Chapter 78 P - Solving
Li Shuying went to Manhattan to deal with her aunt's husband.
Chu Beiling, who originally intended to have a good talk with Xing Yu, immediately withdrew her foot, which she had just extended to probe, because of Li Shuying's intense reaction.
what to do……
Chu Beiling was completely unaware that everyone and everything around him had set a very bad example for him, and he hadn't figured out how to handle the situation better before he did.
How could he possibly dare to have a proper talk with Xing Yu?
Chu Beiling knew very well that once Li Shuying found out, given her personality, she would not only punish him and make him realize his own shortcomings, but would also implicate Xing Yu.
Both he and Xing Yu will bear serious consequences.
He can't even handle something as simple as liking someone.
How could Chu Beiling dare to say that she liked Xing Yu, and how could she protect him from harm?
Faced with this situation where there was no immediate solution but he knew the answer was terrible, he could only temporarily shut himself off and retreat to a position further away from the water.
They were trying to gain so-called security in exchange for it.
After being cooped up at home for two days, Chu Beiling still had no inspiration to create a piece for the Picasso competition.
Staring at the blank canvas, unable to come up with anything or even start painting, he grew increasingly frustrated. Unable to sit still in his frustration, and ignoring the drizzling rain that had been falling all day, he bent down, packed up his sketching tools, and went out the door.
Aside from painting and studying, Chu Beiling always did whatever was convenient for him and was quite casual about everything else. Since his relationship with Xing Yu improved, he has been even lazier whenever he could.
Anyway, with Xing Yu by my side, there's nothing to be afraid of, and I definitely won't waste any extra brain cells.
Chu Beiling had planned to take a walk near West Lake to find inspiration and do some sketching, but he was distracted and Xing Yu was always keeping an eye on him. It wasn't until everyone got off the bus that Chu Beiling realized he had taken the last stop.
Too lazy to turn back, he simply left the station and headed towards Xianghu Lake.
Compared to the bustling West Lake, Xiang Lake seemed much more desolate. It was drizzling, and the surroundings were shrouded in mist, making visibility very low and blurry. It felt like being trapped in the drizzle and never being able to get out.
Chu Beiling walked along the bluestone path into the depths of the garden and found a pavilion in the Lotus Villa to begin sketching.
He painted from the afternoon until dusk, when the sky gradually darkened, before packing up and leaving.
Since he was home alone, Chu Beiling didn't want to go home so early. He wandered around the nearby shopping district and randomly found a small restaurant to have dinner.
When I came out, the rain had just stopped. The colorful neon signs of the surrounding shops and the wet ground formed a line. In the dazzling and mesmerizing night, the bright red LED light of the [Good Confidence] Psychological Counseling Center across the street stood out conspicuously among the many billboards.
Chu Beiling's gaze lingered on the area below the psychological counseling center:
The small print on the screen offers consultations on issues such as internet addiction, homosexuality, school phobia, early romantic relationships, and gender identity disorders among teenagers.
—He didn't know what to do, but a professional psychologist should be able to tell him what to do, Chu Beiling thought.
Without hesitation, he walked across the street.
Upon entering, the receptionist warmly greeted us, smiling and politely asking, "Are you here alone?"
Chu Beiling nodded.
The medical guide then asked, "What kind of consultation or treatment do you need?"
Chu Beiling: "There are some things I'm not sure about. Can I ask you anything here?"
The medical guide said, "Don't worry about that, we are all qualified." Then he took out a bunch of psychology certificates: "Look, these are all professionally certified and authoritative certificates, they won't lie to you."
Chu Beiling hesitated for a moment before asking the question that had been troubling her for some time: "I've fallen for a boy, I really, really like him, and he... probably likes me a little too."
He paused for a moment, then continued, "But I don't know whether I should confess to him. I'm afraid that if I'm with him, he will be controversial and hurt. So I've been deliberately keeping my distance from him, trying to see if we can go back to the way things were. But every time I see him looking sad and lonely, I can't help but feel like I've hurt him. Doctor, I don't know what to do."
"It can be resolved." The medical guide then began to introduce the treatment methods of their psychological counseling center and a bunch of psychological rhetoric.
After she finished speaking, she asked, "Psychological counseling and treatment costs five thousand yuan per session. You can see the treatment effect before deciding whether to choose follow-up counseling and treatment. Should I arrange a doctor for you?"
Chu Beiling felt something was wrong, but couldn't quite figure out what it was.
He said, "May I take a look first?"
