Chapter 158 His life was like a farce
The room was dimly lit, with only the moonlight streaming in through the window providing some illumination. The light was hazy and indistinct, making it difficult to see faces clearly, which was just right for Shen Jin at this moment.
After all, he didn't need to see Yan Yu. He just wanted to sleep and live his life as usual when he woke up in the daytime. As for Yan Yu, he should treat him like a stranger.
That would make Shen Jin feel better, and it would allow him to repeatedly hypnotize himself in his mind, constantly telling himself that they were just strangers from the beginning, nothing more.
They were never close, never truly possessed each other, and what happened between them was ultimately nothing more than a farce.
"Shen Jin..." Yan Yu couldn't help but call out. Although Shen Jin had told him to shut up and go to sleep, he just couldn't help it. Besides, he had been sleeping for too long and really didn't feel like sleeping anymore.
"Don't touch me." Shen Jin frowned. He couldn't sleep either, so he simply turned over, looked at the moonlight outside the window, and his thoughts began to wander.
Shen Jin felt that those unforgettable things had faded with the passage of time and the friction between the two of them, to the point that he could now let go of those past events.
He felt he could let go and move on; it wasn't a big deal. He didn't quite understand the dramas in many relationships where people were so deeply in love that they couldn't live without each other.
...Because at this point, he can survive without anyone.
Yan Yu had no idea what he was thinking. He could only glance at his profile and feel a little sad. He cautiously asked, "Could you... talk to me for a bit?"
“No.” Shen Jin answered without hesitation.
The room fell silent again for a while. Just as Yan Yu was about to continue speaking, Shen Jin became impatient and said, "If you want to talk, that's fine. I'll leave you the space and go sleep outside by myself."
After saying that, he immediately got out of bed with great speed, grabbed the pillow and quilt and hugged them to his chest. Before Yan Yu could react or even look at him blankly, he opened the door and walked out without looking back.
Now that Yan Yu is in a daze, his reactions are naturally slower than before. He looks at the closed door and the empty bed, his eyes instantly redden, and he whispers, "Shen Jin..."
He felt incredibly sad, as if a needle was pricking his heart, poking around and drawing blood. The pain was excruciating, but he could only endure it, saying dryly, "If you don't want to talk about it... I won't..."
His eyes were red as if they were about to burst into tears. He sniffed and muttered softly, "But you don't have to do this."
...Just grab the blanket and leave...
This makes him feel scared and insecure, because it shows that Shen Jin is excluding him, doesn't want to be close to him, and even hates him.
"It's so cold outside again..." Yan Yu muttered sadly, wanting to call Shen Jin back, but he knew that Shen Jin wouldn't pay attention to him at this time. After all, he had already taken the pillow and quilt out, so how could he possibly come back just because of a few words from him?
Shen Jin really found him annoying...
With red-rimmed eyes, he sat alone in his room, lost in thought, his mind wandering to all sorts of random things. He wondered what he had done to Shen Jin, otherwise, why would someone so gentle and polite to others treat him this way...
After leaving the house with his pillow and blanket, Chen Jin climbed onto the roof. Under the bright moonlight, he chose a relatively clean spot, placed the pillow on it, and lay down.
The rooftops here are quite clean, although there's bound to be some dust, but it just rained recently, so overall they're clean.
Shen Jin pulled the quilt over himself, exhaled, stared blankly at the moonlight, and suddenly muttered to himself, "Finally, it's quiet."
Yan Yu didn't call his name in his ear, nor did he nag him to talk to him anymore, but even so, Shen Jin still couldn't fall asleep immediately. He tossed and turned for a long time before gradually drifting off to sleep.
In these mountains, Chen Jin wakes up a bit faster in the morning, since there are roosters crowing and the sun rises from the east, which is quite dazzling, making it hard to sleep for long.
But today he slept quite soundly, not waking up when the rooster crowed. He only opened his eyes groggily when the sun was high in the sky, but closed them again when the sun stung them.
"It's already morning..." Shen Jin couldn't help but sigh. After sighing, he felt something was wrong. It was too bright. So he stood up and looked around from the high rooftop.
The villagers here are all very hardworking. They get up early to get busy, and smoke rises from every household. The aroma of food fills the air. Even now, it's almost noon, but you can still see many people working.
