The person who appeared in my dream wakes up...

As I stood in the narrow aisle waiting to disembark, I saw that familiar figure in front of me.

My mind suddenly went blank, as if all the strings had snapped. All the noise around me disappeared, as if someone had pressed the mute button on my world.

Only she and I remained in the vast white expanse.

Thump, thump, thump. The drum in my heart is about to be shattered.

I slowly moved forward, wanting to call her name, but I couldn't bring myself to speak. The closer I got to her back, the more flustered I became—how could I face her? Would she want to see me?

Thinking of this, I suddenly pulled my hand back, which I had originally reached out to touch her, and turned my back to her.

She probably doesn't want to see me again.

Suddenly, I felt her hand brush against my back through my long-sleeved hoodie, just like countless times before, expertly moving from my waist down to my shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. I felt as if a warm current had melted into me, merging into the undulating waves of the sea…

...

"Hey! Hey! Hey! What are you doing? What are you thinking about!"

I snapped out of my daze and saw Li You trying to take the milk tea I had brought her, but I wouldn't let go.

"……nothing."

What could I say? In front of everyone, in this entire office full of her good colleagues, I couldn't very well say that I had just had a romantic dream about my ex last night, and then today I came to have dinner with my childhood friend who's so busy with work that she barely has time to breathe, and on the way, I just happened to pass by a hospital room and glanced around and saw someone who looked remarkably like her.

It's so similar. Seeing this person's profile made me fully recall last night's dream.

But how could it be her?

Gu Wanlin is now far away from me, even by direct flight it would be a sixteen-hour journey. She lives her radiant life on the other side of the ocean, a life completely devoid of my involvement.

During their last phone call, she said, "Qingyi, since you don't want me anymore, I won't go back."

How could she possibly come back? How could she possibly be in the respiratory ward of H City? How could she be so seriously ill?

I had originally arranged to meet Li You at the hospital entrance so we could go out for dinner together. But this busy woman called me and said she had a patient who wasn't doing well and might have to work a little longer before she could leave. She asked if I wanted to come up to her office and wait for her, and if I could bring her a cup of milk tea on my way up.

Well, she's been my best friend since high school, so I simply bought a few more milk teas and brought them up to her colleague in the same office. They're all angels in white, and I'm offering my heartfelt greetings to them; it's an act of kindness.

I was carrying a milk tea, strolling past a hospital room, when I inadvertently saw a profile that looked remarkably like Gu Wanlin's through the glass window embedded in the door.

The caregiver was shaking the headboard of the bed. A small table had been set up on the bed, with a lunch tray provided by the hospital on it. The bed was slowly raised, and the person, with an oxygen tube still connected to her nose, had her eyes closed, her brows furrowed, and her face deathly pale. When the headboard was almost in a sitting position, her upper body seemed to fall uncontrollably to her right and forward. The caregiver quickly pressed her back against the headboard and was using a pillow to adjust her sitting position.

"Qingyi, wait a little longer. I'll leave after I finish writing these cases." Li You looked up at me apologetically from her desk. Seeing me gazing out the window in a daze, she waved her hand in front of my face: "What are you thinking about now, so engrossed?"

I'm thinking, she really looks like her, am I going crazy? That person is much, much thinner than Gu Wanlin in my memory.

Gu Wanlin has always been strict with himself. He carefully calculates the proportions of the three major nutrients in the food he eats every day. Even when he's busy with me, he makes sure to go to the gym three or four times a week, all to maintain his toned, slender, and smooth muscle lines.

The person was frighteningly thin; lying on the bed, they looked like a sheet of paper. How could it be her?

But then again, it's been five years since I last saw her, so I really don't know what she looks like now.

I shook my head, trying to banish that excessively thin figure from my mind, but the lines of that profile were just too similar.

So he tentatively asked, "Youyou, among the patients you've been dealing with lately, are there any with the surname Gu?"

Li You wrote furiously, replying to me as she did so, "Why are you asking this?"

I said it was nothing, I just passed by the ward and thought I saw someone I knew. It was just a fleeting moment, I was probably mistaken. I was just asking casually.

She rummaged through the pile of papers in her hand. "I don't have any here. Let me ask for you." She looked up and asked her colleague across from her, who was also raving about milk tea while burying her head in a pile of papers, "Dr. Zhang, do you have any patients with the surname Gu?"

Dr. Zhang frowned, adjusted his glasses, and thought seriously for a moment. "Hmm? I think so. It's only the beginning of winter, and we're so busy here. We're like a revolving door, taking patients in and letting them out every day. I forget patients' names as soon as I turn my head. Let me take a look..."

My heart sank.

Dr. Zhang tapped a form in front of him with his finger. "Hey, what's wrong with my memory? Bed 22, isn't this bed 22? Bed 22, Gu Wanlin."

Bed 22. Gu Wanlin.

