15

Of course, high schools also have security guards.

Li Zitong spoke to two students who were walking out of the school together, and after discussing for a while, he borrowed two school uniform jackets.

"Aren't they afraid that you won't return it?"

"I've paid the full deposit, a sum unimaginable for a high school student. Even if I can't return it, they won't feel wronged. They'll just think of it as a parent cleaning a hole in it and losing it."

"Is it necessary to work so hard?" I always felt that her emotions were a little too crazy.

"Of course, it's a rare opportunity."

It was dusk, and the streets were bathed in a crimson glow, looking like they had been filtered through an old-fashioned film. We donned our school uniforms and blended in with the students returning for evening study, deceiving the security guard.

The campus I hadn't seen for so long was even older, the teaching buildings shabbier, nothing compared to the schools in Shanghai. Evening self-study hadn't officially begun yet, and students were scattered in groups of two or three in the corridors, on the playground, and in the cafeteria. A leisurely break, like a mixture of dawn and dusk, flowed by. We observed them with nostalgia, and they observed us. As we walked under the streetlights, we were often met with sidelong glances, accompanied by hushed conversations.

"The playground and the teaching building are both much smaller than I remember," Li Zitong sighed. "Is this an illusion?"

“Because we’ve grown up.”

"Really? But I was about the same height as I am now when I was a freshman in high school."

"Growing up isn't just about outward appearances; it's also about inner strengths. When I was in high school, I thought the world was mine. But as an adult, I looked around and realized it was just a small, self-enclosed world. This is true for ordinary people like us, and even more so for someone like you who's been a Hollywood director."

"Huh? How do you know this? I wouldn't easily mention that experience to anyone else."

"More than a month ago, I happened to watch an episode of 'Art Career'."

"No wonder. I actually didn't want to participate in the interview at all, but my agency wouldn't allow it. They prepared the script in advance and insisted that I mention that experience. They also said that everyone in this industry wants to have an international image, which is very helpful in raising their value."

"I think it's a great story, very touching. You overcame countless difficulties and obstacles in a foreign country, but persevered with your passion for art until the film became a huge success. I was deeply moved after listening to it, and even wanted to learn some art, like playing guitar."

Li Zitong sighed deeply. "That was a processed and embellished version of the story. The truth is not that inspiring at all. I was just a minor figure in the crew. Shortly after filming began, I was quickly marginalized due to conflicts over language, identity, and values. The final product had nothing to do with me; I was just a nominal name in the credits. You'd better not take any of the stories in that episode seriously. My life is far from glamorous. In fact, it's more like a dirty, dark quagmire."

"If a big shot like you says that, ordinary people must be ashamed. In comparison, my life over the past thirteen years has been so boring, like a chewed piece of gum."

"I'm not being modest. I'm just describing the reality." She paused. "You probably can't imagine, but I once attempted suicide."

I looked into her eyes in confusion, a look that spoke the truth.

"Through channels that were hardly legal, I finally managed to get a sufficient amount of sleeping pills. I also wrote my suicide note, planning to resign and hand over my work the next day before taking the pills. But that night, I had a dream about you."

"I?"

"Well, I dreamed I was sitting in a waiting room. People were coming and going, and everyone's faces were blurry. I knew I could never go anywhere again, and this was the end of my life. Then you appeared and sat down next to me. You asked me to look up at the train schedule. You said that trains were running all the time, and we were free and could go anywhere. After waking up, I threw the medicine bottle into the trash can. Because I knew that as long as I was alive, we would meet again sooner or later."

I felt my heart suddenly stop, and then my chest pounded like an earthquake. What was going on? Did I hear correctly? The meaning of her words was clear, but it was unbelievable. If this was her true feeling, then for the past thirteen years...

"Hey, there's something I don't understand." She looked me in the eye. Stars were already twinkling in the sky, and her figure was coated in a dim halo.

"Why didn't you write to me anymore after you graduated from high school?"

That was the question I should have asked. I'd always wanted to ask, but never aloud, why didn't she write to me anymore? But she looked grave, and it seemed like things weren't as simple as they seemed.

"Is that so?" She shook her head as if shaking off a heavy thought. "You didn't receive all those letters I wrote, did you? Each one longer than the last. If you stacked them all up, they'd probably be as thick as the collected works of Marcel Proust. Of course, the content was pretty boring, full of daily trivialities and whining about love and romance. You stopped writing after you graduated from high school, but I still mailed them one by one. At the time, I thought you were angry because I didn't go to Shanghai to study at university as promised."

"But why..." I heard the wind on campus rustling the leaves, as if the excited, surprised audience were whispering. Could there be a problem with the mailing address? But the address of the Li family's old house has not changed. Besides, I have never received a returned mail.

"That man must have been obstructing the flow of correspondence, blocking all communication. He's never done anything bad in front of me, and he's hidden it so well that I've never been able to see through his true nature."

I recalled that when I was in college, I had tried to contact Li Zitong many times but was blocked. It seemed that it was all directly or indirectly related to Li Tianci. I suddenly understood.

"He seemed to have feelings for me that went beyond family. After realizing this, I gradually avoided him. When did he begin to realize that we weren't related by blood..." She sighed, "Let's not talk about this anymore. The atmosphere tonight is already heavy enough."

Someone was yelling something across the playground. I thought it had nothing to do with us, but then they stalked straight toward us. Looking around, I realized the students who had been everywhere had vanished. The campus was completely silent, most of the windows in the teaching buildings were brightly lit, and no voices could be heard. Before I knew it, the bell for evening study had rung.

