Chapter 38: Cold Rain in the Morning and Wind in the Evening

It is indeed Li Siyan. I would recognize these eyes even if they were burned to ashes.

Under the cold moonlight, he looked at me with a pair of red eyes, his face an indescribable gray, full of jealousy, hatred and despair.

The stone and the hairpin rolled to the ground, covered with dust and the blood that had dripped from his back. The blood dripped onto the ground thickly and heavily, forming a stream that slowly flowed to my feet.

But Li Siyan still maintained his previous posture, not moving at all, as if he didn't feel the pain at all, or perhaps the pain was even more severe in a deeper part of the wound, leaving him no time to care about the damage to his skin and flesh.

This man had drunk an unknown amount of alcohol, and his whole body reeked of alcohol.

Alcohol is not a good thing. It only brings out a person's worst side.

He remained silent for a moment, like a clay or wooden sculpture. Suddenly, he gave a deep, unpleasant laugh, his handsome face twisted into an incomparably hideous expression. He tapped the back of his neck and said, "Why, you're reluctant to do it? Didn't I teach you that when you kill someone, you should aim for the back of the head. No other place will work."

He seemed to regret not being killed by me.

Madman, he is a madman. My lips trembled and I stammered, "I didn't mean to kill you. I didn't know you were here. You... you are drunk. You should go back to the palace. Let Meng Xu go!"

"Why should we let him go?" Li Siyan smiled, his lips curled up, but there was no trace of smile in his eyes: "Are you worried about him?"

After saying that, he punched Meng Xu in the lower abdomen again, so fast that I couldn't see it clearly.

My heart sank. I hurriedly picked up the hairpin and pointed it at him, saying, "You personally arranged our marriage. How dare you touch him!"

Li Siyan's smile faded, like thick ink meeting water, dissipating bit by bit, until finally, there was no expression on his face at all, and his distinct brow bones cast heavy shadows under his eyes.

I've been with him for two years and have never seen him look so horrible.

Like a beast, his expression was invisible, neither ferocious nor angry, but so peaceful and quiet that it made people shudder.

The night wind blew his scattered hair, and behind the hair, a layer of cold frost covered his handsome face. He looked at me, and I couldn't stop trembling, as if a poisonous snake was coiled around my skin.

Meanwhile, Meng Xu, taking advantage of Li Siyan's moment of daze, managed to wriggle free from his grasp. His complexion was extremely pale, and half his face was swollen beyond recognition. Even so, he desperately tried to protect me, saying in a hoarse voice, "May I ask what your Majesty means?"

He asked exactly what I wanted to ask. I didn't know what Li Siyan was up to. Was he simply drunk and ready to beat up someone on the street? Or was he just mad at us and had followed us all the way here?

I suddenly remembered the familiar figure on the second floor of the tavern when I was watching the fire show. I thought I was dazzled, but I didn’t expect that it was actually Li Siyan. My absurd illusion was reflected in reality, leaving the worst result.

My heart was pounding, and I couldn't concentrate. Seeing Li Siyan's cold gaze fall back on Meng Xu, I shuddered and pulled him behind me, saying, "Don't involve others in this grudge between us. If you have anything to say, just come to me!"

Meng Xu naturally wouldn't let me mess around, and whispered to me, "Be obedient, go call someone, call your servants..."

I ignored him and continued to stare at Li Siyan.

Li Siyan didn't move anymore. He just watched us quietly protecting each other. His eyes were so quiet that they scared me.

He might be planning something cruel. I vaguely remember that he had the same look when he ordered the killing of a servant who had served him for many years two years ago.

It's not about considering whether to take action, but about choosing the most suitable way to get rid of the other party.

Yes, let’s get it over with, I thought to myself, I might be finished with Meng Xu tonight.

After a long standoff, there was another noisy commotion at the entrance of the alley. I turned around and happened to see Qingfu's panicked old face. Hu Yueer was following behind him and gasped in horror when he saw this scene.

Shushu and her aunt also hurried over, dragging along the temporary servants and doormen. They didn't recognize Li Siyan, and when they saw the wound on Meng Xu's face, they screamed in panic, "What happened?"

