Chapter 47, the final chapter: She will become the best version of herself...

The holiday was too short. Yu Xue felt like she hadn't spent more than a few days with Wen Feng before he had to go back to work.

Just then, Yu Xue received an invitation to the Lulu Awards ceremony. This award is quite prestigious in the industry, but it was last year's award. Yu Xue's album was only released after New Year's Day this year, so she definitely didn't qualify. She just went to the back row to watch.

She hesitated for a moment, but still went.

She hasn't socialized with anyone for a long time. Her condition has recently stabilized. Although she still has symptoms of insomnia and overeating, she's no longer so prone to suddenly getting trapped in her dreams.

However, there are still occasional situations where it's hard to distinguish between dreams and reality.

For example, one day she dreamed that Wen Feng said he wanted to eat the lotus root and pork rib soup she cooked herself. The next afternoon, she went to cook it, but suddenly remembered that Wen Feng said he was going to spend two days with his father and hadn't come home at all, so it was impossible for him to say that.

She told the doctor about it, and the doctor changed her medication and congratulated her, saying that she was now aware that she was dreaming.

She asked the doctor if she could attend the event, which was only two hours long.

The doctor said it was okay to go, but suggested that a family member accompany you.

Yu Xue scratched her head. Wen Feng isn't a musician, so it's not appropriate for him to go.

Wen Feng said he could wait for her outside.

She felt she should attend this event; it was the fastest way for her fans to see her current situation. Without her fans, she wouldn't have recovered so quickly, and a large part of her strength came from them.

She was lucky to have so many people love her while she was sick.

She's almost fully recovered now and wants to see them, to let them know that she's alright and they don't need to worry.

She doesn't need to complain to her fans, she doesn't need them to spend more time suffering for her, she just wants them to be at ease, and she hopes they won't have to wait so hard anymore.

The previous stylist had professional aspirations. Although Yu Xue did not fire her, she did not want to follow Yu Xue's lead and resigned.

Yu Xue originally thought she would never need a stylist again, so she didn't think about this matter.

She has severe appearance anxiety, and it's impossible for her to find a stylist who suits her taste in a short period of time. She thought about shamelessly asking her previous stylist if she was available, but then she heard that the stylist had already found a new boss, so she didn't dare to bother her anymore.

Wen Feng frankly said, "I'm telling you honestly, you're very beautiful. Even if you have some weird hairstyle, it won't make your face look bad. So we just need to find a stylist with decent skills."

Yu Xue hummed in agreement. "That's the only way."

Yu Xue turned her head to the side and said truthfully, "I'm only telling you this. I've thought about getting plastic surgery before."

Wen Feng's pupils contracted slightly, but quickly returned to normal. He said, "You're already so beautiful, you don't need it, absolutely not. It's not that I don't support you, but plastic surgery carries the risk of failure. I think you're already very beautiful, there's no need to take that risk."

Yu Xue looked down at her toes and said, "Maybe... beauty is in the eye of the beholder."

"No." Wen Feng quickly defended himself. He was about to refute Yu Xue, but then he shut his mouth. After thinking for a moment, he spoke again, "...Okay, even if we're not perfect, we don't need to be good-looking. We can't shape our own faces. We just need to protect our voices."

Yu Xue knew that, rather than getting plastic surgery, she should learn how to let go of her obsession with beauty.

She asked herself countless times, "So what if I'm not beautiful?"

There are plenty of cases online of people being criticized even after getting plastic surgery. Her decision to get plastic surgery is just stirring up a new wave of online bullying.

With a bang, she slammed the water glass down on the table, stood up as if making a firm decision, and said, "Fine, I don't want to think about it anymore. This is what I look like, do whatever you want."

At this moment, her determination reached its peak.

I just don't know how long they can keep it up.

She had heard a saying, "There are no ugly women, only lazy women." However, when she was busy in the past, she didn't have time to dedicate her hard work to her appearance, and when she was off work at home, she had no mood to dedicate herself to beauty.

Should we say she's lazy because of this?

To be honest, I felt much more comfortable during the time I didn't have anxiety about my appearance.

During the most anxious period of her junior high school years, she didn't even dare to look at herself in photos. When she received the group photo from military training, she didn't even glance at it before putting it directly into her backpack. When passing by reflective glass, she didn't dare to look up or face her own reflection.

Even when turning on the front-facing camera on my phone, I have to point the phone at the ceiling first to avoid taking a picture of myself.

When she washed her face in the morning and looked at herself in the mirror, she suddenly felt incredibly beautiful. She marveled at her own beauty and wanted to look at herself longer, reluctant to look away. But after putting the mirror down, a while later, her left and right brains started to fight each other, concluding that her beauty was only visible to herself, and that others must not see her this way.

She stroked the ring on her hand and said, "When I was in college, I tried to let go of my appearance anxiety. One day, I was walking down the street and told my roommate that I felt I was pretty average-looking and not as pretty as other celebrities. I couldn't sleep at night when I was anxious. Suddenly, a stranger next to me turned around with concern and said to me, 'Honey, you can't think like that. You are beautiful. Even if you are not, so what? You have no obligation to be beautiful.'"

Wen Feng took her hand and listened quietly to what she had to say.

Yu Xue said, "I've tried to comfort myself with this phrase countless times, but it's no use. My plan to combat my appearance anxiety has failed."

“It hasn’t failed yet,” Wen Feng said. “This plan can continue until we are all old and dead. As long as we are alive and as long as we are still fighting against the anxiety of our appearance, this plan will be implemented forever.”

