Chapter 26: The Art of Getting Along with Others Part 2
In the afternoon, Wang Qian brought over a woman wearing glasses. She introduced herself as "a good friend of mine, Zhou Man."
As Chun Lai brewed tea, I looked at Zhou Man and said with a smile, "You're a good friend."
They both smiled.
Zhou Man said, "Teacher Wan, I want to challenge you."
Chunlai was shocked. He picked up the teapot and prepared to pour tea for Zhou Man. He was stunned for a moment and took a long time to pour half a cup.
I smiled slightly.
Zhou Man said, "What do I do?"
I couldn't help but laugh out loud: "I can't guess."
She was a little proud.
Wang Qian complained, "There are so many professions in the world, and your requirements are too high. I'd better ask Teacher Wan to help analyze your personality. Teacher Wan, please?"
I nodded, deliberately not looking at Zhou Man, half-closed my eyes, and said:
"First of all, let's talk about your worldview. Living a meaningful life that is admired by others is a successful life."
I didn't need her to admit it, so I half-closed my eyes and continued without waiting for her to answer:
"You believe that hard work pays off, you crave success, and you hope to be recognized and affirmed by others.
You are impatient, but also more efficient.
You only care about the results and don’t pay much attention to the process.”
"Hey, hey, hey, Mr. Wan, what do you mean by only caring about the results and not paying attention to the process?"
"That is to say, when you read a book, you won't read it a second time. You just absorb the useful things in the book."
Zhou Man and Wang Qian looked at each other, and their little movements did not escape my sight.
“To put it in a bookish way, it’s very purposeful.”
After saying that, I opened my eyes with an elusive smile on my lips.
Zhou Man said, "What about my personality?"
“One, never admit defeat, not even a mistake.
Second, you value your personal image. This image doesn't refer to your appearance, but rather how you care about how others perceive you—whether you are smart, successful, or better than those around you.
3. Have strong ability to adapt to the environment.
4. Strong competitive spirit.
5. Caring for others is often not expressed in words, but by doing something specific for them. For example, if you love your father, instead of using words, you can just buy him a piece of clothing or a pair of leather shoes.
Zhou Man immediately slid off the chair and Wang Qian grabbed her.
I said, "Are the chairs in my house so slippery? People often slip off while sitting on them."
Smile when spring comes.
Zhou Man's face flushed. Wang Qian added, "We were shopping yesterday, and she bought a pair of leather shoes for her father."
Zhou Man sat down and said, "Teacher Wan, how did you know that?"
"I told Wang Qian this this morning. I'm not just talking about you. I'm talking about people like you. They all have this kind of personality."
Wang Qian said to Zhou Man, "Listen to what Teacher Wan is saying and don't interrupt all the time."
"Your appearance is that when you listen, your eyes are focused and your expression is steady. You move a lot when you speak. Your body type is generally standard. Your height minus 105cm is your weight.
The most obvious external characteristics are: fast speaking speed, directness, and confidence. For example, they like to say: I can, no problem, and I will definitely do it.
Working with others can motivate them.”
Zhou Man asked, "What should I pay attention to when getting along with others?"
"Pay special attention to your shortcomings in communicating with others. You come across as self-centered and competitive. The message you convey to others is: You'd better agree with me and support me."
"What about my occupation, Mr. Wan? You should guess it."
"Okay, since you're so persistent, I'll make a guess. You've been a class leader since elementary school. In college, you must have become a student union leader. You're currently in graduate school."
She slid off the chair again.
"As for your future career, I don't know, but since you're not good at research, you'll definitely be a leader in any organization, big or small.
Because people like you are called "achievement-oriented personalities". You come to this world to find happiness in achieving success.
You're different from Wang Qian. Wang Qian has a [helping personality] and hopes for a world without conflict, where everyone lives in peace. If you were a man, you two could be a good match.
Zhou Man laughed and said, "She is my temporary female companion. We often play together."
Wang Qian said, "Am I right? In front of Teacher Wan, you are invisible. He sees you clearly."
Zhou Man rolled her eyes at Wang Qian and asked, "Teacher Wan, can I bring my classmate over?"
"Okay. That's what I do."
Zhou Man scanned the money, took two steps, and then turned back and asked, "Teacher Wan, how did you know I was studying for a master's degree?"
"I won't tell you."
They smiled, and Wang Qian said, "Let me tell you, how does Teacher Wan make money?"
After the two left, Chunlai asked, "If I want to get along with this type of person, what should I pay attention to?"
I said, "Maintain an appreciative attitude. Notice the following points.
1. Even if you don't like her, express your admiration for her in public. She won't attack you.
Second, don't discourage her in public. If you do, she'll see you as an enemy. Discuss your disagreements privately.
3. When two people communicate with each other, they should speak directly and not beat around the bush.
Fourth, if you are her superior, use a three-step approach to manage her: Appreciate - Criticize - Appreciate. Affirm her abilities - Criticize her from time to time - Shortly after the criticism, praise her appropriately a few times.
This way, she is both afraid of you and feels that you appreciate her overall.
5. If you are her subordinate, there are two situations: one is that you like her and she likes you more. If you don’t like her, you should maintain superficial respect.
Chunlai said, "I don't really like people like that. I like teachers who are patient and encouraging. By the way, how did you spot that graduate student?"
“Her other four fingers are long, but her pinky is short.
People with long fingers are good at studying and are also tall. Being good at studying means being smart, but that doesn't necessarily mean they will get into college.
Some people are good-looking and fall in love too early.
Some people have poor self-control and like to play.
Some people have broken families, which affects their mood, or have no one to send them to school, making it difficult for them to go to college.
But she was different, with a broad forehead and a wealthy family. More importantly, people like her were very competitive.
Her family was well-off and could afford to support her through school. She was very competitive and was determined to get the best grades. If she continued studying, she would have no problem passing the postgraduate entrance exam.
More importantly, she's not very good-looking. I don't think you'd be interested in her."
Spring comes with a shy smile.
"Girls with average looks are often ignored by their male classmates, which fuels her strong desire to stand out. To gain recognition in society, a high level of education is essential. She's the perfect age for graduate school."
"What does a short pinky finger have to do with reading?"
"It doesn't matter. It means she has no talent for music. For example, she can't sing or dance well, so she can only study."
Chun said, "Your personality analysis method is really helpful in finding a wife. For example, if a man who is not good at studying finds a wife like this, the intelligence of the next generation will improve."
I laughed out loud. "That's just wishful thinking on your part. If he looks like this woman and has the intelligence of his father, wouldn't that be a bad gamble? It's safer to go with Wang Qian. The odds of winning are higher."
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