Chapter 117 Draft (2)
With a new leader taking office, the capital city underwent tremendous changes, and the Shen family became the first family to be targeted by the new official.
She had assumed that was true, until that day, when she was focused on painting, she received a call from Feng Manman: "Zhenzhen, something bad has happened. Shen Jingsi is in trouble."
When she and Shen's mother arrived at the hospital, he was still in the operating room undergoing emergency treatment. He had lost too much blood, suffered a comminuted fracture of his right leg, and had an infected wound. Whether to completely amputate or treat conservatively was up to the family.
When the critical condition notice came down, Shen's mother was paralyzed and it was she who signed it.
She tried to calm herself down, but no matter what she did, she couldn't control her trembling hands and tears.
Before leaving on his business trip, he kissed her forehead and said to her while she was "sleeping," "Be a good girl and wait for me at home. Once this matter is resolved, I will propose to you."
When they met again, the person was lying in bed, their face pale and bloodless.
Zheng Yaozong called her the following evening.
"See? The Shen family is where it is today entirely because of you, Lu Zhenyu. If you want him to live and the Shen family to not be wiped out, then you'd better marry me obediently."
She could easily imagine what her life would be like after marrying a beast.
But when she saw Shen Jingsi, who was clearly in pain and sweating profusely on the hospital bed, pretending to be relaxed in front of her, pinching her tightly furrowed face and saying, "Cheer up, with you as my little lucky star protecting me, I've survived a great calamity, and we're sure to have good fortune in the future," she hesitated.
Is it a blessing or a curse?
Now she knows.
It turned out that Lu Zhenyu was indeed as the fortune teller had predicted, a cursed lone star.
After the marriage between Shen's mother and the Zheng family was arranged in private, all the male members of the Shen family who were imprisoned were released.
Six months later, they got married.
At the wedding, she, dressed in a beautiful wedding gown, watched as he limped towards her, leaning on a cane, his face grim.
"Come with me."
"This is my wedding."
Do you know who you married? Do you know what kind of beast he is?
"..."
"Why? Why is this happening, Zhenzhen? You're not a stupid girl. I don't believe you don't know how rotten this beast is."
"I know, and I'm willing to do it anyway."
"Then what am I, Shen Jingsi? I've loved you for over a decade, I've followed you around like a dog every day, what am I to you!"
“Shen Jingsi, I don’t need your love. And please remember, I don’t love you, and I certainly don’t love a powerless cripple.”
Sure enough, he left. She saw the shock in his eyes and heard his burning, passionate heart shatter into pieces.
At that moment, she thought that perhaps the sincere and sunny boy from before would never come back.
She pushed him away, and in doing so, she pushed away her own future.
When Zheng Yaozong hit her for the first time, she was in a lot of pain; it hurt all over.
Having been pampered since childhood and rarely even touching a knife, this girl experienced the feeling of being punched in the stomach for the first time.
At that moment, she thought of the ten-year-old Shen Jingsi when he was hit on the head with a stone, whipped until his body was covered in welts, and framed until his leg was crippled.
He must have been in even more pain then.
But he would always smile and say to her, "Silly girl, it looks scary, but it doesn't hurt at all. But if you cry, my heart will ache."
When Zheng Yaozong kicked her and broke her ribs, she didn't feel any pain, but she felt heartache, heartache for that silly boy, and she missed him so much.
After swallowing fifty sleeping pills, she initially lay peacefully in bed, awaiting the impending relief.
Suddenly, those familiar voices echoed in my mind.
"Zhenzhen, my wife, I'll marry you someday."
"Zhenzhen, my wife, I'll protect you from now on."
“Zhenzhen, don’t be afraid, it’s okay, he’ll die soon.”
"Zhenzhen, don't listen to them. You are my lucky star. Shen Jingsi will only love you in this life. After these things are settled, will you marry me?"
"Zhenzhen, you are mine, and you can only be mine."
“Lu Zhenyu, if this is the choice you desperately want, I will let go and wish you well, but I will hate you even more, hate you for the rest of my life, and never see you again.”
"Lu Zhenyu, you want to die and end it all, right? Then go ahead and die. Once you're dead, I'll kill Shen Jingsi and ruin the Shen family. If you dare to die, you'll be committing a sin."
Zhenzhen still didn't die. She dragged her weak body to the bathroom and vomited the medicine by gagging herself.
It wasn't that she hoped to see the man who hated her to the bone again; it was that he hadn't fully grown up yet. She wanted him to persevere a little longer, until he was strong enough to stop worrying about whether he loved Lu Zhenyu or not. Then, her sins would be atoned for.
Perhaps it was God's last bit of pity for her, because she actually managed to escape from Zheng Yaozong's clutches.
"It used to take only thirty minutes to get from the airport to the Shen family home, but it took her five years."
On the plane back to Beijing from Los Angeles, she imagined countless scenarios of their reunion, but she never expected that he would say:
What are you doing back here?
Yes, what is she coming back for?
Maybe I should come back and get a divorce;
They might return to hide;
So why did she go to such lengths to come back?
She actually knew the answer, but it was hidden too deeply, so deep that even she dared not look at it.
"I've saved myself from dire straits countless times, not because I have a great desire to live, but because I wanted to try and see if I could love him again."
That was her answer.
She was not defeated by hardship, but she also wanted to taste sweetness afterward. If possible, the greedy woman would like to have another romance.
And now, she is finally able to face the greed that she used to be ashamed of.
"It turns out that, from beginning to end, she had always hoped to become Shen Jingsi's wife."
She thought she couldn't help but love him; otherwise, her soul would die. Because the only love she had ever truly possessed in her life was his sincere and passionate love.
In the end, even this little bit of love was cruelly taken away by fate.
"Has he fallen in love with Duan Xi'er?"
Perhaps so. After all, in his eyes, she was the woman who had risked her life to save him, and more importantly, her benefactor who had stood by him through thick and thin in his time of crisis.
“I don’t blame or resent, because these are all sins I should atone for.”
I'm just so tired, so tired that I just want to jump into this darkness and hide with them before dawn.
She has saved countless lives and given so many people a bright and beautiful future. Through her books and her words, she has repeatedly told them to live on, that as long as they live, there is hope, and that only by living can they fight back.
But she couldn't save herself, because "the eagle, yearning for freedom, flew itself into the swamp."
"Shen Jingsi, give up. You can't save her, because you're trapped there too."
“Shen Jingsi, she really can’t hold on any longer. Forgive her selfishness and deception. Use the last bit of Lu Zhenyu’s life to help you rise to the top. From now on, I will not force you to do anything.”
When she learned that she was pregnant with their child, she was momentarily dazed.
"Could it be that God has suddenly taken pity on me again, or does He think this is not enough, and I must remain in this hell on earth to suffer?"
She loves this child so much, but does she really love the child? Maybe she loves him, or maybe she just wants to love herself again.
"It turns out that in my twenty-eight years of life, I have loved so many people and helped so many lives, but I have never truly loved or helped myself."
It's not fate that made you a drifting duckweed, it's that you willingly succumbed to darkness.
"Lu Zhenyu, Lu Zhenyu, what shackles, what dross, you are the one who most needs to be awakened."
But that's okay. From now on, look at yourself, look at the future. Even duckweed can take root, provided you cultivate your own soul.
"I'm sorry, Lu Zhenyu, you've reverted to your old self again. You're thinking of using death to escape again. But it's okay, maybe there's a next life."
“Jing Si, Chen Jing Si, let me write your name again.”
Watching him bring down the Zheng family and destroy the Duan family, she knew that the boy had grown up.
"I'm glad you've grown up so fast, because I won't have another five years."
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