Chapter 28 Wearing a mask for too long makes it indistinguishable from flesh and blood…
Dr. Zhang never expected that he would have to work overtime twice in just one week because of Shen Ci.
However, Shen Ci did not come alone this time. She was accompanied by a wealthy man who was very handsome, intelligent, and had a good personality.
After meeting Zhou Shilin in person, Dr. Zhang realized that Shen Ci's description of him was still too modest.
Don't assume that just because he studied medicine, he doesn't know he's the president of the Shijie Group. :)
“Mr. Zhou, Chen Ci’s emotions are still quite unstable, so she asked me to come and explain her situation to you.” Dr. Zhang sat in his office, smiling as he looked at the man in a suit across from him.
In a previous interview, Zhou Shilin told Shen Ci that Shijie regularly provides professional psychological counseling services for its employees, which is true. However, for him personally, this was the first time he had seen a psychologist.
He sat in the chair behind his desk, sizing up the person opposite him, as if assessing whether he was professional enough.
Dr. Zhang understood his expression.
He wished he could take out all his certificates and awards and put them in front of him.
"Does she have a split personality?" Zhou Shilin looked at Dr. Zhang and finally asked him about Chen Ci's condition.
Dr. Zhang smiled and said, "At first, I also thought she had a split personality, but as my treatment of her progressed, I discovered that her situation was quite special."
Zhou Shilin's eyebrows twitched slightly: "What do you mean?"
“Her symptoms resemble those of a split personality, and she intentionally tries to lead me in that direction, but she actually has… a very new type of mental illness.” In the file folder in front of Dr. Zhang was Shen Ci’s paper medical record, along with some photos that Shen Ci had previously provided. He took out several photos of Shen Ci as a child from the file folder and handed them to Zhou Shilin in front of him: “As you can see, this is what Shen Ci looked like as a child. The Shen Feifei that you all thought she was was actually the original Shen Ci.”
Zhou Shilin's gaze fell on several photos on the table. He picked up one of them and examined it closely. The woman in the photo looked to be about eleven or twelve years old. She had short hair, was wearing a martial arts uniform, and was holding a martial arts competition trophy that was bigger than her head.
Despite winning the championship, the person in the photo only has a cool face and doesn't smile as much as the child next to him who won second place.
“Chen Ci started learning martial arts from a young age. She is very talented in this area and is much stronger than her peers. She has basically never lost a competition. However, her mother does not like her learning martial arts. In addition, she is introverted and has few friends at school, so her mother likes her even less.” As Dr. Zhang said this, he took a photo from the file bag and handed it to Zhou Shilin.
In this photo, Chen Ci looks a bit older than in the previous one. She's wearing a dress, has long hair, and is giving the camera a big smile.
"Later, in order to gain her mother's approval, she began to cater to her mother and tried to sculpt herself into the image her mother liked." Dr. Zhang paused here, "But the mask had been worn for too long and had long since become part of her flesh and blood, and could no longer be taken off."
Zhou Shilin looked at the two photos in his hand and remained silent for a long while before speaking: "You mean to say that she doesn't have another personality, and that she has just been playing the role of Chen Ci to please her mother?"
"Hmm." Dr. Zhang nodded. "She acted very well, and her mother was happy with her transformation. As time went on, she almost forgot who she used to be. It wasn't until her second year of high school that she finally realized she had a problem."
Zhou Shilin looked up at him without saying anything. Dr. Zhang took a sip of the water beside him and continued, "In her second year of high school, she witnessed a bullying incident. There were five people on the other side. She could have easily pretended not to see it and left quickly, but the bullied student asked her for help."
Dr. Zhang also glanced down at the old photos of Chen Ci on the table: "One of the reasons why Chen Ci was not liked by her mother when she was a child was that she often fought with classmates who bullied others, and her parents were called in many times. So after she started playing the popular Chen Ci, she never hit anyone again."
Zhou Shilin was silent for a moment before asking, "But that time, she still took action to save someone?"
“That’s right, she did end up fighting with someone. Five people tried to beat her, but she couldn’t defeat any of them.” Putting everything else aside, Shen Ci’s fighting record is indeed verifiable. “But subconsciously, she didn’t want to go back to the days when her mother hated her, nor did she want to admit that the Shen Ci that no one liked before was herself. So she chose to forget that she had fought. She wanted to completely sever ties with her former self.”
For a long time, no one spoke in the office. Dr. Zhang looked at the person in front of him and took a tactical sip of water: "I know you may need some time to process these things, but the illness of a porcelain dermatitis is not just about this."
"..." Zhou Shilin looked up at him, "What could be worse?"
His gaze instinctively made Dr. Zhang afraid to say anything worse, but he could only purse his lips and speak with difficulty: "There is indeed a little bit. Even though she is in this state, she still can't help but fight when she sees someone being bullied. Once, after fighting with someone, she came to her senses and found herself locked in the bathroom with a cut on her wrist that was bleeding."
Zhou Shilin frowned slightly: "What do you mean?"
"During the brief period when she was herself again, she wanted to commit suicide."
Silence fell in the room once more. Dr. Zhang picked up his cup again, wanting a drink; he didn't know why he was so thirsty today. But as he brought the cup to his lips, he realized it was empty and had to put it back.
