Chapter 64, Section □□: Rejecting Xu Xi means there's no need to follow Tai forever...

After saying that, all that could be heard on the phone was Xie Xingzhi's breathing.

Yu Kui didn't speak again. She lowered her eyes and looked at the dark night outside the window. Many fragmented memories floated into her mind, so many that she couldn't even figure out why she had said those words.

But the moment she spoke, her heart seemed to return to calm.

"I didn't know your thinking had changed," Xie Xingzhi finally said after a long pause. "I thought you wouldn't consider these things until you graduated from university..."

“I thought so too,” Yu Kui said softly, “but when Xu Xi appeared, I realized that feelings can’t wait. Waiting doesn’t actually change anything. I should move forward.”

“If I keep standing still and waiting for someone to come to me, how long will I have to wait?” Yu Kui said, “Won’t the person who comes also get tired? We’ll both be wasting each other’s time.”

"You can't prepare for relationships. Once you do, you'll miss out on a lot of time, and that time can never be relived."

Yu Kui only recently understood this issue; otherwise, she wouldn't have felt shaken when Xu Xi appeared.

Love should be given promptly, not waited for.

"Yu Kui, are you really happy with Xu Xi? Do you really have feelings for him?"

“Xie Xingzhi, you are just my friend,” Yu Kui closed her eyes and her voice turned a little cold: “You have no right to ask about my feelings. I explained to you properly before because I cherish this friendship, but you can’t keep questioning my decisions. You don’t have that right.”

"I'm sorry," the boy said in a low voice, "I was just a little worried..."

"Xu Xi, he gave up his life in town to open a shop at Yanning University for me. I don't know if this decision was difficult for him, but he chose to appear in my life and create the possibility of being with me... No matter how much I like him, I will value his pursuit of me."

Yu Kui said, "I don't know if you can understand, but apart from my family, no one has ever cared about me like this."

Upon hearing this, Xie Xingzhi fell silent again, seemingly unable to find any reason to persuade Yu Kui to calm down.

"Let's stop here for today," Yu Kui said, a little tired, seeing that he hadn't spoken. "I have to go to work tomorrow, so I need to rest."

“Yu Kui…” Xie Xingzhi called out to her, “If this is what you want, I wish you happiness.”

"Thank you," Yu Kui chuckled softly, "and I wish you happiness too. Goodbye."

"goodbye."

After hanging up the phone, Yu Kui sat by the window, looking at the lush money tree. Her fingers gently touched its branches and leaves, and her eyes became more and more serene.

Over the weekend, Yu Kui invited Xu Xi out for hot pot.

"Didn't you say you were going to look at the plants on my balcony?" Xu Xi said with a smile as she sat by the window. "I was even planning to cook for you."

“I suddenly changed my mind,” Yu Kui smiled. “I’ve been working overtime quite often lately, so I might have to go back to work.”

"You've worked so hard?" Xu Xi said with a touch of sympathy. "Why didn't you tell me about something so important? I had no idea."

"I can handle my work-related matters myself."

“But you look thinner than before,” Xu Xi said, looking into her eyes. “If I had known earlier, I would have brought you dinner tonight.”

“No need,” Yu Kui shook her head, “My roommate cooks every day.”

“Then eat more today,” Xu Xi said immediately. “I’ll prepare some more pastries for you to take back.”

"OK."

After ordering their food, Xu Xi talked about the plants on his balcony, "I scattered some wildflower seeds in the flower box before, and now a lot of cosmos and cornflowers have bloomed...the colors are very beautiful." He then showed Yu Kui photos on his phone, showing how well he had taken care of even the wildflowers.

"We were planning to have you stand in front and take some photos, but now we have to give up."

Yu Kui was stunned for a moment, and seeing his slightly disappointed expression, she sighed inwardly.

Since it was still early after dinner, the two went for a walk in a nearby park. The sun was setting, and the evening breeze carried a slight chill.

"Summer vacation is almost over, when do you plan to go back to school?" Xu Xi turned to look at Yu Kui.

"I'll go back after school starts," Yu Kui said, not planning to do an internship for too long. "I need to prepare for the postgraduate entrance exam later."

"Still at Yanning University?" Xu Xi wasn't surprised by her decision.

Yu Kui paused for a few seconds, then stopped and said, "I might... apply to schools abroad."

Xu Xi also stopped, his voice becoming somewhat hoarse with shock, "I haven't heard you mention this before."

“I’ve always had this plan,” Yu Kui said calmly, seemingly oblivious to his lapse in composure. “If I want to get into a good company, I need to pursue further studies in my major, but I haven’t told you that yet.”

“It’s okay,” Xu Xi quickly came to his senses and forced a smile, “I told you I wouldn’t influence any decisions you make, I can wait for you.”