I managed to calm myself down and made a trembling gesture to my aunt, indicating that they should kneel down quickly.

"Your Majesty was drunk..." I said dryly, "He beat Meng Xu... I... I beat him..."

I trailed off, and the two groups fell into deathly silence.

No one knew what to do. Li Siyan lowered his eyes, reeking of alcohol and hostility. He looked dangerously vulnerable. I pursed my lips in agony, unable to comprehend how my wonderful Qiqiao event had ended like this. What should I do now? I had no idea. I just felt that things were not good. Very bad.

After waiting for a long time, Meng Xu gritted his teeth, dragged his injured leg, and tightly pulled my sleeve, saying, "Your Majesty..."

Li Siyan finally spoke. He said, "Get lost."

Meng Xu's body stiffened, and then he pulled me away.

I let him pull me away in a daze.

Not long after walking, I heard Li Siyan's voice, as cold and dull as a spring, sounding behind me.

"Chen Ying, happy wedding."

The moonlight was cold, the moss in the alley was growing wildly, and the cold dark green seemed to be piling up around me, piling up, piling up into a thick haze. These dark things gently and calmly covered my mouth and nose. The harder I breathed, the more I suffocated.

Happy wedding?

It was an auspicious word, but his tone was as if he was burying me. I swear, this was the most chilling blessing I have ever heard.

The gong struck three times, and it was already late at night. The front hall of the Chen Mansion was still brightly lit. I, my aunt, Meng Xu, Old Lady Meng, the doctor, Hu Yue'er, and the servants of the two mansions gathered together in silence. No one in the hall said a word, and only the occasional crackling of the lamplight could be heard.

After hearing the news, Old Lady Meng came almost immediately on crutches. Her old face was ashen, her lips tightly pressed into a slit. Meng Xu, with a face full of scars, called out softly, "Grandma."

I was behind Meng Xu, woodenly bowing to this vigorous old lady, feeling her sharp gaze shooting at me like an arrow.

After Li Siyan finished his madness and said a faint congratulatory message to me, he let Qingfu and a group of guards escort him back to the palace. Before he left, there was a strange and twisted smile on the corner of his mouth, which made everyone who saw it feel a chill down their spine.

Qingfu left Hu Yue'er to clean up the mess and comfort the people, but Hu Yue'er looked even more panicked than I was. Under the gaze of dozens of eyes, he stammered and explained the whole story.

It turned out that after Li Siyan finished patrolling the streets today, he did not return to the palace. Instead, he took a few trusted followers, left the concubines, and went to a restaurant in the East Market to drink and daydream. His Majesty did not like alcohol, but this time he drank as if he was risking his life, and got himself drunk.

Later, a fire was set on the bamboo downstairs. He watched for a while and ordered his attendants to go down to give him rewards and buy other things for him. The attendants went as he was told, but when they came back they were shocked - His Majesty was gone, and there was only a cup of leftover wine and a few broken wine jugs on the table.

"...We didn't know where His Majesty had gone, and were just about to return to the Imperial City to mobilize troops and split up to search for him when Grandpa Qingfu suddenly asked about the Shen family's address. Pu Shou said he'd been there to deliver an imperial decree and knew where the Shen family lived. Grandpa Qingfu immediately ordered everyone to follow him, but we were too late." Hu Yue'er, sweating profusely, said, "His Majesty was drunk, and that's why...that's why he attacked Master Meng. If it were normal, he wouldn't have done this."

My aunt's hands have been shaking uncontrollably since just now. I have never seen her like this before.

No matter how slow she was at this moment, she vaguely understood it, but she still couldn't believe this absurdity.

I can’t hide it anymore, I thought woodenly. Now that things have come to this, what should I do?

I turned my head and saw the large patches of redness and swelling on Meng Xu's face and his bleeding lips, and tears instantly welled up in my eyes.

Old Lady Meng slowly found a chair and sat down, the veins on her hand holding the crutch showing.

She looked at her grandson, then at me, and slowly said, "Shen family girl, it's not that I'm mean, but everything is caused by you. To be honest, I'm actually a little afraid of you."

