Chapter 43 I miss her so much, I miss her so much, it seems like she...

Fu Yu had no idea how long her "temporary" would last. So far, she hadn't even glanced at him on the entire return trip. Fortunately, she wasn't the type to resort to the cold shoulder; it was at best a cold shoulder. Even before boarding the high-speed train, she still looked completely uninspired and uninterested, her eyes squinting, feigning sleep, not giving him a chance to speak. After about half an hour, she realized that feigning sleep wouldn't work, so she pulled out her phone and ordered food, including one for him, speaking in a natural tone.

It was clear she intended to quietly move on from this matter, and she hoped he would cooperate. She pointed to the vast rice paddies outside the car and said, "How magnificent!" Then, entranced, she plunged headfirst into the scenery. The scene was indeed beautiful: the fading sunset, the rolling hills, and her translucent reflection in the car window. But he had been exiled to the frontier, and his underlying sadness was too great to share her appreciation.

Before he kissed her, he actually had no premeditation. He didn't know when, the desire to get closer to her went from being on the verge of coming out to being realized at an unexpected moment without realizing the immensity of the situation.

Tang Ke misjudged Fu Yu's thoughts, assuming his occasional thoughtfulness, followed by his subsequent nonchalance, was a reflection of his own apprehension, a careful consideration of the situation, a decision to frame his "favor" appropriately, a move driven by emotion and restrained by propriety. In reality, he wasn't so much patient as he was waiting, waiting for the passage of time to see if her perspective would shift more in his favor.

The balloon of secret love was popped by a kiss that touched the water lightly. Fu Yu was panicked and at a loss, his blood was boiling and his heart was pounding, but he did not regret it.

He has kept this thought hidden for so long and has found so many excuses for it, but the only reason he hasn't been labeled a "coward" is that he dares to do it and take responsibility for it.

He couldn't pretend it hadn't happened.

Fu Yu must make it clear and must convey his "like" in 4K high-definition lossless format. This is his "way of ninja".

——Bullshit.

Tang Ke's deflection was flawless, leaving him with nowhere to go. Upon returning home, Tang Ke promptly packed his luggage, even helping him unpack his clothes and toiletries and put them back in their proper places. She mumbled, "You're welcome!" before taking off her coat and socks and gracefully heading into the bathroom for a shower.

He sat on the sofa and waited, doing nothing. The projector was not turned on and his cell phone was on silent. This was the best way to wait for something to happen.

After waiting for a long time for her to come out of the shower, he didn't even receive a surprised look from her and was completely ignored.

"Tang Ke."

His voice was particularly clear in the quiet living room, and even the slight anger in the syllables could be heard.

Tang Ke paused, pretending to be calm and unconcerned, "I'm Ma Dongmei."

"Ma Dongmei, I have something to tell you."

Tang Ke was only a few steps away from the bedroom, but she couldn't move her legs at all, as if she was frozen by his harsh and cold tone.

"Just say it, why are you so fierce?"

She turned around and met a pair of obscure eyes.

Fu Yu patted his side, motioning her to come and sit next to him.

Tang Ke was unmoved, "Just say it."

"Then I'll go over." Fu Yu stood up.

"No!" Tang Ke raised his hand and said, "You are in danger now!"

"No kiss you."

"......" Tang Ke's face suddenly turned red, "I know what you want to say, just stand there and say it, and listen to me first!"

Fu Yu nodded.

"Uh, I know what you want to say, uh, but, that, but, let's just say..." Tang Ke hesitated and couldn't say anything for a long time.

It was Fu Yu who took the initiative and that led to her outburst.

"I like you." Fu Yu expressed his feelings concisely.

He couldn't utter touching love words, and he had no idea what sweetness was. He felt sorry for it, but he didn't know that such direct expression of his feelings was the most damaging to Tang Ke.

"Aa ...

Tang Ke squatted down with distorted features, scratching her head frantically. The shame and confusion in her chest were pulling at all her nerves.

"Are you going to destroy this family?!"

