Chapter 59

Nanyou eventually relented and granted a three-day leave.

Nanyou slammed the three-day leave slip on the table and said, "You can turn off your phone, but you have to come back alive."

Xu Li nodded, not daring to look up. She knew her manager's eyes were also red, but her makeup was too thick to tell.

At dusk, Tan Yuze's car was parked downstairs at the apartment building. Xu Li had taken three days off, and Tan Yuze came to pick her up. He took Xu Li's luggage, placed his palm on the back of her cold hand, and gently stroked it with his fingertips, as if to make sure she was really unharmed.

The only sound in the garage was the exhaust fan, its hum like the snoring of a giant beast. Xu Li pulled his hat brim low, dragging his 20-inch carry-on suitcase, the wheels making a hollow "click" as they rolled over the speed bumps.

Tan Yuze stood at the back of the car, not wearing sunglasses, only a black mask. He took the box, put it in the trunk with one hand, and with the other hand he grasped her wrist—not interlocking their fingers, but pressing his thumb against her protruding radius bone, as if checking her pulse.

"Are you cold?" he asked.

The cold air in the underground parking garage was mixed with the smell of exhaust fumes. Xu Li shook her head, but shivered. Tan Yuze unfolded the thin blanket in the back seat and wrapped it around her shoulders. The blanket had his usual woody scent, like dried pine needles dried in the sun.

The car door closed, reducing the outside incandescent light to a thin line. The car didn't start immediately. Tan Yuze sat in the driver's seat, but without his seatbelt, and turned to look at her. The warm light cast a soft shadow on his eyelashes.

"Can I hug you first?" he said.

Xu Li rested her forehead on his shoulder, smelling the faint scent of fabric softener on her T-shirt. The brim of her hat was digging painfully into his collarbone, but neither of them moved.

Half a minute later, he turned his face to the side, his lips brushing against her earlobe, and gently placed a kiss, like falling snow.

“Go home,” he said.

The car slid off the ground, the wipers swung. City lights blurred on the wet windshield, like icing sugar washed away by water. Xu Li was nestled in the back right seat, the seatbelt digging into her collarbone, the blanket pulled up to her chin. Tan Yuze held the steering wheel with his left hand, his right hand reaching behind him, palm up, fingers slightly bent.

At a red light, Tan Yuze unbuckled his seatbelt and leaned in to kiss her—not a plunder, but simply a kiss on her lips, like soothing a frightened bird. Xu Li closed her eyes, listening to her heartbeat slowly return to her chest.

She placed her hand on it, and his knuckles immediately closed.

The car stereo was playing an extremely old Cantonese song, "The Promise." It was Zhou Hui's version, and as soon as the piano prelude started, Xu Li's nose started to sting.

“I heard it in sixth grade,” she said in a hoarse voice.

Tan Yuze didn't turn around, but rubbed his thumb against her palm. "I know, you wrote about it on your blog."

That blog post was from eight years ago, before she debuted; her ID was "Li Li Fen Li" (黎梨分梨). He had read it so long ago.

The car passed the tollbooth, the rain stopped, but the sky was completely dark. The navigation showed that it was another forty minutes' drive to Tan Yuze's usual residence, a single-story villa with a yard, outside the outer ring road, where paparazzi rarely managed to stake out.

The rear seat lights went out, leaving only a faint blue glow from the dashboard. Xu Li threw off the blanket and climbed into the front passenger seat.

"Want to sit in the front?" he asked.

I want to be closer to you.

He reached out to fasten her seatbelt, the metal buckle clicking crisply in the quiet. Xu Li turned her head and saw a new scar on the back of his right hand, two centimeters long, light brown, from a prop knife cut he received during an action scene last month.

She touched him with her fingertips, and he didn't flinch. Instead, he handed the steering wheel to his left hand and opened his right hand for her to touch.

Does it hurt?

"It's scabbed over, and it itches."

She lowered her head and kissed the scar, the warmth of her lips causing Tan Yuze's knuckles to curl slightly.

Tan Yuze got out of the car, hoisted his luggage onto his shoulder with one hand, and held her hand with the other. The key clicked into the lock, like opening up another world.

The entryway light turned on automatically, casting a warm yellow glow, and a rough sisal rug covered the floor. One shelf in the shoe cabinet was empty, with a label that read "Xiao Lizi"—written in neat, messy black marker.

"When did you prepare?" she asked.

"The day after filming wrapped."

Xu Li suddenly remembered that they were in two different groups for that drama and hadn't seen each other for three whole months.

Tan Yuze placed his suitcase against the wall, rolled up his sleeves, and went into the kitchen. The refrigerator was fully stocked with ingredients, labeled with sticky notes: tomatoes, beef brisket, celery, and carrots.

“I’ll cut it,” Xu Li said.