“She was terrified that time. She didn’t know she wanted to die. If she hadn’t come to her senses in time, she might have already succeeded in committing suicide. After that, she began to worry about when she would unconsciously commit suicide again. She started to try to communicate with herself, and the time she spent as 'Shen Feifei' each time was getting longer. She could even consciously control which face she showed to others. However, she still hadn’t fully accepted her original self, so after putting on the mask, she would still choose to forget.”
After finishing his long speech, Dr. Zhang finally got up and poured himself a glass of water while Zhou Shilin remained silent. The water in front of Zhou Shilin hadn't been touched from beginning to end. Dr. Zhang glanced at it, put down the kettle, and sat down again: "Of course, what I've said is rather brief. There are many details that Chen Ci needs to tell you herself."
Zhou Shilin nodded and asked him, "Before we came here, Chen Ci kept switching between two states. Is there any problem?"
Dr. Zhang said, "Over the years, Shen Ci has come to understand her illness better and better. As I just mentioned, she can even consciously control which face she presents to others. Today's situation must have happened too suddenly, and you are somewhat different to her, so she doesn't know which Shen Ci is better able to handle the current situation, hence the confusion."
"How is she doing now?"
"I'm not sure either, but you can go and see her."
After a moment's thought, Zhou Shilin stood up from his chair.
Chen Ci rested in the room where she usually held consultations. The environment there was carefully designed to help her relax. She closed her eyes and half-reclined in her usual chair, her mood already much calmer.
There was a sudden knock on the door twice. Chen Ci opened her eyes, turned her head, and looked in the direction of the door.
"I am Zhou Shilin," Zhou Shilin's voice rang out from outside the door. "May I come in?"
Chen Ci straightened her clothes and hair, cleared her throat, and said in his direction, "Come in."
The door wasn't locked, and Zhou Shilin pushed it open and went inside. The room was larger than Dr. Zhang's office, and there was a very faint, fresh scent in the air—it was hard to describe, but it made people feel relaxed.
Zhou Shilin looked at Chen Ci sitting in the chair and walked over to her: "How are you feeling now? Are you feeling better?"
"Yes, much better." Chen Ci nodded, then looked at him tentatively and asked, "Have you finished talking with Dr. Zhang?"
"Hmm." Zhou Shilin raised his hand to check the time and asked her, "Are you hungry?"
"..." Just now, Chen Ci had thought about many questions Zhou Shilin would ask her, and she also thought that he might hate her for lying to him for so long and be angry and ignore her. The only thing she didn't expect was that he would ask her if she was hungry first.
"It's really hard not to be hungry at this hour." Chen Ci touched her stomach and smiled at him sheepishly.
Zhou Shilin also smiled slightly and looked at her, saying, "Then let's go get something to eat. What would you like to eat?"
Chen Ci said, "Barbecue!"
“Okay, let’s go get some barbecue.” Zhou Shilin pulled her up from the sofa, and the two of them walked out of the consultation room together.
Zhou Shilin's car was still waiting outside. When the driver saw them get in, he asked Zhou Shilin, "Sir, where are we going now?"
Zhou Shilin fastened his seatbelt and asked Chen Ci beside him, "Where do you want to go for barbecue?"
Chen Ci said, "There's a Miao Miao BBQ place near the North Gate Night Market that's really delicious. Have you tried it?"
Zhou Shilin shook his head and said to the driver in the front seat, "Let's go to the North Gate Night Market."
"Okay." The driver started the car and slowly drove it away.
The Beimenkou Night Market is open from the moment it opens until the early hours of the morning. Chen Ci and Zhou Shilin were lucky; they arrived just in time for the lull between the two peak hours.
There weren't many people at the time, and they could still find an empty table inside. Chen Ci scanned the QR code on the table, ordered a whole bunch of dishes, and then asked Zhou Shilin, who was sitting opposite her, "Is there anything else you'd like to add?"
Zhou Shilin shook his head: "I think what you ordered should be enough to eat."
“Okay.” Chen Ci smiled at him. “Anyway, if it’s not enough, we can order more.”
The barbecue restaurant was newly renovated and had air conditioning, so Zhou Shilin, wearing a suit, didn't feel hot. The two sat in the restaurant without speaking for a while, until Chen Ci finally spoke first: "I'm sorry for lying to you for so long. I said I was a twin because of my illness, and it was too troublesome to explain."
Zhou Shilin didn't seem to care about the matter as much as she thought: "Your condition is your privacy. It's fine if you don't want to talk about it. There's no need to apologize."
“After all, I’ve been lying to you for so long… But I didn’t make it all up. My relationship with my family isn’t really good.” Chen Ci lowered her head slightly, playing with her fingers. “My family is actually quite wealthy. My dad and mom are both from wealthy families. They’re the kind of families that have companies to inherit, just like you.”
"……Um."
"However, my mother is very career-oriented. She was often away from home when I was a child, and my father took care of me. My father spoiled me. He let me do whatever I wanted. So later, my mother found out that he had raised me to be that kind of person, and she got very angry with him. They almost got divorced."
At this point, Chen Ci looked up and explained to Zhou Shilin, "But I didn't hate my mother back then. My maternal grandfather only had her as his daughter; the other three were sons. It was really tough for my mother to compete with her brothers. But when she found out I was also a daughter, she never looked down on me. It's just that she had high expectations for me. She hoped I could be like her and achieve great things in the future, so that even as a girl, I wouldn't be inferior to my brothers... But I'm the one who's least like her."
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