Chapter 45: Even though it's all in the past and she's not being noticed, she's still herself...

On the second Wednesday, Wen Yuan and Liu Xin went to get their divorce certificate.

After Yu Xue finished recording the song, she had nothing else to do, so she accompanied Wen Feng to take Wen Yuan back to her grandmother's house. Two days later, she accompanied Wen Feng to the old house to pack things up.

Yu Xue went to Wen Yuan's study to tidy up, while Wen Feng went to tidy up his own room.

Wen Yuan's study has three areas: his office area, a companion area opposite his study, and a living area. Everywhere there's green, which Liu Xin likes; her mother says she likes vibrant colors. The floor isn't green, but the carpet is, and there's a water glass with three names on it.

The third area is the children's area, which has many children's books and classics required reading for primary and secondary school students. Yu Xue picked up a copy of "Gulliver's Travels" at random. It was her favorite book when she was in primary school. She doesn't remember most of the plot, but she does remember that the people in Lilliput can't see your whole body, but they can see the pockmarks on your face more easily.

I don't remember anything from the whole article except this sentence: When she was in junior high school and had excessive anxiety about her appearance, she deliberately kept her distance from everyone, constantly changing angles, afraid that others would look at her closely.

She knew that once others saw her pockmarked face, they would distance themselves from her and ridicule her. Even though her face was almost flawless, without acne scars or obvious moles, only a few pimples on her forehead, a large group of people could still find fault with her.

She took the book with her, intending to read it again when she had time; she really should work on her concentration.

She caught a glimpse of something glittering out of the corner of her eye, paused for a moment, turned her head, and searched it carefully.

It's a ring, on the second shelf of the last row of bookshelves.

Yu Xue picked it up; there was a rather large diamond on it.

This is definitely still needed. It looks quite valuable. The Wen family's jewelry is never cheap; it might even have been acquired at an auction.

Yu Xue put the ring in her pocket and went to his room to find him.

She pushed open the door and saw Wen Feng sitting quietly on the bed, facing the window.

This is Wen Feng's room, and it was also the room where Yu Xue did her homework in junior high school. The teacher always said that she made a lot of mistakes in math problems, so Liu Xin asked Wen Feng to teach her. So later, Yu Xue did her homework in Wen Feng's room. Yu Xue was very familiar with that desk.

The chair at the desk was a bit too low for Wen Feng now that he was in college, but since he didn't usually work at that desk, he hadn't replaced it. When Yu Xue was little, it was a perfect fit.

The chair remained exactly as it was, unchanged.

Yu Xue walked over and sat down on the chair. She hadn't grown much taller, so the chair was a good fit for her.

She turned to look at Wen Feng, "You're reluctant to sell?"

Wen Feng said, "When I was little, my dad would often play with me. He would hold my mom and spin her around in the room, saying that my mom was a princess and that I was a knight who had to take good care of the princess."

He lowered his eyes. "But as I grew older, my mother became the knight who protected me, while my father became the prince who hid behind the knight. Whenever there was a conflict at home, or my grandparents had any complaints, or my uncles and aunts had any grievances, my father would shrink his head and remain silent no matter how much my mother was scolded."

“I thought my mother would keep putting up with this, but on the day I graduated from college, she flipped the table.” He looked at the doll his mother had made for him by hand on the bed. “I thought she was weak, but it turns out she was waiting for me to grow up.”

He said, "I've grown up, my family has fallen apart, and I don't even have a house anymore."

Yu Xue sat down next to him, her legs touching his, and gently stroked his back.

Wen Feng: "Actually, I'm not just saddened by their love, I'm also sad for my mother. She endured for more than ten years for my sake. Now that I've finally grown up, how can I tell her to endure it any longer?"

He rubbed the corners of his eyes, trying not to let the tears fall.

Yu Xue put her arm around his shoulder and patted him gently. "Mom loves you very much. Everyone says that parents also have their own lives and shouldn't force each other for the sake of their children. That's true, but it's really hard to do. If you're not careful, you might end up making your child take the blame instead of doing it for them. Mom really loves you. She has never complained to you or blamed you. She has truly held you in the palm of her hand and protected you as you grew up."

Wen Feng held Yu Xue's head with his hand, pulled her into his arms, and hugged her. "Xue Xue, we must never do this again. If we have children, we must not let them think that our relationship is bad."

“Yes.” Yu Xue nodded. “Yes, if we have children, we must be the best parents. If we really can’t be the best couple, we’ll get a divorce. Even if one of us raises the child alone, we can’t let the child see us arguing at home every day. It would be so painful for the child.”

Yu Xue said, "Let's buy this house. Don't tell Mom. We'll each pay half. From now on, it will be our joint property."

"Okay." Wen Feng nodded.

Yu Xue's second album sold very well; within a few days, it surged to the top of the platform's best-selling list.

The "bad things" she did on variety shows in the past, such as "spreading rumors about her own mother," "having a vicious laugh," "arranging the dishes horizontally while eating," and "not waiting for the elderly to start eating," which were all the subject of much criticism, are no longer mentioned by anyone.

Overnight, public opinion returned to the level it was at the peak of her career five years ago.

She scrolled through the comments, but couldn't feel happy.

Some rumors may never have a chance to be clarified.

The situation is now much better, so she can't bring it up herself.