My tears streamed down my face as I sobbed silently and violently. For the first time in my life, I felt like I didn't have the strength to face this situation anymore. I just wanted to grab Meng Xu's hand and run away. How could this happen? I thought Li Siyan had personally granted us the marriage, so he would never do anything to us again, but he still hit Meng Xu... I didn't expect that I would find myself at a loss for words one day.

Meng Xu stopped me behind him and said, "Grandma, the emperor hit me, it has nothing to do with Yingying."

Old Lady Meng slammed her cane: "Whether she caused this disaster, you know better than me!"

"Then please tell me, old lady, what did our Yingying do wrong?"

The aunt stood up suddenly, almost causing Xiaochuan to stumble.

She had been silent for most of the night. This was the first time she spoke. Although her voice was hoarse and dry, it still had the familiar protective tone I was familiar with:

"I respect the old lady as an elder, but she should also speak with some reason. It's clear that the emperor was furious and beat the official in the street. My daughter Yingying, in order to protect Mr. Meng, cut a deep wound on the body of the True Dragon Emperor. The greatest friendship is just like this, but I didn't expect that in the end, she would be blamed."

"Auntie..." I looked at her with tears in my eyes and cried even harder.

My aunt held my shoulders firmly and said, "You are not wrong. Don't cry. We need to sort this out today. Otherwise, you will be despised after you get married!"

When a person is fighting alone, he can endure the greatest injustice without saying a word, but once he is protected and comforted by others, it is difficult for him to hold back.

My aunt knew why Li Siyan suddenly came to beat Meng Xu, but she did her best to prevent me from suffering any injustice, even if it meant offending Old Lady Meng.

Old Lady Meng said calmly, "When did I ever say your daughter did anything wrong? Having lived to my age, I know that arguing about right and wrong is meaningless. Madam Shen, your niece protected my grandson, and the Meng family is grateful. But let's put things in perspective. As the saying goes, an innocent man is guilty of possessing a treasure. Everyone here, who can't understand the emperor's feelings for her? Today's matter is over, and it's over. Just think of my grandson as having been beaten by the emperor for nothing, but what about the future? After she enters the Meng family, are we going to be in constant fear and anxiety?"

Hu Yue'er rubbed his hands nervously, took a deep breath and said, "Old Madam, His Majesty is acting so abnormally this time because he is drunk. I believe he will be fine after he wakes up tomorrow. The decree of marriage was issued by His Majesty himself. Since His Majesty has not said to cancel it, no matter what, Madam Chen will still marry into the Meng Mansion the day after tomorrow."

Neither Old Lady Meng nor my aunt said a word. Judging from their expressions, neither family was very optimistic about this marriage. They were only forced to accept it because of the imperial edict and the relationship between Meng Xu and me.

Hu Yue'er paused, then said, as if he had burned his boats, "Madam Shen always looks up to us servants, so even if I'm presumptuous, I should say something. On the day I left the palace, I remember Madam Shen mentioned that she would no longer stay in Chang'an. In my opinion, if Master Meng and Madam Shen get married, and they can stay away from each other, perhaps over time, three or ten years, His Majesty's thoughts on her will fade, and then it won't be too late to return to Chang'an."

Yes! If you can't provoke me, can't you just hide away?

I nodded, crying, as if I had grabbed a lifeline. I plopped down on my knees in front of them, choking with sobs, "I thought that by granting him the marriage, I could make him give up completely, but I didn't expect that it would implicate Brother Meng. This is indeed all because of me. Don't worry, old lady. If there is a next time, I will stay away from him and become a nun at Zhong Nanshan."

Old Lady Meng was silent for a moment, ignored me, and turned directly to her grandson with a tired look on her face.

She said, "You've been the most promising child of your generation since you were little. You passed the imperial examination at the age of seventeen and became a Jinshi (two-list jinshi) at the age of twenty. You've carved out a future with your own hands, using the pen. Now, just for a little girl like her, you've given up your job in the Secretariat and been sent to a remote place. Do you think it's worth it?"

I raised my tearful eyes and looked at Meng Xu.

He seemed to have been waiting for this question for a long time, and said without hesitation: "It's worth it."