Yu Kui finally looked into his eyes, "Xu Xi, this is not fair to you."

"There's no such thing as fairness in relationships," Xu Xi said subconsciously. "My liking for you doesn't mean I'm stopping you from moving towards a better future."

“That’s not what I meant,” Yu Kui said slowly. “I meant that it’s unfair to you if I can’t reciprocate your feelings in the same way.” And her future plans were only a small part of that.

Xu Xi stiffened. "Didn't I say before? I don't care about these things. As long as you give me a chance to get closer to you, our feelings can be cultivated, and we'll definitely get better and better in the future..."

"But I care."

Yu Kui was no longer hesitant; she was calm and composed. She looked directly into Xu Xi's eyes and said earnestly and resolutely, "I'm sorry, I can't give you the answer you want."

"I can't develop feelings for people I don't like."

If she hesitated at first because of Xu Xi's arrival, she now knows what she really wants.

She wants a relationship where both parties are in love, not one where one party makes concessions to accommodate the other.

What she wants is to work together and make progress together.

It's not about accepting another person's one-sided sacrifices without regard to time or cost, while you simply enjoy the benefits.

Feelings of being moved are not true feelings; they fade over time, leaving only exhaustion.

“Yu Kui…” Xu Xi was taken aback by her sudden rejection, completely unexpected that Yu Kui would say these things to him. He subconsciously said, “Having spent so much time together, I can tell you have feelings for me. We can be together. You don’t need to make a decision so quickly. I can give you time to adjust…”

“Having feelings is not love,” Yu Kui remained unmoved by his words and remained rational. “If I use this to be with you, it would not only be disrespectful to you, but also to myself.”

“I don’t want to waste each other’s time on this,” Yu Kui tried to put it more tactfully. “We shouldn’t define our relationship as ‘love’ either. That definition is too narrow. It only applies to two people who love each other. We should both find someone who truly fits that definition.”

Yu Kui looked at Xu Xi, "The sun is bright and warm, but the sunflower doesn't always have to look up at it. There are times when it bows its head and examines itself. It also wants to enjoy the quiet evening breeze, the clouds overhead, and the night after sunset..."

"Sunflowers are free; the sun is not their whole life."

Do you understand?

Xu Xi could understand, but he hadn't expected this answer. He looked at Yu Kui in front of him, his eyes gradually filled with sadness.

"I thought we were getting along very well..." Otherwise, he wouldn't have confessed to Yu Kui on that sunny afternoon.

But now he's messed it up.

"Why?" Xu Xi suppressed his emotions and asked in a low, hoarse voice, "Is it really because you don't like me?"

“I’m sorry.” Yu Kui did not avoid the question. “You are a good person with many good qualities, but I only have the affection of a friend for you, not the ‘heartbeat’ of a lover. Between finding someone who loves me and someone I love, I would rather be true to myself than deceive you with lies.”

"If I accept your confession, I will hurt you and get myself into internal conflict, which is not a responsible thing to do."

“You’re really wise,” Xu Xi tried to smile, but his expression just wouldn’t be cheerful. “I thought I still had a chance.” Yu Kui didn’t reply. Xu Xi said, “Now it seems I should have put pressure on you from the beginning. You’re much more mature and composed than I imagined.”

If Yu Kui weren't so mature, she would have accepted him long ago, and their relationship would only get better and better once they were in love.

But Yu Kui kept reflecting on herself. From the moment she hesitated, Xu Xi knew she was struggling, but he still thought she wouldn't refuse. But as it turned out, Yu Kui wasn't a girl who acted on impulse; she had her own understanding of relationships.

Hearing her earnest response to his doubts, Xu Xi's eyes were filled with disappointment.

He didn't regret coming to City B to find Yu Kui, but he regretted being too impulsive and not finding a more suitable opportunity.

"If I had known it would turn out this way, I should have approached you more slowly," Xu Xi said with deep regret. "Perhaps you wouldn't have been so resistant then."

"I'm sorry," Yu Kui said, "let's not contact each other anymore."

"Why?" Xu Xi tried to compose herself. "Although I understand your decision, we can still be friends even if we can't be lovers. I'm not the kind of person who gets stuck on things."

Seeing that his eyes were a little red, Yu Kui didn't say anything, but decided to reduce her contact with Xu Xi.

“Actually, I came to City B because of you,” Xu Xi said at this point. “I only said I was coming to open a shop because I was afraid you would feel guilty, but you should have noticed later.”

“I’m also very sorry,” Xu Xi said, looking at Yu Kui. “My decision on my own has put a lot of pressure on you. As someone who is several years older than you, I should feel even more guilty for making such a childish decision.”