Chapter 44 Could it be that he's afraid she'll try to kill herself? ...
The midday heat was intense, and the small kitchen had prepared some refreshing dishes, but Shen Xi only ate two bites before putting down her chopsticks.
Seeing this, Qingqiu couldn't help but worry: "Madam, if you don't like it, I'll have the kitchen change the dish tomorrow."
Shen Xi swallowed a mouthful of food with difficulty, then shook her head: "No need, as long as it's normal."
The chefs at the General's Mansion were quite skilled, and the dishes served were not much different from usual, but she still found it hard to swallow the food.
Shen Xi knew perfectly well that the problem wasn't with the food, but with herself.
After her unpleasant encounter with Xie Chengyan that day, she could no longer step out of the General's Mansion.
Even when she was in the mansion, many people were on Xie Chengyan's orders to keep a close eye on her at all times.
Wherever she went, servants would keep an eye on her every move and report everything to Xie Chengyan in great detail.
Before she could even conjure up the idea of leaving, it was nipped in the bud.
Qingqiu noticed that Shenxi had been in low spirits these past few days, so after Shenxi finished eating, she tried various ways to distract her.
"Madam, autumn will be here soon. Why don't we make some kites to play with, just like in previous years?"
Shen Xi looked listless and uninterested. After hesitating for a moment, she smiled and did not refuse.
Given her current situation, being confined to Xie Chengyan's residence, she has nothing to do and her plans have been completely disrupted.
For now, we can only take it one step at a time. Constantly thinking about things without any results is not a solution. We might as well find something else to do to relieve our boredom. We can't treat ourselves badly.
Her eyes lit up: "That's fine too."
Actually, the skill of making kites was taught to her by her birth mother, Lin Anrong.
At that time, Shenxi was still young, and Lin Anrong guided her step by step, starting with selecting bamboo strips, applying paste, tying long strings, and making a complete kite little by little.
Despite the distant memory, Shen Xi's skill in making kites has not become rusty.
Qingqiu prepared the materials, and in just one afternoon, Shenxi had a lifelike paper kite shaped like a swallow in her hand.
As evening fell, the setting sun cast a blood-red hue across the sky, just as a gust of wind began to blow.
The kites in the ventilated area have dried and taken shape.
On a whim, Shen Xi took the newly made kite to the garden, wanting to test its flight.
Holding a thin string in my hand, I guide it; as the wind rustles through the treetops, the kite takes flight.
But it only flew for a short while.
For some unknown reason, the kite wobbled erratically in mid-air for a while before crashing headfirst into the branches of a nearby tree and getting firmly stuck.
"Oh dear, how did it get stuck in the tree?" Qingqiu ran to the tree and looked up to look at it. "Madam, please don't worry, I'll go up and take the kite down right away."
Shen Xi frowned slightly, walked to the tree and looked up as well. The kite was not stuck in a very high position, but the tree was full of branches and leaves. If it were forcibly pulled down, the kite would probably be ruined.
A group of people gathered under the tree and looked up in unison. A shrike circling in the yard saw this and landed down there.
It nimbly perched on a branch that stretched out at an angle, tilted its head and looked at the kite with curiosity, even peeking at it with its beak.
The catalpa tree under the tree was so anxious that it quickly stopped them, saying, "You can't eat this, be careful not to peck it."
The shrike only responded with two chirps.
The setting sun pierced through the branches and leaves, casting a dappled halo of light, which was a little dazzling, and Shen Xi couldn't help but close his eyes.
The moment darkness fell, an indescribable sense of suffocation welled up inside me, as if something was struggling and surging, about to burst forth from the ground.
Shen Xi failed to grasp that fleeting, subtle feeling. When she opened her eyes again, the shrike seemed to have a telepathic connection, turning its head and staring blankly at her.
Suddenly, in that instant, Shen Xi became curious about the view from above as seen by these birds.
So he ordered, "Find a ladder, I'll go up and take a look."
Qingqiu hesitated for a moment, then quickly advised, "Madam, you mustn't. Such a tall tree is too dangerous."
Shen Xi glanced at her, then looked at the lush tree in front of her: "It's alright, it's not very tall. Even if you accidentally slip and fall, you won't die."
Upon hearing her say this, not only Qingqiu, but also the servants who followed behind her hurriedly joined in the persuasion.
