It's my mother's voice

(Small Theater) Qi Sheng ~ Lei (University Finale)

Everyone has their youth, but my university years ended in disappointment. I had hoped to excel until graduation, but unexpectedly, I was detained for 15 days because of fighting. I lost my Party membership, Three Good Students status, class cadre status, and scholarships. Fortunately, my girlfriend never left me, and since then, I've been even more focused on relationships.

I'm a fairly secretive person, and I can keep everything to myself. But when I'm drunk and think of someone, it's like I'm letting go, like a tiger returning to the mountains. I can't control myself. I feel like I've lost half of myself, and I want to get it back. Maybe I really don't have a good alcohol tolerance. Whether I speak the truth after drinking, I don't know, but my heart is truly broken.

If, I mean if, we had cleared up the misunderstanding at that time, would we have had a different ending? I feel that we would definitely be together. At that time, I could really let go of a lot.

~~~

"Yueyue, have you packed everything?"

"It's almost done, Mom. Do you really not want me to stay home with you?"

"I'm already old enough, why do I need you to accompany me? Besides, aren't your aunt and uncle there? After they leave, Damei will have a holiday. He said his factory is too far away and he doesn't want to travel back and forth, so he insists on staying at your house. Besides, the Chinese New Year is not far away, so you will have another holiday."

"Then you have to take good care of yourself, mom. I'll go back and take care of the follow-up work."

Mother Lan touched Yueyue's head and said, "Yueyue, although Beijing and Huai are far away, it's not a place we can't reach. If I miss you, I'll go see you. If you miss me, you can go home. You don't have to resign. As for you, go back and think carefully about what you want. No matter what you decide, I will always support you."

Qiyue is a child who grew up in love, and this will also be the most determined source of strength for Qiyue to turn the tide in the future.

If the last time she took the bus was torture, then this time, for Qiyue, it was confusing.

When they returned to the dormitory, Meimei was already waiting for them. Qiyue had already talked to Meimei on WeChat before, so there was no need to say anything more, and Qiyue didn't want to say anything either.

Qi Yue is like this. If something cannot be solved or she doesn’t want to face it, she will choose to forget it.

Zhenzhen saw that Qiyue didn't say anything, so she could guess about 80% of it, and she tacitly said nothing.

For some things, you can only deal with them yourself, whether you are sad or happy.

It was just the usual routine of preparing lessons, teaching, leaving classes, and going on vacation. The difference was that Qi Yue no longer liked to laugh, and the only smile she had was for the children.

At first, Qiyue just frequently sent WeChat messages to her mother. If her mother replied a little late, Qiyue would call her. Her tone was extremely anxious and she was in a state of anxiety. She sternly told her mother to reply in time.

Immediately afterwards, because the campus performance was affected by taking leave, the regional manager talked to Qiyue and specifically mentioned the issue of her father's death. In fact, he just wanted to tell Qiyue not to delay work because of personal problems, and asked her to solve the problem of poor campus performance as soon as possible.

Because she had to ask for leave before, Qiyue told the regional manager the truth, and no one else knew anything.

"You mentioned it today. So, is that a threat? Maybe I'm just being overly sensitive right now, but I really, really hate that tone."

When Qi Yue turned around and left, she crushed the pen in her hand, but she didn't feel the pain of the wound.

"Businessman, nothing more than that."

However, Qiyue was still immersed in sadness during this period. In addition, the teacher turnover rate was high before the New Year. Even if Qiyue wanted to solve the problem, it would take time.

One day later, when Qi Yue was standing in the classroom and looking down at the building, she would think of the sentence she had heard in junior high school, "Can I go home by jumping off the building?"

When Zhenzhen saw Qiyue staring blankly out the window at the door, she sent a message to Meimei.

"Meimei, Qiyue is quiet now, doesn't want to see anyone, is pessimistic, and in a bad mood. She's also lost a lot of weight."

“Time, waiting, enduring, if you can endure it, then endure it, if you can’t endure it, then endure it.”

Meimei put down her phone and thought to herself, "When will this rain stop in July?"

As the year draws to a close, it's peak season for teacher resignations. Five teachers have already resigned, and July's class schedule has been increased. Once people get busy, they tend to have fewer random thoughts.

In this way, I was busy and tired and finally made it to the Spring Festival.

The difference is that this year's Spring Festival was spent at Aunt Qi Yue's house, with my aunt's family, uncle's family, and Qi Yue's family.

There are no couplets posted at Qi Yue’s house, and they will not be posted in the next two years.

"Mom, where is the bracelet that my dad left at home?"

"I thought it was useless, so I gave it to your uncle."

In fact, he was afraid that Qi Yue would be reminded of Lan's father when she saw the item. After all, it was something that Lan's father often held in his hands when he was alive.

