Chapter 16
The temperature in the car dropped to zero.
Zhou Wangchuan looked at Shang Mu. He felt that the other party was like a hedgehog covered with sharp spines, vigilantly and indifferently resisting the approach of the outside world.
He said: "The problem needs to be addressed at its root, otherwise it will only be a temporary solution. I just think that seeing a psychiatrist might be helpful."
Shang Mu had calmed down. He looked at Zhou Wangchuan and saw the familiar concern and worry in his eyes. It was a typical doctor's look, kind and gentle, guiding the patient to reveal the crux of the problem so that he could prescribe the right medicine.
He hated that look.
The look in his eyes was no different from the one he gave to any other patient.
Zhou Wangchuan added, "Seeing a psychologist isn't as scary as you think. It's just about relaxing and chatting. Some people go see a psychologist when they're stressed out at work, can't sleep at night, or are facing a major decision. Just treat it as a chat and consultation. If it doesn't work, we'll think of other options."
He patiently guided and enlightened.
Shang Mu's heart sank little by little. He didn't want this kind of concern, and he didn't want to expose those scars to the sun at all.
He wanted Zhou Wangchuan to love him, not pity him. But he was so picky. He didn't want condescending love, charity love. He wanted equal love, passionate love.
He wants love that can spark when their eyes meet.
But that kind of love has long been worn out in repeated quarrels.
Zhou Wangchuan asked patiently, "What do you think?"
Shang Mu retracted his gaze and said calmly: "This is your answer."
"If you are not satisfied, we can discuss and work out a plan together," said Zhou Wangchuan.
Shang Mu smiled slowly and said, "Then there's nothing more to say."
He unbuckled his seatbelt, pushed the door open, and after getting out of the car, he held onto the door and said, "Fu Nian should still be upstairs. I'll go find him."
Zhou Wangchuan frowned and looked at him.
Shang Mu continued, "What's the point of tearing up a business card? He's my current colleague, and I have as many business cards as he wants."
"Besides, he's not the only one. There are so many people there. If I just make a phone call, countless people will be willing to come."
After he finished speaking, he turned and left without looking back.
Zhou Wangchuan took a deep breath, his fingers subconsciously lowering the car window, about to call out to the departing figure. The words rolled back in his throat several times, but he swallowed them down with difficulty.
The figure passed through the entire shade of trees, entered the automatically opening and closing double glass doors, entered the elevator, and finally disappeared.
Zhou Wangchuan slowly withdrew his gaze. He probably had no right to keep her.
From the very beginning, he had forced this relationship. Back then, he was naive and reckless, always believing that the world was full of infinite possibilities and that countless people were waiting to be saved. He offered endless kindness without expecting anything in return.
Except for Shang Mu.
He hoped Shang Mu could return his love, even if it was only one tenth of it.
But he was too arrogant.
He thought he had saved Shang Mu from disaster, but after all these years, everything had been wasted. He had been carefully maintaining this shaky relationship, trying to keep her with every possible care and concern, but now, there was no going back.
Zhou Wangchuan lit a cigarette, smoked it slowly, and drove to the hospital.
The nurse on duty greeted him in surprise when she saw him: "Doctor Zhou, you're here? You're not supposed to be on duty tonight!"
Zhou Wangchuan smiled and said, "I'm free, so I came to take a look."
The nurse was ordering takeout and asked him, "Have you eaten yet? Do you want me to help you order takeout?"
"Thank you, but no thanks." Zhou Wangchuan asked again, "How was Bed 8 during the afternoon rounds?"
Upon hearing this, the nurse shook her head and said in a low voice: "He had been in a coma before, but suddenly woke up this afternoon and looked energetic. I'm afraid..." She didn't continue.
Zhou Wangchuan understood what she meant. He was afraid that it was just a last gasp and wouldn't last much longer.
Bed eight holds a 75-year-old grandmother named Xu. Her children refused to support her, so she lives alone. One day, she collapsed and was taken to the hospital by a neighbor, who discovered she was in the advanced stages of cancer. She has no health insurance, no money, and her children are unable to contact her. Her condition is so dire that even surgery would only delay her recovery.
But Zhou Wangchuan still paid her medical expenses and served as the surgeon who performed the operation on her.
When I pushed the door open, Grandma Xu was leaning against the head of the bed. Her hair had already turned completely white, and she was so thin that she looked like a ghost, but her eyes were unusually bright.
"Doctor Zhou, come and sit down." She greeted Zhou Wangchuan kindly.
Zhou Wangchuan pulled a chair over and sat down, then asked her, "How do you feel?"
Grandma Xu said, "It's the best I've ever seen." She added, "I want to have an apple."
Her teeth had long since fallen out, and her bodily functions had largely vanished, relying entirely on intravenous drips to maintain her vital signs. But Zhou Wangchuan still sent someone to buy apples.
After buying the apples, Zhou Wangchuan peeled them with a fruit knife, cut them into pieces of equal size, and placed them on a white plate.
Grandma Xu picked up a piece of apple and held it in her toothless mouth, savoring its flavor. She said, "Dr. Zhou, you still haven't said thank you, have you? Even though I didn't live long after the surgery and spent most of my time sleeping, I'm still alive. Being alive is good."
Zhou Wangchuan was silent for a moment, then smiled and said, "Your children will come to visit you in a few days."
He was actually lying. Before entering the ward, he contacted Grandma Xu's children again. One of them simply hung up the phone, another told them to talk to their eldest son, not him. Another, after hearing that Grandma Xu had no inheritance, refused to come.
Grandma Xu was unusually calm: "It doesn't matter. People always come alone and go alone."
After talking so much, she gradually became tired and closed her eyes.
Zhou Wangchuan left the ward and sat down on a bench in the corridor.
There were few people in the corridor. At the end, there was a flickering ceiling light. Only nurses came in and out from time to time.
When he just graduated and started working, he was an incurable idealist who always believed that medicine could save everything and give people hope and joy. When he faced the death of a patient for the first time, he told Shang Mu about his ideal -
"My ideal is to be a traveling doctor, traveling the world, saving lives, and leaving after I've done all I can. After I leave, we'll never see each other again in this life, leaving life and death behind. Then I'll only feel the joy of saving lives, not the helplessness of witnessing them die."
At that time, Shang Mu looked at him strangely and said, "Isn't being a doctor supposed to be about witnessing life and death? There's nothing to be sad about."
He couldn't remember what they said afterwards, he only remembered that they were lingering until late at night, with the round moon hanging by the window.
Thinking of this, he took out his cell phone and dialed the number. He expected to hear a busy tone, but there was no such a tone. After a few rings, the other party picked up the phone.
Zhou Wangchuan said, "Is it over? I'll pick you up."
He knew that after they met, there would most likely be quarrels and cold wars, but the habits, consideration and care he had developed over the years had already been engraved into his behavior and could not be easily changed.
Shang Mu's lazy voice came from the other end of the phone: "If you want to come, just come."
When Zhou Wangchuan arrived at the hotel, Shang Mu was not the only one in the room.
After not seeing each other for many years, Fu Nian was obviously much more mature than before. He extended his hand to Zhou Wangchuan and said, "Dr. Zhou, nice to meet you."
Zhou Wangchuan nodded to him, looked at Shang Mu who was sitting beside the bed, and said, "Go home."
Shang Mu put out his cigarette in the ashtray and said with a smile, "My old classmate and I haven't seen each other for many years. We're planning to go out for dinner and chat. Do you want to join us?"
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