Shaking Mushrooms

That night

It was warm but still cold in early spring, and the weather in the north after sunset was like a severe winter. The howling wind made the soldiers on the city wall shiver, and they had to wrap themselves tightly in rags that were pieced together from everywhere.

Fortunately, thanks to the cold-proof tent provided by Ma Chengyun, Tong Zhenzhen was able to be so comfortable. She held a freshly baked sweet potato, put a few hot packs on herself, and then snuggled into bed to watch videos and surf the Internet.

Suddenly, there were a few taps on the zipper door of the tent, and Xie Ci's somewhat dull voice came from the other side of the door:

"You... have something to ask me?"

Tong Zhenzhen chuckled a few times in the bed. Although she was reluctant to leave the warm bed, she still struggled to open the door for him:

"I do have something to talk to you about, but can't we just send a message? You don't have to come all the way here, it's so cold outside."

The cloth door opened, revealing Xie Ci's face, which was a little red from the cold. He was a little stunned, caught off guard by Tong Zhenzhen's sudden concern.

"You've brought the cold air from outside in. Stop daydreaming and come in quickly!" Tong Zhenzhen saw that he was daydreaming again and simply pulled him in.

Xie Ci finally came back to his senses, watching Tong Zhenzhen throw away his cold hand in disdain, and carefully straightened his messed up quilt. He realized that this woman was just worried that the quilt she had just warmed would get cold, and for a moment he felt mixed emotions. He quietly moved to sit beside her, and put his hand, which was as cold as ice, into her neck:

"Okay, what on earth do you want me to do?"

Tong Zhenzhen howled from the cold and wanted to move away from him, but the space in the tent was limited and she didn't want to leave the bed, so she could only squeeze together with Xie Ci, shoulder to shoulder, shrinking her neck:

"I just want to tell you that by tomorrow night at the latest, they will take the initiative to open the city gates and agree to peace talks!"

Xie Ci raised his eyes and thought about the scene today when the leader fainted because of his anger, then he put his bracelet back in front of his chest:

"Really? I don't believe it."

Tong Zhenzhen smacked her lips, raised her index finger and shook it left and right in front of his eyes:

"You don't understand this, do you? Young man, not everyone is as perverted as you... No, extraordinary self-control! Once people get involved in the Internet, they are doomed, addicted, forgetful, and dead!"

Xie Ci helplessly watched Tong Zhenzhen dancing and talking nonsense, guessing that she was probably tinkering with something in secret again, but her tricks were always very useful.

He smiled, and the sharpness he had during the day faded a lot. He wrapped up Tong Zhenzhen's feet, which she had just pulled away.

"Okay, okay, I know you're awesome, so let's wait and see tomorrow. Go to bed early."

"So why don't you just send a message directly? Why did you come here? Aren't you cold?" Tong Zhenzhen was startled by the cold wind that came in when Xie Ci opened the door. She asked in great confusion. You know, in this weather, she would rather go hungry than leave the bed.

Xie Ci paused, did not dare to look back at her, just said "I'd love to" ambiguously, and left quickly. After taking a few steps, he bumped into something and groaned, and it sounded like he was hit hard.

Tong Zhenzhen got up dissatisfiedly and pulled the zipper on the door, complaining:

"You deserve it. Who told you not to close the door?"

On the tower

A young soldier suddenly opened his eyes. It was the man who had a conflict with the general during the day. He looked around slightly and breathed a sigh of relief after confirming that no one was paying attention to this side.

He operated it somewhat clumsily. It was said that this thing had no substance and had to be operated with human consciousness. It was the magic of the gods, but it could only be used if the priest agreed to the peace talks. In their pro-war countries that opposed peace talks, the priests' magic was strictly prohibited.

But the beauty of this magic weapon lies in the fact that outsiders cannot see it at all. What’s the use of it even if it is banned?