The medical guide smiled and said, "That's fine."
Chu Beiling moved to the waiting area in front of the clinic.
On the wall directly in front of the rest area hang various photos of doctors, with their respective areas of expertise listed below, and in the center is a prominent license from a well-known public hospital.
There were still quite a few people waiting on the sofa to be called to enter the treatment room.
Unlike his peers who were reluctantly sitting in their seats, most of them had been brought by their parents, but he was alone.
It seemed their number had been called. A father next to me picked up the boy who was slumped on the sofa and dragged and kicked him toward the treatment room, cursing and swearing that he would make him get rid of his homosexuality, etc., making a racket that made my scalp tingle.
No matter how much the father cursed, the boy always wore a gloomy and world-weary expression.
As he passed by, the boy glanced at him, his sinister gaze filled with confusion and doubt, as if he didn't understand why he had come over on his own.
Chu Beiling met his gaze and was about to ask a question.
The next second, the boy was kicked into the treatment room by his father.
The door slammed shut, locking the boy in the dark room, and the father finally showed a hint of relief.
Seeing that Chu Beiling was staring at the room door, he looked over and asked, "What was that look you were giving each other just now? Did you hit it off?"
"..." Chu Beiling: "You may have misunderstood."
“It’s not the best. Homosexuality is a disease, a nasty and inhumane habit. It should be treated.” The man said, “You’re the same. You need to get proper treatment. Only when you’re cured can your parents be at ease.”
Chu Beiling: "I'm not sick. Liking someone isn't a disease."
The man sneered, "What are you doing here if you're not sick? You're not sick? I think you're seriously ill, even more so than my son."
Chu Beiling pursed his lips, wanting to say that it wasn't like that; he came to know how to do it and to ask if there was a better solution.
But he couldn't find any words to refute it, like being trapped in a dark maze, unable to find a way out, and instead, his blindness led him into a deeper confusion and bewilderment.
The medical guide stepped forward and asked, "Have you thought it through, student?"
Chu Beiling's gaze shifted to the tightly closed treatment room door: "Homosexuality correction?!"
Medical guide: "You yourself have doubts about this, right? We are just providing guidance to help you understand how to do it better."
Chu Beiling frowned slightly. He truly didn't understand why everyone thought that way. Was it because all his confusion and bewilderment over the past few years meant that nothing he did was right? Was he really wrong? Should he not have liked Xing Yu?
Perhaps sensing his doubts, the medical guide began to explain in detail the effects of their treatments, mentioning things like electroconvulsive therapy, aversion therapy, and corrective therapy, saying that he would get better afterward.
Chu Beiling realized that this was very likely an irregular organization.
Just as I was about to run, I was blocked by the medical guide and two people in white coats who surrounded me.
The math winter camp is much more relaxed than the intensive training camp. As long as you report your arrival and return on time, you can go out during your free time. There are no particularly big restrictions.
Most of the students participating in the winter camp chose to go out for dinner and also stroll around the nearby shopping street.
After having dinner at the mall, Sheng Xia and Xing Yu were planning to go back to solve the problems their teacher had left for them after class that day.
In the height of summer, she glanced sideways and saw Chu Beiling surrounded by three people in white coats inside the glass door across the corridor.
She pointed to the treatment room across the street: "Xing Yu, is that Fanfan inside?" Sheng Xia wasn't sure.
Xing Yu looked in the direction she pointed and immediately spotted Chu Beiling in the crowd. Then he saw advertisements on the transparent glass of the treatment center for treating internet addiction, homosexuality, school phobia, early romance, gender identity disorders, and so on.
Summer: "Is this treatment center a scam?"
Xing Yu frowned slightly, took three steps at a time and ran to the treatment center across the street. He pushed through the crowd and reached out to pull Chu Beiling, who had been tricked into becoming lame and was about to pay, out of the crowd.
The medical guide came forward to pull him away, but Xing Yu pushed him aside and quickly pulled Chu Beiling out of the treatment room.
Finally freed from inside, Chu Beiling breathed a sigh of relief.
Just as she was about to thank Xing Yu, she felt flustered and at a loss when she met his gloomy, awkward, and dejected face.
He stammered, "Xing, Xing Yu...you, what are you doing here?"
Xing Yu pressed his tongue against the roof of his mouth forcefully: "How did I end up here? I'd like to ask you why you're here."