The tone she used could be used to describe the teammates who were developing poorly in the game of "King of Glory". She felt helpless, complaining, and anxious, yet still maintained her composure.

"Are you going to destroy this family?!" she kept repeating, scratching her head until she managed to utter the next sentence, "We are on the same household registration book!"

"?"

An angle never imagined.

Fu Yu walked up to her silently. She squatted, and he sat down, tilting his head and looking up at her expression.

Tang Ke was startled and fell backwards, almost hitting her head against the wall. Fortunately, Fu Yu reached out in time and supported the back of her head.

He slowly withdrew his hand, slowly giving her space to react.

Tang Ke's voice stammered, "Anyway! A bamboo door is a bamboo door, a wooden door is a wooden door. There's no way anything can happen between us!"

After saying that, she crawled into the bedroom on all fours like a gecko in danger, and the fallen towel was like her broken tail, lying there pitifully.

Fu Yu sighed, picked up the wet towel, stood at the door of her room, and said to the closed door, "If you need time to think, then I won't mention this again these days, but you can't pretend you haven't heard it, and you can't pretend that my confession didn't happen. Tang Ke, you can think about it for as long as you want, whether it's troubled or something else, don't consider my feelings, whatever you think of is what it is."

The door remained silently closed. He lowered his eyes and left.

......

In the following days, Tang Ke got up very early in the morning. Almost as soon as Fu Yu got up, she had already left, leaving him his usual breakfast and a text message.

"Don't send me to work yet! You should get some more sleep!"

Fuck you, I'm not hiding from you, I just need to be calmer when I'm alone, otherwise I can't control myself and start arguing with you ()"

Fu Yu ate breakfast and replied to her: "Something about the same household registration book..."

Tank: "Isn't that clever? It's the same idea, isn't it?"

ForU: "We're both here, sis. Is this how the law works?"

Tank: "Look, you're calling me sister."

ForU: "..."

"No"

Tank: "I'm at work, I won't talk to you anymore."

Without the job of sending Tang Ke to work, Fu Yu suddenly felt that the mornings were so empty. Logically, he still had a well-paid job waiting for him to work hard, but he still seemed to be hit hard by the unemployment and became devastated.

After breakfast, he had nothing to do at home, so he wandered around the village, wanting to chat with Tang Ke, but she was at work at the moment. If he went to the company early, he would undoubtedly be asking for trouble. Should he take a nap? He couldn't sleep.

Adults like him who don't smoke or drink and remember the law on the protection of minors until adulthood, when they feel depressed, can only grab a handful of rice and put it in their pockets to feed sparrows in the square.

Obviously, this is not feasible as there is no rice at home.

So during this period, Fu Yu could only keep swallowing his impetuous unrequited love and keep ruminating on it until he had to go out and become a lifeless office animal.

The development team became doubly busy after the holiday because of changes in the market and news hotspots. The product team came up with new ideas and called meetings with various departments.

The conference room was packed with people, and since there weren't enough seats, some people had to stand and listen. When Fu Yu walked in, laptop in hand, the product team leader left a chair for him.

He didn't sit down. The team leader told him not to be polite, but he shook his head and said, "It will be more convenient to stand when the quarrel comes later."

“…” The team leader’s face was full of colors.

Is he making a veiled comment? Everyone knows that the product team leader, when he gets anxious in a meeting, can't help but stand up and debate, spitting out saliva.

Fu Yu rarely spoke so sharply, and he did so without warning, surprising everyone.

"Let's start." He said, his emotions still stable, as if the person who just got close to him and fired the big shot was not him.

Fu Yu is impeccable in business, and his temper is excellent. Not the kind of gentle and kind one, but one who sticks to the facts, doesn't put on airs, and doesn't constantly refute arguments. It's good to discuss whatever comes up, and you won't feel suppressed when communicating with him.

However, everyone could still feel the invisible pressure from him, which came from his strength that was harder than diamond, something that could not be restrained.

Therefore, his opinion is very important. A project or a decision must be approved by him before it can proceed.

"no."

