Chapter 45, "It's impossible for me to divorce her"...
Shen Xi's long eyelashes trembled slightly, her gaze momentarily unfocused, and it took her a while to regain her composure.
Her senses returned in that instant, and she realized that the arms around her waist were incredibly strong, even trembling slightly.
A dull pain spread from my waist all the way to my chest.
She couldn't help but frown slightly, then looked up blankly, meeting Xie Chengyan's eyes directly.
His eyes held a turbulent undercurrent of anger, concealing a lingering fear beneath his fury.
Looking at Xie Chengyan's out-of-control state, Shen Xi suddenly tugged at the corner of her lips, seemingly lost in thought.
Then, she relaxed all her strength and lay back in his arms, almost completely exhausted, her dark, bright pupils fixed on him.
His voice was very soft, almost a sigh: "Xie Chengyan, I cherish my life, but I am not afraid of death."
Upon hearing this, Xie Chengyan's jaw tightened, and his face darkened alarmingly.
Crimson blood flowed continuously from the wound on Shen Xi's neck, meandering down and soaking into her clothes, instantly staining her plain white undergarment red.
The blood was particularly glaring.
Just like the splash of red that involuntarily appeared before his eyes every time he stepped into the Duke's mansion, which happened to be reflected on the pure white background, making it dazzling and shocking.
There's no escaping it, no way to avoid it.
It had haunted him since he was six years old, and tonight it reappeared before his eyes.
Xie Chengyan didn't say a word, his eyes calmly fixed on the bloodstain.
The anger stirred up by Shen Xi only lasted for a moment before it was all hidden away again.
He indifferently raised his hand and placed it on the wound to stop the bleeding, his long, slender hand gleaming coldly white in the firelight.
The crimson stains of blood on it were strangely eerie.
Xie Chengyan lifted her up with one arm around her waist, silently placed her back on the bed, and then coldly ordered the servants to bring the medicine box.
He didn't look at Chen Xi even once more from beginning to end.
Shen Xi stared stubbornly at Xie Chengyan, her long eyelashes casting a shadow beneath his eyes, obscuring the emotions in them.
She felt a little flustered, unsure whether she had won the gamble.
Therefore, after watching for a while, Shen Xi spoke again, with a hint of provocation: "Xie Chengyan, killing is easy, but letting someone live is not easy."
"To you, killing is just a matter of lifting a knife and striking, but conversely, if I were determined to die, how long do you think you could keep me alive?"
The tone was very faint, so light and ethereal that it seemed to transcend the years and pierce through past and present lives.
Xie Chengyan remained silent, his eyes lowered, focused on bandaging her wounds.
The pain in her neck came belatedly, and Shen Xi frowned slightly, unable to help but gasp.
Noticing her movement, Xie Chengyan lowered his gaze, and a mocking smile appeared on his lips: "Not afraid of death, but afraid of pain? Endure it."
After saying that, he not only did not stop, but instead increased the force of his attack, as if he was deliberately seeking revenge.
Shen Xi also endured the pain without making a sound, turning her eyes away, her knuckles clenched into fists, her lips turning white from the pain.
But Xie Chengyan had no intention of softening his blows.
A long silence fell over the room, each of them lost in their own thoughts in the dead silence.
Finally, after the wound was bandaged, Xie Chengyan was the first to lower his head.
"Tomorrow, I will have someone bring Wen Tingmao over."
His voice was low and husky, but his face was remarkably calm.
But at that very moment, suddenly, Shen Xi felt a lump in her throat, and her eyes instantly reddened.
Seeing this, Xie Chengyan's gaze lingered for a moment. He turned around and washed the blood off his hands, his voice cold and clear: "Why are you crying? Haven't you already gotten what you wanted?"
His figure was tall and slender, and he stood there slightly bent over to wash.
All the emotions he had shown during their argument had vanished, and he was now perfectly calm and composed, but the shadow cast on the wall by the firelight kept twisting and swaying.
Shen Xi quickly looked away, not having the courage to stare at Xie Chengyan any longer.
She knew she had gone too far.
To put it bluntly, it was simply because she vaguely knew that he might treat her differently, and relying on this difference, she wanted to fight for a better outcome.
Ultimately, it's just greed.
After a long silence, Shen Xi finally couldn't hold back and choked out, "Xie Chengyan, you are not as ruthless as Shen Wangchen when it comes to humiliating people."
That's why she couldn't hate him completely.
He didn't hate her enough, yet she couldn't possibly do as he wished.
Therefore, no one can gain the upper hand in this game, and they can only torment each other in this chaotic way, never able to figure out the outcome.
Xie Chengyan, with his back to her, paused slightly and said, "You and him are indeed of the same ilk."
His words reveal neither joy nor anger.
He left her with just that one sentence, then turned and left without looking back.
He didn't look at Chen Xi even once more from beginning to end.
The next day, Xie Chengyan kept his word and even went to Renfeng Hall in person to discuss the matter.
The backyard of Renfengtang is where medicine is decocted year after year, and every inch of the air seems to be filled with an unyielding bitterness.
Xie Chengyan knew the way well and stepped inside without any hindrance.
Wen Tingmao had just finished seeing patients and was resting on a recliner under a tree, with a pot of tea brewing beside him.
Upon spotting the person, Xie Chengyan walked straight up to him.
Tall and elegant, casting a long shadow, he looked down at the person relaxing leisurely on the recliner and got straight to the point: "She wants to see you."
Wen Tingmao glanced at him slowly, and when he saw that it was him, he snorted coldly: "You junior, you have no prior knowledge or understanding of the situation, and you can't even speak properly."