"Grandmother," he said, "I did study hard to pass the imperial examination, and I was unwilling to give up what I already had. But people live for more than just high positions, generous salaries, and a bright future. If these material possessions prevent me from even being with the girl I love, then my life will be a complete failure."

Because of the injury at the corner of his mouth, his voice was very soft, like the crushed ice in the plum bowl, but it contained great power for no reason.

I can't find the right words to describe how I feel at the moment. I just feel that meeting Meng Xu has really used up all my luck in this life.

I wanted to cry and escape from this mess, but Meng Xu's statement was like a solid pillar supporting me, and I suddenly felt that I had the strength to face it all - with him.

I calmed down, wiped my tears, and said, "Madam, husband and wife are one. I will never stay under his protection alone. Shangguan Lan's husband works in the Ministry of Personnel. I will ask her to give Meng Xu a better official position outside the capital. The Secretariat recruited a large number of new secretaries two years ago. There is intrigue and scheming within the Secretariat, and the future is bleak. It may not be a good place. I heard that the newly dug canal in Jiangnan is about to be opened to navigation. There will be great changes in water transport, money and grain transportation. It is a time when it is easy to make achievements. If the two of us can go to the prosperous Wuyue and serve as local officials, perhaps Meng Xu's promotion will be faster than if he stayed in Chang'an."

Old Lady Meng looked surprised.

In the past two years, I have been recording Li Siyan's daily life. Apart from other things, I have heard a lot of things about promotion and demotion. I want to let Old Lady Meng know that Meng Xu did take a risk by marrying me, but I, Chen Ying, have worked as a historian and a close minister to the emperor. My vision is incomparable to ordinary people. It is definitely worth it for him to marry me.

"Please grant me your blessing, Grandmother." Meng Xu and I knelt together. "If a great disaster were to strike, Yingying and I would never bring disaster to our family."

Having said that, there was really no way out. Old Lady Meng didn't say much, but only sighed deeply, and the wrinkles on her face were as deep as if they were cut by a knife.

In the flickering candlelight, Old Lady Meng's body was slightly hunched. In my impression, she has always been an old but vigorous head of the family, but at this moment, she is more like an ordinary grandmother who hates her children and grandchildren for not living up to their expectations.

She sat quietly for a while, then stood up and left. Meng Xu went over to help her up, but she waved him away in anger.

"What nonsense are you talking about about not bringing harm to your family? You have the surname Meng, and your family has raised you like pearls and jade for so many years. If something really happened, would this old woman just sit back and do nothing?" She snorted, "The more lovable children and grandchildren are when they are young, the more troublesome they become when they grow up..."

This was such a brilliant statement that my aunt glared at me in agreement.

Meng Xu and I were the most favored children in the family since we were young. We were smart and sweet-talkers, so the adults inevitably showed more favoritism to us. As a result, we became wild and caused all kinds of trouble.

I shrank my neck in grievance, but it’s not all my fault.

Xiaochuan sent them out, and the three of them disappeared behind the screen wall. At this time, only my aunt, Hu Yueer, and I were left in the hall.

Hu Yue'er finally persuaded Old Lady Meng to leave. He breathed a long sigh of relief, wiped the sweat from his forehead, and said, "I hope you will all spread the news about what happened tonight. His Majesty was drunk and out. Ultimately, it was us servants who were not careful enough. Hu Yue'er apologizes to you on behalf of the master."

After saying this, he really bowed and saluted. How could we dare to accept his greeting? We quickly said to him, "Hu Yue'er, what are you doing? You just helped me persuade Old Lady Meng. I can't thank you enough."

My aunt reacted quickly and took out a purse of change from her bosom... I shook my head vigorously at her: With the friendship between Hu Yueer and me, there is no need for these valuables.

Hu Yue'er nodded and said, "Since the matter is settled, I will return to the palace first. Madam Shen, take care. When you get married the day after tomorrow, I will come to help His Majesty deliver the dowry."

My smile was a little forced. To be honest, I had long stopped thinking about the small dowry that Li Siyan had given me. I just wanted to marry Meng Xu quickly, pack up my belongings and move away, just as Hu Yueer suggested, to stay out for ten or eight years before coming back.