He plucked up his courage and couldn't wait to click on the short play "Rebirth: I Raise a Turtle in the Harem" which he had not finished watching last time. It was said that it was the daily pastime of the gods. He also got this magic weapon by chance and accidentally got a glimpse of such a wonderful masterpiece.

It tells the story of a deposed concubine who was harmed by the Mushroom Queen and was reincarnated as a little palace maid. She endured humiliation and kept a low profile. She accidentally adopted a little turtle, who turned out to be the reincarnation of the eunuch chief who had been entangled with her in the previous life. The two loved and hated each other but also relied on each other. In the end, the little turtle cut off the egg intestines of the young man and killed the Mushroom Queen. The story is full of brilliant ideas and the ingenious plot is very eye-catching.

He was watching the little maid slap the mushroom queen in the face and ask her to salute him, and he was so excited that he couldn't help but pound his arms in the air a few times. But at the exciting moment, the magic weapon suddenly turned black and the words "connection disconnected" were displayed on it. He was so anxious that he almost jumped up from the ground.

Just as he was fiddling with the air impatiently, wanting to watch the next episode as quickly as possible, he noticed that his brother next to him was also moving a few times impatiently.

He stopped moving immediately, his heart in his throat, thinking that he had woken the person up by making too much noise. He was about to turn around and apologize to the person, but he saw that the other person had his eyes wide open and was muttering "Why did it suddenly stop". He didn't look sleepy at all.

The other person turned over, and they were staring into each other's eyes. They were both extremely embarrassed for a moment. He moved back apologetically, and suddenly a guess came to his mind. He turned around and asked tentatively in a low voice:

"The wall is about to..."

"Shake the mushrooms!" The other party blurted out without hesitation. However, this time it was not just him. The people around him who were originally sleeping soundly also got up one after another:

"I met Zhijun!"

“Egg sausage!”

"This is the classic line from the vicious villain Queen Mushroom. I will never forget it until I die!"

The soldier stared at these soldiers who had vowed during the day that they would never surrender, and pointed at them:

"So you guys also... This is a capital crime!"

"Shh!" The veteran soldier beside him led the crowd to cover his mouth. "If you don't tell me, I won't tell you, and no one tells me, how could the commander know?"

Except for the general who was still sleeping as peacefully as a dead pig, everyone else was in a mess, discussing their favorite plots with their friends around them, or figuring out how to continue watching the show on the disconnected screen.

Suddenly, the original unchanging text suddenly had new content:

【The Only True God】:

How about it, do you want to continue watching?

“W-What’s going on?!”

Everyone was startled by this sudden question. They stood up and looked around vigilantly. After finding that no one was eavesdropping or watching, they returned to their original seats in confusion, staring at the line of text, not knowing what to do.

【The Only True God】:

Why are you panicking? I don't eat people. I am the High Priest of Linyuan and the head of the fragile college student priests!

"She said she was a priest!" The soldier couldn't hold back his voice and exclaimed, but the old soldier beside him covered his mouth. After calming down, he whispered:

"What should we do? I secretly used her magic. She won't be angry, right? I heard that the new priest of Linyuan is not easy to mess with. Before, Xu Yuan, a fierce general of the Poyuan Army, was slapped in public by her. When he saw her, he cried like a bullied wife!"

"Don't panic yet, let's see what she says."

【The Only True God】:

Tsk, I can't see any of your movements with my unilateral output, so forget it, I'll just add you to the group and let you see how comfortable the lives of the families who agreed to peace talks are!

Before they could figure out what "joining the group" meant, a new line of text popped up on the screen:

Joined【Loving Family】

[Mo Cheng-Have you praised the priest today?]:

Wow, there is a new family member coming! Welcome, welcome~ (scatter flowers)

[Lin Yuan-I am the Goddess's dog]

I know that the Goddess is omnipotent. No one can refuse the Goddess, no one!

【Changhao-poor scholar】:

If this trend continues, a peaceful and prosperous era will be just around the corner!

