The cool, refreshing liquor went down her throat just as the sunset was ending, and the last rays of the evening sun made her cheeks blush.
A sudden gust of wind rose at night. On the second floor of the tavern, Zhan Xinjia gripped her wine glass tightly, her misty eyes gazing at the sky. At that moment, she suddenly recalled the casual conversation she had with A-Yue a few days ago after dinner.
Are you really willing to do that?
…Sister, actually some things are not your responsibility. You really don't need to take everything on yourself.
Yes, I really dislike that bookish Grand Tutor Shen; I always feel like he stole you away. But rather than letting you leave, I'd much rather you two be happy together forever!
"But Yue, I've said before that feelings are only a part of my life, not everything. Should I disregard my parents for the sake of Lord Shen?"
Don't be ridiculous... How can a person abandon their family for a man? Isn't that just being a beast?
My parents raised me for sixteen years. Are they less important than a man I've only known for less than a year?
…It's not that Lord Shen isn't important, but I absolutely cannot choose him in this matter. It concerns the entire Great Sheng Dynasty, it concerns the turmoil and war; I can clearly distinguish which is more important.”
Although she was a bit cold-blooded, just as she had told Lord Shen before, she could never choose him first.
When faced with difficult choices, even if the process is painful, she will try her best to set aside personal feelings and make a relatively correct choice rationally.
In order to prevent her father from dying on the battlefield, she had to act first without telling her parents. After all, all the court needed was a pawn to stabilize the border, and it didn't matter who that person was.
In order to avenge her brother and find the real culprit who ordered the massacre of the Zhan family, she must also go to Nanjun.
She could never swallow the deep-seated hatred.
"Ah Zhi?"
A warm hand suddenly pressed against her cheek, and Zhan Xinjia, lost in memories, slowly came back to her senses.
Across the table, a slightly tipsy young man rested his head on one hand, his eyes shimmering, his gaze tender and gentle.
"What is Ah Zhi thinking about? Why is she always spacing out today?"
"nothing."
Zhan Xinjia smiled and bit her lower lip hard, trying not to cry on the spot like a coward.
Suppressing her grief, she pretended to be casual, casually holding her wine cup and speaking as if it were just idle conversation.
"Young Master Shen, if... I mean, if there are some extremely important matters that I need to attend to, and I have to leave you temporarily, would you be angry?"
Shen Suqing was stunned.
He knew very well that he should smile and say something like "It's okay, I will always support Ah Zhi" to fit the logic of "Master Shen's" persona, but this question really touched his bottom line.
Perhaps it was the intoxication of the alcohol that numbed his reason and consciousness, causing the dark heart hidden beneath his gentle and refined exterior to quietly reveal itself, cracking open with spiderweb-like fissures.
This disguise is no longer perfect; it is riddled with flaws.
Before he could react, his actions were faster than his thoughts; he had instinctively gripped her wrist tightly.
The young man's eyes were filled with coldness, his gaze was terrifyingly dark, and his tone was firm, each word spoken almost through gritted teeth.
"I won't let you leave!"
His indulgence of Azhi was based on the premise that she would always stay obediently by his side.
Once she begins to try to escape, he himself cannot guarantee that he won't do something outrageous and absurd. After wandering the world for twenty-two years and experiencing too many changes, the obsession hidden deep in his heart has long since tormented him into a seemingly normal madman.
For him, death was not the most terrifying thing.
Even if the world were to end, he would hold her hand tightly in his last moments before he died.
I will never let go.
Suddenly, a cool autumn night breeze swept by, sobering him up considerably and bringing him back to his senses.
Realizing he might have slightly frightened the little girl, Shen Suqing slowly released his grip and rubbed his temples with a headache.
A few stray hairs fell across his forehead, obscuring his gloomy eyes and brows; his voice was cold.
"This kind of joke is not funny at all, I don't want to hear it again."