When Fu Yu said the two words that made everyone present gasp, only Wu Jiang, who was wearing a mask, coughed up phlegm so loudly that it shook the earth.

During the National Day holiday, he and his girlfriend went to Tibet for a trip. They traveled all the way to Lhasa, but both fell ill on the way back. They somehow caught the flu, so they asked for leave from the company and had to hang a drip for two days before their fever went down.

The coughing gradually subsided, and the conference room fell into silence. Fu Yu half-leaned and half-sat on the table, looking at the PPT with a frown in thought, and suddenly said, "Well said."

Wu Jiang: “?”

Everyone: “?”

"It's not that I can't, it's just that I can't do it yet, but I can learn."

When Fu Yu made up his mind, his expression was somewhat indifferent, and his tone was light, as if all it took to lift the earth was a lever, and once he figured out the principle, he could try to do it. No one present had his courage.

The product team leader said, "Really? You just said it couldn't be done and that the existing technical architecture didn't support it. How come it's working now? We don't have anyone with relevant experience on the team. I understand what you're saying. If it's difficult, we can think of another way to solve it. We can keep the format, or expand the NPC corpus. While that's a bit clumsy, a qualitative change will lead to a quantitative change, and the effect will be similar."

The team leader argued with Fu Yu when he said no, but then backed off when he said yes. If it were anyone else, the team leader would never do that. It was strange. He seemed afraid that if Fu Yu actually did it, his idea would seem insignificant.

"If you don't have relevant experience, create it. You have to give it a try. You don't want such a good idea to be just an empty shell." Fu Yu turned and bent over, one hand on the table, the other hand tapping the keyboard. He typed very quickly with one hand, his knuckles flying. "Send me a copy of the PPT later. We'll have a meeting within the development team tomorrow afternoon to discuss how to proceed. If everything goes well, we'll make a simplified model this month. If not, break it."

The team members who understood laughed, and the heavy atmosphere eased a little. They were really busy and really tired, and playing with code memes was one of the few ways they could find joy in the midst of hardship.

After the meeting, Fu Yu stayed in the conference room to write the minutes for his own use. He did not have to write the minutes that needed to be submitted to the leaders and the system. That was the job of other team members. His copy was purely for his own use, and only he could understand it. The content was disjointed and those who didn't know would think it was some stream-of-consciousness novel.

Wu Jiang returned, hooked her arm around his neck, and said, "Brother, I feel like you've changed a lot after this vacation."

Fu Yu raised his glasses without looking away, "Yes, I'm reborn."

"Don't give me that." Wu Jiang pulled a chair and sat down. "Did something happen to you? You don't look well. Didn't you go out and relax with your wife during the holiday?"

"Yes, I went to Hangzhou for two days."

"Aren't you having fun? You've been feeling pretty low these past few days."

"Can the air pressure be as low as in Tibet?" Fu Yu glanced at him. "Why haven't you recovered from your cold yet?"

Wu Jiang sniffed and said, "It's almost healed, almost healed."

Fu Yu closed his laptop and distanced himself from him, "Don't infect me."

Hurt by his cold attitude, Wu Jiang clutched her chest and said, "I care about you so much, and you?! You're so ungrateful!"

As the two walked out of the conference room one after the other, Fu Yu realized that he was not as calm as he had imagined, and the waiting process was very difficult.

On the first day, he got off work on time at 8 o'clock in the evening. When he got home, Tang Ke sensed something and went back to his room early. But he seemed to think it was a bit cruel to deliberately not stay in the same space with him, so he came out from time to time to pour him water and talk to him.

"Do we have to stand so far away?" he asked at that time.

Tang Ke shrugged: "I haven't thought about it yet, you can't force me."

"We can even make a phone call from this distance." There was a painting of Along the River During the Qingming Festival between them.

Unexpectedly, this sentence gave Tang Ke an inspiration. She took out her cell phone and dialed the number on the spot, "Then call."

Never mind, as long as I'm happy to talk to him, Fu Yu thought.

In the next few days, he worked overtime until very late and sent her a message: "Come back at 11 o'clock, leave the light on."