The lines of text flashing across the screen in front of them were so fast that everyone was dazzled and confused for a moment. The old soldier muttered:

"Oh my goodness, what is this?"

Just when they were at a loss, the soldier suddenly patted his head, said "Ah", and turned to explain to everyone:

"It is said that for those countries that submit to the priests, the priests will give them a magical instrument that allows them to communicate at any time. I guess this is the one in front of me, right?"

"Mo Cheng, Chang Hao, Lin Yuan... yes, these are the countries that follow the priests." Someone discovered the names of the countries hidden in the names, and everyone talked about it, slowly understanding the current situation, and everyone was envious.

【The Only True God】:

Come on, families, bring out your newly made love and peace promotional videos and show the new family members your happy life!

[Linyuan-I Love Tang Tianren]:

Yes, my friends! Please watch!

Out of curiosity, the soldier clicked on the video before everyone could come to a conclusion.

The video begins with a group of people lying in a mess on a piece of wasteland with arrows and spears stuck in it, and the narration and the background music of Cangsang begin to sing:

"Are you still exhausted from fighting all day?!"

"Are you still suffering from serving General Mama?!"

When the soldier heard this, he subconsciously glanced at the commander who was snoring loudly.

"You, that's you! Are you tired of this hopeless life with no tomorrow?!"

“It’s now! Not 998, not 98, not a cent, not a cent! No matter you are a soldier, a cook, a cannon fodder, a passerby or a loser, join the loving family, let us wipe out evil for love and peace!”

The narration became more and more excited, and even broke his voice. The screen jumped wildly, capturing the new life of the residents in the era of the Internet: large chain supermarkets such as Pony Express took care of the residents' food, clothing, housing and transportation, and provided unlimited instant noodles, cola and other special foods, as well as lotions, creams, cosmetics and skin care products; everyone could play surfing anytime and anywhere, play the King's League on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, and short plays and novels on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays; more importantly, under the power of the high priest, no one would be injured or killed again. The video demonstrated in person that a small border country that was nearly destroyed by the wars among the countries successfully repelled wave after wave of enemy troops under the thunder of the priest.

“The sea of ​​suffering is endless, turn back and you will find the shore, put down the butcher knife and embrace a happy new life!”

After the last sentence was played, the screen returned to darkness again, and everyone who had watched the video fell silent, with a look of struggle on their faces.

After a while, someone spoke first to break the deadlock:

"I, I think that peace talks are not a bad thing, right?"

This opened up everyone's conversation and they all responded:

"Yes, look at their lives, aren't they getting better and better? We are sent to fight in remote places all day long, it's really a torture!"

"After so many years of fighting, we finally have a priest willing to help us quell the war. Look at all the people in the group, they are all praising the priests, which shows that they are indeed virtuous!"

The more they talked, the more excited they became. Their desire to see the sequel to the skit and their longing for a happy life had completely overshadowed their fear of the leader, and they had unknowingly fallen into the trap of childish innocence.

In the 21st century, we call this operation telecommunications fraud.

【The Only True God】:

How are you thinking about it?

The soldier took the lead and tried to reply with his mind:

We fully support the priest's cause, and will open the city gates tomorrow morning! Priest, can you let us continue watching "Rebirth: I Raise a Turtle in the Harem"? I can't see the sequel, and I feel anxious...

Tong Zhenzhen quickly restored their hot spots and praised herself for her wit. Who can resist the temptation of games and short videos? She couldn't.

Without further ado, she immediately sent a message to Xie Ci:

They will open the city gates tomorrow morning, remember to be ready~

As she expected, the other party replied immediately:

【Acknowledgement】：

receive

Tong Zhenzhen groaned, and asked her to go to bed early, but she didn't set a good example herself. As a result, the other party seemed to have read her thoughts and immediately added:

Go to bed early, you won't have any trouble tomorrow, sleep well, I'll take care of everything

Tong Zhenzhen was so happy and relaxed. After getting the approval, she happily crawled into her quilt and prepared to sleep until noon.