No matter how willful or spoiled she is, it doesn't matter. She can have whatever she wants—the stars, the moon, or anything else. He can find anything for her, and he's willing to do anything for her. But letting her leave is absolutely out of the question.
This is the bottom line, and also the Achilles' heel.
There was a moment of complete silence.
Zhan Xinjia was finding it difficult to maintain her composure; her hand holding the wine glass was trembling, and her voice was involuntarily shaking.
She lowered her eyes, guiltily avoiding his gaze.
"...What if I really have a reason to do it?"
"Do I need to repeat myself one last time? No matter the reason, I will not accept it, Azhi."
He smiled gently, but the smile didn't reach his eyes; instead, it revealed a sinister chill.
“If you really intend to leave me, I will hate you.”
You were the one who started bothering me; you chose to get close to me; you chose to stay. I gave you many opportunities to back out, but you never left.
And such an opportunity will never come again.
Just then, the dim sunlight completely disappeared below the horizon.
The white lanterns hanging from the tavern mast were being blown by the strong wind and kept hitting the wall with a loud clanging. The light cast a pale, thin glow on his sharply defined profile, creating an interplay of light and shadow.
His pale, thin face was sinister and unpredictable, obscuring his features.
In the chaos, only those upturned phoenix eyes, as black as ink jade, gleamed with a cold light.
He had a smile on his face.
The tone sounded more like a threat than a discussion.
"Be good, and don't say things that might make me lose control of my emotions, okay?"
After saying that, Shen Suqing got up and walked to her side.
He bent down and embraced her tenderly, nuzzling her head against her head with his chin, his tone as gentle as could be, as if he had returned to being the refined and elegant Master Shen he always was.
He took her hand, his expression calm, serene, and gentle.
"Alright, it's getting late, let's go home."
Zhan Xinjia opened her lips, remained silent for a long time, and finally closed her eyes.
"Okay, let's go home."
For her, this was already the worst possible answer.
——
Walking home, Zhan Xinjia felt heavy-hearted, as if a huge boulder weighed down on her.
The evening market was bustling, with vendors calling out their wares and pedestrians thronging the streets. The two strolled through the lively market, each lost in their own thoughts, their hands clasped together beneath their sleeves, but their relaxed state of mind was no longer what it had been like when they arrived.
Zhan Xinjia knew very well that for her, every day like this was one less day she could have.
Master Shen said that he would hate her if she left.
hatred?
The mere thought of that unfamiliar word sent waves of pain through her heart, an overwhelming and unbearable agony that made it almost impossible for her to breathe.
Her eyelashes trembled slightly, and Zhan Xinjia pursed her lips tightly. She had to clench her teeth to barely maintain her composure on the surface, still pretending to be nonchalant as she smiled and looked up at him.
"Young Master Shen, what would you like to eat tonight?"
"There are some eggplants left at home that you like, so let's stir-fry some eggplant and minced meat. Is there anything else you'd like to eat, Ah Zhi?"
Shen Suqing gently stroked her hair.
Before she could answer, a shadow fell over her, and a middle-aged man with a long beard walked towards her.
Upon seeing Shen Suqing, the man cupped his hands in a respectful bow, a polite and flattering smile on his face, his attitude very enthusiastic.
"Oh, isn't this Lord Shen?"
Shen Suqing was stunned.
At that moment, Zhan Xinjia quietly withdrew her hand from his palm.
The middle-aged man approached, his eyes full of admiration, and laughed heartily as he spoke.
"It's been a long time since I've seen Lord Shen. To have risen to the rank of first-grade official at such a young age, Lord Shen is truly a promising young man!"
"Hehe, I won't bother with formalities. I have a beloved daughter of marriageable age, and I've heard that Lord Shen is still unmarried. I wonder if you would be willing to introduce my daughter to you?"
It's obvious that this person is here to try and establish a family connection.
Shen Suqing frowned in disgust, instinctively wanting to find Azhi and tell this person that he already had a fiancée.
But when he turned around, there was no one behind him.
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