Chapter 18: The Double Black
Dazai Osamu and the Dazai Osamu of this world are essentially the same person, so many of their things overlap.
He obtained the information he wanted through special channels and learned about the relationship between Dazai Osamu and Nakahara Chuuya in this world, much of which he had never experienced. However, he might have dreamed of similar things before, but he had simply forgotten.
After doing all that, he still had a few things to accomplish that only this world could do.
At this moment, Osamu Dazai was standing at the entrance of Lupin Bar, his fingers on the doorknob, but he hesitated to push it open.
He had wanted to see his friends in this world who were still together, but a sudden surge of fear had kept him from taking the step. But today, he couldn't resist coming here anyway.
In his past life, he had investigated Sakaguchi Ango's background, and as expected, he couldn't find anything wrong on the surface. However, he eventually managed to uncover some clues through his connections. Piecing together the scattered clues, he was able to reconstruct the truth of the matter.
...but he declined to comment.
In the end, Dazai Osamu didn't go in, even though he knew that seeing his friends depended on a certain probability and luck. After all, their schedules and tasks were different. He felt that it was best to leave it at that; there was no need to let something that had already come to a halt continue, because the possibility of recovery was already zero.
Just as Dazai Osamu was about to turn and leave, he was suddenly tapped twice on the shoulder, and a familiar voice sounded behind him: "Dazai? Why are you stopped here? Aren't you going in?"
Dazai suddenly heard a familiar voice, which gradually overlapped with the one in his memory. He subconsciously widened his eyes slightly, but he didn't have the courage to turn around and face the friend who only existed in his memory.
...But he turned away in the end.
"Ah... it's Oda Sakunosuke! What a coincidence to meet you here!"
Dazai felt like he was seeing circles in his eyes, like Russian nesting dolls, and his mind was not very clear. He was talking to people unconsciously.
But when his gaze fell on Oda Sakunosuke's face, he clearly realized that everything he had said was just his imagination. He was now more clear-headed than anyone else, knowing perfectly well that the still somewhat immature-looking person in front of him was not the person he knew, and that this was not his place in the world.
His time had long since ended in the depths of the ocean.
Thinking about these things, the bubbles of joy that quietly rose in my heart burst one by one as if pierced by a needle, leaving only a calm, stagnant pool, as always.
Dazai Osamu subconsciously put on a smile, his inorganic eyes gleaming slightly from the dim yellow light of the wall lamp.
He casually came up with an excuse in his mind, said goodbye to Oda Sakunosuke, and hurriedly left.
Yokohama's streets are bustling at night, with neon lights illuminating every corner and crowds rushing about. Dazai Osamu blends in seamlessly among them.
He walked with his hands in his pockets and a listless expression, occasionally glancing at the shops around him, but quickly looking away because he found it boring.
While passing by a supermarket, he suddenly felt a sharp pain in his stomach. He then remembered the delicious taste of canned crab meat, so he naturally went in and picked out some items. After politely declining several women's invitations to chat while paying, he found a small park, sat on a swing, and used a small spoon given to him by the store to savor the delicious taste of canned crab meat.
A place to stay at night is not fixed but has a certain level of security.
When Dazai finally drifted off to sleep, he found himself back in that mysterious space.
He saw Osamu Dazai still sitting in that rocking chair, flipping through a book.
He continued doing what he hadn't finished last time.
He was still unsure about the flow rate between this place and the outside world, and the methods of entering and exiting did not seem to be fixed.
This time, he had a long talk with Osamu Dazai after a long time. Even though they didn't quite like each other, they still exchanged the information they had.
[Dazai Osamu] understood the potentially terrible future, and Dazai learned more about things he didn't know before.
[Dazai Osamu] didn’t actually know that Dazai was different from him. Although he could sense that Dazai must have encountered some trouble, and that the unexpected things he was experiencing might also be because of Dazai, he only thought that the two of them were themselves on different timelines and did not expect that Dazai was a person on another timeline.
Dazai didn't explain this to him. When he subtly steered the conversation towards the matter of Dazai Osamu and Nakahara Chuuya, he learned many things that were different from what happened in his previous life, such as the survival status of Ado and the others.
Even though he didn't have much contact with this group while he was alive, he could occasionally learn about them from others, which did not include news of their deaths.
In other words, those people are probably still alive in his original world, but he doesn't know the specifics.
