Chapter 87 He Finally Recovered His Memory
Shen Ci Nian bent down to pick up the dusty collar and wiped it clean with his sleeve.
The snow-white shirt sleeves were stained after all. Shen Cinian sighed slightly and put away the exquisite necklace.
At that time, Fang Ke did not realize what this collar meant.
He once had the opportunity, just as he had thought in his heart, to use a leash to keep Shen Qinian here forever.
At least at the moment he gave the collar, Shen Cinian's thoughts were very clear, with only one thought: I am willing to keep it for you.
At least in this life, I will accompany him to spend it in peace.
But now, it is obviously impossible.
A bit regretful, but nothing serious.
…
It was late at night, Fang Ke was sitting under a street light, with a few cans of beer lying around him.
Like what
Fang Ke looked up in self-mockery, looking at the snowflakes that were nowhere to be seen under the light of the street lamps.
Like a dog, a stray dog.
But it was clearly him who took the initiative to abandon Shen Cinian, wasn't it?
It's him who doesn't want to be depressed for a long time.
How could he make himself so miserable, like a resentful woman who had been abandoned?
Chen Cinian is good at everything, so how can he be a trickster?
How could Shen Qinian be the evil one who brought him pain?
All his suffering is due to the opposition between weirdness and humanity.
Fang Ke drank two cans of beer in just three or four gulps. Beer didn't make him drunk, so he went to a convenience store and bought a bottle of white, a bottle of red, and several bottles of some other random stuff, mixed them all together, and drank them all.
He didn't understand why he was so sad and indecisive. He was such a decisive and rude person, why did his heart have to be so entangled in this matter?
The consequences of drinking mixed alcohol indiscriminately are splitting headaches, mental confusion, stomach pain, and a high probability of gastric perforation.
So what? Life is boring, I might as well drink myself to death.
He would continue drinking.
If you die, you won’t have to worry about it or make a choice so painfully.
Fang Ke was drunk as a dreg, his perception had dulled, and he only felt the force and looked up after being hit on the shoulder several times.
He frowned: It was Song Shuyi's annoying face.
"Hey, hey, I told you not to drink any more," Song Shuyi bent down leisurely, revealing a sly smile, "If you accidentally drink yourself to death again, the Lord God will be mine."
Song Shuyi sat down on the steps next to Fang Ke, her voice filled with a hint of melancholy. "The human world is actually quite interesting, isn't it?"
"None of my business."
"Why is it none of your business?" Song Shuyi raised her hand and patted Fang Ke's left shoulder. "Do you know that I hate you the most, especially you in my previous life. You always looked indifferent as if it had nothing to do with me. But because of you, I may never have the chance to come to the human world again."
"Not only me, but also the cook and the driver in your family will never have the chance to see the sunshine of the world again."
Fang Ke said nothing.
Song Shuyi spoke to himself: "If you want to know what your past life was like, I can tell you. I can also tell you about your parents' grudges. Ask now. I don't have much time. The Lord God may call us back soon."
"Not interested," Fang Ke just raised his head and drank the wine, his eyes looking at the dark sky where there was not a single star all year round.
"We will soon return to heaven," Song Shuyi muttered to herself, seemingly oblivious to Fang Ke's words. "We are from heaven, and each of our souls is a star. Stars have fallen to earth, losing their luster and becoming stained with dust. That dust is all kinds of desires."
Fang Ke felt a bit sad when he heard this, and he suddenly said, "You are a bullshit star. You weirdos are stars, so what are we humans?"
"You are the past of the stars," Song Shuyi propped up his head with his hands and looked up at the sky. "One day in the future, you will return to heaven. When you die, your soul will leave your body and float upwards. You will become a drop of water, merging into a sky-blue river, a river that flows from the earth to the sky. Every drop of water in the river is a person's soul, and the soul of every kind person will eventually become a star."
"Bullshit, isn't death the end?" Fang Ke clenched his fists and looked up at the dark sky where there was no hope. "If you die, you die. When you die, you're just a handful of dirt."
"It is impossible for a person to become a star."
"Oh, you know that too," Song Shuyi brushed the non-existent dust off his legs. He wasn't wearing sunglasses today, and the expression on his face was very clear: a little sad, a little disdainful. "That's what you said to me before, and that's how I answered you back then. What stars, what Milky Way? Even as a writer, I can't have such wild and unrestrained thoughts."
"But now I would rather believe that what you said is true, and that I am really going back to heaven."
"I'm about to leave, and I'm too lazy to tease you anymore, so I'll give you a little treat."
Before Fang Ke could react, Song Shuyi took out a mirror from somewhere, grabbed a ball of light from the mirror and stuffed it into Fang Ke's brain without saying a word.
"Saint, I will return to you those memories that moved the dead." Song Shuyi stood up and waved his hand behind him. "I have collected all the materials. We will never see each other again!"
After saying that, Song Shuyi disappeared, as if he had never been there.