Shen Jin neatly folded the quilt, sat on the rooftop, and let out a sigh of relief. Suddenly, he remembered that the New Year was just over a month away... He suddenly felt homesick, wondering how his family was doing and how they would spend the New Year...
"If only I were with them right now..." Shen Jin suddenly became depressed, rubbing his face sadly. He couldn't possibly be unmoved by watching the children playing and laughing with their parents. "It's been so long since I've spent the New Year with them..."
For the past ten years or so, he and Shen Lian had spent New Year's together in that dilapidated house. Although it was simple and plain, they were both very happy during those times.
Now, Shen Lian is no longer by his side, his parents are gone, and all the familiar faces he knew are gone. Only Yan Yu, whom he had once treated with all his heart and hated, and whom he later wanted to never see again, is by his side...
He even turned into a complete idiot who knew nothing.
His life was nothing short of a farce.
"But this year, I probably won't be able to go back to the city..." Shen Jin muttered to himself. The New Year was approaching, but Yan Yu's health was not ideal, and he couldn't leave yet.
It will be a month or two before he fully recovers, which is next year.
Just as Shen Jin was lost in thought, Xiao Qing, who was under the eaves, suddenly waved at him and called out, "Hey, hey, what are you doing up there so early in the morning? Aren't you cold?"
"It's alright, it's not cold. It's cooler up there." Shen Jin smiled and climbed down from the roof without explaining to Xiao Qing why he wanted to sleep on the roof.
"Young people are so energetic!" the old lady said with a smile. She was holding a ball of yarn in her hand, and it looked like she was knitting a sweater, which had already taken shape.
"Come here, come here," the old lady squinted, perhaps because her eyesight was failing with age, and smiled, "Come here and let me see you."
"What's so interesting about me?" Shen Jin was a little puzzled, but he still smiled and walked up to her, letting her look at him. He even moved his face closer to hers. "Did you see clearly?"
"Get out of the way, who wants to see your face?" The old lady pushed his head aside. "Stand up straight. I'm trying to knit you a sweater and see how you look."
"Huh?" Shen Jin was taken aback, somewhat surprised, feeling a mix of joy and embarrassment. He rubbed his nose and said, "Why did you knit me a sweater? I can just wear anything, it's fine."
"Just stand still when I tell you to. Why are you so talkative?" the old lady complained, then looked around again, weighed her options in her mind, and nodded. "Alright, I know. Go eat now."
Shen Jin gave an "oh" and suddenly didn't know what to say, so he obediently went into the house to wash up and eat. After he finished eating, he naturally had to take the food to Yan Yu's room to feed him.
Shen Jin was in a good mood at first, but the moment he entered the room, he put on a blank face, told him to wash up quickly, and said, "Dinner's ready."
Yan Yu's hand is usable, but it lacks strength and hasn't fully recovered. Therefore, the old lady instructed that it should be used as little as possible when not needed.
After what happened last night, Yan Yu was even more afraid of him. He didn't dare to make him angry or say anything annoying. He just watched him quietly while being fed by him.
Shen Jin exhaled and asked, "I told you to shut up, so you start staring at me, don't you?"
"Huh?" Yan Yu was startled and immediately looked away, silently swallowing the food in his mouth, and said softly, "I'm sorry..."
Shen Jin didn't speak, and continued to feed him bite by bite. In order not to make him angry, Yan Yu was also very obedient. But after a while, he couldn't help but ask, "Were you... cold last night?"
"It's not cold, I slept comfortably, more comfortable than inside," Shen Jin replied calmly.
Yan Yu felt sad because, according to this statement, Shen Jin was able to sleep comfortably outside because of their separation.
No matter how sad he was inside or how aggrieved he looked on the surface, Shen Jin seemed determined and unmoved. He fed him and then left.
The days when Yan Yu lay motionless in bed with his eyes open were extremely boring for him. After all, he had to stare blankly at the ceiling or the window every day, and his only thought was to see Chen Jin.
However, Shen Jin rarely spent time with him. Apart from the three daily meals, he basically ignored him. Even when Shen Jin came, Yan Yu had to be careful, afraid of accidentally provoking him again.
"What should I do..." Yan Yu thought with distress, feeling that things couldn't continue like this. Otherwise, once he recovered, Shen Jin probably wouldn't even pay attention to him anymore. He had to think of another way...
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