“Then, let’s set a five-year goal.” Yu Xue held up her little finger. “Five years from now, I hope I can stand on stage without makeup.”

"Okay," Wen Feng said. "Ten years from now, I hope you'll dare to attend events wearing warm clothes in winter."

"Okay." Yu Xue nodded.

The two people pinky swear and stamp their seals.

Yu Xue: "Mr. Wen Feng, are you willing to accompany your loved one in carrying out this plan? To constantly remind her not to cry over her appearance until the end of her life."

Wen Feng said, "I am willing. Ms. Yu Xue, would you be willing to confide in your husband when you cry because of your appearance, until this plan is a complete success?"

Yu Xue said, "I'm willing."

A month later, at the awards ceremony, she appeared in a mermaid-style long dress that wasn't particularly stunning.

At this moment, her shoulders were still bare; she had taken off her warm down jacket before entering the venue.

Ten years later, they entered the venue wearing warm clothes.

Is it really possible?

Her first thought was a down jacket, but after thinking about it carefully, she realized that a suit would also work. She could buy an oversized suit and wear a sweater and long underwear underneath, so that her ankles and arms wouldn't be exposed.

Compared to down jackets, suits are more forgiving of her appearance anxiety.

She smiled and said, "Let's talk about it in ten years."

She really hoped she wouldn't be the one to lead the charge.

She turned her head and saw someone she knew. Out of politeness, she wanted to go up and say hello, and the two of them went inside together.

But the other person walked past her without even glancing at her.

She gave an awkward smile and decided to go in by herself.

She glanced around before going in and didn't see any of her fans.

It's okay. It's all dark and blurry, so it's hard to spot. Maybe it is, but it's been pushed to the back.

As long as they know she's safe and sound, that's enough.

Returning from the awards ceremony late was quite boring for Yu Xue. Four years had passed, and the music industry had seen a significant change in its talent pool. She didn't recognize any of the award recipients, but to win this award, the person must be a very talented newcomer. She silently noted down the recipient's name and decided to listen to her songs when she got back.

At nine o'clock, the party ended, and she still didn't see any fans greeting her outside the door. She knew that the party was strictly managed and that not many fans would come, but she didn't expect that there wouldn't be a single one.

Perhaps the fans simply didn't know she was coming; she herself didn't want it promoted, so who can they blame?

Moreover, Yu Xue feels heartbroken every time she hears how much her fans have traveled to get here, so it's better if they don't come.

She walked around in circles on the road, not knowing what she was doing.

Wen Feng chased after her.

Yu Xue said, "I want to walk around for a while; it's a bit stuffy inside because of the heating."

Wen Feng: "Okay."

After he finished speaking, he put a down jacket on her and followed silently behind her, feeling a pang of heartache as he listened to the clanging of her high heels.

He said, "I brought you slippers, would you like to change?"

Yu Xue waved her hand, "No need."

She was starting to lose sight of herself; what was she trying to do?

On one hand, she was reluctant to let her fans travel long distances for her, and on the other hand, she was reluctant to give up the feeling of being surrounded by fans.

She wanted to get some fresh air and calm down.

As she passed by the Snowy Avenue, she suddenly saw a bright light.

She looked over instinctively and was greeted by a vast blue ocean.

She examined them closely and discovered that they were not the ocean, but snowflakes emitting a blue light, snowflakes held up by millions of hands, which held them above their heads.

If nothing unexpected happens, Yu Xue's car will pass by here, but it will only be passing by. If she hadn't suddenly decided to go for a walk, she probably wouldn't have seen this patch of blue, and even if she had, she wouldn't have been able to see the fans holding up snowflakes clearly.

But they remained standing there, afraid to approach her for fear of causing her trouble if they got too close to the event area. They could only stay there, holding up the blue snowflakes.

Bystanders don't understand why someone would develop such strong feelings for a stranger online, or why they would be willing to travel over mountains and rivers just to make the person on stage, who is already doing well, happy.

But love is love, who knows? Maybe they don't even understand it themselves.

Yu Xue didn't know how to respond to such passionate love with the same sincerity, but whether she liked it or not, she was receiving it and had to repay them with all her heart.

Wen Feng was pleased with his foresight and asked his assistant to bring over the doll that Yu Xue had made.

This is what Yu Xue worked on for a month. She didn't do much else during that month except make dolls, and she only made about fifty of them.

She took the bag from Wen Feng, and in her high heels, jogged over to hug the person standing at the front.

She felt the person holding her crying, and she cried too.

Yu Xue said, "I made these dolls myself, but I didn't make many..."

As she spoke, she tossed the dolls out.

A commotion erupted from the crowd as everyone started talking to her.

Yu Xue heard many people asking her how she was doing.

She took two steps back, trying to see them all as much as possible.

She said, "Thank you all, I'm doing well. I hope you're doing well too, but I hope you won't travel so far for me! Everyone should take care of their own lives first! I hope we can meet again at a concert!"

She raised her hand to wipe away her tears, and her heart ached even more.

It hurts more than when I didn't see them.

She was heartbroken because she didn't know how to repay so many people who loved her.

She also remembered her saying that she would give a free concert to those who love her.

She will get well soon, take good care of herself, and get back on stage, using her best voice to meet those ardent gazes.

One day, she will become the best Yu Xue she always was.

—The End—

-----------------------

The author's note: Yu Xue's beautiful dream has ended. I believe her future no longer needs to rely on fleeting dreams. I wish that each of us can take every step steadily and that we will all have the day when our dreams come true.