"Madam, you can leave such rough work to the servants. Don't worry, they will definitely be able to bring the kite down safely."
As they were talking, a quick-witted servant brought a ladder and leaned it against the tree, about to hurriedly climb up.
Shen Xi's eyes turned cold. The pent-up frustration of being monitored and imprisoned for days was finally broken by a small straw.
She spoke slowly, expressionless: "Xie Chengyan told you to keep an eye on me, to control everything, including my leaving the manor. What, now you even want to control me climbing trees?"
"lady……"
Shen Xi's hidden rebellious streak was completely ignited at this moment, bursting out of her chest.
She snapped to herself and took a step forward: "Get out of the way!"
Seeing that the servants still wanted to stop her, Shen Xi swept her gaze coldly around them: "Xie Chengyan only ordered you to monitor me and not allow me to leave the manor. You have no say in anything else. Besides, everyone, do you all know who is the master in this inner courtyard?"
Hearing this, one could tell that Shen Xi was somewhat annoyed.
During the time these servants had been serving her, they had gotten to know her temperament to some extent.
She usually looks gentle and weak, and treats people with kindness. Even though she had a falling out with Xie Chengyan, she never took her anger out on the servants.
But once he becomes stern and angry, it means he is truly enraged, and even a general cannot subdue him.
Seeing that she was determined to do so, none of the servants around her dared to stop her anymore. They could only stand guard cautiously to the side, keeping a close eye on her movements, for fear that something unexpected might happen.
Shen Xi climbed the ladder step by step.
Upon reaching the top, instead of rushing to retrieve the kite caught on a branch, he leaned against the tree trunk, turned around, and gazed into the distance.
The ladder wasn't high, and all that could be seen were grass, trees, rocks, and layers of green tiles. It wasn't exactly expansive, but the scenery was still different from what you'd see from below.
She wore a red dress that day, and the summer breeze that swept by seemed to stir up a red wave.
Shen Xi took a deep breath, and with the timely breeze, the tightness in her chest eased a little.
Therefore, she was not in a hurry to go down, but instead turned sideways and sat on the ladder.
The shrike next to her saw her and came closer, its fluffy head nuzzling against Chen Xi's hand.
Shen Xi smiled and reached out her fingertips to tease the bird. Under the setting sun, the two of them, one human and one bird, enjoyed a rare moment of peace.
"Shen Xi!"
Suddenly, a sharp shout abruptly interrupted the scene.
Before Shen Xi could look in the direction of the sound, a strong forearm suddenly appeared around her waist, pulling her into its embrace without a word.
Suddenly, her vision was blocked by a warm chest. Before Shen Xi could react, the world spun around her and her feet were already on the ground.
Even so, she was still somewhat dazed. Suddenly, a buzzing sound rang in her ears, like the sound of wind whistling past a high cliff.
But on a summer evening, there is only a slight breeze.
She was held in Xie Chengyan's arms, momentarily stunned by the sudden daze, until the arms around her waist tightened, almost suffocating her.
Shen Xi then realized that she was still in the back garden of the General's Mansion.
Suddenly, a deep voice came from above: "What are you trying to do climbing so high?"
"The kite got caught in the tree..."
Caught off guard by this sudden barrage of questions, Shen Xi instinctively tried to answer Xie Chengyan's questions, but then she snapped out of her daze, broke free from his embrace, and pushed him away.
"What I'd like to ask is, what are you doing?"
Shen Xi couldn't help but feel annoyed. She had only climbed a tree to get a kite, so what had caused him to be so fierce and kidnap her without saying a word?
She took a few steps back, and when she looked up, she inadvertently met Xie Chengyan's eyes.
His eyes flickered, and a strangely unfamiliar emotion flowed from them.
Shen Xi suddenly paused for a moment.
After a moment, he realized something: "You were worried that I would fall... no, were you afraid that I would jump down and kill myself?"
When Xie Chengyan heard a certain word, his brows furrowed noticeably, but only for a moment before he lowered his eyelids, subtly concealing his emotions.
Instead of answering her question, he said, "Just let the servants take the kite down from the tree. Why did you go up there and make a fuss?"
The tone was not exactly gentle.
Shen Xi didn't answer. Although the strange look in his eyes just now was fleeting, she was still certain that she hadn't seen wrong.
