Chapter 94: Xie Heng left, leaving with memories

The Imperial Medical Bureau was exceptionally deserted in late autumn. The ginkgo leaves in the courtyard were covered in golden dust. Xie Heng, carrying his packed medicine box, took one last look at the familiar plaque. The three vermilion characters "Imperial Medical Bureau" shone faintly in the setting sun. Once upon a time, he had prepared and brewed medicine for Yun Zhi here, covering countless hidden wounds for her. But now, he was alone, carrying his medicine box, preparing to leave this capital city filled with memories.

"Thank you, Imperial Physician. Are you really not considering this anymore? His Majesty is still waiting for your reply." A colleague chased out, holding a letter of retention signed by the Emperor himself, his tone filled with regret. "Your medical skills are unmatched in the entire Imperial Hospital. It would be a shame to see you leave."

Xie Heng stopped, turned around and smiled. His smile was slightly tired, yet gentle. "Thank you for your kindness, sir, but I have made up my mind. I have stayed in the capital for too long. It is time to leave."

What he didn't say was that Yun Zhi's shadow could be seen on every street and in every corner of the capital - the osmanthus cake shop on West Street was a place she used to like to go to; he had once accompanied her to buy ginger to treat colds at the herb stall in East Lane; even the old locust tree in the backyard of the Imperial Medical Bureau remembered that she had secretly come to find him and asked him, "Brother Xie, do you have any medicine that can make people forget the pain?"

These memories, like fine needles, pricked his heart every day after Yun Zhi's death. Staying in the capital would only make him suffer more. It would be better for him to travel far away and fulfill the wish she once said: "If I could leave here one day, I would travel around the world, see different scenery, and do my part to help those who can't afford medical treatment."

Seeing his resolute attitude, his colleagues stopped trying to persuade him. Instead, they sighed and handed him a cloth bag: "Here are the things you left at the pharmacy. Take them all."

Xie Heng took the cloth bag, his fingertips touching the outline of the hard object inside, and his heart tightened slightly. He opened the bag, revealing a small celadon medicine bottle with a tiny osmanthus flower engraved on the bottle. It was a gift from Yun Zhi. She had said, "Brother Xie is always in the pharmacy. This bottle can hold some refreshing mint pills. You can use them."

As his fingertips caressed the osmanthus flowers on the bottle, Xie Heng's eyes warmed slightly. He carefully placed the medicine bottle in his arms, pressing it against his chest, as if this would bring him closer to her. "Thank you, sir." He bowed to his colleague, turned around, and with the medicine box on his back, he walked out of the gate of the Imperial Medical Bureau step by step, never looking back.

On the day he left the capital, it was dawn and the city gates had just opened. Xie Heng didn't ride a horse or a carriage, but simply walked slowly along the official road, carrying his medicine box on his back. He didn't say where he was going, nor did he tell anyone where he was going. Before leaving, he only visited Yun Zhi's villa.

The courtyard had long been locked, and the vines on the wall had mostly withered. Through the crack in the door, one could see the weeds inside the courtyard, taller than a person. Xie Heng stood outside the door, watching quietly for a long time, as if bidding farewell to the past. He pulled a neatly folded plain handkerchief from his sleeve and gently placed it on the stone steps at the door—it was the handkerchief that Yun Zhi had left in his clinic that year, and it still lingered with the faint scent of osmanthus. He had never been willing to throw it away.

"Zhi'er, I'm leaving." He whispered to the closed courtyard door, his voice as soft as the wind. "You said you wanted to travel around the world, I'll go for you. Don't worry, I will remember what you said, practice medicine well, and live a good life."

After saying this, he turned and walked away, step by step, into the morning light. The poplar leaves on both sides of the official road rustled in the wind, as if responding to his words, or sighing for his departure.

Xie Heng walked slowly, stopping at every town he came across, setting up a makeshift medicine stall on a street corner to treat the common people. He didn't charge the poor for consultations, and sometimes even gave them medicine for free. The common people loved this gentle, elegant doctor, but few knew that he harbored a secret love for someone he would never see again.

