mutual
Su usually doesn't come to this apartment in the city center, and An Chi rarely comes either. Now that he has his own apartment, and with Aunt Hong always staying there, An Chi always feels uncomfortable.
He just had something to do today.
When he entered the room, Aunt Hong was still there. She came out to greet him: "Young Master, you're back."
It's hard to change the way he's addressed as Aunt Hong, even though An Chi has reminded him many times. He's no longer the young master of the Su family.
He watched as Aunt Hong brought him slippers. He wanted to stop her, telling her he didn't need to take care of him like this, and helped her up. "You don't need to do this, Aunt Hong. Why aren't you home yet?"
"I cleaned the whole house thoroughly today, thinking that it would be spotless whenever you came back. And here you are, just as I finished."
The slippers were still placed in front of him. An Chi thought for a moment, then put on the slippers. "That's perfect. Let's chat, shall we, Aunt Hong?"
Aunt Hong rubbed her hands together shyly, wrinkles appearing at the corners of her eyes: "Okay."
An Chi poured a glass of water, and Aunt Hong immediately stepped forward, wanting to do these chores. An Chi blocked her with his body and placed the water he had just poured in front of her.
"Aunt Hong, I'm chatting with you, not asking you to do anything. You don't need to do this."
"That won't do. You're the young master, and I'm just an employee."
“But we’re off work now. You’re Aunt Hong, and I’m An Chi.” He deliberately used a way of speaking that Aunt Hong would accept, hoping to close the distance so that it would be easier to ask her questions.
Aunt Hong smiled, took the water glass, and said, "Alright, what would you like to talk about?"
"Bai Lutong, do you know him?" An Chi poured himself another glass of water.
Aunt Hong thought for a moment, "Is it that boyfriend Xiao Yao was dating? Oh, now I should say ex-boyfriend, right?"
"Yes, that's right."
"What's wrong with him? Did he upset Xiaoyao again?"
An Chi, keenly noticing the word "again," tapped the rim of the glass with his finger. The curtains, illuminated by the moonlight, swayed and fluttered in the dimly lit living room.
"Do Mr. Bai and Su Yao's relationship involve frequent arguments?"
"It wasn't easy." As if mentioning "Su Yao" made Aunt Hong's words flow endlessly. "This house, well, it was originally bought by Xiao Yao when she wanted to settle down, with that Mr. Bai. She asked me to come out of the old house because she saw that I had taken care of her since she was little. Oh right, that robot, it's called Xiao Bai. It was given to Xiao Yao by Bai Lutong. I used to say that Xiao Yao might need such advanced machines and not have an old person like me..."
An Chi couldn't hear anything more. He recalled the year Su wanted to adopt him. Aunt Hong and Xiao Bai were talking about how she didn't come here often, and he thought it was because of him that she disliked her. But it turned out to be because of Bai Lutong. He didn't know, and had no way of knowing, whether the "Xiao Bai" she often mentioned was a robot or Bai Lutong.
His fingertips gripped the cup, which slowly turned white. He began to feel unwell, accompanied by a burning sensation and a headache. He knew that his current state upon hearing that Su was going to be associated with someone else was completely wrong. But if only she hadn't pushed him away, he wouldn't be like this. Even if there was no response, even if it was just his one-sided effort, he would still be willing. But why could she accept everyone else, except him?
As Aunt Hong was talking, she noticed that An Chi was out of it. She called him twice to bring him back to his senses. He had a forced smile on his face. "So, after Su broke up with him, she didn't want to come here anymore?"
Holding onto a sliver of hope was his last chance; he would rather Su not come here because she disliked him than have her associated with Bai Lutong again.
"Sigh, Xiaoyao always likes to stay in that room when she's angry. It was the same when they broke up that day. Xiaoyao has never liked to cry, but she cried so hard that day. Later I heard that it was also their engagement day. How could that guy surnamed Bai be such a jerk? Xiaoyao is such a good person, how could he break up with her? Since then, Xiaoyao really doesn't like coming here anymore. But I heard that Xiaoyao has a new house, so I think that's good. She'll come here less often when she's sad..."
The room Aunt Hong was referring to was the same yellow room that stood out from the rest of the house. An Chi felt powerless upon hearing these words.