Facing Xie Chengyan, who glanced up briefly before regaining his composure, Shen Xi sneered, "Don't worry, I value my life very much and wouldn't do something as stupid as courting death."
After saying that, Shen Xi didn't want to say anything more to him, nor did she dwell on the kite still hanging in the tree. She turned around and left.
Thus, the turmoil that surged in Xie Chengyan's eyes when he heard her words was overlooked.
His eyebrows were unconsciously lowered, and his face was frighteningly grim.
Cherishing life?
In her past life, she clearly did the same stupid thing she described.
Just now, she was sitting on a high place in a red dress. In a daze, Xie Chengyan seemed to see the scene from his previous life again.
Even the smile on their lips is exactly the same.
It was as if past and present lives overlapped in that instant.
He was caught off guard and was so bewitched that he lost control of his emotions.
Xie Chengyan pressed his brow, his gaze sweeping over the kite stuck among the lush foliage. He stood with his hands behind his back and calmly gave instructions to his servants.
"Go and take down the lady's kite."
Meanwhile, Shen Xi returned to her room in a sullen mood, having long forgotten about the kite, her mind preoccupied with Xie Chengyan's reaction earlier.
His panic, his rush towards her almost the instant he saw her, and his first sharp shout were all subconscious reactions.
He was clearly worried that she might do something rash and jump off the cliff.
Even if someone jumped from that height, they would at most suffer minor injuries, certainly not death.
But Xie Chengyan was so flustered.
Could it be that he was afraid she would commit suicide?
But she clearly cherished her life very much. Even when he kept her under house arrest in the mansion, she tried her best to live well and never did anything extreme like trying to kill herself.
I don't know where his worries came from.
Shen Xi couldn't help but think this to himself.
Suddenly, she remembered the words Xie Chengyan had unintentionally said during their previous argument.
He once said that he had attempted suicide by jumping off a steep cliff, disregarding his own life or death.
At the time, Shen Xi thought he was just talking nonsense, but after thinking about it today, Shen Xi suddenly realized something.
Suddenly, his eyes lit up and an idea came to him.
Even in this stalemate, things can't get too badly out of hand.
Why not take a gamble?
As for Xie Chengyan, after returning from the garden, he first went to his study to handle some official business, which gradually calmed his mind. It wasn't until evening that he went to Shen Xi's place under the moonlight.
The night was cool and still, and the grass and trees rustled softly.
Xie Chengyan stepped into the room, bathed in the bright moonlight.
Upon closer inspection, one sees Shen Xi dressed only in a plain white undergarment, sitting upright by the couch, his brows and eyes lowered, playing with something in his hand.
Her expression was focused, and though she was half-lit by the candlelight beside her, her beauty was still undeniable. Her jet-black hair cascaded down her back, making her skin appear even whiter.
Xie Chengyan's eyes flickered slightly. He walked closer and unconsciously lowered his voice: "Why are you sitting here? Aren't you going to rest?"
Hearing his movement, Shen Xi did not look up, but calmly put away what she was holding before getting up.
The next instant, those slender hands were already on Xie Chengyan's outer robe, helping him to undress, her eyes lowered, her voice gentle.
"I’m waiting for you."
Xie Chengyan frowned, sensing something was wrong: "Xi'er?"
Shen Xi, however, was seriously untying his belt, her eyes slightly downcast, looking somewhat innocent: "What's wrong?"
"You have something to tell me, right?"
Xie Chengyan already had a precedent for her taking the initiative to approach him from time to time.
He grabbed her hand to stop her from doing anything further, almost instantly revealing her intentions.
Upon hearing this, Shen Xi's brow twitched slightly. After a long pause, he slowly spoke, "Xie Chengyan, I do have something to tell you."
She spoke calmly, but she didn't dare look him in the eye.
Xie Chengyan noticed her reaction, raised an eyebrow slightly, and asked in a deep voice, "Yes, what is it?"
Shen Xi bit her lower lip and hesitated for a moment. Finally, a resolute look flashed in her eyes, and she spoke.
"Xie Chengyan, I can stay in the manor obediently as you wish and serve as your weapon to take revenge on Xie Wenlang, but I have one condition."
These words echoed clearly in the room, and the atmosphere seemed to instantly turn cold. Xie Chengyan's palm, which was covering her hand, slowly tightened.
But Shen Xi only frowned slightly and continued speaking.