"You can sit down," Tan Yuze said, pointing to the bar stools. "Or you can take a shower; the water's already boiled."

Xu Li didn't move, watching him rinse the tomatoes, his fingers glistening with water droplets under the light. She walked over, wrapped her arms around his waist from behind, and pressed her face against his back.

"The apron straps are loose," she said.

He laughed, his voice traveling from his chest to her eardrums, "Then you help me tie it."

She looped her fingers around to the front and tied a knot at the end of the bow, as if to seal this moment in time. The beef brisket went into the pot and simmered. The tomato skins curled up, and the broth turned red.

Xu Li sat on a high stool, swinging her legs. Her phone was off. At that moment, all that could be heard in the world was the low hum of the range hood and the sound of bubbles bursting in the pot.

Tan Yuze tasted it, then turned to her and asked, "Is it salty?"

Xu Li shook her head, opened her mouth, and he scooped a spoonful of soup to feed her. His fingertips touched her lower lip, and the two of them froze for half a second.

The dining table was made of natural wood and only had two sets of bowls and chopsticks on it. Tan Yuze pushed the beef brisket in front of her, then scooped up a small bowl of rice, packed it down, and turned it upside down onto a plate, making it look like a small mountain of rice.

Xu Li took the first bite, and tears suddenly streamed down her face without warning.

"Hot?" he asked.

She shook her head, buried her face in her arms, and cried very softly, as if afraid of disturbing anyone.

Tan Yuze walked around the table, squatted down next to her, placed his palm on the back of her neck, and stroked it gently.

“I thought…” she choked up, “I thought I would never be able to eat your cooking again.”

“Silly girl,” he said, “I’ll make it for you every day from now on.”

The dining table was made of natural wood and only had two sets of bowls and chopsticks on it. Tan Yuze pushed the beef brisket in front of her, then scooped up a small bowl of rice, packed it down, and turned it upside down onto a plate, making it look like a small mountain of rice.

Xu Li took the first bite, and tears suddenly streamed down her face without warning.

"Hot?" he asked.

She shook her head, buried her face in her arms, and cried very softly, as if afraid of disturbing anyone.

Tan Yuze walked around the table, squatted down next to her, placed his palm on the back of her neck, and stroked it gently.

“I thought…” she choked up, “I thought I would never be able to eat your cooking again.”

“Silly girl,” he said, “I’ll make it for you every day from now on.”

The bathtub was built-in, white, and covered with a layer of dense foam. Xu Li immersed herself up to her chin, her hair styled in a bun, with a few wet strands clinging to her neck.

The bathroom door wasn't locked. Tan Yuze came in, put down his clean pajamas, and then went out again.

Five minutes later, he knocked on the door. "May I come in?"

"Um."

He squatted by the bathtub, using the showerhead to rinse her hair, his fingers running through the foam at the roots of her hair, his movements as gentle as if he were washing a kitten.

“Nanyou said he’d have three days off,” he began. “You can turn off your phone, but you have to stay alive.”

"She made it sound like I would do something drastic."

“You won’t.” He turned off the shower and wrapped her hair in a towel. “You want to live more than anyone else.”

Xu Li looked up, and a drop of water dripped from her eyelashes into the corner of her mouth; it tasted salty.

She reached out and hooked her fingertips around the hem of his T-shirt. "Stay and wash together?"

Tan Yuze's Adam's apple bobbed. "I'm afraid the water will splash outside."

"Then take off your clothes," Xu Li said, putting her hand on her head.

"Are you trying to seduce me?"

"So... are you going to fall for it?"

"superior."

The bedroom curtains weren't fully drawn, and a ray of moonlight pierced the floor. The bedding was newly changed, light gray, and carried the warm scent of fabric softener.

Xu Li came out after drying her hair. Tan Yuze had already showered and smelled of the same citrus shower gel. He was leaning against the headboard, the blanket pulled up to his waist, holding an old magazine in his hand—an e-magazine she had shot when she first debuted, but now he was the one on the cover.

"You were so young back then," he laughed.

Xu Li climbed onto the bed, knelt beside his legs, took the magazine, and tossed it onto the bedside table.

"Not young anymore?"

He reached out and put his arm around her waist, the warmth of his palm seeping through her thin nightgown. "It's perfect now."

The lights went out. In the darkness, only breathing remained.

First their foreheads touched, then their noses. His lips landed on her brow, then slid to the corner of her eye, as if to soothe her, or to confirm her feelings.

Xu Li ran her fingers through his hair, her fingertips touching a little dampness—the ends of his hair that hadn't quite dried.

"Will you stay with me forever?" he whispered.

"good."

The clothes left her body without a sound, like fallen leaves on a thick carpet. He kissed her collarbone, and she arched her back like a bow drawn taut by the moonlight.

The rest of the story was gently swallowed up by the night.

