Chapter 9: The Reluctance of Christmas

Starting in December, tree branches along the streets were adorned with yellow lights, and Christmas trees were set up in shopping districts. The strong Christmas atmosphere greatly soothed Suginohara Raku's homesickness while living alone in China.

It’s just strange that the music played everywhere is not Joey Woo’s “All I want for Chirstmas is you”, but “Into the Unknown” from the recently hit movie Frozen 2, and it’s played so frequently that the brainwashing effect is outstanding.

When I left the group, I was still thinking about the music of today's choreography. When I got home and started to take out my keys, I had already started humming Into

the Unknown~~~~

As I walked in humming a song, I saw Guan Yue wiping her tears while holding her computer. I glanced at the calendar and it was December 22nd.

I understood it immediately.

Le doesn't like to read media reports or browse social media. She keeps her social circle simple. After completing her advanced training, her instructor's recommendation landed her opportunities to apprentice and collaborate with several major Chinese dance companies. Besides rehearsing performances for the company and teaching part-time at an amateur ballet studio, she also takes on private choreography work.

She had been somewhat avoiding the news about Yuzuru Hanyu. After all, seeing him would remind her of the words he said with a smile that day. She hadn't had a nightmare this month and didn't want it to happen again.

But no matter how much she tries to avoid it, she can't avoid the fact that her roommate is a huge fan of Yuzuru Hanyu. Her mood is a barometer of Hanyu's performance in the competition.

Therefore, although Le did not know it actively, he still got this information:

Yuzuru Hanyu won the NHK Trophy and had a blast skating in exhibition skating, as Guan Yue was so happy she danced with joy at home, and they played "Haruyo, Come" for several days. The GPF had a program consisting of five quadruple jumps, but didn't win the championship. Guan Yue passionately cursed the ISU for three days at home, while praising "Starfall Night" for its beauty, and they played "The Swan" for several days at home as a substitute for meals.

If I remember correctly, today is the All Japan Championships. Judging from the way he is wiping his tears, he must not be the champion.

"LeLe, you're back! Come help me translate this video! What did he say?" Guan Yue pulled Le over to sit in front of the computer, the screen frozen on a sweaty Yuzuru Hanyu smiling with squinting eyes. "It breaks my heart watching this! I can't understand it without subtitles, I'm so anxious."

Drag the mouse to return to the scene where Hanyu walks towards the post-match interview screen. Press the space bar to play the video.

This was the first time Le had seen Yuzuru Hanyu interviewed in over three months. His face, magnified larger than life on the computer screen, was a bit disconcerting. His smile in the video was forced, that squinty smile that was Hanyu's signature fake smile, something Le knew all too well. It looked like the competition wasn't going as well as he'd hoped.

Guan Yue was determined to understand every word, so she pressed the space bar to pause after each sentence and waited for Le to translate for her.

"A reporter asked, 'How did you feel about today's free skate?' Hanyu said, 'I'm tired, but I tried my best.' Hey, don't pause so often. You didn't even hear a word you said."

"Oh, then press it yourself."

The initiative returned to Le's hands. She let the video play and picked out the important parts to tell Guan Yue.

"A reporter asked if the last competition in five weeks was stressful and tiring, considering three major competitions." This time, the reporter was quite polite. Le was thinking this when he saw Hanyu rub his eyes with a stubborn look. His own eyes watered for a moment. This guy, he's holding back again.

"Hmm, what does Haniu say?"

"He said...it has nothing to do with any of this, he's just too weak."

"He's not weak at all, it's the referee who's blind! I'm so pissed off!!! Hey, why didn't you call a timeout? What did the reporter say?"

"Reporters asked what they thought of the All Japan Championships."

"What did Haniu say? Hey, right here, right here. What did he say? He sounded sobbing. Ouch, I can't stand it anymore." Guan Yue took out a tissue and put it under her eyes. Seeing that Le didn't answer, she shook her.

"He said that he just felt it was over and he just felt very weak. Okay, that's all. I'm going back to my room first." Le stood up and went back to his room, leaving Guan Yue alone to loudly insult the ISU and JSF.

Back in her room, Le struck a match and lit the scented candle on her desk. The delicate aroma of white tea brought a sense of calm. Hanyu's regretful yet restrained expression before the camera made Le's throat ache. In the past, she would have been bombarded with Line messages by this time, with a barrage of "regrets" (unwilling) flooding her chat box.

But not today, her phone was quiet.

Was he still sulking, thinking she didn't trust him? Now, after two consecutive losses, he must be feeling even worse. If she sent him a message now, it would probably be considered a provocation no matter what, right? Besides, in his eyes, she was such a utilitarian person.

Thinking of this, Le exited the VPN connection and put down his phone.

There has been no contact for more than three months, which has never happened since the two of them met.

For Le, that argument was more painful than anger. Hanyu Yuzuru's look that night in Toronto, the look of someone who saw through her, was all too familiar. It was the same look those who hadn't believed her had given her back then. Feelings of grievance, fear, and anxiety washed over her after that inconclusive argument. She had nowhere to hide but once again, running away from the source of her emotions.

Of course, she was also angry. Because this time, the one who didn't believe her was Yuzuru Hanyu. Every time she thought about this, she wanted to uninstall Line directly, but when she saw the shaking icon, her heart softened and she failed to uninstall.

Or... just stop worrying about him. She should think about the happy things that happened today. She had been working hard to get into the choreography and execution team of the Winter Olympics opening ceremony, and now she finally received a positive response.

