Chapter 41

It was Jingyao who first pressed for information about the man's whereabouts.

Fang Xu didn't quite understand this. It wasn't that he hadn't had boyfriends before, but Jingyao always had the attitude of "I don't understand how you gay people make friends," "Don't touch me," and "None of my business."

Nanfei and Jingyao had no connection whatsoever. Even if they tried to establish a relationship, they could only be described as strangers who had met a few times. At most, because Fang Xu wanted to pursue Nanfei, Jingyao attended his training course for a week.

That was all there was to it, so Fang Xu was quite surprised when he suddenly heard Jingyao mention Nanfei.

He exclaimed dramatically, "Jingyao, are you serious? So many cool guys are chasing after you, and you actually like a gay guy?"

Jingyao was furious: "You can't expect a dog's mouth to come out of an ivory shell!"

She grabbed the microphone stand and angrily wiped it, saying indignantly, "You'll suffer a great loss sooner or later if you treat feelings like this. We're friends, don't blame me for not warning you."

Fang Xu smiled helplessly and spread his hands: "Can you be reasonable? I was the one who got dumped, and I'm telling the truth. Feelings are like the tide, it's normal for them to rise and fall. I assure you that my love for my partner is genuine, but the ebb tide is also a natural phenomenon, you can't force me to do that."

Jingyao snapped, "Get out! I don't want to listen to your nonsense."

Fang Xu exchanged a helpless glance with the person next to him, paid the bill and left. This small, dilapidated house in the suburbs had been completely transformed into a charming country-style bar, which was well-maintained. Countless young people came here to relax at night, and Fang Xu deserves much of the credit for this.

However, when Jingyao asked whether the upstairs screening room should be kept, Fang Xu was very indifferent, which is why Jingyao asked Nanfei.

The conversation ended unhappily. Fang Xu had nothing to do, so he slowly walked out with his hands in his pockets.

He lay on the porch. The hammock outside had been removed earlier, and the large tree, which always had small insects flying around, stood bare in the middle of the courtyard.

Crack—

A crimson glow appeared in the darkness, and the pungent smell of earthenware smoke irritated the nose and lungs.

Fang Xu took a drag and exhaled smoke.

The winter rain fell sparsely on the ground, and a cold wave swept in, bringing with it the desolation of early winter when everything was withered and bare.

Fang Xu disliked winter; it was so cold, it felt like he could never stay warm, and the chill would seep into his limbs and bones, making him restless.

Winter is gray and black, just like the scene I saw when I first went to that man's house and opened the door.

The space is distinct and the light and shadow are quiet. There are almost no green plants or warm colors. On the dark shelf, a pot of red mushrooms is placed together with a densely packed collection of reference books. They are plump and round. Several small mushroom bags have grown on the nutrient wood. They are cute but out of place in the whole room.

The man had just finished get off work and was still wearing a well-fitting suit. He spoke very little, took off his coat and hung it up, and slowly rolled up his sleeves. His movements were not particularly elegant, but Fang Xu found them quite pleasing to the eye.

The man glanced around, realizing the room was too cold and solemn, then turned and beckoned to Fang Xu: "Come in, don't be shy."

Then he bent down and took out a pair of brand-new, soft slippers from the shoe cabinet, and placed them naturally at the door.

The room was quiet, but there was a faint, lingering scent that belonged to Nanfei himself.

hiss--

Fang Xu burned his hand with the burning cigarette butt and realized that he had been standing in the winter rain in a daze for a while.

He was feeling down and bored, so he flicked away his cigarette butt. He checked his phone and, sure enough, the chat windows kept popping up with all sorts of people. Even Old Man Fang, who was always on business trips and practically lived on airplanes, took the time to ask him a few questions, but there was no one named Nanfei.

It's been almost half a year since we broke up.

That guy has completely disappeared from my life.

After all, they were adults who were much more capable than me. Even if they were beaten up by the kid, they could recover quickly and didn't seem to be defeated at all.

Fang Xu turned off the screen, touched the dragon-patterned bracelet on his wrist, and felt a faint sense of frustration, but he quickly put it out of his mind.

True feelings are precious, but they are too easily obtained.

Such feelings are no different from cheap goods in a supermarket, except that they require more time and energy. If you lose them, you only regret the time cost.

However, from time to time, the image of a man will suddenly pop into her mind. When choosing a partner for the night, or when she falls into a new romance, she will deliberately gravitate towards a handsome, aloof, tall, and ethereal man.

Fang Xu didn't know why this was the case. Many people pursued him, and he rarely considered matters of the heart.

If you get along, stay together; if you don't, separate.

Because of his charming and outgoing personality, as well as his outstanding qualities, he has never suffered any losses in his relationships. He also looks down on those men who get caught up in love and get all emotional and tearful.

Playing around happily until you're forty, no, fifty, searching for true love is nowhere near as quick as a deep, meaningful gaze.

So, aside from the time he spent on that man at the beginning, Fang Xu had never been humiliated by anyone else, and in the end, he was dumped by an ungrateful man.

This is probably what's bothering me.

That man is so boring, unromantic, doesn't understand life, and doesn't have a good personality. He's probably still struggling to find true love.

Such troubles never fall on Fang Xu's head, nor does he ever have to consider them. In this circle, there are even many masculine bisexuals who would do bottom for him, and he is adored by many admirers.