Judging by his build and attire, the newcomer looked like an adult, probably a teacher. He thought we were two students skipping evening study. I grabbed Li Zitong and ran.

The abandoned old teaching building hadn't been demolished yet. I taught Li Zitong how to climb in through the side window, how to avoid the damaged east staircase and go up to the second floor via the west staircase. After all that hard work, the pursuers were long gone.

We held hands, panting, and this playful escape was both thrilling and amusing, and it helped to soothe our nerves.

"You are so familiar with this place." Li Zitong looked around curiously at the dilapidated environment.

"Sometimes I come here to explore with Gao Yang." In fact, he came here to study the secret room mechanism.

"Why didn't you invite me to such an interesting event?"

"It's a shame. It would have been nice if you could have come along. It's a pity we'll have to pretend not to know each other at school."

"Yeah, really."

No, we did talk once. I remember calling her out of the classroom in front of everyone, trying to figure out why she was lying. It caused a huge uproar, and I had to fight with Gao Yang.

"There's something I've always cared about," I said. "Back in school, when I asked you for the truth, you lied to me, didn't you? I don't mind it anymore, but..."

She raised her index finger and put it on her lips. "Please, can you pretend you don't know and continue to be deceived by me?"

I was stunned.

She smiled, though it seemed difficult to articulate. Unlike her childhood, she was now a smooth and tactful person, seemingly well-versed in all the ways of smiling. "I know this is strange, and I really shouldn't be hiding anything from you. But as I said earlier, my past is a bottomless quagmire, filled with hypocritical lies and dirty secrets. One step in and you'll be stuck, never to escape. If I can help it, I don't want to go near that place again."

I thought about the videotapes in the attic.

"I understand. I will never ask about your past again."

"Really? I'm so happy. Would you allow me to ask you this formally?" The artificial smile on her face disappeared, and a faint light gleamed in her pupils. "I have so many unspeakable secrets, but I don't want to explain any of them to you clearly. Even if death comes, as long as you don't ask, I won't take the initiative to speak out. Even so, are you willing to tolerate me and accept me?"

I tried to dodge the question with grown-up talk. But I could tell she had a lot in her eyes. Finally, I decided to speak my mind. "Of course. No matter what you've been through, to me, you're still you, the girl I've watched thousands of hours of movies with."

This answer seemed to have won her a lot. Her brows relaxed completely, she smiled sweetly, and then bowed deeply to me solemnly.

"Thank you for your care. Please give me your guidance for the rest of my life."

I panicked, "Wait, that's not what I meant... No, I didn't expect you to mean that..."

She raised her head. I cautiously observed her expression, but she was still smiling, a smile as bright as the sun shining through after a long period of rain.

"I was just kidding, but you took it seriously," she said.

We climbed out of the abandoned corridor window in silence and headed towards the school gate. The night was deep, the starry sky was bright, and the air was slightly chilly. I felt terribly uncomfortable, like I'd misunderstood the essay topic on a Chinese language exam. Just as I was about to speak, Li Zitong nudged my shoulder. "I heard it was a joke. Do you feel a little regretful?"

"It's a pity indeed." I bumped her with my shoulder. "What about you?"

"A little bit."

I looked into Li Zitong's eyes, and she looked back at me. Our gazes met, a tacit understanding established. I put my arm around her shoulders, and she slumped against my arm, eyes closed. Her long eyelashes were crystal clear in the moonlight, each one trembling slightly.

A strong white light hit me, forcing me to close my eyes. "You two, come here!" The voice sounded old and familiar.

The janitor from our school days hadn't retired yet. He mistook us, who were wearing school uniforms, for high school students and took us to the security office.

"Which class are you from?" He put down the flashlight on the table, turned to look at us, and was stunned.

The security room was well-lit. I knew that even if Li Zitong's appearance was barely acceptable, I definitely didn't look like a high school student. I quickly explained to the old janitor: We're graduates of this high school. We stumbled in here because we missed our alma mater. We're leaving now, absolutely no trouble.

But Li Zitong's performance was far from reassuring. She patted the old janitor's shoulder and laughed so hard she couldn't straighten her back. "You think I look like a high school student? Thank you so much for the compliment."

The old janitor stared at her suspiciously, "Have I seen you somewhere before?"

It was probably on my phone or on TV. I couldn't help but sweat on my forehead.

Li Zitong, however, was not nervous at all. "We've already said we're alumni."

After much persuasion from me, the old school worker didn't call the police. Li Zitong was just causing trouble the whole time, talking nonsense and then revealing his own name. Fortunately, the old school worker ignored it as crazy talk.

After leaving school, evening self-study classes were over. I wanted to return the school uniform I borrowed, but trying to find someone in the bustling crowd of students was like looking for a needle in a haystack, so I had to give up.

I complained to Li Zitong, "Tonight's commotion is too much! If the janitor really calls the police, wouldn't a public figure like you be all over the news right away?"

She turned a deaf ear, covered her mouth, and yawned lazily like a cat.

On my way home, I passed through a dim alley, the lights fading, the faulty streetlights flickering only occasionally like dying moths. Li Zitong grabbed my collar and pushed hard. Her strength was much greater than I'd expected, and I was caught off guard, pinned firmly against the shadows of the wall.

A strong smell of alcohol wafted into my mouth, and I realized she was far more drunk than she let on.

"I'm sorry to bother you. Don't you want to continue?" she asked, holding my shoulders.