"I..." Chu Beiling didn't know how to explain for a moment. When he saw Sheng Xia across from him, it was as if he had seen a savior. He immediately changed the subject: "Xing Yu, don't keep Xia Xia waiting too long."
Xing Yu: "Don't drag other people into this."
At that moment, Shengxia waved to them, indicating that she was leaving first.
"..." Chu Beiling became increasingly flustered: "Xing Yu, I, you're angry!" He pouted and said dejectedly, "I didn't know either. Is this how this organization is? If I had known, I wouldn't have come."
Xing Yu didn't say anything, but looked him up and down.
Chu Beiling felt increasingly guilty and flustered under Xing Yu's gaze. Just as she was trying to explain herself, Xing Yu pulled her outside.
Xing Yu gripped her wrist tightly, making it impossible for her to move. It was as if he was afraid that she would disappear in the next second. Xing Yu used all his strength, and her wrist was squeezed painfully. Chu Beiling tried to break free.
He increased his strength even further.
Under the streetlights, Xing Yu's profile was taut, his jaw muscles twitching slightly from clenching his teeth—a sign of anger that he was trying to suppress.
Chu Beiling tried to distract Xing Yu, softening her tone considerably: "Xing Yu, you're hurting me."
Xing Yu paused slightly, glanced back at him, reached out and took the painting tube from him, carrying it on his back. Before Chu Beiling could react, he tightened his grip on Chu Beiling's wrist again, holding it firmly, even tighter than before.
Ever since he sent Chu Beiling the message that day, Xing Yu had been waiting for his response.
Xing Yu had considered asking a few more questions, partly because he was afraid his actions would burden Chu Beiling, and partly because he didn't want to drag Chu Beiling into this mess.
Not to mention the extreme pain and distress he experienced because of this.
So even though he longed for it, he restrained himself and didn't ask any more questions, leaving the choice to Chu Beiling and letting him decide.
Chu Beiling did not respond, realizing that her and Sheng Xia's guesses were wrong, despite her disappointment and sadness—
Xing Yu could understand Chu Beiling's choice. Just like how he was destined to be abandoned because he wasn't his parents' first choice from childhood, no one was supposed to put him first, and he couldn't force anyone to do so.
Chu Beiling isn't gay and doesn't want to respond to him; she just wants to escape. It's okay; they'll still be friends. Chu Beiling also has a bit of a crush on him and will always pay attention to his feelings.
This is already good enough; he cannot be greedy and ask for more.
But Xing Yu never expected that instead of receiving a response, he would see Chu Beiling travel all the way to an unknown psychological clinic.
With all that electroshock aversion therapy and a bunch of psychological jargon, all they want is money. It's obvious this is an abnormal institution.
The other people there had no choice but to passively accept it, even if they didn't want to. But he went ahead and eagerly offered himself up for this so-called 'corrective treatment'.
For a brief moment, Xing Yu really wanted to be ruthless and expose their current situation completely.
Since they can't go back anyway, they might as well give up and do nothing.
But he held back in the end. He only asked, "Let's talk," and Chu Beiling realized that he wanted to take things further and was so afraid and worried that he had come to this damn psychological clinic.
Going further, completely exposing his thoughts, Xing Yu couldn't imagine what else he might do.
Chu Beiling was tormented by his feelings for himself, so much so that he desperately sought treatment for so-called 'homosexuality' and was almost scammed—
This intense sense of despair and helplessness, mingled with hope, felt like an invisible hand gripping his throat and tightening its grip.
Xing Yu had nowhere to vent his frustrations.
Well, it's his choice to leave Chu Beiling; he should accept all the consequences and pain.
As long as he goes back to being the same Chu Beiling who loved to talk and laugh, was sunny and mischievous, and would get so angry that he almost exploded on the spot because he almost missed getting the big chicken leg at the second canteen, without any burdens.
His feelings don't matter, Xing Yu thought, feeling utterly exhausted.
The night was hazy, and the dim streetlights shone on the damp ground, turning it into shimmering puddles of gold. As people walked over it, the light dispersed and became even more fragmented.
Chu Beiling called out to Xing Yu the whole way and struggled the whole way, but Xing Yu never responded. He just dragged him along the streets at night.
Struggling and calling out had no effect whatsoever. At this moment, a strange tranquility arose in Chu Beiling's heart.
He really enjoys this feeling of complete focus, without having to spare extra energy to think about random things or consider right and wrong.
And so, the whole world was left with only him and Xing Yu, and nothing could be better.
Chu Beiling even hoped it would stay this way until the end of the world.
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