Chapter 15
"Now, go to the hotel and practice with me."
The cold words fell into the silent bedroom, seeming to freeze the entire room. Even the moonlight by the window became stiff and cold.
All that was left was the visibly excited voice on the other end of the line: "Sure, which hotel?"
Shang Mu pursed his lips and stared at Zhou Wangchuan without saying a word.
Until the question came again from the other end of the phone, Zhou Wangchuan took a deep breath, took Shang Mu's phone, and said in a deep voice: "He's not going."
After saying that, he hung up the phone neatly.
"Who said I wouldn't go?"
Shang Mu started to put on his clothes, but Zhou Wangchuan grabbed his wrist.
"Let's talk."
"There's nothing to talk about. I just want to take action, not talk." Shang Mu easily broke free from his shackles and reached for his cell phone, but Zhou Wangchuan put the phone further away.
Zhou Wangchuan said, "Don't go. It's two in the morning now. If you go, it will take at least two hours. You will feel uncomfortable after it's over and won't be able to sleep. People can't go without sleep."
Shang Mu had already put on his clothes and pants and looked at him coldly: "So what?"
"Don't go." Zhou Wangchuan held his hand, interlocked his fingers with his, and repeated it again.
Shang Mu lowered his eyes to look at his interlocked fingers and said softly, "Tonight, if you want to keep me, there is only one way. Beat me up."
Zhou Wangchuan just remained silent.
Shang Mu began to pry open his fingers one by one, his movements slow but firm. When he reached the last one, Zhou Wangchuan reached out and pulled him into his arms, biting his lips hard.
Their hot breaths intertwined, Shang Mu gasped rapidly and pushed him hard, but Zhou Wangchuan held his waist and hugged him tighter.
After the kiss, Shang Mu opened his eyes and saw a pair of eyes full of entanglement and pain.
The two of them stared at each other in silence, their six years together having become so familiar with each other's every look and expression. In silence, they exchanged opinions and expressed their respective positions.
Finally, Zhou Wangchuan closed his eyes and whispered, "Let me think about it."
He had been firm and unequivocal in his rejection over the years, but now he had finally taken a step back.
Shang Mu stared at him: "How long?"
"I will give you the answer tomorrow," Zhou Wangchuan said, his voice a little hoarse.
After a while, Shang Mu said, "Okay."
He added, "Give me back my phone."
Zhou Wangchuan, however, held the phone tightly, took Shang Mu's hand, unlocked the screen with his fingerprint, and deleted the call record.
Then his finger accidentally touched the horizontal line at the bottom, and the phone exited the call log interface and returned to the desktop.
Shang Mu suddenly sat up straight, as if afraid that he would discover something, and snatched the phone back.
Zhou Wangchuan asked: "What's wrong?"
Shang Mu pursed his lips, turned off the screen of his phone and put it under his pillow: "Nothing."
Zhou Wangchuan didn't think much about it. He picked up the business card on the bed and tore it into pieces until he could no longer piece together the phone number. Then he threw the scraps into the trash can.
"Go to sleep."
He turned around and saw Shang Mu taking off his clothes. His clothes were turned up, and the collar of his white sweater was stuck to his neck. Zhou Wangchuan reached out to help him take it off and smoothed his hair.
The room returned to darkness and silence.
The next morning, Zhou Wangchuan sent Shang Mu to the company. Before getting off the car, Shang Mu said, "My patience is limited. If you can't give me an answer today, then I can only go find him."
Zhou Wangchuan said, "I'll pick you up after get off work."
Shang Mu looked at him steadily for a while, then turned and left.
Zhou Wangchuan drove aimlessly. He didn't have work today, so he wasn't in a hurry to get to the hospital. The morning rush hour was heavy, with cars stopping and starting. At a five-way intersection, he waited three times before finally getting through the red light.
He saw the old man staggering across the sidewalk, the child crying loudly, and the girl blushing and shyly taking the rose that the boy handed to her.
After circling the city several times, the car stopped in front of a courtyard. He subconsciously drove to his parents' house.
Cheng Yunxuan was coming down from upstairs. She was wearing a beautiful low-key dress and delicate light makeup.
Zhou Wangchuan shouted, "Mom."
Cheng Yunxuan wasn't surprised to see him. She just smiled and said, "Not working today? I just happened to be going out."
"Having tea and chatting with Aunt Li and the others again?" Zhou Wangchuan said with a smile, "It's so late now. You'll miss lunch if you go."
"Then let's have lunch!" Cheng Yunxuan said, "I'm just worried that my clothes aren't pretty enough. You don't know, my old sisters are all very good at dressing up!"
"Don't worry, your clothes will definitely be the best looking." Zhou Wangchuan complimented her skillfully, "And even if you wear a Zhongshan suit and old Beijing cloth shoes, you will definitely outshine the others."
Cheng Yunxuan laughed at him and said, "Come on, you're even poorer than your dad!"
She added with some pride, "But, the dress was designed by Xiao Mu, so it must be the most beautiful. Here, there's also a necklace. Come and take a look. Does it look good?"
It was a diamond and sapphire necklace inlaid with irregular rice-sized pearls, which sparkled in the sunlight.
"It looks good." Zhou Wangchuan said sincerely.
"Oh, right..." Cheng Yunxuan said as she changed her shoes at the door, as if remembering something. "I really like this necklace that Xiao Mu designed for me. I asked the craftsman to make a bracelet according to the design, suitable for boys, and I plan to give it to him. Will he come during the Mid-Autumn Festival?"
