Chapter 68
I find it hard to imagine myself being with Killua, as Alluka suggested.
This is not the ending I wanted.
But what kind of ending do I secretly hope for?
I can't say for sure.
Before we knew it, quite some time had passed. From where Arka and I were hiding, we could see what was happening on the other side of the clinic window.
Hisoka woke up.
But just as Alka's abilities didn't react to his survival, I knew that his awakening from unconsciousness didn't mean he was completely out of danger.
"I don't know when we can go back," I said to Aluka.
Aluka's face, which had been somewhat happy towards the end of the conversation, immediately turned gloomy.
He frowned, buried the lower half of his face back into the doll, and muttered the same sentence repeatedly:
"It might take a long time... I'm sorry..."
Before he could say anything more, I reached out and, avoiding his stiff hair ornament, patted his head.
“It’s alright,” I said, “after all, you saved my life.”
“But…” Alka’s brows were still furrowed, and she muttered softly, “If only I could have done better from the beginning…”
He was very depressed.
I wanted to say something, but I couldn't say it in the end, because through the clinic window, I saw Hisoka in some kind of condition again.
He spoke a few words to the doctor, who then left the room. Hisoka immediately threw back the covers—
He was clearly not fully recovered; blood was seeping from his wounds, but he still struggled to hold onto the window and try to jump out.
What is this?
I opened my eyes wide, momentarily forgetting my conversation with Alka, my mind completely drifting into that window.
It was at this moment that Hisoka looked up and met my gaze. We stared at each other for a moment.
I didn't expect him to notice me, and I shrank back slightly in surprise. He was also clearly not expecting my presence, and his expression was momentarily stunned.
"..."
They remained silent for less than a moment when the clinic doctor pushed the door open and came back in.
Hisoka leaped down.
His movements were so conspicuous that even Aluka noticed something was wrong.
"That person—"
Alka stared at Hisoka.
In that brief moment, Hisoka turned and headed straight towards me and Alka.
...His face as he walked forward vaguely overlapped with a scene from my memory, and I couldn't help but feel a moment of disorientation.
...
In that blurry memory, which seemed like a tattered and damaged film reel, and which I once thought might be a dream, I simultaneously saw Hisoka's face, Killua's face, and Alluka's face.
...
In that brief moment of distraction, a scalpel—who knows when Hisoka hid it—was aimed at the gap between me and Alka and inserted.
Dust settled in a flurry, and the scalpel trembled slightly before returning to stillness.
Hisoka, standing not far away, narrowed his eyes and gave us a strange smile.
It was too late to leave now, so I simply dragged Aluka along to show up as well. Before we acted, I made sure to pull out the knife that was stuck in our backs.
The clueless clinic doctor was peering out the window. I waved to him, considered for a second whether to throw the scalpel back to him, and then quickly rejected the idea.
Although with my skills, I probably wouldn't risk his life by misjudging the injury, but... it wouldn't be good to scare a vulnerable ordinary person.
While I was greeting the doctor, Hisoka laughed. It was the same kind of laugh I knew from Hisoka, only slightly less manic and more like a strange, ordinary laugh.
"You two—" His tone, like later, was full of ups and downs, "where did you come from?"
He uttered another name, something along the lines of how I and Aluka helped him drive away a certain group, and he was puzzled by it.
I was listening intently when suddenly my mind went blank again, and images that shouldn't have appeared in my memory resurfaced, like ripples spreading across a calm lake.
I rubbed my head.
"What did you say?" I didn't hear the rest of Hisoka's words.
These words struck a nerve with him, and the still-young Hisoka puffed out his somewhat round face, his eyes filled with sorrow.
The doctor rushed out of the clinic, cursing and complaining that Hisoka had failed his treatment, while questioning why we had stolen his scalpel.
His nagging gave me a headache... no, I don't know why, I already had a bit of a headache. In short, I didn't have the extra energy to deal with this accident, so I could only wait listlessly for the doctor to finish his lecture before handing the scalpel back to him.
He seemed about to say something more, but I sighed and pointed at Hisoka.
"I didn't do anything. If you have something to say, just say it to this guy."
Aluka remained silent. After shifting my focus, I turned to Aluka and said:
"Let's go, ignore them."