Passing through a small town in the south of the Yangtze River, peach blossoms were in full bloom. The streets were covered in pink and white blossoms, and the wind blew, sending petals alighting on his medicine box, reminiscent of Yun Zhi's words back then: "The peach blossoms of Jiangnan must be incredibly beautiful." Xie Heng sat behind his medicine stall, watching the people passing by, when he suddenly spotted a young girl in plain clothes, holding a string of candied haws. She ran by with a smile, her eyes and features reminiscent of a young Yun Zhi.

His heart suddenly tightened, and he subconsciously stood up, wanting to shout out the name hidden in his heart, but he quickly reacted, slowly sat down, and a bitter smile appeared at the corner of his mouth.

"Doctor, what's wrong with you? Are you feeling unwell?" The lady selling tea nearby handed over a cup of hot tea and asked with concern.

"It's okay, thank you, Auntie." Xie Heng took the hot tea. The warm touch on his fingertips could not warm the coldness in his heart. "I just remembered an old friend."

The old lady sighed and didn't ask any more questions. Xie Heng drank hot tea, looking at the peach blossoms outside the window, and remembered that year when Yun Zhi stood under the peach tree in the capital and said to him with a smile, "Brother Xie, when I am free in the future, let's go to Jiangnan to see the peach blossoms together, okay?" At that time, her eyes were still filled with anticipation for the future, but now, he was the only one left, standing under the peach tree in Jiangnan, watching the tree full of flowers for her.

As the days passed, Xie Heng traveled to many places, from the south of the Yangtze River to the north of the Great Wall, from bustling towns to remote mountain villages. He changed his medicine chest one after another, and his blue shirt was washed until it turned pale, but he always carried the celadon medicine bottle on his chest. The mint pills inside were something he had never been willing to use, like a treasured last memory of Yun Zhi.

Every year on Yunzhi's death anniversary, he would return to a small hill near the capital—where he had built a cenotaph for Yunzhi. There was no tombstone, only a laurel tree, Yunzhi's favorite tree, planted in front of the grave.

He would pick fresh osmanthus flowers in advance and bring them in a cloth bag. When he arrived at the tomb, he would scatter the flowers on the grave. Then, sitting under the osmanthus tree, he would take out a celadon medicine bottle, pour out a mint pill, and smell it on the tip of his nose, as if talking to Yunzhi: "Zhi'er, I'm here to see you. This year I went to the northern frontier. The people there are very simple and honest. I cured their cold, and they gave me a bag of dried wild chrysanthemums as a gift. I brought it to you."

He would sit there from early morning till sunset, chattering about his experiences of the past year, the people he met, the scenery he saw, how he had learned a new prescription, and how he missed her very much.

"Zhi'er, are you okay over there? Did you get to eat the osmanthus cake you love? Did you see the peach blossoms you longed to see?" He touched the trunk of the osmanthus tree, a barely perceptible sob in his voice. "Sometimes I wonder, if you were still here, would you walk these roads with me and see these scenery?"

The wind rustled through the osmanthus branches, making a rustling sound, as if Yun Zhi was responding to him. Xie Heng smiled, but tears slowly welled up in his eyes. He knew these were just wishful thinking. Yun Zhi would never come back. The girl who would smile and call him "Brother Xie" and secretly confide her grievances to him was forever frozen in time on the morning when the palace wall collapsed.

As the sun set, Xie Heng stood up, took one last look at the cenotaph, and gently scattered the remaining osmanthus flowers in front of the grave: "Zhi'er, it's time for me to go. I'll come see you again this time next year."

He walked down the hill, medicine box on his back. The setting sun stretched his shadow long, casting it on the leaf-strewn ground, like an unhealable wound, etched into his life for the rest of his life.

He knew that he would keep walking, seeing the world for Yunzhi and fulfilling her unfulfilled wish. But he also knew that the place in his heart would always be empty. The girl named Yunzhi would always remain in his memory, becoming the most gentle and regretful pain in his life.

Just like now, he was walking on the path under the setting sun, the celadon medicine bottle in his pocket swaying gently, and a subtle sound came from it, as if Yun Zhi whispered in his ear, "Thank you, brother. Take care on your journey."

He stopped and said softly towards the setting sun, "Take care, Zhi'er."

The fragrance of osmanthus flowers was carried in the wind, drifting over the corners of his clothes. It was like a gentle farewell, or a long longing that would accompany him through every spring and autumn in the future.