Instead of thinking about so many unnecessary things, it's better to focus your time on important matters and try more things while you're young and vibrant, so you won't regret it when you're old, thinking that you didn't see more and make more choices when you were young.

Time slips through our fingers, and before we know it, it's graduation season for Fang Xu.

Two years later, he opened a bar with his friends and no longer had to worry about finding a job. During this time, he went through several relationships, which ended and reconciled, and he grew increasingly disgusted with his exes' persistent pursuit of him.

At times like these, he would remember the advantages of a mature man who is always tolerant and calm.

No, not all men in their thirties are that mature.

It simply refers to a cold-hearted and ruthless man.

Looking back, six months after the breakup, Fang Xu received a package in the mail containing all the gifts he had given to the man, including the pot of poisonous mushrooms that had multiplied and had three generations of plants growing together on the nutrient tree.

There was not a single word else mentioned, yet it clearly conveyed the entire attitude.

Where we come from, we return to.

I don't hear it.

not see.

He remained silent.

Fang Xu was stunned for a moment, looking like he was still hungover, then coldly told the deliveryman to throw it away.

The door slammed shut.

The deliveryman was completely bewildered. He mentally cursed the rude customer, but after doing so, he still had to dutifully carry the box and throw it into the community's trash can.

He was responsible for delivering packages to other residents in the same building. When he came out, he found a person with their head buried in a trash can. The person saw him and immediately ran over, disheveled and furious: "Where's the stuff?"

Well, in the end, all that was found was that pot of poisonous mushrooms that was already in pieces and almost the entire family had died.

Out of concern for the continuation of species in nature, Fang Xu replaced the nutrient wood for this family of mushrooms that had suffered so much. After a difficult week, new mushroom buds finally grew on the mycelium.

From then on, it settled down in the old house and witnessed Fang Xu's colorful and wonderful life.

Okay, all of the above is just Fang Xu's own imagination.

He occasionally thought to himself that it was impossible for him to be worse off than an [old man].

However, fate did not give Fang Xu the opportunity to peek into other people's lives. The two briefly crossed paths before hurriedly heading towards their own lives, and their memories of each other only briefly remained in that summer.

You should always love yourself the most, because no one in the world understands you better than you.

If so, it's a complete illusion.

Therefore, establishing that kind of strong relationship is like taking on the heavy burden of another person's entire life.

Fang Xu found it unnecessary. He believed that only those who lacked charm and ability would confine themselves to a relationship that might fade away, so he continued to follow his own philosophy of life.

Fang Xu scoffed at the idea of ​​enlightenment or repentance, things that perhaps only exist in novels.

As I get older, I sometimes feel a bit bored and think that my idea of ​​living a carefree life until I'm fifty is actually too naive.

By the time you reach twenty-six or twenty-seven, you might feel that having a stable relationship is not bad, at least you won't have to repeat all the steps just to start a new relationship.

When Fang Xu thought this way, he was surprised and secretly worried that he might be aging. This scared him so much that he immediately drove to a bar to party a few times to make sure he was still young.

After partying until dawn, my steps home were much lighter.

Thinking that it was almost seven o'clock, I might as well have breakfast before going back to sleep. In the dead of winter, a bowl of hot soup noodles would be refreshing and appetizing.

Following his old friend's recommendation, Fang Xu found a breakfast shop.

When I entered the restaurant and ordered, I stared at the colorful signs for a while, hesitating about what to eat.

After entering society, his dressing style became more mature. His long, shoulder-length hair was loosely draped over his shoulders, and his black thin sweater had a high-quality feel. Combined with his tall and handsome figure, he exuded an air of sophistication rather than effeminateness.

He frowned, studying the menu carefully, when he suddenly heard something and turned around abruptly.

There were many people queuing up to pick up their food in the store. Those who couldn't sit down stood aside with their bowls in their hands, gulping them down.

A figure sat behind him, across a dining table. The noisy people around him did not drown out his voice, or rather, his voice was a memory unit stored independently in Fang Xu's mind.

It can be activated with a small program, and that program is his voice.

"Ouch."

Among the crowd jostling around, someone couldn't stand the dramatic reunion scene that Fang Xu had imagined, so he superfluously squeezed next to the man and stumbled forward.

"careful!"

"Excuse me!"

Two voices were heard, but what Fang Xu thought was a dramatic event was not actually the case. The person was just a diner who had accidentally fallen, and he was not the main character in this scene.

The man caught the spilled bowl steadily in his arm and said something very politely. The diner apologized repeatedly, embarrassed. Everyone around continued with what they were doing, and no one paid much attention to this small accident.

Fang Xu stood in the crowd, reuniting after five years.

That man never seemed to have an awkward or embarrassed side. He was always calm, composed, and unflappable. Everything could find a peaceful corner in his heart. He was an elder, representing authority or confidence, but he was also very tolerant.

Being with him feels like returning to one's roots, like a bird returning to its nest. Once a man loves you and allows himself to love you, he will light a fire on the coldest winter night.

That's undeniable... but it's never the best.

As for what is the best, Fang Xu doesn't understand either.

People are always boring, and spending too much time with the same person makes it even more boring. A life that was originally full of passion and love will be filled with trivial matters, and a future that was originally wonderful and colorful will become like a pearl that has lost its luster, turning into a cold stone.

But when he saw him again, Fang Xu suddenly realized that his previous views seemed to be wrong, but he didn't understand where the mistake was.

Author's Note: