Chapter 17: The Double Black
Dazai Osamu was unable to control his own body. And after becoming a mirror image, his life suddenly became much less interesting.
He spends most of his time watching the other Dazai and Nakahara Chuuya interact, watching them bicker and argue, and then reminiscing about the Nakahara Chuuya in his dreams that belonged only to him.
Since his transmigration, he hadn't had any precognitive dreams—of course, ghosts shouldn't dream. He wasn't sure if he was a ghost, but he currently had no physiological needs and didn't need sleep.
If that dream was actually a projection of another parallel world, he wondered if, during the time he was absent, another [Dazai Osamu] would take his place and engage in a series of interactions with the Nakahara Chuuya he knew, interactions that were originally only his.
Just thinking about it makes my heart feel like it's been thrown into a vat of sewage bubbling with black bubbles, being boiled and gurgling.
Dazai didn't know if there were other people in the world who had the same situation as him, and sometimes he wondered why he was the one who had to suffer these things.
He once suddenly fell into a deep sleep, and a weariness that spread from the depths of his soul pulled his consciousness into an abyss. When he awoke again, he found himself in a dark space with [Dazai Osamu].
Although the space was dark, it surprisingly didn't obstruct one's vision. With the help of light filtering in from somewhere, he could see his surroundings clearly. It was furnished like a small study, with bookshelves on three walls crammed with books and all sorts of things. Dazai Osamu was sitting in a rocking chair in the corner, head down, seemingly reading something.
When Dazai first came here, although he didn't show it on his face, he was actually quite wary. Dazai Osamu, however, understood his concerns at a glance, and casually explained, "This seems to be a space outside the world. Although the bookshelves are full, most of the things are just decorations and cannot be touched. However, you can freely browse the books; perhaps they contain the answers and solutions to our situation." He then gave Dazai a meaningful look.
After Dazai began to peruse the books, he finally understood the meaning behind Dazai Osamu's meaningful gaze earlier.
He glanced through the books and found that he couldn't understand a single character. The language used to record the characters was a system that had never existed in his world. Its shape and grammar made him feel as if he had stumbled into some mysterious world that he couldn't see or understand.
However, this was only the feeling he had during his first reading. After he instinctively slammed the heavy book shut and reopened it, the eerie feeling completely vanished. The book in his hands now was simply a book that was impossible to understand.
Standing to the side, Dazai Osamu looked at the guy in front of him who looked exactly like him, and saw the intense reaction and uncontrollable distorted expression that Dazai had experienced at the beginning. He felt very comfortable and couldn't help but laugh a few times. The laughter was amplified a thousand times in the room where only the two of them were, making the low pressure around Dazai even stronger.
But Dazai didn't say anything; he simply silently flipped through books and searched for information. Through his tireless efforts, he finally found a dictionary about the language of another world.
The dictionary was marked in Japanese, so he could read it. He was currently teaching himself a language from another world.
Meanwhile, Dazai Osamu was fiddling with something on the side, remaining silent. The two of them continued with their own things in this peaceful manner.
Dazai didn't know how he left this strange space. It seemed that in the blink of an eye and with a yawn, he returned to his body and regained control of it.
When he opened his eyes, all he saw was darkness. He reached out and felt around for the thing beneath him; it seemed to be a pile of soft fabric, or perhaps a mattress, which gave him some idea of what it was.
When he smelled the damp, salty sea breeze, he stood up and walked towards the exit based on his vague memory. He bumped into something along the way, and the pain came from that spot on his skin. He was probably bruised, but he didn't care. He continued walking until his fingers touched the lock and pulled it open.
The rattling of the sheet metal was particularly clear in the quiet night. He finally emerged from the cramped space, and looking up, he could see the oppressive darkness of the sea and the star-studded night sky.
Dazai sometimes wondered if his inability to enter the cycle of reincarnation was the retribution he suffered after his death because he had too much blood on his hands in his previous life.
To be honest, it's not pleasant to not feel your body.
He felt as if he hadn't walked on his own for a very, very long time. When he tried to take a step, his limbs were still a little clumsy.
Moreover, there were no lights inside the container, so he stumbled out of it.
He still remembered the feeling when he became a mirror image, as if he were forcibly imprisoned by something, an unknown force suppressing him and making the part of his body below his head unable to move.