After saying that, he didn't even think about getting up, and closed his eyes again to bask in the sun.
Xie Chengyan showed no annoyance at his attitude, only lowered his eyes slightly, rubbed his fingertips, and did not speak again.
After all, they both knew perfectly well who he was talking about.
Wen Tingmao waited for a long time but still didn't hear Xie Chengyan's follow-up words, so he couldn't help but get impatient.
He muttered to himself, "He just said four words and then fell silent. He has quite a temper. I wonder if that girl can handle it."
Even so, she still sat up from the recliner and asked him seriously, "Why doesn't she come to see me herself? Why does she need you to be the messenger?"
Xie Chengyan's tone was flat, revealing no emotion: "She cannot leave the manor."
Wen Tingmao frowned, thinking that Shen Xi had been injured, and hurriedly asked, "What happened?"
Xie Chengyan, however, was frank and did not hide anything from him: "She's fine, this is what I meant."
Upon hearing this, Wen Tingmao sensed something amiss. He grabbed a palm-leaf fan used for decocting medicine and waved it, then looked him up and down: "You didn't bully her, did you?"
Xie Chengyan remained silent for a long while, his gaze fixed on the boiling teapot.
A summer breeze brushed past his ear, and he sighed almost imperceptibly, a rare look of bewilderment appearing on his usually composed face: "Perhaps, she doesn't want to stay."
Wen Tingmao snorted coldly and pointed at him with his palm-leaf fan: "Sounds like you had a fight? Humph, I knew you were a scheming brat who wouldn't treat that girl well."
"She looks like the most obedient person imaginable, yet you've only made things worse by bullying her. It would be strange if you wanted her to stay! If you can't treat her well, why did you insist on marrying her in the first place?"
Xie Chengyan remained silent, his eyes lowered as he listened to Wen Tingmao's indignant protests on behalf of Shen Xi.
Wen Tingmao pointed at him and cursed him for a long time, only stopping when his throat was dry.
After taking a sip of tea to soothe his throat, Wen Tingmao noticed out of the corner of his eye that Xie Chengyan was still standing there, silent. He was furious again and waved his sleeve.
“I said long ago that you two were not a good match. In the end, one of you schemed and plotted and insisted on marrying, while the other refused to believe it and insisted on marrying. In the end, you still ended up like this. I have lived for so many years. Although I have never married and had children, I have seen a lot of unhappy couples. Instead of wasting your energy like this, you should separate.”
After a long silence, Xie Chengyan suddenly raised his eyes: "It's impossible for me to divorce her."
His tone was firm, shutting down Wen Tingmao's remaining words.
Wen Tingmao glared at him, waving his palm-leaf fan even faster: "Then what are you doing here? Are you here to amuse this old man?"
Xie Chengyan's eyes were very calm as he glanced at Wen's slightly displeased face and said slowly, "Doctor Wen used to live in Qingzhou and rarely left, but this time he came to the capital, as if he has taken root and has no intention of leaving."
Wen Tingmao glanced at him and said, "I come and go as I please. Renfengtang doesn't occupy a single acre of your land. Mind your own business."
Xie Chengyan half-lifted his eyelids and calmly said, "Doctor Wen stayed for her sake, and so did I."
But Wen Tingmao didn't understand what he meant: "What do you mean?"
Xie Chengyan didn't say much, only saying, "She's been in a bad mood lately and wants to talk to you."
Wen Tingmao: "What is there to say to an old geezer like me?"
"She misses her mother, and only you remember her."
This single sentence immediately silenced Wen Tingmao. A gentle breeze carried the scent of medicine, which was extremely bitter.
He was stunned for a moment, but after thinking about it carefully, it seemed to make sense.
After a long silence, Wen Tingmao sighed, his voice lowering: "She... knows who I am?"
Xie Chengyan nodded and relayed Shen Xi's words: "She understood everything the first time she came to Renfeng Hall."
Wen Tingmao chuckled helplessly and shook his head: "Indeed, she's much smarter than her mother."
Then, he stood up and looked into the distance: "Since we've come this far, it would be really inexcusable for me not to make this trip."
*
After the two had a fight last night, Xie Chengyan went to his study. The next day, Shen Xi didn't see him all day.
Inevitably, I felt a little uneasy.
Last night's events seemed to indicate that she had won her gamble, but for some reason, Shen Xi felt a sense of emptiness in her heart, perhaps because she had overlooked something important.
She spent the entire night without sleep, still unable to come up with a solution.
Even today, she seemed somewhat distracted.
She remained stunned for a long time until Qingqiu came in to report: "Madam, the general has invited Doctor Wen over, and he just arrived outside the mansion."
Upon hearing this, Shen Xi was momentarily dazed, her fingertips unconsciously touching the wound on her neck, where a dull ache still lingered.
Seeing this, Qingqiu whispered a reminder: "Madam, please be careful not to pull on your wound. The general has instructed that Doctor Wen will examine you carefully later."
Shen Xi blinked slightly and stood up: "Let's go see him."
As soon as she entered the courtyard, through the shade of a tree, she saw Wen Tingmao and Xie Chengyan standing beside him with his hands behind his back, giving instructions to the servants.
Shen Xi's gaze lingered on him, and she didn't look away for a moment.
Xie Chengyan seemed to sense something and suddenly turned around, the two of them unexpectedly meeting eyes.
His eyes were calm and deep, without any ripples.
Neither of them spoke, but with just a glance, Shen Xi felt a sudden pang of fear.
But only for a moment, Xie Chengyan looked away, said a few words to Wen Tingmao, and then left without lingering, leaving her with only his tall back.
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