Xu Li woke up once; a dim floor lamp was left on by the bedside. Tan Yuze lay on his side, his arm across her waist, his breathing steady. She quietly reached out, her fingertips tracing his brow, then his nose, finally stopping at the faint scar that could only be seen up close.

His eyes were closed, but his voice came softly, "Can't sleep?"

"I'm afraid the dream is false."

Tan Yuze tightened his arms around her, pulling her close, their hearts pounding together.

"Then stay awake."

The curtains were so blackout that it was impossible to tell the sky was dark. When Xu Li opened her eyes, Tan Yuze was no longer in bed. The aroma of fried eggs wafted from the kitchen, along with the hum of a coffee machine.

She stepped onto the ground barefoot, her legs were weak, and there were light bruises on the inside of her knees.

Hearing the noise, Tan Yuze turned around and saw the bacon sizzling in the pan.

"Good morning," he laughed. "The sun's already high in the sky."

Xu Li walked over and hugged him from behind, pressing her face against his shoulder blade.

My phone is still off.

"Then close it for another day."

The yard wasn't big; the lawn had just been mowed, and the tips of the grass were still wet. Tan Yuze brought out two rattan chairs, a small table in the middle, and brewed a pot of black tea.

Xu Li wore his oversized hoodie, the hem of which reached mid-thigh, and sat cross-legged on the chair with bare legs.

“It’s like a vacation,” she said.

"That's how it is."

An orange cat squeezed through a crack in the fence, its tail curled into a question mark. Tan Yuze squatted down, opened his palm, and the cat sniffed it before jumping onto his lap.

"It's from the neighbor's house, it's called butter."

Xu Li reached out and touched the cat's ears with her fingertips, but the cat turned around and turned its back to her.

"It doesn't like me."

Take your time.

Sunlight pierced through the clouds and fell on her ankle, where a small patch of skin was almost translucent white. Tan Yuze reached out and touched the back of her foot with his fingertips, as if checking the temperature.

The temperature dropped at night, and the fireplace was burning fruitwood, the flames crackling.

The two huddled together under the same blanket, watching the old movie "Love Actually".

In the movie, Mark holds up a card and confesses his love on Christmas Eve.

Xu Li suddenly spoke up, "Have I ever told you that I liked you the first time I saw you when I was seventeen?"

Tan Yuze turned his head. "Where?"

“When you were smoking at the school gate, I thought girls who smoke are cool, and that’s when I fell for you.” He winked.

"I remember seeing you then, but I only saw your back."

The firelight danced on their faces, like something eternal. Thirteen, Day Two: Supermarket and Fireworks

Tan Yuze took her to the nearest warehouse supermarket, which wasn't crowded. He pushed the shopping cart, and she was in charge of throwing snacks into it.

"These potato chips are delicious."

"purchase."

"This soda will make you fat."

"It's more comfortable to hug someone who's a little chubby."

When they went to pay, the cashier stared at them for several seconds but ultimately said nothing.

At night, they set off small fireworks in the yard, creating a dazzling display that illuminated the cat's terrified eyes.

Xu Li covered her ears, and Tan Yuze wrapped his arms around her from behind as they looked up together.

A sudden downpour occurred in the afternoon, with thunder rumbling across the rooftops.

The two snuggled in bed, listening to the rain.

Xu Li buried her face in his chest, her voice muffled, "What will we do when we get back?"

"Filming continues as usual, life continues as usual. When you take on a new role, I'll visit the set."

"My fans won't let me off the hook."

"Then let them curse, until they're too tired to continue."

He lowered his head and kissed the crown of her hair. "I won't let go, and you shouldn't either." The last night, 12:01 AM.

When Xu Li woke up again, the person next to her was breathing heavily.

She quietly got up, walked barefoot to the living room, and turned on the computer.

Her phone vibrated incessantly, like a dying fish. Missed calls, WeChat messages, emails… She clicked on Weibo and saw her name was still trending, but the hashtag #XuLiApologizes# had changed to #XuLiNewDramaLeaks#.

It turns out that the world continued to turn for three days, but it had just temporarily forgotten about her.

Tan Yuze's voice came from behind, "Can't sleep?"

He handed her a glass of warm milk, with a Shiba Inu with a crooked grin printed on the rim.

"What time are you leaving tomorrow morning?" she asked.

Nine o'clock.

"Hold me for another five minutes."

He smiled, put the milk on the table, and opened his arms.

Xu Li lunged forward, pressed her face against his collarbone, and took a deep breath of his scent.

Five minutes passed, and neither of them let go.

The car drove out of the yard, and the orange cat squatted on the fence, its tail wagging.

Xu Li rolled down the car window a crack, letting in the scent of fresh grass.

"Next time I come back, I'll bring it canned food," she said.

"good."

Sunlight pierced through the clouds and fell on the windshield, like a golden road.