But she wanted to explain, she wanted to stand in front of the screen with a clear conscience, she wanted to say that she did not spread rumors about her mother, that the laughter sounded vicious because her voice was hoarse that day, that it was indeed wrong of her to place the dishes horizontally while eating, and that no one had taught her that, but that it was false that she did not wait for the elderly woman to start eating first, in fact the elderly woman had already taken two or three bites, but the program team did not edit it in.

Her fans have explained for her many times and even found evidence of the show's messy editing, but the popularity is very low. The smear posts have millions of likes, while the clarification posts only have 10,000 likes.

But what can she say about it herself? It's been four years; the production team probably doesn't even have the original footage anymore.

How can she explain her spreading rumors about her mother? Should she say she's sick?

She scrolled through her contacts; very few new numbers were saved, and even including Wen Feng's alternate numbers, she had less than ten.

If Lin Yinyin were here, she would definitely say a series of rather inappropriate things, but she would be happy to hear them.

Sometimes, you don't need to reason with your friends; the emotional value of that one moment is very important.

Perhaps it was just that moment of inappropriate behavior that made someone realize the truth and move on.

She held the phone in her hand, then picked it up again.

She's already taken so many steps forward, why can't she take this one more?

So what if Lin Yinyin doesn't consider her her best friend? Why does she have to be the center of everyone's attention?

Haven't I been hurt enough by those stares since I was a child?

She wasn't Lin Yinyin's whole world, but Lin Yinyin's gaze wasn't so intense as to burn her, nor so cold as to make her sad—it was just right.

Why can't she accept this perfect balance?

Even when she is not being watched, she is still herself.

She dialed the phone.

The bell rang for a long time before I heard a familiar voice.

"Hello?" Lin Yinyin's voice was filled with disbelief. "Honey, why did you suddenly decide to call me?"

Although I had made up my mind, I was still incredibly nervous as the moment approached.

She said, "Uh... I, I, I'd like to ask you out for dinner. Are you in China recently?"

Lin Yinyin was silent for a moment, then said, "No, I went abroad before New Year's Day. Ugh, you know what kind of mess I've been through... I'd better not go back yet. I'm afraid extremists will come and bang on my door. I'm currently taking my best friend on a world tour. What's wrong? Why did you suddenly decide to invite me to dinner?"

Yu Xue: "I just... uh... I want to talk to someone."

She heard the noise on Lin Yinyin's end subside, and after a while, she heard the sound of a door being opened. Then, the surroundings suddenly became quiet, leaving only Lin Yinyin's voice, "What's wrong? I saw that your album sales are very good, aren't you happy? You didn't call Versailles just for this, did you, my darling?"

Yu Xue laughed out loud; she knew Lin Yinyin was joking.

She said, "I want to explain to you first, um... it was my fault for not contacting you first before, I'm sorry. I was sick at the time, ha... I don't know what was wrong with me, I just couldn't control my emotions, and I was immersed in dreams every day. My friends and family in this world seemed to have disappeared. The doctor said this illness is called beautiful dreams."

"Ah..." Lin Yinyin's tone instantly turned somber. "I've heard of this illness. You... you've had such a serious problem and you're only telling me now?"

Yu Xue: "I didn't mean to hide it from you. At the time... I didn't even know I was sick. I thought I had traveled through time, haha."

“Maybe it really is,” Lin Yinyin chimed in. “Time travel is amazing, the doctor wouldn’t believe you’re from the past, he’d definitely say you’re having a relapse. Maybe there really are people who have traveled from the past, it’s just that the doctor doesn’t believe it.”

Yu Xue's hands were a little sore, so she leaned against the table. "Maybe, I hope so too."

Lin Yinyin said, "You called me just to say this? Don't worry, I was indeed a little sad at the time, but it's all in the past now. Everything has been explained, and I'm not dwelling on it anymore. From now on, we'll still be friends. Since you're sick and can't contact me on your own, I'll try to contact you more often."

Yu Xue was amused when she saw her suddenly become serious; she had rarely seen her serious since she was a child.

She said, "There's something else. Actually, my bad mood has almost gone away by now, but I was really conflicted just now, so I still wanted to tell you."

Lin Yinyin: "What?"

Yu Xue: "Hmm... let me think about how to say it... Do you remember some people online saying that I spread rumors about my mother? Actually, no. We've known each other for so many years, you know my mother best, and I know it too. The incoherent things I said back then were related to my illness. I want to explain, I don't want to be a bad person, but I... I can't say I'm sick. If I really say that, they'll assume I committed suicide after my injury, they'll think I'm mentally ill, they'll think I..."

As she spoke, she was about to cry again when a piece of paper was handed to her. She took it, looked at Wen Feng next to her, nodded, and agreed to let him sit next to her.

Yu Xue: "Oh dear... it's me, it's me, I don't know how to say it..."

Lin Yinyin remained silent for a long time before asking, "So, did you attempt suicide before? Is it convenient for you to say?"

After waiting for a while without hearing a response from the other end of the phone, Lin Yinyin realized what was happening and quickly said, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked. Saying it's inconvenient is the same as saying yes. Uh... no, sorry."

Silence, inconvenience, yes—these all seem to be the same answer.

Yu Xue smiled, shrugged, and said in a seemingly relaxed manner, "It was suicide, it's nothing, it's all in the past."