remember what you were like in college?"

Shang Mu had asked this question the night they slept in each other's arms on the sofa. Zhou Wangchuan didn't understand what he meant then, but now, as their eyes met, he suddenly understood.

In college, he was the affluent, ambitious senior. He was in a good mood every day. He was occasionally witty, occasionally funny, and even delivered stand-up comedy when he felt like it. He always played patients with a deadpan attitude, scaring his classmates into taking better care of their health. On the school hospital's rating app, eight out of ten comments about him were: "Senior, you're so funny." "Senior, you're so funny, hahaha..."

But now...

Now he was trembling with fear, treading on thin ice, afraid that he might not do something right. This made him a boring person. He couldn't remember how long it had been since he had joked or teased others. He was always steady and mature, and every word he said was filled with boring concern.

Zhou Wangchuan said, "I'm sorry."

He paused and said, "There is something I want to explain to you."

"Regarding your father... I contacted someone at the prison a few days ago, and it's been handled. You don't need to worry about it anymore."

Shang Mu immediately sat up straight, his face full of anger and the fire in his eyes about to burst out.

"Listen to my explanation first." Zhou Wangchuan said.

He told me about the boning knife and then said gently, "I didn't dare let him see you. I was afraid he might hurt you. Even if there was only a one in ten thousand chance of such harm, I couldn't bear it. It doesn't matter if you're angry with me. But I won't regret this matter."

The anger on Shang Mu's face receded a little, and he said with a look of scrutiny, "You've done more than just that."

"Indeed," Zhou Wangchuan said calmly. "After I gave him the one million, I arranged for someone to follow him. He won a fortune in the casino and was feeling very proud when someone I arranged for him to play a big game and lose everything. His huge fortune was wiped out in an instant. He couldn't bear it anymore and pulled out a knife to hurt someone. He was arrested and imprisoned for intentional injury."

Shang Mu said: "But at that time, we were not dating. Why did you do this for me?"

Yeah, why?

Because of the vulnerability he showed?

Because he was his patient?

Is it because he is better looking than the other patients?

Is it because of Zhou Wangchuan’s kind heart to save all living beings?

Was it because he used his coquettishness and weakness to keep this extremely kind senior?

But any relationship that is not based on love cannot last long, let alone cheap sympathy.

He had already anticipated how Zhou Wangchuan would answer. The answer would definitely be tactful and gentle, talking about everything in the world except love.

Yes, he had a miserable life, having lost his mother at a young age and suffered domestic violence from his father. He had to work early to support himself and pay for his tuition.

But he didn't want Zhou Wangchuan to pity him.

He didn't want Zhou Wangchuan to stay because of his background. If he didn't stay because of love, he would rather not have him.

Thinking of this, Shang Mu stood up suddenly and said irritably: "Stop talking."

He thought of that summer, in that dark, deserted alley, when he, his hands covered in blood, grabbed Zhou Wangchuan and begged him in a trembling voice not to save the people on the ground. Then he was grabbed by the wrist, led out of the alley, and into the human world.

If it were any of Zhou Wangchuan's former patients, he would probably do the same thing. The only difference is that he is probably better looking than those people.

But the face will age, just like the rose will wither.

Zhou Wangchuan stood up with him and said, "I'm sorry, I couldn't satisfy your hobby." His voice was hoarse.

He thought back to the past. Shang Mu had probably seen a hint of his hidden affection, which was why he agreed to date him. He had kept him with his obsession and care for six years, but faced with an unsolvable disagreement, they would eventually part ways.

Shang Mu stared at him expressionlessly: "There's nothing to be sorry about. I can find someone else."

He paused, and finally said, "Then let's break up."

He remembered a song he had requested two hours ago, which he had been playing on repeat recently.

I break your heart so you don't break mine.