The warm light of the convenience store shone on Fang Ke's back, but the snow in the human world fell all over his head.
The wind and snow seemed to be getting stronger.
It seemed like it happened a long, long time ago, more than a hundred years ago. At that time, there had never been such heavy snow on earth. A child of seven or eight years old was standing at the gate of the National Defense University. A gentle and elegant man passed by, and the child reached out for some reason and grabbed the man's sleeve.
That year, Chen Ci Nian was just reminiscing. The Lingdu United University had even changed its name. If the address had not changed, he really would not have recognized it at all.
He didn't know where this child came from and why he grabbed his sleeve. He just bent down and asked gently: "What's wrong? Are you lost?"
At that time, Fang Ke tightly grasped Shen Qinian's sleeve. He instinctively felt that this person was very familiar and instinctively trusted this person: "Help me! Lingyu wants to capture me and take me back for research..."
Perhaps it was this familiar scene that made Shen Qinian feel as if the world had gone through a cycle and everything was back to normal.
Only this time, he was the "Mr."
Chen Cinian didn't know how things turned out like this. He just wanted to go back to his hometown to take a look, but ended up raising a child halfway through.
He had raised Fang Ke just as Ren Qingshan had raised him, personally took Fang Ke to level up, and then told Fang Ke his identity when he thought the time was right.
The original intention was to say goodbye.
But in that life, Fang Ke, who had already grown up, insisted on returning to the abyss with Chen Cinian.
Later, the grudges became too complicated, too complex.
It's too sad, too sad.
One is the grace from the strange god, and the other is the belonging from the entire human race.
The two completely different positions tormented him and almost broke his heart.
Why is Shen Qinian not a human? Why is he a human?
Since Shen Qinian is not a human being, he must treat Shen Qinian as an enemy. Personal feelings are not tolerated above the human race.
As a human being, he must belong to the human race.
In fact, if he was just a little more selfish and willful, perhaps he wouldn't be so miserable.
But at that time, it happened that Shen Qinian himself set an example and never taught him what selfishness was.
From the beginning to the end, Chen Cinian has always been a selfless and righteous person. He was very clear about this in his previous life.
"Sir," he once said with red eyes, feeling sorry for the man who had always been alone, "Do you really have to drive me away?"
Shen Ci Nian just said: "Go back, you are a human being."
His eyes became even redder: "I am a human being, but I have my own choices."
Is his choice to go undercover in the abyss?
No, his choice was to help Shen Cinian in the abyss.
He became a traitor in the eyes of humans. He dug out the eyes of the captured security guard with his own hands to show his position to other big monsters.
Pain, self-blame, and hatred gradually devoured his desire to survive.
But those, it turns out, were not directed at Chen Cinian.
He just hated that the world couldn't be at peace, hated that most human beings were too selfish, and hated why his compatriots couldn't see through it.
Why can’t I see through it? I can’t see through Chen Ci’nian’s efforts.
Shen Cinian wanted to get him out cleanly, but he insisted on getting deeper and deeper into the filth.
Shen Cinian said he was rebellious and used some mild means to punish him and force him to go back, but he insisted on transferring all the insults to himself and insisted on doing everything to the extreme without leaving any way out.
In that life, he actually made Shen Qinian very sad.
"You're treating yourself like this," Shen Qinian's words to him were so profound that he remembered them for a long, long time. "Are you doing me justice?"
So what if I'm sorry? The hope in this world is too slim, too slim.
If you don't try your best, what's the point of seeking a new life?
He was just like Shen Cinian, trying to find ways to make the world a better place.
He wanted to change something, he wanted to find another way, a way other than sacrificing Shen Cinian.
But he couldn't find it no matter how hard he tried. It seemed that Shen Cinian's path was really the only way.
What was he thinking at that time?
Too hopeless and too powerless.
He knelt in front of Shen Qinian, crying inconsolably.
"If you must go, let me go ahead of you..."
"After I die, let my soul scatter. I would rather not have an afterlife."
"Kill me, please..."
Why make such a decision?
"I can't... stand this torture anymore."
Watching his lover walk towards the end step by step, watching Shen Cinian complete his mission without hesitation.
It was too torturous, he couldn't do it.
He hated it so much, he hated this world so much! He begged Shen Qinian to let his soul fly away, and Shen Qinian clearly promised him.
Shen Cinian deceived him and sent him into reincarnation again.
Let him suffer like this again!
"Chen Cinian..." Fang Ke, recalling everything, squeezed the beer bottle tightly in his hand. The bottle deformed and the beer spilled. He gritted his teeth and said, "If you dare to leave, you're done for!"
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The author has something to say: Happy National Day~ Updates will resume starting today.
Well... I'm just resting now. I can't have surgery due to intracranial hemorrhage. I'll have it in three months, but by then this book should be finished. Thank you all for your concern. I'm really sorry for making you worry and delaying the update [burst into tears]
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