Because of this incident, I didn't sleep well all night. As soon as I closed my eyes, Li Siyan's distorted face and his terrifying words "Happy Wedding" automatically appeared in front of me.

What was he up to? Was he just itching to beat up Meng Xu to vent his anger? If he was going to beat Meng Xu up, why not call him into the palace and give him a thorough and thorough beating? Why did he have to sneak up on me at my doorstep? Was he following me all day today, or did we just happen to meet by chance? Could he have been following me while Meng Xu and I were shopping and eating Sushan?

Damn, either way it's terrifying.

I tossed and turned in my thoughts, my mind wandering further and further away, the more anxious I became, and I almost tore the mattress.

There are still two days before I get married... I have a terrible headache and I'm digging into the mattress. Li Siyan's condition is not right tonight, please don't change again... No, this is a marriage granted by the emperor. Even if he regrets it, there is no way to revoke the order rashly. I should let go of my worries...

I suffered until the cockcrow, then I fell into a drowsy sleep. In a half-awake state, I dreamed of the nightmare that Meng Xu had described to me: I was wearing a Di robe and was strangled tightly in Li Siyan's arms. I was terrified and screamed and cried, but the dog emperor refused to let go and whispered in my ear: Accompany me to hell.

Go to hell, you pervert!

When Shushu came in to look for me the next day, I had my head buried in the quilt like an ostrich, my buttocks facing the sky, muttering to myself as if I were practicing some strange cult technique.

Shushu thought I was going to suffocate myself, and she was terrified. She rushed over and screamed, pulling me out of the quilt.

Me: “What are you doing?”

Shushu hugged me and cried, "My wife is getting married tomorrow, please don't be so confused!"

I said, "Who can't figure it out? I'm not dead yet."

When Shushu heard me say the word "death", tears started to fall from her eyes: "My dear, please don't say such unlucky words. My wife will be sad if she knows."

"Okay, stop crying. I really don't want to commit suicide. I just want to change my posture and be in a daze for a while." I touched her head.

Shushu sniffed and told me intermittently that her aunt called her over early in the morning and repeatedly told her to keep an eye on me and not let me commit suicide.

It was probably my failed suicide attempt two years ago that left a huge shadow on my aunt. She always thought that I was just slitting my throat for no reason.

I sighed and said, "If you wanted to commit suicide, you would have done it long ago. Who would shamelessly live to this day?"

Seeing Shushu's eyes redden and about to cry again, I quickly comforted her: "...but since you've lived to this day, you have to continue living, even if it means you have to be shameless."

I locked myself in the yard for the whole day, from dawn to dusk. It was raining outside the house. The raindrops dripped heavily along the eaves, soaking the lotus flowers planted by Shushu. The smoky pink petals trembled slightly, like a wandering mood.

I asked someone to bring the goose that Meng Xu caught, and looked carefully at the feathers on the tip of its wings. Just as Shushu said, one of the goose's wing feathers had grown apart and turned white. I started to think wildly: Could this be a very bad omen?

After watching the wild geese, I sat under the porch again, looking at the courtyard gate nervously. Perhaps an angel would come from the palace soon, holding a new imperial edict, saying that Li Siyan regretted it and wanted to take back the decree of marriage.

What comforted me a little was that the angel still didn't knock on my door until evening.

The imperial city was silent, as if the disturbance last night had never occurred.

The heart that had been weighing on my mind for a whole day and night finally settled down. I slowly stood up, walked to the embroidery room where Shushu kept her wedding dress, and hugged her and cried.

"Shushu, no one has come to revoke the order... I can marry Meng Xu now, wuwuwu..."

At first I was trying to hold it back, but later I burst into tears. I didn't dare to indulge myself in front of my aunt and Meng Xu, for fear that they would worry about me. But Shushu was different. She was the little girl closest to me. I could pretend to be strong and hide it from everyone except her.

Pretended strength will not last long. Once you find an outlet to vent your anger, it will be like a dam breaking and you cannot stop it.

Shushu was also choking with sobs. She let me rub my tears and snot on her shoulders, patting my back gently and saying, "The past is the past. My wife's blessings are yet to come."

I burst into laughter and said, "Well, it's all over."

The sun sets, the sudden rain stops, and tomorrow is a new day.