My headache made me not want to care about Hisoka anymore—if he dies, he dies. The sooner he dies, the sooner Alka and I can leave this place and we won't have to rack our brains to help him avoid danger.
As expected, my feelings for him were limited.
Hisoka, who was just laughing and watching the show without feeling any remorse for doing something he shouldn't have done, has finally taken action.
But that wasn't a repentance for his actions; it was just another attempt to shift the blame.
“My dear,” he said, “where are you taking our child?”
I:"……"
Alka: "..."
doctor:"……"
After an eerie silence, the doctor's gaze swept back and forth between the three of us, filled with doubt.
Clearly, neither Hisoka nor I look old enough to have Alluka—
So how could he have the nerve to say something that's obviously a lie!
As expected of him, the familiar Hisoka.
Not only does he want to steal Illumi's engagement, but now he's even trying to steal his younger brother...!
Seeing that we weren't responding, Hisoka couldn't hold back any longer. He opened his mouth, as if to say something—
“That’s enough,” I said, holding up my hand and gesturing. “Stop talking.”
This guy never uttered a single pleasing word.
Knowing him as I do, there must be a reason why he suddenly went crazy.
“You want to know what’s going on between me and Aluka, right?” I asked him directly and frankly. “Okay, we can sit down and talk about it for now.”
...
There's nothing to talk about, and it's impossible to tell the truth.
While it's not shameful to admit that "Alluka and I just wanted to help you," such a confusing statement as "time travel" might be disliked by others, but it's perfectly acceptable to say it directly to Hisoka.
But I just don't want to tell the truth.
This is a kind of chaotic thinking mechanism that has formed in my brain due to some mistakes over a long period of time. When faced with a problem, I just want to escape, and when I should tell the truth, I just want to speak.
So, after I saw the doctor off and sat down somewhere with Hisoka and Alluka, I said to him:
"We just happened to be passing by, met you, and helped you out of the goodwill."
"Thank you so much~ I've never seen you around here before~" he said casually.
I went along with him and said, "So we were just passing by."
Hisoka didn't believe it.
Hisoka said, "Hmm~ So, may I ask what you two have been waiting for outside the clinic for?"
He repeated the name I had never heard before, which I guessed was probably his current enemy, and then he asked me if I was targeting that person.
I suddenly noticed that his psychic powers were very chaotic.
At first, I thought it was just because he was injured, but now it seems that he has recovered his spirit, but his mental energy is still in a chaotic state.
“I don’t know you, nor do I know the person you’re talking about. I have no interest in getting involved in your love-hate relationship,” I suddenly changed my target and said, “but you seem really curious. In that case, I’m willing to tell you who we are.”
At the end of my sentence, I deliberately left a blank, and after a moment, I smiled and said:
“We’re from the Zoldyck family. If you need anything, sir, please pay us a fee and we’ll provide you with the service you desire. …You probably need this, right? That’s why I’m waiting outside the clinic. Are you satisfied?”
“Zoldyck…” Hisoka repeated.
“Yes.” I pulled Alka over without changing my expression and introduced her to Hisoka, “My name is Illumi, and this is my younger brother Milluki.”
Hisoka seemed to be deep in thought: "Hmph~"
"So do you need anything?" I urged, while my gaze swept over him from head to toe, trying to guess what was wrong with his telekinesis. "It's not impossible to buy on credit."
If we can wipe out all his enemies in one fell swoop, then Alka and I can leave, right?
...As for the fact that I was planning to marry him before I came here, I'd better not talk about it.
Who knows what kind of crazy thing this guy will do after hearing that?
I looked at Hisoka expectantly.
He thought for a moment, then pulled out a card from somewhere and chuckled.
I instinctively reached out and took his card.
Hisoka slightly dodged my movement and said:
"You can also commission jobs other than murder, right?"
Me: "...That depends on what services you need."
After I finished speaking, it dawned on me that, under normal circumstances, Hisoka should be stronger than me and he wouldn't need my help. But now, he had to rely on my help.
In the past, I always felt a subtle unpleasantness when I talked to him. He would just squint and smile at me, which would offend me and make me angry. But now, as he stares at me for a long time, my mind is calmly focused on his request and whether I can complete it.
