Chapter 27: The Art of Getting Along with Others Part 3

That day, Chunlai suddenly asked, "Why do people always point at their noses when they talk about themselves?"

I said, “The character for nose is not actually a character for white. It’s a character for eye plus a stroke.

A stroke represents hair.

It's not just pointing at the nose, but at one's own face. Because the nose is in the center, it looks like one is pointing at the nose.

We are looking at the character [目], which refers to the shape of an eye. If we put this character [目] horizontally, does it form an eye?

Chunlai nodded.

"This [eye] is vertical, doesn't it look like a nose?"

Chunlai nodded again.

"The character [口] is a bit garbled because you can't see the teeth when the mouth is closed. If you add the two front teeth, wouldn't it be a horizontal character [目]?"

Chun said, "Oh, because the four organs on the face are shaped like the Chinese character 目. So the 自 in 自己 (self) contains the 目 character."

I said, "If you understand it this way, you are right. Otherwise, you will not understand the word 'huang' in 'huangdi'.

[皇], Bai + Wang, this doesn't make sense. The correct way to write it is "自 + Wang, which means [this person is the king], abbreviated as [本王], which means emperor."

Chunlai asked: "Your Majesty is also the emperor, how do you explain this [彈]?"

I shook my head. “Your Majesty is not the Emperor.”

Chunlai was surprised: "Your Majesty is not the emperor?"

I said, "For the sake of dignity, the emperor sat high above, and his ministers stood in the main hall. In those days, there were no microphones, so the ministers couldn't hear everything the emperor said. Even the ministers' replies weren't necessarily heard by the emperor.

Therefore, a person was placed between the emperor and the ministers. This person was called "Your Majesty." Because "Your Majesty" meant the steps of the palace, His Majesty was the person standing at the bottom of the steps and delivering messages.

When the minister responded, he did not answer directly to the emperor, but to the intermediary messenger. So, he would say "Your Majesty" - meaning he was answering the messenger and asking him to pass on the message to the emperor. Over time, it became "Your Majesty" representing the emperor.

Likewise, the Empress Dowager, the Empress, the Crown Prince, and the kings who lived in the palace were addressed as "Your Highness."

In ancient times, high-ranking government offices were called "ge", and the title "Your Excellency" was used. Now it has become a respectful title.

In ancient times, during wars, soldiers were commanded to advance and retreat by waving a flag. This flag was called "Hui." Therefore, to obey someone's orders was called "Hui Xia."

The master and the disciple were talking when a woman came in. No need to guess, this person came to me for personality analysis after listening to my type analysis method spread by Wang Qian and Zhou Man.

The girl smiled and said, "Teacher Wan, I'm Zhou Man's friend, Wu Jingjing, and I'd like you to analyze my personality type."

I glanced at her. She looked thinner and older than Zhou Man. She looked a bit like the dancer. I won't mention her by name. We can't be like Sister Jin and write something like "What to hold in your mouth, what to advance and retreat" and cause trouble.

Chunlai poured her a cup of tea.

I said to Wu Jingjing, "Let me give you an inner monologue."

"Give me a passage of my inner monologue?

"Hmm," I replied, and then I started talking to myself:

“You often feel that others are different from you.

You are easily emotional.

Full of fantasy.

Like to reflect on myself.

You long for others to understand you, but you also believe that no one in this world truly understands you.

She nodded.

"What about my personality?"

“First, you don’t want to lead others, but you long to be different. You are particularly afraid of being ordinary.

Second, you pursue "feelings" and have high expectations for your emotional life. If you're looking for a partner, you prefer a "servant" type of man. If you find a strong man, you'll argue with him all your life.

3. You think things through a thousand times, but when it comes time to express them, you can't express them. You're not very good at expressing yourself. Because of this, when you argue with others, you often slap them on the table. You suppress others through anger.

Fourth, when anger cannot be suppressed by others, take emotional ways such as breaking off the friendship or refusing to communicate to express your feelings.

Fifth, they don’t understand the ways of the world.”

She nodded. Her face was serious. I knew she was sensitive, but I had to remind her. Then I said:

"Your biggest weakness is your emotionality. You're self-righteous, overly sensitive to things, and live in your own world. Your friends are only temporary."

She immediately retorted, "Teacher Wan, I read an article that says everyone makes friends in stages. Friends from childhood become distant as we age. Friends from youth become distant as we age, and friends from middle age become distant as we age."

"Yes, you're right. But you're different. You meet a stranger and become friends right away, but after a while, you discover that this friend has this or that shortcoming.

You are young now, and you will hate others within a year or two before you reach middle age.

"When I say this stage, I mean your stage is shorter than others. Everyone has shortcomings. You are too demanding, expecting others to be almost perfect."

She asked, “How do I change it?”

“I can tell at a glance that you work in the arts. These are your weaknesses in interpersonal relationships, but they are also your strengths in the arts.

Some things cannot be changed, but they will shape your life. God will open another window for you.

You are also unable to use your energy to correct your shortcomings. Loneliness is your normal state, which will help you achieve success in your career.

To put it nicely, you're a genius, to put it bluntly, you're a lunatic. But madness and genius go hand in hand.

Many great scientists, writers, musicians, and accomplished artists are of your type. Work hard."

She gave a wry smile and said, "Teacher Wan, your analysis is basically correct."

I just smiled and didn't answer. This woman would never give others high scores.

She wanted to say something, but after seeing my expression, she paid and left.

After she left, Chunlai asked, "How do you get along with such a person?"

I smiled and said, "Just socialize with her, don't make close friends. Allow her to live in her own world. When you're with her, pay special attention to boundaries. Don't cross them on your own initiative."

For example, if you are a classmate and live in the same dormitory, her things belong to her and you can't even move them. If you confide in her, she will always think that what you express is not true.

"You mean less contact?"

"Yes. Just keep smiling when you meet."

Finally, I summarized it to Chunlai: "From Wang Qian to Zhou Man to this Wu Jingjing, they are essentially the same type of people."

Chunlai was quite surprised and looked at me with an incredible look.

I said, "All three of you belong to the same heart type. The so-called heart type means that all behavioral habits originate from the heart.

If their behavior and way of thinking are called a disease, then that's it.

Wang Qian: In the early stage of the disease, it can be cured by treatment - Zhou Man: In the middle stage of the disease, it needs to be treated, but it can be cured - Wu Jingjing: In the late stage of the disease, it cannot be cured.

Please note that this does not refer to the body, don't misunderstand, I mean the personality.

In terms of life achievements:

Wang Qian: It is impossible to achieve amazing results - Zhou Man: There is a certain potential - Wu Jingjing, if fate helps, you can achieve amazing results in some aspects.

God will not take care of a person perfectly.

It will make you popular, you will become a good man, and live a happy life among happy people.

Let you gain solitude, and you will become a lone ranger, in which you will either remain silent or explode. "

Chunlai asked, "There are some perfect people in the world."

I said, "If I meet one, I'll teach you. That's the tenth type, called the Perfectionist. They're nearly perfect in appearance, personality, and achievements. But we probably won't meet them; they're so rare."

I wanted to give an example, saying that someone finally gave up because it was too sensitive.