Chapter 13

Lu Baiyan's heart was crushed by her clear-headed yet desperate "rejection" and "we are not from the same world".

He looked at the girl with her eyes tightly closed, refusing to communicate, at the cold tears streaming down her face, at the forced composure and aloofness on her pale face, and a surge of courage and determination he had never felt before rose from the bottom of his heart, overwhelming all his reason and shyness.

He didn't leave; instead, he gripped her cold hand even tighter. His voice, no longer trembling, carried a resolute and unquestionable force, each word seeming to strike the air in the hospital room:

"Xu Nianlei, listen up!"

"I like you! This isn't pity, it's a fact! It started a long time ago, and no one can change that!"

"I don't care what others think! Let my mom object if she wants to! What do other people's opinions have to do with me?!"

"I can work harder! I can earn money! I'll get the highest scholarship in college! I can work part-time! I can support you, I can be your support!"

"Don't try to push me away with that excuse! I won't accept it!"

These words, almost like vows, were fervent, direct, and even somewhat clumsy, yet they were filled with the purest sincerity and solitary courage of a young man. This was probably the most rebellious, impulsive, and sincere thing he, a boy accustomed to silence and rules, had done in his eighteen years of life.

Xu Nianlei's tightly closed eyelashes trembled violently, tears streaming down her face and soaking her temples. His burning vows, like beams of light, pierced through her closed eyelids, illuminating her cold, desperate heart, causing her defenses to begin to crumble. She could feel his unwavering determination.

After a long while, Xu Nianlei finally opened her eyes slowly and with great difficulty.

She looked into the boy's stubborn, red eyes, at the tear stains on his face, and at his cheeks flushed slightly with emotion. She knew she couldn't persuade this obstinate boy at this moment. His burning sincerity scorched her like a raging fire, and in the boundless darkness, it allowed her to see a glimmer of warmth and illusion.

A thought slowly formed in her utterly desperate heart.

She looked at him, a pale, weary smile on her face, yet strangely serene. Her voice was as soft as if she were soothing a troubled child, or as if she were saying a final goodbye.

"Okay... I promise you."

I won't push you away anymore.

"Go back first and prepare for university, okay?"

"Let me be alone... I'm really... so tired."

Seeing her finally "soften," seeing the utterly exhausted calm on her face, Lu Baiyan's tense heartstrings relaxed slightly. A surge of joy and hope washed away some of his sorrow; he thought she had truly been moved by him, and a burning light rekindled in his eyes.

"Really? Are you serious?" he asked eagerly, still holding her hand tightly.

"Mm." Xu Nianlei nodded gently, even squeezing his hand lightly, though the pressure was weak. "You should go back now, don't let your mother worry. I... I need to sleep for a while."

Lu Baiyan hesitated for a moment, but looking at her pale and tired face, he finally nodded. He carefully tucked the blanket around her, looked at her deeply as if trying to etch her image into his heart, and then left the ward, turning back every few steps with a glimmer of renewed hope.

He believed that this was a new beginning for them after going through so much hardship.

He didn't know that this was the last time he would see her alive and lucid. That smile was the last, tender lie she left him.

The moment the ward door closed, the smile on Xu Nianlei's face vanished instantly, leaving only a deathly, utter calm.

She struggled, enduring the excruciating pain that felt like her body was being torn apart and the numbness that felt like thousands of ants were gnawing at her soul, and slowly, extremely slowly, sat up and pulled out the IV needle from the back of her hand.

She walked to the window, her movements as light as a ghost.

The night was deep, and the hospital lights cast scattered, cold spots of light downstairs. The evening breeze ruffled her disheveled hair, carrying a hint of summer night coolness, but it couldn't dispel the chill in her heart.

She looked back on her short but painful life—her parents’ arguments, her father’s violent beatings and ultimate insults, her mother’s control and mental torture, her classmates’ ridicule, the harm of rumors, and those indelible, dirty marks… like scenes from a black and white silent film, flashing by quickly, leaving only repression and pain.

The only bright spot was him. It was the umbrella that tilted silently in the rainy night, the afternoons spent patiently explaining, the broken dandelion bookmark, and his incredibly bright, tearful eyes when he said, "I like you" and "I can be your support."

But how could she, this utterly tainted, mired mud, be worthy of such pure, dazzling starlight? She would only tarnish him, becoming the sole, enormous stain and burden in his perfect life. She couldn't drag him down any longer. She couldn't face the future, couldn't face him, and even less could she face this broken, filthy version of herself.

I'm sorry, Xiaobai. I'm sorry, I broke my promise. Your world should always be bright and shining, and I shouldn't have dragged you into this boundless darkness.

She closed her eyes, like a broken, lifeless leaf that had finally broken free from its branch, and leaped forward.

As my body plummeted, the wind howled in my ears, as if blowing away all the pain, humiliation, and despair.

The world is finally completely quiet. Clean.