Should be happy tonight.

---

The interview finally ended. After replacing Kosten, Hanyu sat in the locker room, rubbed his dry eyes, and breathed a sigh of relief. It was truly pathetic. I had originally resolved never to shed tears on the court again, but I couldn't bear it any more.

"Hanyu, we're getting ready to leave. Also, please finalize your exhibition skating repertoire and submit it before we leave."

"Okay." Responding to the staff at the door, Yuzuru Hanyu once again took the documents and forms at hand.

The information sheet, handed out at the meeting, was a list of tasks for tomorrow's exhibition skating. It clearly laid out the itinerary and required notes. The title was "Medalist On Ice" in full spelling, followed by the abbreviation MOI in parentheses.

"Moi~" Yuzuru Hanyu reflexively pronounced the three letters, but no one in the locker room responded. He sighed, shook his head, and whispered "Moi Moi~"*.

I read out the itinerary and precautions one by one, and choked up when I saw the opening song.

negativeけないで-ZARD [Don’t give in]

For a moment, I felt like I was hallucinating, even though I didn't call Le to complain about my poor performance. For a moment, I felt like I was hallucinating, but I didn't send her a screen-full of regretful messages this time. My phone was still lying quietly in my bag.

But the words "Don't give up" still came to her at the most unwilling moment, and in a trance, they even sounded like music. That year, she shouted the words "负けないで!" in the crowded venue.

Just take it as a wonderful hint.

Thinking this, Yuzuru Hanyu squatted down beside the bench and lay on it, carefully writing down his choice on the performance skating program confirmation form: Seimei.

---

After the MOI, Hanyu didn't plan any other trips for himself. Instead, he decided to return to Sendai with his mother to spend Christmas and New Year's. He needed to get back to his roots and stabilize his form.

When Hanyu Saaya picked up Yuzuru and his mother in the car, she noticed that her brother didn't look well. He kept gazing out the window at the Christmas decorations, seemingly lost in thought. Could his two disappointing matches have something to do with Christmas? Sensing something was amiss, Saaya knocked on her brother's door after dinner.

"Yuzuru, you look a little uneasy. Are you under a lot of pressure from the competition?" Saaya walked into the room, sat cross-legged on her brother's bed, and picked up Pusang and held him in her arms.

"The competitions have not been going well recently. I'm still trying to figure out how to improve my scores. I thought that if I had a lot of jumps, a good basic score would be a way to break through the score, but if my GOE can't be improved, it won't work. So I have to think of a way." When it comes to competitions, Yuzuru Hanyu can always answer three questions.

Sha Ling listened and nodded, "It seems you have an idea too."

"Well, I think I have a rough idea. I think we shouldn't use the current repertoire for the Four Continents Competition for the time being. Let's switch back to Xuyi and Seimei. I want to give it another try." Use the repertoire you are most confident in and try to get the highest score possible in terms of completion.

"That's up to you. Now that you have an idea, it seems that you've been in a daze today, it's probably not because of the competition." Seeing that Yuzuru kept silent and didn't intend to say anything, Sa Ling decided to take it slowly. "Let me talk about my business first. I'm getting married."

"Eh? When did it happen?"

"My mother is back this time, so we will arrange for the two sets of parents to meet."

"What kind of person is he?"

"Emmm... He's a very good person~" Saaya and Yuzuru have similar eyebrows and eyes, and when they smile with narrowed eyes, they look like cunning foxes. "What about you, do you have someone you like? You are 25 years old now. I remember you said before that you wanted to get married at 25-26? The flag is down~"

So you're waiting here! Yuzuru Hanyu narrowed his eyes and looked at his gossiping sister, while Saaya had an innocent look on her face, as if she wasn't gossiping at all, but just caring about her brother.

Maybe my sister could give me some advice? Thinking of this, Yuzuru Hanyu sighed, "I have someone I like, but she's ignoring me now."

Saya took her time to respond, putting on an expression that said, "Go ahead, I'm listening," silently encouraging her brother to open up to her. After hearing how he'd planned to confess but messed up, and how he'd even been waiting for someone to contact him first, she threw the Poosang in her hand at her brother, who was sitting at the desk.

"Hanyu Yuzuru, you're amazing! Do you really like me?"

Hanyu, a highly athletic athlete, quickly caught the giant hidden weapon thrown by his sister, looking bewildered. "I like it, what's wrong?"

Who's going to enlighten this silly little brother whose mind is only occupied with figure skating and video games? Anyway, after hearing what happened, Hanyu Saaya, who's already feeling extremely involved and angry, really wants to punch a hole in his head.

"You said you wanted to tell her that you weren't angry and that you had the ability to persevere in the current competition environment. Did you tell her?"

"Didn't I say in the interview that I won't retire, I'll keep going, I'll find ways to improve my points, and I've also had some good breakthroughs. Aren't these all..."

"After you said such outrageous things, who would still watch your interviews and competitions? You're not a masochist, but I guess they don't even want to see your face." Sha Ling rolled her eyes. "I know what you're thinking. You think you just made a few sarcastic remarks and it's normal to be harsh when you're arguing. But my dear brother, there are limits to being harsh! Regardless of whether what you said is true or not, you're really good at picking on people's sore spots, okay?"

Sa Aya scolded her brother, and before Hanyu Yuzuru could react to his sister's continuous attacks, Sa Aya had already left his room, leaving him alone in the room to reflect.