"I need to go somewhere." After a short wait, I heard the person in front of me say this. "I don't need you to kill anyone for me~ You should be able to do that little thing."
I relaxed, nodded, and accepted the payment.
Where to go?
He gave me the location, and I turned to look at Alka, thinking regretfully that it would be great if I could borrow Alka's abilities, but most people who make wishes to Alka end up in a terrible situation... I was only halfway through thinking this when I saw Alka blink.
"Should we set off now?" he asked Hisoka.
Hisoka: "The faster the better~"
Aluka hummed in agreement.
Almost instantly, Hisoka disappeared from the opposite side of us.
"You can control your abilities now..." I wondered.
Aluka said, "Because I've been going around in different places... I'm very familiar with this move..."
"That...unidentified object?" I tried to find out from him.
Alka remained silent.
"Should we go and check on him?" I asked. "Is it alright to leave him alone?"
Aluka whispered, "I don't care..."
My head started hurting again, and I felt disoriented.
Ignoring Aluka's reaction, I covered my head and slumped onto the table. The world spun around me, and the more time passed, the more my mind became a jumbled mess.
Memories that shouldn't have belonged to me seem to have been forcibly incorporated into my mind due to Alka's influence.
Illumi's face, expressionless, was facing me, and he was saying:
"Hiso always asks me if I don't have a younger sister or a younger brother who looks like a sister... But after meeting Kalto, he says they don't look alike, even though Kalto looks a lot like us."
In this world, I, who obediently walked down the aisle with Illumi, have no affection for Hisoka.
I said, "He's a very strange person."
Illumi asked, "Why do you say that, Rai?"
I complained, "He always looks at me with strange eyes, brother."
Illumi exclaimed, "Ah... that makes sense, but it wasn't a malicious look. Don't worry about it too much, and you won't have much of a chance to see him anyway."
And so, my connection with Hisoka ended. When I heard news of him again someday, he seemed to have disappeared during a duel.
[Illumi]: "What a pity. Hisoka is a good companion. It would be so convenient to call on him when dealing with things."
Me: "Really?"
[Illumi]: "He's very destructive. You know the Heaven's Arena, right? There used to be another arena besides the Heaven's Arena. Hisoka destroyed it as soon as he learned Nen. It was because of this that someone placed an order for him, and that's how we met."
Me: "Oh."
[Illumi]: "You don't seem interested in anything outside of home."
Me: "After all, I only need you, big brother."
...
Headache.
"Why does my head hurt so much... Aluka?" I couldn't help but ask. "And I keep seeing scenes I've never experienced before... Is this a side effect of your ability?"
Aluka sat quietly.
“Yes, Sister Lei,” he said, “Apart from me, everyone else who travels through time will slowly merge with their current self in this time and space… The more you come into contact with them, the faster you merge, the more your head will hurt.”
"Why are you an exception?" I asked again.
“Because there’s only one Alluka,” he said. “Killua, who was willing to save Alluka, has forgotten about me because of Rai, so the other Killuas won’t remember Alluka either, and no one is willing to save Alluka. So I’m the only one left.”
“If we don’t go back soon, my sister will end up like this too… Everyone remembers some things about my sister, but not very deeply or much… because she has disappeared from everyone’s memory. There is nowhere she can go back to, so she can only wander around.”
He turned to look at the place where he had seen Hisoka off and said:
"That person, no matter which world he's in, will remember Sister Lai without his knowledge, after all, Sister Lai chose to help him when he needed her today... Every world influences each other... but that's all. He'll never remember her."
“Sometimes, feelings come about inexplicably like this. Sister Lei feels that life is hard and unhappy every day because she has died many times in other places and knows her future without remembering it.”
In the world that Alugan observes, there is no love or hate without a cause. Everything is constantly repeating itself on a predetermined track. The wheel tracks become deeper and deeper, and everyone on board gets stuck in the mud, sinking into love or unable to extricate themselves from painful struggles.
He still hasn't found a way to save everyone at once, and can only repeat the journey again and again.
The masses could not be saved, and he himself became lost as a result.
This is a nightmare of a vast, labyrinthine maze.
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