Tank: "Received/Salute"

ForU: "Return at 12 o'clock and leave the lights on."

Tank: "Received/Salute"

ForU: "Half past eleven, lights."

Tank: "Roger that."

ForU: "."

Tank: "/salute"

Fu Yu hadn't specified a time today, so it would definitely be after eleven. Tang Ke then laid on the sofa and played games without hesitation. This person's so-called "consideration" was actually something she had already considered. She didn't reject Fu Yu's feelings and had a certain fondness for him. The key point was that she would be completely different when it came to love. Only she knew how difficult it was to become an adult with a touch of humor in her practicality, a touch of abstraction in her humor, and a touch of rationality in her abstraction. Love would definitely tip the scales, and then the business empire she had built—no, agricultural empire, no, the family empire she had built—would crumble.

If she responded to her feelings, she couldn't handle her marriage; if she handled her marriage, she couldn't respond to her feelings. She was in a dilemma. So she hoped for a flash of inspiration, waiting for the crisp and loud "ding——" sound when the microwave finished heating.

At this critical moment, Tang Ke had overlooked something. Counting the days, she had already moved into Fu Yu's house for over a month. The terms she had negotiated with the former landlord were that she wouldn't take back her deposit, but would keep the house and decide whether to return it after a month. She had forgotten to contact the former landlord, and when the deadline came, he came looking for her.

Tang Ke picked up the phone, lowered his head and looked at the ground, pacing around the living room in confusion.

"Can you stay a little longer?"

"It's empty, almost empty. I haven't dealt with some big pieces, like the chairs and the floor-length mirror yet."

"What date is it? I forgot. I'll go look for the contract now."

"Uncle, it's number nine... Uncle, I know what you mean... Hey, hey, hey, I understand."

"Uncle, I'll pay an extra month's rent, and you can just not rent out my room for now, okay? And don't ask anyone to clean it, I'll move the rest myself. Oh, I'm back, of course!"

"Yes, there's no need to go through so much trouble without signing a contract. I'll transfer the money shortly. You can just use this as a buffer period, okay? Hey, hey, okay. Thank you, uncle!"

Having secured her former landlord's support, Tang Ke breathed a sigh of relief. Paying an extra month's rent might seem like a loss, but in reality, it was—a loss, a 100% loss. Her desperate decision was truly terrible. To leave herself a comfortable escape hatch, she'd even tightened her belt.

She turned around in frustration and ran into Fu Yu who appeared in the living room without anyone noticing. She was almost scared to death.

"Oh my god! I was so scared. When did you come back?" She kept clearing her chest.

"When you pulled the leaves of my money tree." Fu Yu took in her paleness, and his complexion wasn't healthy either. He asked, "Who were you talking to on the phone just now?"

When Tang Ke was concentrating on making a phone call, she didn't pay attention to the things around her and unconsciously made some repetitive and boring actions. She didn't mean to offend the money tree.

"No one." She laughed. "Why are you back so early today?"

"Well, I'm a little tired today." Fu Yu said, took off his watch, and returned to the room with a gloomy look on his face, as if he had no interest in talking to her.

Tang Ke hesitated to speak, wanting to offer some concern, but before he could even think of the words, he disappeared. He was exhausted from working overtime, and dark circles appeared under his eyes.

She couldn't help but feel a tinge of guilt. Fu Yu's dedication to her from beginning to end, despite all the time and energy he'd invested in her, had at least played the role of husband with unwavering dedication. Yet, she was so focused on her own happiness, never actively providing him with anything of practical value. She only cared about playing and being funny, not even noticing his growing fatigue.

But what if all this was caused by her? Her delays, her hesitations, her inability to find a way to have the best of both worlds and therefore her unwillingness to let go of either, all of this was too much for him.

Her fear of uncertainty should not be borne by another person.

......

Fu Yu fell asleep as soon as he touched the bed. He heard a faint knock on the door in a daze, but he couldn't open his eyes. Sweat kept coming out of his forehead and his whole body was hot. His shirt stuck to his skin, restricting him and making it difficult for him to breathe.

