While I was chatting with An'an, I had already let go of a lot of things... Actually, Lu Jia is not hateful, what is hateful is human nature... I also have my reasons. I was idle for a whole year and did not think about going abroad to see her, let alone staying there to accompany her.

As I said, I no longer love her. My feelings for her are only based on past gratitude, so it's hard for me to have that kind of reckless passion for her.

It's said that women are sensitive, and Lu Jia couldn't possibly be unaware of this, so she inevitably became disheartened and disappointed in me; that's why she had that one night of indulgence with that man.

I shouldn't be angry, because the root of the problem lies with me... Lu Jia and I shouldn't have made that agreement in the first place. It was that agreement that gave her hope, and it was that hope that brought her the pain of being bound...

Because of this agreement, I also faced many constraints.

Looking at it this way, this ending is actually a kind of relief... I'm free, and she's free too.

...

An'an is a really nice woman. Not only did she come to see me, but before she left, she also got me a bowl of my favorite congee with preserved egg and lean pork from the hospital cafeteria. She said she has a lot of free time and I can ask her for help if I need anything.

Even she could tell that I was an unlikable person, so I didn't have anyone around me who could help me with things.

...

Not long after An'an left, I fell asleep... I was woken up by a phone ringing. Before answering, I checked the time; it was already 11:30 p.m. It was Lao Mi calling. I knew without a doubt what he was going to say.

There's no need to run away from this, because there has to be a resolution between Lu Jia and me... My thinking is very clear: if Lu Jia doesn't tell them the real reason, I will take full responsibility.

After letting out a heavy sigh, I pressed the answer button. Old Mi's voice was very deep. He asked, "What happened between you and Lu Jia... We called her, and she said that you two had broken up. We asked her why, but she wouldn't say."

"Dad...would you believe me if I said we have incompatible values ​​and are not compatible for each other?"

"Don't believe my nonsense... If you can't be together, why did you two date for three years in Shanghai?..."

“I knew you wouldn’t believe me… I don’t know how to tell you this… I made a mistake, I let her down.”

"What outrageous thing have you done?"

After a moment of contemplation, I replied, "When she wasn't around, I couldn't stand the loneliness... so I slept with another woman... that woman found her... she couldn't accept it, so we broke up."

Old Mi on the other end of the phone was silent for a long time before angrily cursing, "How can you be so shameless... Even so, Lu Jia still defends you and won't tell us anything... Is it worth it, you beast?"

"Go ahead and curse... After you're done cursing..."

I hope you can understand, understand me…

"Don't give me that nonsense... Think about how Lu Jia treated you back then... If you have any conscience at all, go apologize to her right now... Write her a guarantee that you'll never do such a bastard thing again!"

"Dad, is an apology useful? ... There are only two kinds of cheating: zero times or countless times... My heart is no longer with her."

Aren't you afraid of being struck by lightning?

"Relationships between men and women aren't as simple as they were in your generation... Dad, you really have to understand me!"

"I don't want to waste time talking to you on the phone... I heard from Lu Jia that you were hit by a car, so your mother and I are heading to Dali tomorrow..."

"If you're here just to insult me, then don't come at all..."

My mother, who hadn't said a word until now, probably snatched the phone from Lao Mi's hand, and then said to me in a choked voice, "Son, let's put aside your relationship with Lu Jia for now... Your father and I are just worried about you. You are our flesh and blood, how could we not love you?"

I remained silent, tears welling up in my eyes... The reason I was so conflicted, afraid to let go, was because I was afraid of betraying their deep affection... But I was really tired, I didn't want to struggle in this emotional whirlpool where there was no joy... So, I turned myself into a bastard in front of them; deep down, I really couldn't bring myself to hold onto the idea of ​​living with Lu Jia after she had betrayed me.

I should be free now.

...

After ending the call with Lao Mi, I couldn't fall asleep. I kept thinking about random things until three or four in the morning before finally falling asleep again... When I woke up again, it was already 10:30 in the morning.

I sat on the edge of the bed and pulled the urinal out from under the bed; it was empty, probably because the nurse had emptied it again. The nurse is such a good person, much better than those friends with whom I've shared life and death.

I was especially disappointed in Zhou San. Even if he was angry with me because of Yang Sisi's departure, he didn't have to treat me like this... I really couldn't take care of myself anymore. His indifference was really devastating to my mood.

He doesn't need to come anymore, because Lao Mi and my mother will arrive in Dali before evening, and they can't just ignore my life and death like these friends.

I was very hungry, and I felt embarrassed to ask An'an, who came to visit me last night, to buy me something to eat... I just took her words as politeness, because she is a woman with a man, and if we visit each other too often, it could easily cause misunderstandings, so I was already very grateful to her for coming to see me once.

...

I called Nicole, and she said she went to Lijiang to work on the opening of a bar there; I also called Chen Jin, and he was busy with the bar's renovation, so he didn't have time to come over.

I feel like they conspired to isolate me during this difficult time.

I have no choice, only

I was able to order takeout using my phone.

While I was waiting, the nurse came to give me an IV drip as usual... In the meantime, I asked her, "You work in a hospital, so you must know a lot of professional caregivers who work as hospital companions, right?"

"Yes, we know each other. What's wrong?"

"I feel bad troubling you to empty my bedpan every day... I'd better hire a caregiver, I'll be staying in the hospital for quite a while!"

The nurse paused for a moment, then looked at me and replied, "You're overthinking it... How could we possibly empty a patient's bedpan?!"

"If you didn't spill it... then who did it?"

(End of this chapter)