Zhou Wangchuan was silent for a moment, then smiled and said, "I think so."
"That's good." Cheng Yunxuan added, "You finally get to go home, why don't you spend some tea and some chess with your dad? He's upstairs basking in the sun."
She pushed the door open and was about to leave when Zhou Wangchuan called her softly, "Mom."
He asked, “Would you do something that goes against your values?”
Cheng Yunxuan stopped and looked at him: "That depends on what it is."
"If you don't do it, it may lead to the breakdown of an intimate relationship," Zhou Wangchuan said.
Cheng Yunxuan looked at him quietly, and after a while she said, "Son, I think you're going in the wrong direction."
She said: "I don't know what you mean by violating values, but in an intimate relationship, if two people are united, there will be no problems that cannot be solved. So I think the problem is not the violation of values, but the relationship itself."
Zhou Wangchuan stared at her in a daze.
Cheng Yunxuan came over and helped him straighten his clothes. She said gently, "You're still young, and you're still in the process of figuring out many things. It's okay. You have to experience them one by one to have a complete life. Whether it's good or bad, it's just a process."
After she left, Zhou Wangchuan went to the bedroom on the second floor. He had lived here before graduating from college and moved out after getting a job. In the bedroom, he kept all the certificates, medals, and banners he had received during his college years.
In the center of the wall hangs a photo of him and the dean of the medical school. On his graduation day, he wore his bachelor's cap and listened to the dean's encouragement: "Study hard for medical skills and cultivate a kind heart."
The group photo was surrounded by banners, most of which were given by classmates.
The first time he received a banner, he was both amused and annoyed. A classmate had been coughing all night and couldn't sleep, convinced he had lung cancer. He came to the school hospital in tears. Zhou Wangchuan told him it was bronchitis, but he refused to believe it. When the medicine finally cured him, he rushed to present a banner that read, "Dr. Zhou, with his skillful hands and compassionate heart, cures lung cancer." Worst of all, the classmate even boasted around school, "Dr. Zhou from the school hospital cured my lung cancer."
This was the first banner he received. Although its content was laughable, he hung it solemnly in the room.
Later there was a second time, a third time... until the entire wall was covered with silk banners. Cheng Yunxuan customized a special ebony box for him, and the silk banners that could not be hung were properly stored.
Zhou Wangchuan scanned all the silk banners on the wall, then unfolded the stored banners one by one and examined them carefully. He looked at every certificate he had obtained during his university years, and finally he stroked the gold-stamped words on his degree certificate.
"A doctor who is not kind and compassionate cannot be trusted; who is not intelligent and knowledgeable cannot be appointed; who is not honest and upright cannot be trusted."
When he returned to the hospital, Zhou Wangchuan had calmed down a lot.
He turned on the office computer and logged into a forum that was full of like-minded people.
Two weeks ago, after registering his account, he posted a question: "Why do you have this hobby?" So far, he has received over a hundred replies. Some are giving, some are receiving, and each reply is different.
Zhou Wangchuan looked at them one by one.
"When I was little, I watched the scene in Journey to the West where Monkey King wreaked havoc in Princess Iron Fan's belly. Princess Iron Fan clutched her stomach and screamed in pain. I loved it back then, and as I grew older... well, you know."
"It's innate, I guess. Ever since I was little, I've liked seeing other people have stomachaches, especially good-looking boys and girls. It gives me sexual urges."
"When I was in elementary school, I got punched in the stomach during a fight. It was surprisingly good, and I couldn't stop after that."
"I don't know. Maybe I'm just torturing him for fun because I'm bored."
…
…
Zhou Wangchuan wrote down these reasons, sorting them into categories. Then he opened a folder full of papers and read through the papers he'd read many times. As he read, he occasionally paused in thought, crossing out options on the notebook until only one remained: "psychological compensation."
Due to some kind of stimulation in childhood, either physical or psychological, pain is needed to cover up something deeper.
But Zhou Wangchuan didn't know what that thing was.
He glanced at his watch and saw that there was still half an hour before the end of get off work.
When he drove to the downstairs of Shang Mu's company, Shang Mu was already waiting for him on the roadside. As soon as the car stopped, he opened the passenger door and got in. He asked directly, "What's your answer?"
Zhou Wangchuan said: "I have come up with a method that may be able to completely solve this problem."
Shang Mu raised his eyebrows in confusion: "You say."
"I conducted research on your forum and attributed people with this hobby to a certain group. I also read some relevant papers and combined them with my understanding of you..."
Zhou Wangchuan paused, looked at him, and said, "I think you suffered some kind of hurt or stimulation in your childhood, which is why you need to use violence and pain to create a kind of obsession, and then cover up... perhaps to cover up another kind of pain, or perhaps, to cover up some painful memory."
As he spoke, Shang Mu's face gradually turned pale, his fingers slowly clenched the cushion, and he looked dazed, as if he was trapped in some painful memory.
Zhou Wangchuan said, "I think this is a psychological disorder that needs treatment. I've read some books about psychotherapy, and I think I could give it a try. Or maybe I can go see a psychiatrist with you."
Shang Mu's face was completely drained of color, and he stared at him blankly. After a moment, he gave him a strange smile: "Is this the solution you came up with? You mean to say I'm sick?"
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