The knocking stopped and the nightmare surfaced.

He dreamed of a maze he could never conquer. He accepted most games, but he couldn't stand the maze: the high walls, the winding paths, the repetitive environments, the footprints of failure before and after him. If he were just a bean, a pixel, then being unable to escape this maze would be an endless nightmare.

He dreamed that he would die alone, and that he had pawned all his human emotions in exchange for a glimpse of his beloved. After they met, they parted ways.

He wondered if it was because he was too greedy that he ended up in an unhappy state. This world is always repeating itself, and people are always gathering and dispersing. He was crazy and stubborn, and after leaving the ivory tower, he still delusionally believed that his will was the will of the world.

He forgot that if the distance was too far, no echo would be heard.

......

Fu Yu was awakened by an urgent phone call. He looked at the time and saw that it was already ten o'clock the next morning. He was late, and Wu Jiang asked him why he hadn't come to the company yet. The whole team was waiting for him to set a meeting time.

Fu Yu pressed his solar plexus and felt dizzy. He hadn't had time to take a shower last night and had been sweating all night, so his body was very sticky.

"I might have a fever. Let's postpone the meeting to next week," he said.

Wu Jiang shouted, "No way! Did I really infect you? Have you been to the hospital?"

"Not yet. Let's talk later." Fu Yu turned on the speaker, then took off his shirt and pants and said, "Tell Lao Liu that I'll apply for leave later."

"Okay, then you should have a good rest. Where is Tang Ke? Is she next to you?" Wu Jiang asked.

Fu Yu: "She went to work."

"Ah, can you do it alone?"

"It's okay, hanging up."

Fu Yu walked out of the room, holding on to the wall, suppressing the discomfort in his chest, and went to the bathroom to take a shower. Not long after, he broke out in sweat again.

He lay on the sofa, his vision darkening. Tang Ke had sent him several messages last night, but he hadn't seen them.

"You don't look well, are you okay?"

"Would you like some water?"

"I won't disturb you if you sleep. If you feel uncomfortable in the middle of the night, you can wake me up."

There was another message she sent this morning.

"Breakfast is on the table. I'm going to work."

"I'm sleeping at work tonight, no need to wait for me."

Fu Yu deleted and revised it, leaving only one sentence: "Okay."

He couldn't drive in his condition, and had no desire to walk. He took antipyretics and endured the whole day, but his fever rose to 38 degrees at night.

He curled up on the sofa. The empty room and his uncomfortable physical condition made him extremely anxious.

What's life like living alone? Wake up, eat, go to work, get off work, eat, play games, sleep. If you're sick, go to the hospital, but the injections hurt like a rooster pecking you. If you run out of medicine, order takeout, which also sells prescription medication.

No, no, he can't do it alone.

I miss her so much, I miss her so much, it seems like she...

She was leaving, like tonight, and she wouldn't be coming back, and he didn't want that.

He could have endured lonely nights, endured being sick, endured illogical dreams, but now he couldn't do it. What he couldn't endure the most was not having her by his side.

"Fu Yu?!"

"Why are you sleeping in the living room?"

"What’s wrong with you?"

"Are you crying?"

When Tang Ke returned home after finishing her shift, it was just dawn. She tiptoed to open the door, only to see a thin body curled up on the sofa.

She walked over, pushed aside his wet bangs, and found a deep tear mark at the corner of his eye. Her heart skipped a beat.

Fu Yu stayed up all night, waking up and falling asleep repeatedly, his consciousness blurred and his forehead hopelessly hot. He raised his hand to search for the source of the sound, trying to catch his dream without any sense of direction.

Boom!

He fell heavily off the sofa, crushing someone. He sniffed deeply at the familiar smell in the crook of his neck.

It seems to be her, it seems to be her.

He hugged Tang Ke tightly, clamped his legs tightly together, rubbed her hard into his ribs, and rubbed his head against her cheek, like a trapped animal that had just been rescued.

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The author has something to say: Men who know how to act like a spoiled child have the best life...