He didn't move like a real shadow following Dazai Osamu's actions. Instead, he stayed in a corner where he was hard to find, maintaining the same posture and silently observing the others.
He was caught off guard when he returned to his body. At first, he was a little unaccustomed to it, but he quickly composed himself and rapidly observed his surroundings to analyze the current situation.
Later, he found something written to him by Osamu Dazai in the corner of the container. Ignoring the long passage of embellishments, he quickly extracted the important information and learned about the upcoming task.
Looking at the text above, which seemed to have foreseen the current situation, Dazai felt that his parallel world self knew more than he did. This wasn't a good thing for him; he disliked this feeling of being out of control. Therefore, he needed to quickly find a way to narrow the information gap between himself and the other party, so as to bring the situation under control.
When Dazai saw Chuuya Nakahara in this world again, he saw the other man leaning against his motorcycle, hands in his pockets, staring into the distance, seemingly lost in thought.
...It was a rare sight, one that Dazai had never seen before, though this Chuuya was not his own.
He smiled and walked over to greet Chuuya. Chuuya looked at him strangely at his unusual behavior and asked, "What's wrong with you? You seem a bit odd today."
Dazai's smile froze for a moment. He didn't really know how to interact with Chuuya. He had no memories of him and could only act on instinct. In the end, he was still defeated by Chuuya's intuition...
Regardless, keeping quiet is never a bad thing, right? So he replied, "It's your imagination," and got into the car parked nearby, where his subordinates drove him to the mission location.
Meanwhile, Chuuya Nakahara rode alongside on his motorcycle, his speed not slowing down but rather seeming to pick up. This allowed him to quickly overtake Dazai's car, and Dazai seemed to hear the other's laughter as he rolled down his window, the sound carried to his ear by the wind.
"Are these derivatives outside of my dreams?" he wondered. In the times he didn't dream, perhaps his partner was doing the same thing, riding his motorcycle and laughing freely.
During the mission, when Chuuya Nakahara followed Dazai's instructions, he did not make any mistakes and completed the mission perfectly, just as Dazai Osamu had imagined. Dazai couldn't help but sigh, marveling at how addictive the wonderful tacit understanding was, especially when compared to his experience of fighting alone in the past few years.
So this is what it feels like to project a dream into reality, even though the person is slightly out of place.
Dazai Osamu was lost in thought for a moment, but when Nakahara Chuuya returned with the spoils of war, he quickly came back to his senses and a joyful smile appeared on his face, an outward expression of a part of his inner emotions at that moment.
It was rare for him to lose control like this, and Nakahara Chuuya felt a chill run down his spine. He'd probably never seen the guy like this before, especially with such an expression on his face while he was in front of him. It gave him a strange feeling, and he subconsciously said:
"Ah, why are you laughing so strangely..."
Dazai Osamu was taken aback for a moment, then quickly concealed the smile on his lips, blinked, and returned to his original faint expression.
Chuuya Nakahara thought the other person would talk back to him as usual, but after returning to the Port Mafia, the two never exchanged another word.
Dazai Osamu was worried that his unintentional words and actions might expose his problems, and since he didn't have the memories of this Dazai, he naturally couldn't accurately grasp the balance in his interactions with others. This was especially true in front of Nakahara Chuuya, where he needed to be even more careful.
He doesn't want to reveal his identity as someone from another world for the time being, as that could lead to a lot of trouble, such as unnecessary surveillance or even being studied, which is not something he wants to encounter.
Therefore, adhering to the principle of saying less and making fewer mistakes, Dazai decided that it would be best to reduce his communication with others until someone else took over this identity.
However, in Chuuya's eyes, unaware of all this, he only thought his partner was angry because of what he said. He couldn't find any opportunity to explain or start a conversation, and it seemed like his partner was intentionally avoiding him. Besides, that look really strange! It was as if he had done something to make people happy. If it were anyone else, it would be fine, but when the object became Dazai Osamu, it seemed particularly bizarre.
He suspected the other person had done something wrong and succeeded, but time told him nothing had happened, and the other person was still avoiding him. This made him unusually start to reflect on his words. Had he really gone too far before?
But Dazai Osamu wouldn't give him any opportunity to communicate and resolve his doubts.
A note from the author:
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