My heart felt like it was being pulled by lead weights, plummeting straight into the depths of an ice cellar.

It really is her. What is she doing here? When did she get so thin?

I carefully recalled that fleeting glimpse—a urine bag was hanging at the foot of the bed, and a wheelchair was placed beside it. As the ward was about to disappear from my sight, I turned back for one last look: the caregiver was holding a spoon to her mouth.

Isn't this a respiratory ward? Why is she so sick? Do we need all this stuff?

I tried to steady my breathing, but I could still hear my voice trembling when I asked the question.

Is she very ill?

Dr. Zhang sighed. "Is this really someone you know?"

"It's alright now. It was quite scary when they admitted him; he had severe pneumonia and respiratory failure and stayed in the ICU for several days. But he's recovering well now, and I think he can be discharged in the next few days."

"However..."

Dr. Zhang turned around and looked at me seriously: "I usually don't need to say anything, but I've been here for so long and I haven't seen any of the family members of patient 22. Only one friend comes to visit often."

“Since she’s someone you know, if you can, you should try to persuade her more. Her injury is high up, which is affecting her breathing, and there’s nothing that can be done about it. She needs to try to be more positive and accept reality. She can’t keep neglecting herself like this. Look at what this serious illness has caused; all the time she’s spent on recovery has been wasted.”

As I watched the doctor's mouth open and close, it was as if cannonballs were being thrown and exploding in my ears, leaving me with nothing but sharp, booming sounds.

I don't understand what Dr. Zhang is saying. What do you mean by "high injury location" and "recovery"?

Dr. Zhang seemed a little embarrassed and asked me, "What kind of relationship do you two have? Don't you know about her situation?"

What kind of close relationship do we have? Countless times in the dark of night, we've embraced each other's burning bodies, kissing away the tears that welled up when we thought of parting.

"We won't separate, we won't, never." I remember listening to her soft sobs on the other end of the phone, comforting her with a heart full of pain.

Then we broke up. So easily.

Five years have passed, and I haven't seen her since.

Her business? What business of hers?

Dr. Zhang seemed even more embarrassed at this point, probably feeling that I wasn't particularly close to Gu Wanlin, and that she had said something she shouldn't have. So she replied that, in principle, it was a matter of patient privacy, and she couldn't disclose it. Since I was already there, she asked if I wanted her to pass on a message to Gu Wanlin, to see if it would be convenient for me to visit her.

How could I dare to see her so abruptly now? I blurted out, "No need, no need... We haven't seen each other in so long, it would be too abrupt to see her like this today. Let her rest well and recover first..."

Dr. Zhang said that was fine, and then continued to work diligently.

Li You noticed something was wrong with me, quickly finished what she was doing, and pulled me out of the office. I took a deep breath and turned to look at her. "How much do you know about bed 22? Can you tell me everything?"

Li You said that bed 22 was a special case, and even though she wasn't her attending physician, the doctors in the same department all knew her. What's your relationship with her? What kind of acquaintance are you?

I looked at Li You, and tears welled up in my eyes.

“What kind of acquaintance… Youyou, do you remember three years ago, we went to a music festival together, and we got really drunk the night we came back? I told you that I actually had a girlfriend in college whom I had been dating for three years. I only realized that I loved her more than I thought after I lost her, but she said she would hate me and that she would never come back.”

"But I saw her today."

Li You looked back at me and gasped, "So it was her."

My memory of what happened after that day is very vague. I don't remember how I stood by the roadside listening to Li You talk about Gu Wanlin's situation, nor do I remember how Li You helplessly comforted me as I squatted by the roadside crying.

All I remember is Li You telling me that Gu Wanlin was admitted with the recently prevalent flu virus. Actually, this situation wouldn't be too bad for other adults, but because she also has quadriplegia and her cervical spine injury already affected her breathing, her condition was particularly dangerous.

Li You said to Qingyi, "Since you've seen it all, I'll tell you the truth. Don't get too agitated. Actually, the entire respiratory department knows about Gu Wanlin's situation. It's quite rare to see a patient as severely injured as her. Her main problem isn't in our respiratory department; severe pneumonia is just a complication. Besides the cervical spinal cord injury causing quadriplegia, her right leg was also amputated at the thigh level. We all feel for her; she's very good-natured and cooperative, doing whatever she's asked, but she doesn't seem to take good care of her own body..."

Listening to Li You's words, my heart ached. I thought Gu Wanlin was living a wonderful life, full of vigor and pride, somewhere I couldn't see her. I thought she didn't need to look back at our past, because all she needed to do was move forward; she would find better relationships and a better lover. If she happened to think of me, and only of those happy memories, I would be happy enough. I won't pretend to be noble, but that was indeed one of my initial reasons for breaking up with her.

How could she have returned to this city she swore she would never come back to, lying there like a withered leaf, only to be found by me?

Ah Lin, my little girl. How did you get yourself into this state?