Moreover, the so-called "Double Black" title never existed because of the disappearance of one of them. When he first heard the term, he felt a strange sense of familiarity, probably from a dream, but he couldn't remember it.
Although his emotions were stirred by Dazai Osamu's words, he managed his expression well, preventing Dazai from noticing anything amiss. Relying on his previous dream experiences, he also kept the other man from discovering that he didn't actually have a partner.
When Dazai Osamu left this space again, he did not regain control of the body, but continued to be a mirror image of [Dazai Osamu].
Compared to before, he can now move his body freely. He can become the person in the mirror when Dazai Osamu looks in it, making different movements as Dazai Osamu did before. He can also stay in indescribable places, quietly observing everything that happens around Dazai Osamu.
He watched as Dazai Osamu and Nakahara Chuuya worked together seamlessly, perfectly completing one dangerous mission after another; he watched Dazai Osamu chat with Sakaguchi Ango and Oda Sakunosuke at the Lupin bar about their recent lives, or something else, while noticing Ango's dark circles and undeniable fatigue; he watched Dazai Osamu go to Oda Sakunosuke's favorite curry shop and eat super spicy curry with him, and he himself recalled a taste that had long been buried in his memory.
He was like a spectator—or perhaps a passerby would be a more accurate description—watching someone with the same face as himself doing things similar to, yet different from, those in his memories. His hazy memories still told him that it seemed a long time had passed since he left that world.
*
[Osamu Dazai] chose to skip work during a certain mission to try water activities.
He squatted on the bank, his face reflected in the water; his features were the same, but his expression was different.
He knew that what was hidden on the surface of the water was half of himself, another "self".
Just thinking about it makes me smile.
He stretched his hand out towards the water, making an inviting gesture: "If we were to enter the water now, it would be as if we, trapped in the same body, were committing a double suicide!"
Dazai Osamu looked listless. Upon hearing this, he couldn't help but make a vomiting face and silently mouthed, "Have you become so lonely that you can only die with yourself? This is strangely sad."
[Dazai Osamu] did not reply to Dazai's words, but just curled his lips, stared at the water for a while, and suddenly sighed: "The thought that my shadow has consciousness and is another version of myself makes me feel nauseous and want to vomit."
As he fell into the water, the last syllable of his voice gradually faded into the air.
When Dazai Osamu was pulled ashore, he nimbly dodged a punch from Nakahara Chuuya, and as if knowing what he was about to say, he said, "I knew Chuuya could handle the cleanup perfectly well even alone~"
Chuuya Nakahara moved his lips angrily, but was speechless for a moment, and could only remain silent in the end.
Looking at him like this, [Dazai Osamu] suddenly widened his eyes, his voice still filled with excitement, and said, "There's a reason I went into the water this time!"
"Is this yet another reason like 'I really love this river'?"
"No, no, no, it's not because of that this time, but because—I discovered that my reflection on the water moves on its own!"
Chuuya Nakahara: ?
"Of course your shadow will move with your movements," Chuuya Nakahara said speechlessly.
"Of course it's not that simple. Chuuya's peanut-sized head alone certainly wouldn't be able to figure it out—!"
"Damn Dazai!!!"
Dodging Nakahara Chuuya's elbows and punches with agility, the two stood by the water again.
[Dazai Osamu] bent down, pointed to his reflection in the water, and said, "Look, his movements are different from mine... um..."
Chuuya Nakahara looked down curiously, following the direction Dazai Osamu was pointing. He saw that the reflection in the water was exactly the same as Dazai Osamu's movements, without the slightest difference.
Chuuya Nakahara: ...
"You bastard, are you kidding me?"
Chuuya Nakahara's forehead creased with a grid pattern as he tried to forget the man who, just minutes earlier, had chosen to believe Osamu Dazai out of curiosity.
He now thought their actions of peeking out to see the difference in Dazai's shadow were utterly stupid!
"Huh, that's strange. Is it because you look too scary, Chuuya, that your shadow stopped moving?"
Dazai stroked his chin with his fingers, as if deep in thought.
Finally, he clenched his right fist and tapped it against his left palm, looking as if he had figured it out: "I know, it's because you look too scary, Chuuya, that Mr. Shadow hid!"
"Are you a child? Who would believe something like that?!"
Chuuya Nakahara simply thought this was Dazai's new prank.
Dazai Osamu feigned grievance: "He rarely tells the truth, and this mere Chuuya doesn't believe him! That's outrageous!"
A note from the author:
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