She suddenly looked up, her eyes bright and clear, shimmering with a dazzling light in the dim candlelight.
"Let me see Wen Tingmao."
Xie Chengyan narrowed his long, narrow eyes, took her hand, and leaned closer: "What do you want to see him for?"
Shen Xi did not flinch, looking at him gently: "I have no one to talk to in the manor now. Wouldn't it be nice to see him and chat?"
Their eyes met, and there was clearly no tenderness in her eyes. Xie Chengyan gave a cold smile: "Xi'er, is that all?"
"certainly."
Shen Xi blinked, and without hesitation, raised her hand to wrap around Xie Chengyan's waist, nuzzling her head against his chest.
"Don't you also know who he is? Back when you sent people to investigate Shen Wangchen."
Xie Chengyan neither rejected her advances nor refuted her words. He simply placed his palm on the back of her head and whispered, "When did you find out?"
“Before I married you, I met Wangyou, the young servant boy of Renfeng Hall. He said that someone went to Qingzhou to investigate a certain matter, which alarmed Wen Tingmao, which is why he came to the capital. After thinking about it, I realized that this matter must be related to the Shen family. Later, I thought that Shen Wangchen had seen you on Chengyang Mountain, which is why he went crazy.”
Shen Xi calmly voiced all her guesses, a faint smile curving her lips: "Xie Chengyan, it's not hard to guess."
Xie Chengyan praised without reservation: "Our Xi'er is indeed very smart."
Immediately, a pleasant chuckle fell from above Shen Xi's head, accompanied by the heaving of his chest: "So you guessed Wen Tingmao's identity in the same way?"
Shen Xi didn't hide it from him: "I discovered it the first time I went to Renfeng Hall. The wooden carving he put on the table was made by my mother."
After saying that, she paused, snuggled closer to Xie Chengyan, and sighed, "He is my mother's master, Xie Chengyan. I miss my mother."
Xie Chengyan gently stroked the back of her head, his eyes darkening slightly, and comforted her: "Next year during Qingming Festival, I will accompany you to pay respects to her."
Shen Xi shook her head, buried her face in his chest, and said with a sob in her voice, "But I want to see Wen Tingmao. He is the only person left in this world who still remembers my mother. I miss her so much and want to talk to someone about her."
Xie Chengyan pulled her into his arms, tightening his grip: "Xi'er, it's the same if you tell me."
“It’s different,” Shen Xi said in a muffled voice. “Xie Chengyan, your parents are still alive, so you don’t understand the feeling of losing your mother. Besides, you don’t even know her.”
These words truly reached Xie Chengyan's ears, and his pupils instantly darkened, the candlelight unable to illuminate the darkness in his eyes.
For a long time, he remained silent, and the fingertips that had been stroking Chenxi's nape gradually stopped.
Shen Xi broke the silence again: "Xie Chengyan, I'll listen to whatever you say, just let me see him."
But all she received was Xie Chengyan's sigh: "Xi'er..."
Xie Chengyan knew her thoughts all too well. Her longing for her mother was just an excuse. Once she saw Wen Tingmao, she would definitely find a way to leave again.
She refused to stay obediently.
That heart was never with him.
Xie Chengyan carefully considered his words, but before he could say anything more, Shen Xi suddenly broke free from his embrace and took two steps back.
His eyes flickered slightly, his gaze fixed intently on her every move.
Shen Xi stared intently at him with her dark eyes, feigning ignorance as she asked, "Xie Chengyan, would you agree to this condition?"
Xie Chengyan knew that if this topic continued, she would inevitably throw a tantrum at him again.
Therefore, he did not answer immediately. Instead, he lowered his eyes to avoid her gaze, walked to the table, and slowly poured a cup of tea.
The tea leaves sloshed and collided, making a tinkling sound that suddenly echoed in the room.
Amidst the soft sound of water, Shen Xi asked again in a low voice, "Xie Chengyan, will you answer me?"
Xie Chengyan lightly brushed his fingertips across the teacup, avoiding the question: "I've already had someone take that kite down..."
But he didn't finish his sentence.
Suddenly, a very soft sound of a sword being drawn rang out from behind him, and Xie Chengyan's expression hardened.
Looking back, the candlelight flickered, casting a cold glint.
But it turned out to be the short blade shaped like a hairpin that Shen Xi had used to protect herself.