His anger vanished suddenly, but his exhaustion proved to be his fatal blow.
An Chi had always thought that as long as Su Yao continued to use him, she would eventually see his true feelings. But if it were him, why would he choose someone from a poor family, slightly less capable, who could also be used but was only good-looking and couldn't win against someone who had a good family background, strong abilities, and was also willing to be used?
Thinking about it, I realized that Su Yao had really "corrupted" me. Even in the face of death, he could still praise me and make a joke.
Suddenly realizing the profound influence, he began to imitate her jokes, constantly teasing her for amusement, just as she had done to Su Anchi when he first moved in.
When Aunt Hong noticed him daydreaming again, she was too embarrassed to remind him, wondering if she had said too much. "Young Master, I'd better go back now. I'll come again tomorrow."
“Okay.” An Chi saw Aunt Hong off a bit, and as she got on her electric scooter, he asked, “How about I give you a ride, Aunt Hong? It’s still a bit chilly tonight.”
"Oh, no need, no need, I'm used to it." Aunt Hong waved her hand and left.
An Chi looked at the many lights on in the building, including on one floor. Was Su Yao, in her twenties, also looking forward to waiting for Bai Lutong's arrival with the lights on?
He quickly dismissed his own idea, because Su Yao disliked being controlled the most, so he hadn't dared to show his most disgusting side yet, only wanting to possess her exclusively.
The phone rang, and he answered it as he entered the elevator: "Mom."
It is Anmu.
"I didn't take good care of you when you came back last time. Why don't you and Miss Su come over this weekend? Anlan and I will treat you to a meal together."
He initially wanted to refuse, but upon hearing "Su Yao," he agreed, thinking it was better to invite Su Yao himself than to do so: "I understand, I'll tell Su Yao."
"Why are you calling her Su Yao? You need to be respectful and call her Miss Su. She has helped our family so much. Don't you know how to be sensible?"
He didn't want to answer. This kind of thing had happened many times before. Even though An Chi repeatedly emphasized that their relationship with Su Yao was not that of master and servant and that there was no need to be so polite, which made Su Yao uncomfortable, An's mother never listened to him.
"Hey, Xiao Chi, how come you've grown up to be so immature?"
The phone was still ringing. He said, "I understand. I'll ask Miss Su if she's free."
"Okay, if they're not available, we can reschedule for another time."
He gave a deep "hmm" and listened to a lot of rambling nonsense, mostly about An Lan's further education. She wanted An Lan to study abroad as well, and wanted An Chi and Su Yao to mention it and ask Su Yao for help.
This matter had been brought up ever since Anlan entered high school, even though she could have gone to university in China.
An Chi didn't want to say more, only that An Lan's body couldn't withstand the strain.
But An's mother was unwilling, and repeatedly emphasized that she should tell Su first.
Once inside, he was so engrossed in making a phone call that he forgot to turn on the light. Only the light filtering through the sheer curtains illuminated his profile. He lay back on the sofa, his eyes filled with indifference. It seemed as if he was only responding verbally, but his heart remained completely unmoved.
After hanging up the phone, he realized that the living room lights were off. He wanted to get up and turn them on, but his mind was still preoccupied with An Lan and her mother.
On the day he returned to China, he originally planned to see Su Yao as soon as he got off the plane, but he was not sure what Su Yao's attitude was towards his long-term residence in Beicheng, so he went to see An's mother and An Lan first.
He knocked on the door and saw An Lan first; she opened the door for him.
When I entered, they were already eating.
Seeing An Chi return, his mother was somewhat surprised and told him to come in quickly.
There were four dishes on the table, all of which were An Lan's favorites. An Lan's mother smiled awkwardly and patted his shoulder: "Next time, next time you come back, Mom will make your favorite dishes. You didn't even tell me you were coming back."
"I've been thinking of you all."
Anlan took his hand and said, "Brother, is it really fun abroad?"
An Chi always reported good news and never bad news. Being introverted, he was not good at expressing what kind of life he had been living these past few years, and only said, "It's been great."
He wasn't stupid; he could see An Lan giving her mother a meaningful look, and instead, he brought it up himself, "You want to study abroad, don't you?"
