However, when she tentatively mentioned it to her three sons, the eldest son, Zhong Chengfa, was the first to object, the second son, Zhong Chengren, even said some unpleasant words, and even the third son, Zhong Chengyi, looked reluctant.
The children are grown up and have their own ideas. What can she do?
In the end, she could only suppress the inappropriate thoughts deep in her heart.
What about this life?
God let her live again, could it be...
However, when she thought of Song Xingzhi's eyes filled with disappointment and loneliness when he came to see her for the last time in her previous life, the faint flame that had just risen in Zhang Chunxue's heart was extinguished by herself with a "puff".
She smiled bitterly. In this life, she only wanted to protect Zhong Xiaoxiao and Zhou Mingli, mother and daughter, and this family. She didn't dare to ask for anything else.
When the rice soup cooled down, Zhang Chunxue carefully fed it to Zhong Yuanyuan.
After drinking a bowl of rice soup, the little guy smacked his lips, still feeling unsatisfied.
Zhang Chunxue held the child in her arms and patted her back gently, but her ears were perked up, paying attention to the movements in the main hall.
She didn't know how long she waited, so long that the little granddaughter in her arms was almost asleep. Finally, a slight "creaking" sound came from the gate outside, followed by the sound of footsteps gradually fading away.
Left.
Zhang Chunxue let out an almost inaudible sigh of relief.
She then walked to the kitchen door, stuck her head out, and shouted towards the main room: "Xiaoxiao, the porridge is getting cold. Go give your sister-in-law a bowl to feed her."
As soon as he finished speaking, without waiting for Zhong Xiaoxiao's response, he saw a figure walking out of the room of the second brother Zhong Chengren.
It’s Song Xingzhi!
Zhang Chunxue's pupils suddenly shrank and his whole body froze.
He...why hasn't he left yet?
Song Xingzhi walked straight up to her, looked at her calmly, and said, "Chunxue...Sister-in-law, I want to talk to you about something."
Zhang Chunxue's heart skipped a beat and instantly rose to her throat.
She subconsciously hugged the child in her arms tightly, her voice a little dry: "Talk... what to talk about?"
Song Xingzhi's gaze lingered briefly on the child in her arms, then returned to her face. "I just had a few words with Zhong Chengren. But there are some things I feel I should discuss with you, the head of the family... Mainly because of your family's current situation."
Judging from his tone, he wants to talk about serious matters.
Zhang Chunxue calmed down. Although her heart was in turmoil, she nodded and said, "Okay, then... let's go to the gate and talk."
She held the child and walked out first.
Song Xingzhi followed her silently.
The yard was quiet. Doctor Li and Zhou Mingli had probably gone back to their rooms.
The door of the main room was also closed, leaving only a dim light coming from the kitchen.
The two walked to the gate of the courtyard, one in front and the other behind. The night wind blew, bringing a hint of coolness.
Song Xingzhi stopped, and Zhang Chunxue also stopped and turned to face him.
Just when Zhang Chunxue thought he was about to get down to business, Song Xingzhi suddenly asked, "Are you avoiding me?"
Zhang Chunxue's face turned pale in an instant, as if his secrets had been exposed on the spot. He was so panicked that he didn't know what to do.
"No...no!" She almost blurted out, her voice a little distorted, "Why would I...why would I hide from you?"
But her wandering eyes had already betrayed her inner panic.
Song Xingzhi looked at her deeply, his eyes were complicated and difficult to read, seemed to contain a bit of self-mockery, and seemed to contain something else.
He sighed softly, his tone calm but with a hint of imperceptible alienation: "You don't have to hide from me, and I won't pester you. I know you don't like me."
These words were like a small hammer, knocking gently on Zhang Chunxue's heart. It didn't hurt, but it made her feel depressed.
"So, you can just treat me as an ordinary brigade clerk, or... just treat me as Xiaoxiao's teacher." Song Xingzhi's voice was very soft, as if he was afraid of disturbing the night.
Zhang Chunxue felt even more upset after hearing his words, and for a moment she didn't know how to respond.
She only felt her cheeks getting hot, and even her ears were burning.
She bit her lower lip, forced herself to calm down, and changed the subject: "Song... Secretary Song, didn't you say... you wanted to talk to me about serious matters?"
A hint of hurt flashed across Song Xingzhi's eyes, but he quickly concealed it.
He gathered himself and his voice returned to its previous deep tone: "Well, it's mainly about your family matters."
"Your second son, Zhong Chengren, is truly irresponsible," Song Xingzhi said with a barely perceptible harshness in his tone. "His wife had a high fever, and as a husband, he actually didn't even notice?"
Zhang Chunxue felt a little embarrassed when he heard this, after all, he was his son.
She sighed, "I'm also responsible for this. I didn't discipline him well, and I didn't notice Mingli was sick... When Mingli gets better, I'll definitely teach Chengren a lesson and make him remember this!"
After that, an awkward silence fell between the two of them.
Only the night wind blew the leaves of the old locust tree in the yard, making a rustling sound.
Zhang Chunxue held the child in her arms, head lowered, her fingers unconsciously stroking the child's soft swaddling clothes, but her heart felt like a mixture of all kinds of emotions, sour, bitter, and a little inexplicably uneasy.
In fact, whether in her previous life or this life, her contact with Song Xingzhi was not that much.
She always felt that the reason why Song Xingzhi looked at her differently was probably because of the vague affection he had for her when they first met, and later... the favor she had shown him when she accidentally saved him.
What he saw was perhaps just the image of a strong and independent widow, a kind savior.
But if he knew about the calculations, weaknesses, and little thoughts in my heart that I couldn't show on the surface...
Zhang Chunxue curled the corners of his mouth in self-mockery.
He was sure that he would no longer like her.
Zhang Chunxue took a deep breath, raised her head, and met Song Xingzhi's penetrating gaze. "Secretary Song, actually...actually, I'm not what you think I am. I'm just...a very selfish, ordinary woman."
After saying this, she actually felt relieved, as if a heavy burden had been lifted from her heart.
"I'm petty, calculating, and sometimes cowardly. I'm not as strong as you seem."
"When I do a lot of things, I always think about myself first, my children, and my family."
"I even... I even thought that if I could find someone to rely on, I wouldn't have to work so hard."
She lowered her eyes, not daring to look into Song Xingzhi's eyes again, and her voice became lower.
"I don't deserve you to be so nice to me, and I don't deserve you...you to think about me."
(End of this chapter)
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