At that moment, she pulled it out and held it tightly in her palm, her eyes calm and unwavering.
She slightly turned the dagger, and the sharp blade gleamed coldly in the candlelight.
Xie Chengyan frowned, his voice turning cold: "What are you doing?"
Shen Xi chuckled lightly, but there was no smile in his eyes: "Of course it's not for killing you. General, you are a martial artist. I am not so presumptuous as to overestimate myself."
"Shen Xi, put the knife down."
Xie Chengyan took a step forward, and the shadow drew closer with each step.
His face was hidden in the dim light, but Shen Xi could tell that he was already angry.
The more this happened, the calmer Shen Xi became.
Seeing that he was about to step forward to take the knife, Shen Xi immediately pointed the sharp blade at his own neck.
Without hesitation, the tip pressed precisely against the vulnerable throat.
In a single instant, Xie Chengyan's movements came to a halt. His brows furrowed tightly, his expression even more furious than it had been that afternoon.
Shen Xi's gaze swept over his eyebrows and eyes, a smile curving her lips as she asked softly.
"Xie Chengyan, if I die, can you find a more suitable knife to take revenge on Xie Wenlang?"
Suddenly, the candle flame crackled, and the light flickered violently, distorting the shadows of the two people.
Xie Chengyan finally straightened up, staring at her with a cold and sharp gaze, and repeated in a deep voice: "Put down the knife first, then we can talk."
As he spoke, he tried to get closer to her again.
Unexpectedly, Shen Xi took two steps back, which caused the sharp blade to penetrate even deeper.
She seemed oblivious to the pain in her neck and calmly said, "Although I am not as skilled in martial arts as the general, in the current situation, Xie Chengyan, do you think you can stop this knife in my hand?"
Xie Chengyan: "Shen Xi, are you threatening me with your own life?"
Chen Xi swallowed softly, then met his eyes without hesitation: "Yes."
"Just for Wen Tingmao?"
"yes."
Their eyes met, neither of them yielding. For a moment, the room was so quiet that only their breathing could be heard.
After a long standoff, Xie Chengyan suddenly lowered his eyes and chuckled softly: "Xi'er, this afternoon you just told me that you value your life and wouldn't seek your own death."
After saying that, he raised his eyes and stared at her with sharp eyes: "You don't dare to do it."
In short, he was extremely certain.
Those eyes were deep and dark, seemingly piercing through her thoughts in an instant, tinged with a hint of cold indifference.
Looking at him like this, Shen Xi was unsure of what to feel, and her heart sank even further.
After a moment's thought, she met his gaze without flinching and returned his smile.
"Xie Chengyan, what makes you think you really understand me?"
Xie Chengyan remained silent, his cold gaze fixed on her, seemingly not intending to retaliate, but waiting to see how she would handle the situation if she couldn't bring herself to do it.
Shen Xi's eyelids twitched slightly, and she sneered, "Xie Chengyan, you're far too self-important."
Before he finished speaking, he closed his eyes, and with a sudden burst of strength, he thrust his hand straight down toward his neck.
The movements were swift and decisive, without the slightest hesitation.
Seeing this, Xie Chengyan finally realized something was wrong, and his eyes sharpened.
In a flash, he didn't care about anything else and rushed forward, stopping her hand from stabbing downwards just before the blade pierced her neck.
Then, with a twist of his wrist, he successfully snatched the knife away.
Stunned by his sudden force, Shen Xi's body fell uncontrollably to the side.
Xie Chengyan simultaneously reached out his other hand and pulled the person into his arms.
Both of them staggered a few steps.
His face was gloomy, his teeth were clenched, and there was a clear sense of lingering fear in his deep, unfathomable eyes.
A crisp clang.
He had already casually tossed the dagger away.
Looking down at the person huddled in his arms, even though he moved quickly, the skin on that fair neck had already been broken, and a glaring bloodstain slowly flowed down the wound.
Xie Chengyan frowned, staring intently at the bloodstain, and gripped her tightly with his palm.
“沈、晞”.
He spoke each word slowly and deliberately, as if they were being forced out through his teeth.
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Author's note: This young couple's constant arguing is driving me crazy! [crying emoji]
You two are arguing again, aren't you? You're both such stubborn little devils, you won't listen to reason or pressure! (orz)
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