"Yeah, bro, can I go? If Sister Su just says hello, can I go?"
Those eyes were bright and sparkling, just like the eyes of the man who had cried out to him day and night from his hospital bed a few years ago, "Brother, it hurts so much," yet they were also different.
“No, you should take the IELTS test first. You don’t need to trouble Su Yao.” Before he could finish speaking, his hand was tapped by chopsticks. His mother interrupted him, “You should call her Miss Su. Miss Su did everything for you to study abroad. You should be grateful.”
Looking at the red mark on his hand, he paused. It hadn't changed in the past few years. Even though An Lan was still calling him "Sister Su," he replied and continued, "I know. No need to trouble Miss Su. I can help you with your trip abroad, but you need to prepare all your documents."
He thought this answer was already satisfactory to them, but An Lan pouted and didn't say anything. An Chi frowned a little when he saw her attitude. An's mother said casually, "Let's eat first."
There weren't many dishes he wanted on the table, and there wasn't even an extra portion of rice for him, but on the surface, it still looked like a warm and cozy family gathering. That photo on social media was taken at that moment.
After the meal, he helped An's mother clear the table and wash the dishes. An Lan was sitting on the sofa playing on her phone. He couldn't stand it and said, "An Lan, come and help us."
An's mother protected her, saying, "Oh, no need, no need. Don't tire Lanlan out with such a small thing."
He remained silent. From childhood to adulthood, everything would exhaust An Lan but never him. When An Lan was sick, he thought it was because he was afraid her body couldn't handle it. But now that she was better, it was still the same. He suddenly felt a little regretful. Perhaps his words in the hospital were still somewhat naive. His parents didn't love An Lan out of pity, but because they loved her very much.
An Chi didn't offer much comment. He hadn't been back for so many years, and many things had changed. He felt like an outsider here.
While washing the dishes, An's mother came over and said, "Xiao Chi, Lan Lan really wants to go out and see the world. Could you talk to Miss Su about studying abroad? After all, she arranged everything for you when you went abroad."
“I need to take the certification exam too. There’s nothing wrong with me letting her take it now.” His hands rarely touched the bowls and chopsticks in the water anymore. Su Yao didn’t want to see him like this, and he always remembered that.
An's mother looked outside again and said to An Lan, "You know Lan Lan, she's not in good health and can't handle too much academic pressure."
“Mom, her health problems started years ago. Miss Mingming has already found the best doctors to cure her. Studying is not something to play around with. If all else fails, I’ll see if she can study abroad nearby, the kind where classes are taught in Chinese.” An Chi had already suggested the best solution he could think of.
An Lan, who was eavesdropping behind the door, suddenly appeared when she heard this: "Why can you go to study in America? I was the one who met the adoption requirements! Why didn't you let Sister Su adopt me! You just want to live a good life for yourself!"
An Chi was still wearing his apron, his hands still covered in dish soap. There was no anger or distress in his eyes, only worry. In his memory, his sister wasn't like this.
"Xiao Chi, don't listen to your sister's nonsense. Lan Lan, go back inside." Mother An tried to smooth things over again, but it was unclear who she was actually protecting.
An Chi cleaned up the table, took off his apron, and said, "Mom, I'm leaving now."
"Xiao Chi, don't take your sister's words to heart. She's still young and doesn't have many complicated thoughts."
He looked somewhat displeased: "So, how many twists and turns have I gone through, Mom?"
Mother An couldn't suppress her smile. "That's not what I meant. Remember to mention going abroad to Miss Su!"
He didn't answer, but silently went out the door.
At that moment, An Chi felt like he didn't belong anywhere. He couldn't go back to the Su family, nor could he stay in the An family.
For so many years, he still harbored the naivety of youth, thinking that Anlan simply showed more favor and concern when he was sick, but that he had a healthy body and that his parents did love him.
But today's conversation left him confused; perhaps this naiveté should have disappeared long ago.
Having nowhere to settle down, An Chi returned to his apartment in the city center, thinking his hopes had been dashed. But when he got into bed, he discovered that Su wanted to lie on top of him.
As he held her in his arms, he thought that perhaps living like this was not so bad. At least he had someone to care about, whether that person was physically present or not. As long as he could think of her, that was enough.
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