"Mom, why didn't you ask me before you touched Dad's things? Who told you to take them away?"

Lan's mother noticed Qiyue's emotional fluctuations and comforted her, "Don't worry, Yueyue. Mom will go and tell you to bring it back to you in a moment."

When Qi Yue heard "I'll go later," it was as if a force was about to burst out of her body, but she didn't know how to vent it. She looked at the cup on the table, picked up the cup and slammed it hard on the table.

With a "bang", the cup was pressed on the table and shattered into pieces.

"Drip, drip, drip" red liquid dripped down Qi Yue's left hand, staining the original wooden floor red, scaring Lan Mu who went to get her cell phone.

At this time, Qi Yue could not hear any sound. She could only feel darkness all around her. Even her vision was blurry. She felt empty and numb. Her body was stiff and uncontrollably, unable to move at all.

"Yueyue, Yueyue."

"It's mom, it's mom's voice."

Qi Yue regained her sanity at her mother's cries. Seeing her mother holding a towel and blocking Qi Yue's bleeding fingers with trembling hands, Qi Yue knelt down and hugged her mother: "Mom, don't be afraid, I'm fine, I really am fine, I was just careless."

My sister and brother-in-law drove Qiyue to the hospital. The hospital was really deserted on the fifth day of the Lunar New Year.

The blood vessels in the little finger of my left hand were broken, so it was simply sutured with six stitches in total.

The doctor was worried that my fingers would hurt at night, so he prescribed some painkillers.

Because of her worry, Lan's mother lay next to Qi Yue and didn't sleep much all night, fearing that her daughter's finger was hurting and she didn't feel it in time.

Even when Qi Yue was asleep, she was clearly aware that her mother was covering her with a blanket from time to time.

Love has always been there, but Qiyue just can’t see it.

The next day, Lan Damei found out and bought a lot of snacks for Qiyue, and scolded her at the same time. Qiyue didn't say a word, and just looked out the window quietly, unusually quiet.

Lan Damei looked at her sister like this, turned her head away and wiped away her tears.

"Sister, do you know that I feel so bad when you are like this?"

Lan Yuezhi, who was already worried, became even more annoyed when he saw his sister like this.

When Qiyue returned to school, her first surprise was a gift from Hui Ge. She had resigned. The reason was simple: she didn't want to get caught up in the company's internal strife or form cliques. She simply wanted to pursue academic research and delve into her own studies.

"Why didn't you discuss it in advance? I'm not mentally prepared."

"Didn't I tell you last time I came? I told you I was tired of it. It was you who was distracted and didn't think carefully."

"Also, what happened to your hand?"

"It's okay, I just bumped into it accidentally."

"I've really decided. It's been a long time since I've finally made it this far."

"Qiyue, if you keep struggling in life, when will you be able to start over? Make a decision as soon as possible and seize the opportunity to be free. Instead of wasting time, it is better to be free and easy."

Yes, why bother? You only have one life, and there will be regrets no matter what choice you make. It depends on what you want to choose at the moment, and the choice you make at the moment is what you want most.

Qi Yue held up the coffee Hui Hui had bought: "Then, let's meet again in the rivers and lakes, regardless of east or west."

"I wish us a peaceful and prosperous life in the coming years."

Huihui knew that Qiyue’s four favorite words were “May everything go well for you”.

Ring Ring Ring

"Yueyue, what's wrong? Why did you make so many calls?"

"Mom, why is your phone still turned off? Where have you been?"

"Oh, I'm going to your aunt's house in Yanjiang with your aunt. I told you everything, did you forget?"

"Oh, sorry, you said you couldn't remember things lately."

"Oh, don't worry. We're already at your aunt's house. What are you worried about? We got off the airport and took a taxi straight away. The driver was so helpful. He was worried I wouldn't know how to use the taxi app, so he even topped up my membership and said the money was in my account so I could use it next time. It was so convenient."

"Okay, Mom, please be careful. If someone asks you to download software or sign up for membership, just tell them that they don't need it. Remember?"

"Needless to say, my mother must have been cheated by the driver. Later, when I got home and checked my mother's taxi app, there was really no recharge record." Qi Yue thought to herself.

"Kid, I'm not a stupid old lady. Okay, I'll remember this. Just go to work."

"By the way, Yueyue, I've talked to your uncle about that bracelet. I'll get it back for you when I pass by on my way home this time," Lan's mother said cautiously.

"Oh, I see. I don't want anything else. I just want the one made by Dad and Uncle."

The raw material of this bracelet is a piece of wood left by Grandpa Qi Yue, which is not valuable. Father Lan made it into bracelets out of remembrance, one for himself and one for his younger brother.

"It turns out that not only can I 'not forget' the death of my loved ones, but even my own father can't 'forget' it."

The end of life is not "death", but "forgetfulness".

"If even I have forgotten my father, who else will remember?"

But humans are emotional animals, with excellent memories. Some things will be painful if you think about them, but you can't do it if you don't think about them.

It’s really a dilemma no matter what choice you make.